Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a creepy-looking unlicensed handyman in Toledo, was a comical example of how desperate the McCain team became in the final two weeks of the campaign. Because this unappealing idiot was videotaped making a brief untrue claim to Barack Obama, who happened to be campaigning in Ohio near this idiot’s home, John McCain spent his final debate either talking directly through the teevee cameras to “Joe the Plumber” or grotesquely rolling his eyes and grimacing. The next day, Wurzelbacher’s story was easily proven false, and then he proceeded to embarrass the McCain campaign almost every day until, we hoped, he completely vanished forever on Tuesday. It is time to again say good-bye to this clown of lies.
Here at Wonkette, we have a special loathing for the kind of bullshit two-news-cycle “sensations” characterized by this hydrocephalic “Joe the Plumber” nonsense. So we just ignored the brief media-created blip on the campaign-news radar and figured it would all be gone as quickly as … uh, what is a good example? Oh! You probably don’t remember this squeaking dildo of a local judge somewhere who … what, read some celebrity’s will, on teevee? Ah, right, this fat prostitute, who died somewhere. And then, inexplicably, we heard on the cable news that this nobody was angling for a television program. See, this is emblematic of the whole bogus phenomenon: You literally forget anything about these people and why their existence was ever noted.
So this “plumber” character who made all of $40,000 last year and yet wants to get himself videotaped telling Barack Obama he is actually a wealthy person engaged in the purchase of large plumbing concerns, naturally he wants to somehow transform this brief fraudulent encounter into permanent fame and riches. There was even insane talk on the Drudge Report or whatever about Wurzelbacher, this goon, pursuing a contract with a company that issues “country music” recordings.
And then there were the usual new allegations of crime and attempted perversion of the voting process, and then we’re done, right?
Not if Wurzelbacher, a talentless mook, has his way. Luckily, he won’t, because look what “his way” entails:
Mr. Wurzelbacher said he planned to launch a Web site, www.secureourdream.com, with the goal of making it a political watchdog. “We will keep a check on both the Republicans and the Democrats for not only living up to their promises, but also not let them dictate to people how to live and spend their hard-earned fortunes,” he said.
He added that he also planned to launch www.secureourdream.org, which he said will be a charity branch of the watchdog site to raise money “for all sorts of charities and causes for fellow Americans.”
When asked about how much money he would take from the site, he said: “Yes, I would make money to some degree from this charity Web site, but not a whole lot because a majority of the portion collected through this Web site would go to help fellow Americans get a decent living.”
Good god, what is this? You are done, “Joe the Plumber.” You get nothing. Good-bye.
‘Joe the Plumber’ makes plans to take his politics online [Toledo Blade]