YOUR NEW PRESIDENT  2:17 am November 5, 2008

Barack Obama Wins … Indiana, Too!

by Ken Layne

Indiana. With 99% of the precincts reporting, Indiana has gone blue/black or whatever new thing we will call states. Indiana. It is 2:09 a.m., on Wednesday, and Indiana is in the tank. Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Nevada … it’s 349-159, at the moment. It is a massive win.

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Hola wonkerados.

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CivicHoliday November 5, 2008 at 2:19 am

Fuck. Just…fuck. Good job, America.

Quincy Woo November 5, 2008 at 2:22 am

We’re all in the tank now! Goooooobama! WOO!

bernadette November 5, 2008 at 2:23 am

Thaaaaaaaaaaaank GOD! “That one!” won!!!!!!

the schmada November 5, 2008 at 2:24 am

It’s beer time in Australia, we might be liking you guy’s again!

FreshCliches November 5, 2008 at 2:24 am

Nate Silver’s final projection? Obama – 348.6, McCain – 189.4

Nate Fucking Silver is set for life.

PenguinDreams November 5, 2008 at 2:24 am

Every four years or so, living on the west coast really pays off. I’m very glad it’s still early enough here that I can watch all the votes roll in and still have a reasonable hope of getting up in time for work tomorrow.


(Of course, that says nothing about the hangover. But it’s worth it.)

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:25 am

The last time Indiana voted Democratic was in 1964, in the Civil Rights landslide. Before that, it was for FDR’s first two terms.

Let that sink in for a moment.

It looks like Hopey will hold on in NC as well. The only time that state has voted Democratic since 1964 was in 1976, in the aftermath of Watergate.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:25 am

Not just the first black prez.
The first crying prez.
The first sneezing prez.
The first Joe Cool prez.

PerhapsSo November 5, 2008 at 2:25 am

Warning, Hoosiers: Once you go black, you’ll never go back.

Mara47 November 5, 2008 at 2:26 am

Why isn’t anyone saying LANDSLIDE?

Aurelio November 5, 2008 at 2:27 am

349-159. That’s more than double. A fucking landslide.

Which proves that voters hate Republicans even more than they hate black people.

It kinda chokes me up and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Rachel Ray Jihad November 5, 2008 at 2:27 am

Gene Hackman is in the tank.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:27 am

And Ralph Nader was a spoiler in Missouri. Ah, whatever. Barry won anyway.

sharkytowers November 5, 2008 at 2:29 am

Black is back fall in we’re gonna win…

… check it out…

Aurelio November 5, 2008 at 2:29 am

Is this the first black leader of a white country in the history of the world? I can’t think of any others.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 2:30 am

I’m back. I’m still a little drunk. Okay, I’m still shit-faced. I’m giddy. I’m happy. HOLY FUCK! Did this really just happen?

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:31 am

[re=166418]Mara47[/re]: No, sorry, a landslide is when you confine your opponent to double digits in the electoral vote. See: 1964, 1972, 1980, 1984. Maybe’s Hopey’s re-election can be a landslide, but this ain’t it.

This is more of a 1988-level Bush-Dukakis ass-whooping. Certainly a heckuva lot more of a mandate than anything Dubya ever put together.

facehead November 5, 2008 at 2:31 am

I can haz mandate?

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:32 am

Franken behind by less than 100 votes. The most exciting race ever.

Mara47 November 5, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=166421]Aurelio[/re]: The magic word, at last! Let’s all savor the sound together, children: LANDSLIDE!

apocalypsethen November 5, 2008 at 2:33 am

holy assmuffin, this is a drubbing.

although. I will be mortified if my home state, missouri, can’t manage to be as progressive as INDIANA.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:34 am

I like this new electoral map: East Coast + West Coast + Midwest (don’t let the team down, MO!). Basically, every part of the country that’s worth living in.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:35 am

[re=166430]Darehead[/re]: On the other hand, Michelle Bachmann is beating our favorite elf. I haz a sad.

WagTehGod November 5, 2008 at 2:36 am

In my home state of MO, Hopey is down 338 votes with all the precincts in. Where’s ACORN when you need them????

eatsshootsleaves November 5, 2008 at 2:36 am

I know, Nate Silver NAILED it, except he had Indiana going to McCain. That’s it. That was his one mistake. All hail Nate Silver.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:37 am

[re=166434]jagorev[/re]: She won already. Sob.
I really need a 2 out of 3 here for my favorite picks.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:38 am

[re=166436]eatsshootsleaves[/re]: [re=166412]FreshCliches[/re]: If Nate Silver doesn’t get a job in the White House or at the BLS or somewhere where he can use his forecasting magic voodoo skillz for the good of the country, I will be very disappointed in Barry’s judgment.

iwillsavethispatient November 5, 2008 at 2:39 am

I welcomed the new preznit with a Wonktettini, what did you guys do?

Democratica November 5, 2008 at 2:41 am

[re=166412]FreshCliches[/re]: This is indeed a man that I would travel a great many miles to give a long, slow screw right now.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:41 am

Worst news of the night: California voters may well destroy the marriages of thousands of gay and lesbian couples. That’s a tragedy.

Manchowder November 5, 2008 at 2:41 am

If Obama announces a draft to win the unwinnable Afghanistan, who else is coming with me?

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:42 am

[re=166439]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: 4 shots of Scotch, 6 beers, and a contact high from thousands of ecstatic NYC liberals.

Democratica November 5, 2008 at 2:42 am

Where’s Palin? Has her plane taken off yet? Enjoy that shit, Alaska, and do not send it back here again.

wheelie November 5, 2008 at 2:43 am

So the Bitters were in the tank all along . . .

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:43 am

[re=166439]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Ululate with the Kenyans!

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:44 am

[re=166444]Democratica[/re]: Palin Paledout.

jilly November 5, 2008 at 2:44 am

Let me just go on the record: HOLY CRAP!!! This is great!!! G’nite Wonkettes, it’s been a long 20 months. Now I will sleep the sleep of an innocent baby. My tired.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 2:45 am

[re=166444]Democratica[/re]: Well, if Ted Stevens wins tonight, and he’s a convicted felon, Sarah can appoint herself the next Senator from Alaska.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

PenguinDreams November 5, 2008 at 2:45 am

Check out the rest of the world celebrating along with us. How cool is that!?

knoxtheharpy November 5, 2008 at 2:46 am

Holy fucking shit. And oh god, is it nice not to live in a cracker-ass red state any longer.

Thank you, Californians, for getting your Obamanoid asses over here and working very hard.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 2:46 am

[re=166442]Manchowder[/re]: I can’t unless he lets us gayz back into the military. Oh shit. This is gonna be awesome. Unless I have to go through basic again. That would suck.

wheelie November 5, 2008 at 2:47 am

[re=166441]jagorev[/re]: You sure about that? Could there be a legal remedy if prop 8 is carried?

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 2:48 am

Damn I think Franken may have lost. Maybe he isn’t good enough or smart enough. No, wait, fuck. No fucking way is Coleman gooder or smarter.

sandiegocountybirdatlas November 5, 2008 at 2:48 am

What are them Peruvians doin’? Video pleaze!

PenguinDreams November 5, 2008 at 2:50 am

[re=166441]jagorev[/re]: Yeah, sorry about that. :(

“Land of the Fruits and Nuts” should just be renamed to “Religiously Nutty”.

Aurelio November 5, 2008 at 2:52 am
Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:52 am

[re=166455]smashtheduck[/re]: Coleman has his Iranian sugar daddy flyin’ him around on a private jet and buyin’ him fancy Nieman Marcus suits and funneling secret funds thru his wife. With any luck the lawsuit against him will force Norm to step down.

facehead November 5, 2008 at 2:53 am

[re=166418]Mara47[/re]: Electorally, it is a landslide, but on the overall (popular) vote, it isn’t. That’s probably why.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 2:58 am

Al’s ahead! At 96% reporting!

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:00 am

It’s sad that the reaction from the FreepFucks has me giggling all over again.
The headline says it all. Enjoy:
Obama Wins! God Damn America!

Random sampling of fabulous comments:

About 20 rockets just hit Israel. The news is just breaking. The Muslims are celebrating their Messiahs victory tonight.

Tell you one thing. Lots of Christian hospitals will either stop taking federal funds or close their doors. Some will take federal funds and do abortions. Many more won’t and will either scale back or close their doors.

Israel will be destroyed at this time and because of this new president.

Tens of millions of people sold their souls for silver.
But Sarah never did.

Check out this video of her.

The North Star shines bright, even now.


R.I.P. America

Born – July 4, 1776
Died – November 4, 2008

We had a great run and it was fun while it lasted.

Unspeakable grief. America just died. All that was good, and bright, and full of promise… Gone. The gift that previous generations bequeathed to us at such great cost has been thrown away as though it were a used tampon. Our great achievement this evening: We’ve managed to throw the baby out with the bathwater. We have become a nation of stupid sheeple.

They made me has teh second happiness. Also

shortsshortsshorts November 5, 2008 at 3:03 am

Prop 8 winning right now. Brigham Young’s Great Grandson came against it… but he is THE ANTI-MORMON.

WindbagCity November 5, 2008 at 3:05 am

And what aspect of this historic result does the Indianapolis Star feel captures the historic zeitgeist? “Celebratory gunshots in Indy” Bet the comments will be truly AOL-worthy.

SuperRounder November 5, 2008 at 3:06 am

Suck it, Martinsville!

FreshCliches November 5, 2008 at 3:07 am

[re=166440]Democratica[/re]: Yeah, the economics majors always get the booty call.

DarkSynergy November 5, 2008 at 3:07 am

Hoosier here…. I cant explain how happy I am tonight. Fuck it, yes I can, your all feeling it too! It so incredible to have our vote MEAN SOMETHING FOR ONCE! This is a win for America. 100% for America.

demtard November 5, 2008 at 3:09 am

[re=166473]DarkSynergy[/re]: This Hoosier in diaspora drunkenly feels awesomed, too.

And, Barry poached an EV from Nebraska!!1!111!!!1!1!

american mutt November 5, 2008 at 3:10 am

[re=166441]jagorev[/re]: i voted no. im sorry. obama will address that at some point.

21st century ftw

Robbertjan November 5, 2008 at 3:13 am

Congrats fro mthe Nethelrands everybody, it’s been a long 20 months.

Oh and eeh, good luck with the hangovers. Its 9:15 AM here and I think my head is a landingsstrip of an aircraftcarrier.

demtard November 5, 2008 at 3:16 am

[re=166475]demtard[/re]: Well, damn. They updated that shit and now he’s losing it. :(

wonderboom November 5, 2008 at 3:18 am

wow… indiana? really? wow…

sadderbutnowiser November 5, 2008 at 3:20 am

WTF does the alt-text FTW mean? FTN means “Fuck the Navy” as we all know … does W stand for Whitey there, or something else. Inquiring minds want to know.

facehead November 5, 2008 at 3:23 am

[re=166481]sadderbutnowiser[/re]: I’m drunk so I’ll assume you are serious.

Most of the time it means “For the win!”

Sometimes “Fuck the world.”

Context makes this clearer of course.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 3:24 am

Franken’s in the lead.

Democratica November 5, 2008 at 3:25 am

[re=166471]FreshCliches[/re]: Yup, nerds are H-O-T! Gimme a numbers man any day…

P.S. Baby Boomlet approx. 9 months from now. On my mark. GO.

runcrash November 5, 2008 at 3:27 am

Anyone watch MSNBC when Cory Booker was on and you could hear people talking in the background? I heard someone say “I love this guy” I couldn’t tell if they were being sarcastic.

FreshCliches November 5, 2008 at 3:28 am


Welcome to the internets!

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:30 am

Prop 8 results. Not all in but it’s Yes for now. This could suck.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 3:33 am

[re=166484]jagorev[/re]: by less than 300 votes. This is killin’ me.

I Am Not Your Gary Busey November 5, 2008 at 3:36 am

“You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.”

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 3:36 am

No, Coleman ahead again.

I Am Not Your Gary Busey November 5, 2008 at 3:37 am

Ken, I don’t know you at all, but I detect that it crushes every bone in your body to betray even as small a bit of HOPE as you do with: “It is a massive win.”

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:37 am

Looks like we got Udall in CO though.

zetetic November 5, 2008 at 3:41 am

[re=166467]smashtheduck[/re]: And from another thread, what I think is my favorite Freeper comment of all time:

“Please tell me this is a nightmare and I am just dreaming.”

Sure thing. Just go back to sleep. We’ll wake you up in four years.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:46 am

[re=166495]zetetic[/re]: See that’s why I’m still awake. Afraid I’ll fall wake up to “Breaking News” like I did in 2000. Nah I’m just stupidly happy.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 3:49 am
Darehead November 5, 2008 at 3:50 am

Wow, OK, Franken up a few thousand with less than 2% to go….I think we have a winner. Who’s smart enough and good enough. And doggone it, despite Bachmann, I won’t be embarrassed to be from Minnesota again….3…2…

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:51 am

Now they want to secede. Can we please, for fuck’s sake, just let them? Please? Seriously, would we really miss Alabama or wherever this fucker’s from?

The only thing softening a possible loss on Prop 8 is the joy I feel at these fucker’s pain.

Biff1 November 5, 2008 at 3:51 am

At last I can sing our national anthem with pride again!!!'s/Dark%20Loser%20Hole.mp3

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 3:52 am

[re=166500]Worlds End[/re]: You know, I may have found my new second favorite website.

Biff1 November 5, 2008 at 3:53 am
Darehead November 5, 2008 at 3:55 am

[re=166502]smashtheduck[/re]: Feds musta pulled the link. It dun got nuked.

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 3:57 am

Well, if Franken and Merkley pull this off, and the screwy counting in Georgia (seems like some counties have ignored the absentee ballots until now, which were at a record number) puts Chambliss back beneath 50%, then you can expect a few gazillion dollars and every Democrat lawyer/activist/volunteer on earth to converge on Georgia for the runoff. Yes, we are all Georgians now.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:00 am

Oh damn. Fucker’s pulled the thread on secession. This was the only shot I could get.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:02 am

[re=166507]Darehead[/re]: all I could save before it went bye bye.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 4:02 am

[re=166505]smashtheduck[/re]: ha

jagorev November 5, 2008 at 4:03 am

[re=166502]smashtheduck[/re]: I’d miss some of the red states, because there’s awesome skiing and camping in Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming, and South Carolina has a lot of worthwhile parts. But, let’s be honest, no one is going to miss Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, or Louisiana outside of New Orleans.

CrabtreesBludgeon November 5, 2008 at 4:04 am

Son of a drunk ass bitch!!!!!!! This is an historical, beautiful night – and I will vomit all over myself and admit how much I lurve you all!!! It’s been a long, strange, fucking hilarious trip, and I could not have made it without you!!!! OK, ewwwwwww – kill me now. :-)

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:04 am

Franken’s ahead now with 98% reporting but only by a couple thousand.

Biff1 November 5, 2008 at 4:05 am

Funny, they pulled the thread but the page that says “this thread has been pulled” at the original link still has the title “Is it possible for a State to secede from the U.S.?”


smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:07 am

[re=166514]jagorev[/re]: Okay, so we keep the states we can ski in and save what, Charleston?, from south carolina? I can deal with that. And yeah, we have to keep New Orleans. I love that stupid fucking stinking shithole. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 4:11 am
One Yield Regular November 5, 2008 at 4:24 am

CNN has a story pondering the predicament of “satirists,” asking: WHO will be their target NOW?

Personally, I’m willing to give up snark altogether for this moment.

Be happy. Don’t snarky.

damndems! November 5, 2008 at 4:25 am

Whaddup, Wonkette. I’m just back from Grand Park and obligatory near-cry screaming-down-the-middle-of-Michigan-Avenue-in-search-of-post-Victory-beers. I witnessed History with a woman who spent 8 weekends in Indiana registering voters and getting them to polls this fall alone (let alone the primary and his State Senate campaign), a Columbian, and a Brit. I suck by comparison, but hey, I donated like $15 to Hopey, right?

It was amazing. Amazing. Thanks for making this election tolerable. I love you guys, man. Dudes…

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 4:25 am
smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:33 am

[re=166523]damndems![/re]: Whuddup!!!! Wish I coulda been there. $15 Totally counts. Fuck it. We won.

bago November 5, 2008 at 4:34 am

Whee! liveblogging from linda’s nearthe seattle obama riot on cap hill.sorry Kev, tnis isteh rock.

junkscience November 5, 2008 at 4:37 am

Prop 8 is going to pass in CA, you dumb giddy motherfuckers.

and yes I’m dumb, giddy and while I’ve never fucked my mother… yeah.

Diefenbaked November 5, 2008 at 4:37 am

Oh America, thank you for doing this… will you marry me? (not in a gay way, but in a “some kind of appropriately accepting proposition” way. like “proposition narwhal.” or “eight”)

Monkey November 5, 2008 at 4:41 am

I have no voice left. Hoo fuckin’ ray!

chowkster November 5, 2008 at 4:48 am

Reading PUMA and other Hiltard forums right now is so much fun. Licking their bitter tears really warms the cockles of my black heart.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 4:49 am

Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen. With only 1% of the precincts left to count, a funny thing happened. Our candidate got behind again.

Your next Senator from Minnesota is (in the absence of a great miracle) …. The Redundant Incumbent, Norm Coleman.

We’ll always have snarking.

U.S. Senate
Coleman (R) 42% 1,198,479
Franken (D) 42% 1,197,989
99% precincts reporting

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 4:51 am

OK, Strib just announced there will be a recount.

wealwaysknow November 5, 2008 at 4:54 am
Weeping Jesus November 5, 2008 at 4:56 am

Not to downplay Barry’s historic moment, but if you want to see graphically what “massive” wins are, go to and play with the drop down box to look at the red/blue distribution for various election years.

Look at 1964, 1972, 1980 and 1984.

Those were massive wins, when an entire country seemed to vote as one.

If Barry and the Dem majority can work it well, 2012 could look like one of those years: homogeneous color from one coast to another. Still much work to do, much snark to gack up…. enjoy the moment, but be ready on January 20 to come out and work for the kind of first term that will make Barry’s next one a true landslide.

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 4:56 am

reactions from Fehrners:

I now has teh sleepy.


Weeping Jesus November 5, 2008 at 5:07 am

[re=166524]Worlds End[/re]: Read the thread where one of the yutzes offers up his “prayer”.

Plenty of typical “christian” responses, such as:

“I would pray for Obama but I am not sure it would be devil worship.”

“I can only pray that our great country will survive.”

“I’m not praying for The 0ne. I’m going to pray that this great country will survive him.”

[Where do these people hide during the day, when it is light out? What church spawns these freeper nutjobs?]

smashtheduck November 5, 2008 at 5:12 am

[re=166542]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Odd what vile shit they can spew yet they balk at spelling out “shit” or “fuck”. Fuck them.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 5:21 am

[re=166537]Darehead[/re]: haha

shodan2020 November 5, 2008 at 5:35 am

Yeah, Indiana! I knew we could do it! :D

Taffy November 5, 2008 at 5:39 am

From your friends in Welsh Wales (that’s near England) THANK YOU! After 8 years of that retard we were beginning to wonder what the hell was wrong with you.

We’re all really proud for you today. I’ve already seen my first Obama t-shirt here this morning (I’ve never seen a Bush one that didn’t also have an expletive on it).

Now look after that man for us all – he’s special.

helenaHandbasket500 November 5, 2008 at 5:41 am

America Fuck Yeah!

Petticoatjunction November 5, 2008 at 5:44 am

Oh what a beautiful morning. Indiana blue, Montana fuschia, Oregon ultramarine. Vocal cords shot out from yelling around town, fireworks box expended, champagne empty, clouds of joy over Portland, the ocian o the joy.

Wonketistas thank you, I’ve stayed up every night with you (and 538 and a bag of candy corn.) This is what democracy looks like.

tremendous November 5, 2008 at 5:51 am

[re=166542]Weeping Jesus[/re]: if we’re talking ridiculous freeper threads then this is..amazing

it’s simultaneously trying to say jews need to defend their homeland, and being insanely racist…towards jews.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 6:01 am

[re=166551]tremendous[/re]: not surprising

tremendous November 5, 2008 at 6:08 am

oh not surprising at all – but weirdly hilarious.

the amount of talk about hanging onto your guns because ‘we might need ‘em’ is where it stops being funny and just bounds right into the realms of totally fucking nutsoid. speaking of bounds, i wonder what tucker bounds is up to right now. i’m sure it involves self hate and sobbing, whatever it is.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 6:18 am

[re=166554]tremendous[/re]: Whats funny is this quote. Also as a atheist i hate the religious kooks, freepers are always good for a laugh.

Israeli-US relations have “a bright future,” Israeli foreign ministry spokesman Ygal Palmor said. But Palestinian president Mahmud Abbas urged Obama to speed up efforts to reach an Israeli-Palestinian peace agreement.

persiflage November 5, 2008 at 6:32 am

From Pravda>:

Only Satan would have been worse than the Bush regime. Therefore it could be argued that the new administration in the USA could never be worse than the one which divorced the hearts and minds of Americans from their brothers in the international community, which appalled the rest of the world with shock and awe tactics that included concentration camps, torture, mass murder and utter disrespect for international law. Yet in choosing Obama, the people of America have opted to come back into the international fold. Welcome back, friends!

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 6:34 am

Barry, Indiana!
Scary, Minnesota!

Giant Robot November 5, 2008 at 6:44 am

Wahoo!! Now we have seen that anyone can be president in the US! Exceptions include muslins, jews, uncloseted conservative gays, and socialists.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend November 5, 2008 at 6:49 am

“Your New President”

Say it again baby, say it again!

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 6:57 am

Scarborough is being especially douche baggy this morning

Giant Robot November 5, 2008 at 7:04 am

[re=166557]persiflage[/re]: Thank you. Patriotism without Nationalism! Pride without Xenophobia! Christianity without Hate! Change without Violence! Yes we can!!!!!!!

Carrie_Okie November 5, 2008 at 7:07 am

We’re still holding out for our BLUE ball badge of courage here in NC. If we get it, I suggest we go burn down the Jesse Helms Center in Wingate NC. If we don’t get it, I suggest we go burn down the Jesse Helms Center in Wingate NC.

Advocatus_Diaboli November 5, 2008 at 7:13 am

A little off topic, but I’m in Mass and this is the first time everyone/thing I voted for has won!

Results of the 3 Mass propositions as reported by Nelson Muntz:

Prop 1 (abolish the income tax): 70%-30% ha ha paultards
Prop 2 (decriminalize pot): 65%-35% ha ha puritans
Prop 3 (abolish dog racing): 56%-44% ha ha jerks who abuse dogs

Robbertjan November 5, 2008 at 7:16 am

[re=166559]Giant Robot[/re]: wouldn’t it be fun if he now reveals he actually IS a socialist muslim and he and Michelle refer to white people as whiteys?

Advocatus_Diaboli November 5, 2008 at 7:16 am

[re=166567]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: oops,
Prop 1 FAILED 70%-30%

epic FAIL on my post for not being clear.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 7:21 am

[re=166568]Robbertjan[/re]: ha

4tehlulz November 5, 2008 at 7:28 am

[re=166567]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Me too. I hope the Paultards finally GTFO and move to Vermont or something.

gliberal November 5, 2008 at 7:29 am

Wait, I missed it. What happened?

tremendous November 5, 2008 at 7:34 am

[re=166573]gliberal[/re]: some stuff. not much. i’m hungry.

Valerie November 5, 2008 at 7:38 am

[re=166417]PerhapsSo[/re]: he is absolutely Joe Cool, no question. But not the first. Clinton.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 7:43 am

[re=166557]persiflage[/re]: Then, strangely, Russia began installing short-ranged missiles in Kaliningrad, aimed at the US…wait, Russkies, the honeymoon hasn’t even begun!

Giant Robot November 5, 2008 at 7:44 am

[re=166568]Robbertjan[/re]: Yes, it would warm the cockles of my heart. It would put him up there with Evo Morales, a socialist pagan who refers to us white folks as “gringos”.

Herunar November 5, 2008 at 7:45 am

NE-2 appears to be very close right now. Obama just might win that 1 electoral vote. By the way, there was talk of hundreds of thousands of early votes not counted in Georgia. The local press has refused to call for the presidential race.

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 7:48 am

fuck franken lost

Coleman GOP (i)

Al Franken, Dem 42%

Canmon (the Inadequate) November 5, 2008 at 7:49 am

Tom Brokaw just called him ‘articulate’.

Biff1 November 5, 2008 at 7:50 am

Free Republic is just for the people who got kicked off of Hal Turner for being too liberal:

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 7:52 am

[re=166582]Worlds End[/re]: Goes into auto-recount from here so Al still has a wee chance. Then there is the lawsuit against Coleman’s top donator (i.e. sugar daddy) which might still bring Norm down.

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 7:54 am

[re=166583]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: “W” also praised him for being ahhrr-tick-roo-luht.

AngryBlakGuy November 5, 2008 at 7:55 am

…I don’t make it a habit to watch “The View”, but I really want to hear what dumpster skank Elizabeth Hasselbeck has to spew this morning!

hockeymom November 5, 2008 at 7:58 am

[re=166558]Darehead[/re]: Bachman and Coleman.
What the fuck, Minnesota.

(actually, I know what the fuck. It’s all the born agains who have been carpet-bombing me with emails about terrorists taking over America and how the Holocaust is going to happen again. And all the idiots who thought it would be “fun” to vote for the third party candidate.)

Sadly, this is exactly what I predicted.

Oh Well….we got the big one and at least the entire country now knows about Bachman so maybe Wonkette can dedicate itself to making fun of her every single day. Norm, I assume, will be in jail in about 8 months.

Robbertjan November 5, 2008 at 7:58 am

So how about those hang over peeps? killing or is the thought of the election results soothing enough? :D

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 7:58 am

[re=166587]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: BTW, are you still angry?

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 8:01 am

[re=166585]Darehead[/re]: Nice im in fl i didnt know his states rules

[re=166587]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Same, she will probably say something like secret commie or wright and or ayers im guessing

ForTheTurnstiles November 5, 2008 at 8:04 am

Will someone fucking tell me how Michele Bachmann is going back to Congress and how fucking lucky we are that we can still laugh at her?

And what are the odds Sarah Palin runs for Ted Stevens’s Senate seat in a few weeks when he’s expelled? I put it somewhere between and “you betcha!”

Sussemilch November 5, 2008 at 8:09 am

To quote Mr. Ford: “My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.”

Darehead November 5, 2008 at 8:10 am

Yup, biggest recipients of our snarkasms will all hail from Mooselands: Palin, Stevens, Bachmann, Coleman.

Advocatus_Diaboli November 5, 2008 at 8:13 am

[re=166572]4tehlulz[/re]: somewhere other than Vermont please, I’m moving there shortly to work in the State House.

War Eagle November 5, 2008 at 8:14 am

[re=166593]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I was just having a sad because we wouldn’t have anybody to kick around — and voila! I saw that Miss B had been reelected.

PJ November 5, 2008 at 8:22 am

Time to buy a flag pin.

angryGOAT November 5, 2008 at 8:25 am

Alaskans r funny

Dientes November 5, 2008 at 8:26 am

[re=166598]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Texas would be much more appropriate(let W deal with the paultards when he goes back to his ranch), or maybe we should consolidate all of the dumb into the state of Minnesota.

Indiana, I’m so proud of you! And so glad I don’t have to go to Martinsville and start indignantly slapping people.

a-petit dejeuner November 5, 2008 at 8:29 am

[re=166572]4tehlulz[/re]: I second that [re=166598]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Not Vermont, please. It’s actually nice up there- you get cheddar, the best maple syrup ever, ultra hippie liberals, and of course… Bernie MOFO Sanders the socialist senator.

Herunar November 5, 2008 at 8:33 am

There’d be a recount in MN if candidates are within 0.5% of each other, right?

a-petit dejeuner November 5, 2008 at 8:36 am

Also, this post’s picture of our new black unicorn overlord is making me spontaneously orgasm. I’m sure it’s not only me. Amirite?

AngryBlakGuy November 5, 2008 at 8:36 am

[re=166590]Darehead[/re]: …I will calm down once the indictments start getting handed out.

[re=166592]Worlds End[/re]: …after seeing some of the back-pedaling and contortions that FAUX News was doing last night, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear her say something HALFWAY decent.

binarian November 5, 2008 at 8:46 am

[re=166611]Herunar[/re]: Cheer up. If Bachmann keeps her seat it’ll be another term of hilarious hijinks and outright stupidity we can lampoon here.

jodyleek November 5, 2008 at 8:46 am

[re=166557]persiflage[/re]: I’d have to disagree…I think Satan would have been an improvement on the Bush presidency.

Vewol Mevemont November 5, 2008 at 8:49 am

America, fuck yeah!

Worlds End November 5, 2008 at 8:50 am

[re=166618]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Their tears were delicious. I also think your giving her to much credit.

Advocatus_Diaboli November 5, 2008 at 8:54 am

[re=166609]a-petit dejeuner[/re]: Yup, and Vermont gave Hopey his earliest and biggest (67%!) victory. Go Dirty Hippies!

4tehlulz November 5, 2008 at 9:03 am

[re=166609]a-petit dejeuner[/re]: Ah come on now; Paultards vs. BERNIE MOTHERFUCKING SANDERS in a steel-cage deathmatch would be awesome.

vintageways November 5, 2008 at 9:09 am

[re=166636]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Actually, I think that was DC. They’re 90% in the tank.

Vewol Mevemont November 5, 2008 at 9:24 am

[re=166653]vintageways[/re]: [re=166636]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Hey, don’t forget Hawaii: 72-27. High surfers are even better than dirty hippies.

guangho November 5, 2008 at 9:25 am

PerhapsSo: Does that mean we will never have a non-black president again? So who’ll succeed Hopey?
George Allen?

Obamaton November 5, 2008 at 9:28 am

Obamaton cried all night. Woke up crying.

Nice that this time it was joy, relief, hope. Not the Bush kind of crying over dead friends, torture and a future squandered.

DoctorCulturae November 5, 2008 at 10:06 am

Alaska is the new Texas.

I woke up this morning to a new world. The gray matter in my brain is rearranged and not just from alcohol intake. Yes we can (inferred to Repubsmuts: no you can’t).

bearbait November 5, 2008 at 10:11 am

[re=166429]facehead[/re]: Depends on whether or not a man will go out with you I suppose. (Sorry, that was a really bad joke…really.)

schnooten November 5, 2008 at 10:45 am

The precinct in Bloomington I was poll-watching allowed write-ins. Ron Paul got as many votes as Danica Patrick.

helenaHandbasket500 November 5, 2008 at 11:55 am

still nursing the blisters on my feet from working the ground game for Hopey in IN. YES WE DID! I am still crying my tears of joy for flipping Indy to the blue column.

Polly Sigh-Entist November 5, 2008 at 11:58 am

alright “swingers,” now that we’ve seen you can vote Democratic, how about we keep on doing this? thx

and, I’m actually happy now that I had to endure some self-righteous fat horrid monster Republitard pollworker from ANOTHER PRECINCT screaming at ME (the boss of my own precinct) about how she was ‘CHALLENGING’ ME from letting a college kid vote in his correct precinct, where he was in the pollbook, where he had proper ID in Hamilton County, Ohio* which the magic CNN board is now saying most likely put Hopey over for the win in Ohio!

P.S. which was completely and utterly and totally out of line and NOT allowed as per her job description

*oh, and when she called the Board of Elections on my ass, guess who was shut downlike McLame? November 5, 2008 at 12:37 pm

[re=166412]FreshCliches[/re]: yes yes yes he is.

mocowbell November 5, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Sigh… Okay, now that we’ve got this out of the way, can we please take up a collection to get that dreadfully insane woman with the dirty red sweatshirt and frightwig hair from that McCain rally a trip to the hairdressers? She’s probably all scared and stuff now, but if she looked good she might feel better instead of bitter. Considering just how much she entertained us all I think she deserves a spa day for all her efforts.

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