Wonkette
- Barack Obama is the new president because he ran a stunningly good campaign. [New York Times]
- Coast 2 Coast & Around the World, everyone held sexy election parties last night. [CNN]
- What sunk McCain? The economy, and everything related to it. [Wall Street Journal]
- Russia is going to deploy some missiles to a spot near Poland, to counter the planned American missile defense shield. [BBC]
- Democrats did not get their filibuster-proof majority, but they are closer today than they were yesterday. [The Hill]
- Proposition 8, California’s odious gay marriage ban, looks like it will pass. [Los Angeles Times]
random question….
Has anyone seen anything about the overseas military vote?
I can’t find anything on it.
I had the weirdest dream last night. As I told my wife, I woke up thinking that we had elected a black man with a funny name president.
She said it was probably that burrito I had last night.
Gay marriage will come, eventually. It is the civil rights issue of our time. Hopefully, Obama will come around on this.
hockeymom: What about third party results? Did Barr hand Nader his head?
Colorado sent that trollopy cunt Marilyn Musgrave back to the corn fields, YAY!!!!
I am in the tank for Hopey, but I think we should note that, unlike my country, Mrs Tommy is still an anal virgin.
Look, Prop 8’s important and all, but the only California prop I want to hear about is PROPOSITION R FOR THE GEORGE W. BUSH MEMORIAL SHIT FACTORY. Gimme some updates!
That is so sad about Prop 8. It didn’t come about in the best way, San Fran, but hopefully they can find a new way.
I love my new president!!!!
Ok, I want to talk clothes. Yes, I’m frivolous.
Michelle, wtf was that dress about? You are a gorgeous woman and those dresses on the campaign trail have been great. I don’t get the red and black number.
Jill Biden, nice safe choice in a color that is either ok or good depending on how the light hits it.
Michelle’s mom was beautiful. Elegant and graceful.
Obama girls, beautiful and perfect dresses for their ages.
The star on that stage, Joe Biden’s mom. Mrs. Biden ROCKED. Perfectly dressed for her age and role/position. She drew your eye despite the fact she was about a foot shorter than everyone else on the stage except the Obama girls.
This has been an awesome tank. I will miss it dearly. I thought about getting a job but I’ve decided to move back into my old tank - the Evo Morales tank. I was in it from 2005 to late 2007 and it is a fucking GREAT tank. He’s a proud socialist, his IQ is higher than Bush times Chavez squared, his bat shit-crazy-racist opposition makes Obama’s look sane, and chewing coca is cheap, legal and good for you. Que sea buena hora. See all you alcoholics in La Paz!!!!
Terry: Red and Black, the colors from Hell.
Well, they are the colors of Hell’s Kitchen in downtown Mpls where Al Franken had breakfast yesterday. Hmmmm.
Big winner: US
Big loser: Minnesota
mattbolt: Googled it myself.
Prop R failed spectacularly by a 70-30 margin. Now all we’ll have to remember the mighty Bush II by is our memories… our awful, awful memories… Hold on, lemme find my cubicle flask
Giant Robot: And Bush will follow you soon, before he gets indicted.
Tommy Says Soooo: worlds in the tank tommy and drunk. found this pic on huffingtonpost
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/599/slide_599_12413_large.jpg
Rest of the pics http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/04/reactions-around-the-worl_n_141187.html
What’s Sara K Smith doing up now? I thought she spent last night drinking, filling he belly with stale popcorn, and waiting and waiting to go out. Why would I think that? I’m so confused.
I think the real winner last night was whoever makes gimmicky newsroom technology. CNN with their damn MAGIC BOARD that knows every piece of data ever recorded in America when given the right number of finger-taps. I swear, that thing could zoom in on your house and tell you who you will vote for in 2012, then tell you your estimated date of death. And then there were the hologram people, and the magic Star Trek 3D holo-rooms they’d show up in, I mean how will they trump this for the next election? Will Wolf Blitzer be replaced by a super-sentient android?
Terry: I am the lone voice in the wilderness who liked that dress. It’s cool up very close, but is especially flattering from far away, which is how she was going to be viewed. She dressed for the stage, rather than the cameras, which I dig. My husband thought the daughters both looked cuter, which, as the mother of a daughter, I also get behind.
Glad they didn’t make 60 in the senate because then they’d have to kiss Lieberman’s ass some more. Now they can do the right thing and kick him to the curb. Probably won’t though, Reid’s such a wimp.
mattbolt:
“Will Wolf Blitzer be replaced by a super-sentient android?”
Too late. That happened late last year.
BobLoblawLawBlog:
I’ll give it another look, but I still think Joe’s mom rocked.
Well, I’m not hungover. But I am in mourning. The greatest era of snark has probably come to an end with this humor-challenged overlord. History has shown us that Nero was much funnier than any of the good emperors. I’m sure that’s why tears keep coming to my eyes this a.m…..
mattbolt: Free CNN female sexbots for all?
BobLoblawLawBlog: I liked it. You are not alone.
I wish I had gone to a sexy election party, instead of push the “refresh” button for Al Franken’s results 10 million times.
Another great picture http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/598/slide_598_12382_large.jpg
Can we send joe the fraud to Alaska now?
All of this Hopey Happiness and yet:
http://halturnershow.blogspot.com/2008/11/usa-commits-national-suicide-elects.html
Anonymous said…
This is the best thing Hal, better now than later. It was only a matter of time. I’m truly ashamed of white people and how cowardly they have become. When the niggers take control, and make cities in America look like Mogadishu Somalia, they will understand.
When they get raped, they will understand.
When they lose their jobs to less qualified blacks, they will understand.
When they lose it all and have their children raped and murdered, they will understand.
When the banking system fails and cities look like a scene from a Mad Max move, they will understand.
May God forgive white people for what they have become, and what they have done.
November 4, 2008 11:11 PM
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Stupid Crackers.
hockeymom: You can’t find anything on it because there is no “military vote” per se. Soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen deployed abroad vote absentee wherever they claim their stateside residence. Some claim where they were last based, some claim their hometowns, some claim the place they were posted two years ago. The rules are actually pretty lenient. The “military vote” does not go into a particular silo any more than the “unlicensed plumber vote” does.
An enterprising reporter could get a good feel for the military vote by tallying absentee ballots in cities that are home to big military populations — Norfolk, Va., Columbus, Ga., etc. That would not be a precise measure but it would be a good ballpark figure. Especially if you drilled down to the precincts that included bases.
Juan McMaverick: The best thing is that these people are exposing themselves to the world so we know who they are. Truly disgusting though isn’t it and i didn’t even follow the link.
Juan McMaverick: Better Yet…this gem to read with the cuppa joe.
Congratulations to all you fucking sleeping mesmerized race traitors who just made the United States a 3rd world country filled with Illegal Mexicans and fucking Niggers who will run free and have a Nigger commander and chief looking over their shoulders. You all make me fucking sick. I have burnt the American flag in my front yard. Since the colors no longer mean anything here. Soon to be replaced with the African flag you fucking Idiots. You just gave the car keys to a bunch of Niggers. I am seeking political asylum in Russia. At least Russia would never in their history elect a fucking shitskin Negro. I can live among true white people there. I am selling my house and all my belongings. You fucktards who voted for this Arab Muslim Nignog just signed your own death warrants. To all my white brothers out there. Get the fuck out of dodge while you can. Or live your life under South African rule. Farewell my comrades.
November 4, 2008 11:17 PM
========================
Russia?
flavorflav: I was hoping that one of those holographic gadgets on TV could do my digging for me. I’m lazy this morning.
Did you need some Righty hate to sprinkle on your corn flakes?
Anonymous said…
America just died before each one of our eyes, its time for civil war 2
November 4, 2008 11:21 PM
Anonymous said…
I’m gonna have a fucking heart attack…
November 4, 2008 11:21 PM
Anonymous said…
Any White who voted for this nigger should be shot down like the dog they are. Let’s all go nigger hunting tonight. Make sure you have plenty of ammo AND rope.
November 4, 2008 11:22 PM
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As Happy/Hopey as I feel this morning, the reality that these wierdos exsist, and, ARE NOT HAPPY does put a damper on it just a bit.
OK Not Really….FUCK YOU RIGHTY ASSHOLES!!!!
Juan McMaverick: ………
Congratulations Barry. Congratulations America. Time to stand and deliver.
Worlds End: Newell was in London?
Harvey Birdman: Looks like it
Juan McMaverick: I guess he skipped the chapter of Mein Kampf where Hitler labels Slavs as untermenchen.
Let him try. The Russians can giggle at his response when they tell him they wanted Hopey to win.
HELLS YEAH! We rocked Seattle.
God, some of these comments are so sad. Good luck in Russia - you’ll find they’re actually pretty racist there against ALL outsiders (they base it on RACE not skin colour) so I wouldn’t give a shit for your chances of surviving there a year.
And by the way, as white people, you are by definition immigrants in America.
America is better off without you - just please don’t come over to Europe.
Well, as bad as those racist idiots who posted those comments, there were a LOT of folks who put all that crud behind them and moved into the 21st century.
An older man I’ve known for years, and have suscepted to have some biases he mostly kept to himself, put a HUGE Obama sign in his yard and voted for him. Let’s remember the good majority and let those sick and sad people wallow in that hate.
Juan McMaverick: Russia=skinhead capital of the world. East Germany is a close second.
Welcome to the great state of Irrelevancy, Joe Lieberman.
Darehead: I was very proud of Minnesota in 2004, going strongly for Kerry and electing a very D state legislature. This election, Iowa and Wisconson out-Hoped us, and Paulson, Coleman and Bachmann all seemingly got re/elected. My only consolation is that we are not as stupid as Alaska, in that Coleman hasn’t been convicted of anything. Yet. I think the cold addles brains sometimes.
Fox is hilarious right now:
I agree with Tiffany and they probably could not name who his running mate was until they seen it @ the polls. I also woke up sick to my stomach this morning and am scared what is to come………..
enjoy the sickness, hell awaits.
Hey Sara, no mention yet of this here constitutional Affirmative Action Ban in Nebraska (initiative 424)? There are similar ones elsewhere, like in Colorado. Certainly not quite as fucked up as prop 8.
BobLoblawLawBlog: I actually liked it. It worked on her. She is a strong enough presence to carry a dramatic dress like that.
Juan McMaverick: How can you stand to read that shit. Geez. Makes me want to vomit up my b’fast.
BrownMenace: Colorado shot down the fertilized-egg-as-a-person proposition and SD shot down the blanket ban on abortion. So some small hope. I am really bummed about Prop 8.
Juan McMaverick: The scary thing is, this one knows how to spell, use punctuation and when to use capital letters. This is not a cracker, this is a true paranoid whack job. They’re more dangerous because they don’t drool on themselves and talk to invisible people, so they appear to be rational. They save the truly crazy shit for when they are alone in their own private hell.
Terry: You’re quite right. Thank you America for not inflicting another 4 years of republicanism on the rest of the world. We’re all relieved.
Juan McMaverick:
I heard that shit around Friday, when they realized the insurmountable odds and that the “good ol’ boy” club will be shut down. This country snapped from the 1950s to the 21st century overnight.
I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if I actually knew one of the commenters.
They may leave. If they choose to stay, I hope that they’ll never get to taste the coming prosperity. Ever. They deserve the destitution they have wrought.
I salute you Wonketeers! It has been a fun ride, going back to the days of Ana Marie Cox (like Barry and yours truly, a former Hyde Parker), through the many ups and downs of Cocktober, Blowvember, and, who can forget the wonderful schadenfreude of watching not one but two major campaigns go down in flames of hypocrisy and incompetence! But I warn you, the Age of Snark is over, or nearly so! Although they were wrong in saying that 9/11 was the death of irony, I think 1/20/09 (if you read it backwards and change the 20 into 9+11 it’s almost the same!) will be the death of emotionally arrested snickering. Every era takes its character from its president. The Kennedy years were a time when people dressed well and had energy and purpose(see Mad Men); the early 70s were an age of bad faith and paranoia; in the 90s everyone was getting blowjobs from fat chicks (or maybe that was just me); in the aughts we have all had the mindset of a fraternity boy stuck in a job he is not suited for, pulling pranks and wasting time. Under President Obama, this nation’s intelligentsia (which is well represented on these pages) will become more emotionally mature, well-spoken, and serious. But you ask–Will there not still be rural Republican politicians getting caught having sex with children? Of course! And the sun will rise in the east! But we just won’t care that much. While this is on the whole a very positive development, I will miss the fun we’ve had, and particularly the wonderful, literate, at times dadaist humor provided by Ken, Jim, and Sarah (like yesterday’s President of Ice Cream piece). My advice to you guys is to take advantage of the serendipitous coincidence of graduate school applications to the better programs being due around the time of the inauguration.
Cheerio!
Juan McMaverick: Driving into work this morning, the Drive-By Truckers song “You are Your Crystal Meth” popped up on my iPod.
Seems kind of appropriate in this context.
FMA: I meant, “You and Your Crystal Meth.” Late night. Not enough coffee.
Bigfoot: “this nation’s intelligentsia (which is well represented on these pages)”
Dude, you are soooooooooooo high.
I celebrate Obama’s victory, while weeping for my state, Tennessee. We are so screwed.
Were the seeds planted last night for an Obama Baby Boom?
Not at the Blifil household, that’s for sure. We have enough little brats as it is, thanks all the same. Sex is for suckers.
Bigfoot: What do you have against Dickcember?
Please Wonkette, keep Snark alive at least through the Bush pardons…
Best part of the WSJ article:
The next day, while conservative House Republicans maneuvered behind the scenes to block the bailout bill, Sen. McCain sat largely silent at a crisis summit at the White House. Afterward, Sen. Obama called his staff from his car: “I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said, according to several aides. “Some of the Republicans are clueless. Bush and I were trying to convince them.”
Me and my BF of 3 years went to CA 2 weeks ago and got hitched. It was nice while it lasted. At least we have the certificate framed up in our house.
Yay! America comes to its senses and solves the republican affliction and ends racism. And the bigots get their day too with their anti gay marriage hatefest, even in California! Now the only safe acceptable targets for the bigots are the gays. A lot of ticket splitting yesterday Obama voters, huh? Still need someone at the bottom of the heap some of you Hopeys do, huh? Guess now we need a queer in the Whitehouse to fix the gay haters. Is that the only way to achieve our rights? So for all you only part time equal rights hopeys, thanks sooooo very much for sharing the love. “Air kisses, love ya, mean it!”
Hey, it was 66% against gay marriage a few years ago, it was 52% against gay marriage yesterday. You just gotta keep chipping away.
Terry: Yeah, I did not go for that dress.
Michelle, I love ya, but you’re going RIGHT UP TO the edge….
mattbolt: “Will Wolf Blitzer be replaced by a super-sentient android?”
Or has he already been replaced??????????
Juan McMaverick: Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Okay okay details details — what I really want to talk about is the OBAMA PUPPY.
What/where/when?! What kind of puppy are we talking about here?
Can it please be a pound puppy? A pup elevated from “almost put to sleep” to being the top dog in the nation?