Oh, America, what will we do without our Long National Election Nightmare? We’ll do what we always do: Gossip, “scoops,” Joe Biden gaffes, etc. Joe Lieberman! That will be funny, whatever happens to old anus-face. And we’ve already lost so many seemingly irreplaceable human jokes, and it turned out that they were all immediately forgettable, too: Drunken Jenna & Barbara, Krazy Katherine Harris, folksy moron “Hollywood Fred” Thompson, rat-faced fascist Rudy Giuliani in his ladies’ clothes, gay instant-message masturbator Mark Foley, all the hilarious racists such as Jesse Helms and Zell Miller and Trent Lott, etc. So we’ll soon forget all the dumb-ass attention whores who amused us this year, too. Let’s start saying good-bye, together.
Oh, Meghan McCain! You tried so hard to turn your dad’s long blunderful campaign into some kind of “job” or “purpose” for yourself. “McCain’s Daughter Aims To Be Next Wonkette,” read the Women’s Wear Daily headline in September 2007. Well, that worked out about as well as your dad’s campaign, but at least Wonkette’s Jim Newell will always have “a thing” for you.
Oh, and we’re not done with this twit “Joe the Plumber” yet, so we’ll save his Final Good-bye for later today. Ugh.