• May 25, 2012
PRESCIENCE

November 5, 2008

John McCain Perfectly Predicted Election Result A FULL YEAR AGO

by Jim Newell  

We posted this image from a McCain campaign fundraising e-mail last November when the landscape of the election was (a) John McCain is flat broke but is the only Republican who can win this election and (b) Hillary Clinton is a deadly monster who can only be killed by the hero-prophet Walnuts. Hmm. Instead, Hillary Clinton somehow lost her party’s nomination, which made a bunch of old gals angry, which led John McCain to select a random vag for his running mate, which heavily contributed to his rather substantial defeat in last night’s election.

{ 23 comments }

jinmoom November 5, 2008 at 2:09 pm

“Random vag” is now officially my favorite nickname for Palin.

Kwame' November 5, 2008 at 2:10 pm

“A Random Vag Named Also” could work as the title of her memoir.

Hutch November 5, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Makes the acronym RVILF so universal.

BillyClubb November 5, 2008 at 2:12 pm

McCain did defeat Clinton, in that Walnuts got the opportunity to be ridiculed for a longer period of time. But Hillary, we will all get to laugh at you again, sometime in the future. Of this I am sure.

CollegeStudent November 5, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Oh, so its all Hillary’s fault then, isn’t it?

S.Luggo November 5, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Random? She was thoroughly vetted by Wee Willy Kristol and selected community college drop-outs on the McCain staff. And Meghan.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl November 5, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=167366]CollegeStudent[/re]: Those 18 million bitter cracks were replaced in the last few weeks with a new pane sealed with that 3M stuff

Roll Fish November 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm

hold the phones

Clinton didn’t win last night?

HuskyMescan November 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm

this makes it an epic fail of biblical proportions

CollegeStudent November 5, 2008 at 2:28 pm

[re=167373]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: I hope Sarah Palin didn’t get an of that stuff on one of her fancy outfits. That would so violate the return policy, and its impossible to get out.

Purple Tide November 5, 2008 at 2:29 pm

I have no doubt Hillary would have found a way to lose this campaign, Palin and Financial crisis notwithstanding, because she lacks the broad appeal to young and first-time voters, disillusioned independents, and the coin-tossing undecideds. That, and the unsightly gash betwixt her gamy thighs.

tacdab November 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Too small for such a big day.

NoWireHangers November 5, 2008 at 2:31 pm

As Macbeth would say no man of woman born or something.

sezme November 5, 2008 at 2:31 pm

Dewey: Still president of make-believe.

thejames@thejamesrocket.com November 5, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=167406]HuskyMescan[/re]: Yes. A Biblical Epic (Fail)

FreshCliches November 5, 2008 at 2:36 pm

[re=167424]sezme[/re]: Generalissimo Francisco Franco: Still dead.

Christ, I’m old.

Hamster November 5, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Defeats her at what, shuffleboard?

ManchuCandidate November 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Still waiting for my jetpack and flying car.

magic titty November 5, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=167345]Kwame’[/re]: Yes please.

bluetom00 November 5, 2008 at 2:48 pm

I’m glad you said it Newell because the multitude of dickbags on le televisor are only interested in Trashy McWhitey’s kind-of, not-really mea culpa this morning and blaming the election on the most irrelevant of ambiguities that they call “the economy.” Economies don’t beat people. Imagine if Walnuts picked Mittens, or the eBay bAbe, or the HP chick, or anyone who ran a state in which “balancing the budget” didn’t amount to calculating exactly how large every frozen asshole’s oil check would be. They lost on “the economy” because non-dingbats were terrified at the prospect of Trashy having to manage “the economy” come February, when Walnuts’ 96-year-old aunt would murder him with arsenic in his Fiber One.

WIDTAP November 5, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Come on now. In all the world in all the multiverse do you know how improbable that headline is?

MissKLEO November 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Pretty sure she can still win this…

Borat November 8, 2008 at 4:36 am

Palin-Clinton 2012!

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