With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. We have a new president. His name is Barack Obama.

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  1. As a white man who grew up in Hyde Park, attended a 95% African American High School and voted for Hopey last week, all I have to say is…

    Hell yeah bitches….hell yeah

  2. The most historic blingee ever.



  3. we fucking won…how the fuck did that happen?

    as a white man who grew up in houston texas to believe that the “n” word was just part of the conversation i’m so fucking proud to see this day and to have been a part of achieving it. i honor president-elect obama! i honor myself!

    no snark here for once! i LOVE AMERICA!!!!


  5. I can’t believe this shit….I’m gonna cry too. I’m such a homo.

    How the fuck can I continue to look down on middle America now?

    Holy fucking Jeebus!!!!

  6. Good has triumphed! Yes! Yes! Yes!
    Thank you, America from the bottom of my heart. Joy doesn’t even come close to describe what I’m feeling!!!!!


    Now, with all of the Clinton people Barack is going to bring in “to effect change,” it looks like intern blowjobs, insider trading, and permitting genocide are BACK ON THE MENU!

  8. No snark, just relief from me here out in northeast bumfuck Afghanistan. Pres. Obama, just don’t forget about the help you promised us out here.
    And please, PLEASE, all you commenters get drunk as hell and have massive amount of sex for us out here!

  9. I’m crying in my living room and getting all snotty, which is a guaranteed way to assure that I don’t get any of the free libtard sex that I covet.

  10. I’m going to be not sarcastic for a few seconds:

    out of the approximately 9400 days i’ve spent on this planet, this is one of the best.

    Let the jokes continue tomorrow. Tonight is no joke.

  11. Thank you wonkette, thank you MoveOn, thank you NOW, thank you wonketters, thank you dems, thank you Obama.

    Thank you thank you thank you thank you. Can we forgive Ralph Nader yet? ummmmm, no not yet, not really.

    Gonna be a long hard slog to regain what’s been trashed in the past 8 years.

  12. Thank you, thank you THANK YOU

    I’m half pisht on vintage champagne whooping it up on a Wednesday afternoon with a bunch of mates in Sydney Australia. Our old, faithful, found-dumped-on-the-street tv blew up last night and we had to madly race out this morning to buy a new one just so we could watch the coverage. It cost too much and is stupidly big and flat screened but WE ARE SO HAPPY!!

    From 80% of Strayans, THANK GOD FOR MERKA!

  13. This is so awesome. I live in a very “muslin” building in Falls Church, and people are screaming off their balconies in joy – along with various fireworks. It’s awesome. I’ll bet its scaring the bitters.

  14. This is easily in the top 3 days of my entire life. EVERYONE HERE, SAVOR THIS MOMENT! This is for all of us as American. Every last one of us has reason for hope.

  15. I can’t help but thinking.. FINALLY, that REAL America has won a Presidential race. We are no longer held hostage by the crazies in the boondocks that are scared of different things and different people.

  16. “The land of the free and the home of the BRAVE”

    Just when we humans had given up on Americans as self-centred, selfish, insular, xenophobic blundering giants, along with the other fundamentalist countries, dangerous but not serious (and those are the good points:), you go and shock and awe us all again. At a time when not one aboriginal australian is in Australia’s national parliament, Senate or house of representatives (Boo!, Shame Australia, Shame!), the USA elects its first black (post-black?) President of the United States of America. Incroyable! Congratulations to all citizens of whichever political persuasion for making this truly historic choice at a truly historic time. For the first time in a long time, you have given us all hope and if I may be permitted a liberty, we are all Americans tonight.

    USA! USA! USA!

  17. Oh hell yeah. WOOT to the muthafuckin’ WOOT!!!!! Fuck you Caribou Barbie and your bitter followers–go back to Wasilla and start a meth lab franchise!!!!!

    I’ve been reading wonkette for four years and I just want to thank you, the editors, for making this the best election season ever! too many drinks, snark turned into sappy-ness.

    Also, yeah Blingee!!!!!

  18. I dunno. This is kind of like the ’04 Red Sox. That crazy competitive series against the Yankees for the pennant…and then the anti-climactic four game blow out of my beloved Cardinals for the whole thing. But we elected a black president, so I guess that’s cool ‘n’ stuff. But WALNUTS could’ve actually put up a fight.

  19. McCain’s crowd booed when McCain said Obama’s name. He silenced them, and is showing class. Hoping that his followers can take his words to heart.

  20. Fox News is suddenly in love with this very likeable person and not the scary terrorist we’ve heard so much about. Some lady in red actually was saying (just moments after his win was announced) “remember, he is half white….”

    Oh this is rich, Karl Rove is weighing in on how Obama represents what is good about this country, how he to spoke our better angels. Whaaa?? Did Karl just say “The Cosbys” were our first black “first family”?

    Aww…Jesse Jackson is crying in Grant Park, surrounded by white people. Walnuts now sadly speaks. SHIT FUCK Those fuckin supporters are booing. God please protect our favorite son and let him serve this nation with honor and love.

  21. When ABC announced, we heard other apartment dwellers scream along with us. Followed shortly by carefully hoarded fireworks in the alley. Car horns still blaring.
    Let’s get that 51st state thing going!

  22. Free REpublic has the last word: “In an historic event today, the United States elected its first illegitimate President. The President-elect, whose parents were never legally married (and whose father abandoned the poor strumpet and her child when his son was only an infant), sets a glorious example to the youth of the world. Shack-up, cohabitate, whatever – it does not matter. Any children you produce, no matter whether you are married or not, can now dream of becoming President.”

  23. I am old enough to remember (barely) the days before Brown v. Board of Education. I spent a brief part of my childhood in the South when there were still separate drinking fountains and swimming pools for whites and “coloreds.” I sometimes wondered whether a day like today would ever come. BTW, McCain is giving a really classy concession speech, while some of his more idiotic supporters still refuse to give Obama any respect.

  24. John McCain just gave the greatest concession speech I have ever heard. That was entirely selfless and I am glad to see him tonight, be the man he is being tonight. Now….PLEASE DON’T LET SARAH SPEAK!!!

  25. McCain just said that Obama is an American and “no association is more important to me”..

    His crowd booed him….

    Hard to stuff a genie back in a lamp, isn’t it?

  26. McCain, although your supporters are CR_AZY it is nice to see you be so..well amazing. Where have you been the last 18 months?? I’m crying with joy. YES WE DID!

  27. How the fuck am I going to get through the day without my Wonkette snark fix. Well, we can always sit back and wait for the next closeted Republican caught with his dick in a glory hole.

  28. Fffucckkk… Now I can fly the flag again, without the urge to display it upside down. But now that we’ve finally elected a president I believe in and trust, for the first time since I was 13 and Bobby Kennedy was killed, I’m going to have to give up my “outsider” status and get my act together. I’d better vacuum and wash the dishes first…

  29. He Shoots! He Scores!!!

    I hope this means a huge sea change. Here in Canada, more attention is being paid to this election than our last one. Of course, that one was pro forma. This one actually matters to us.

    Nonetheless, the change needed is one HELL of a lot of change. I don’t expect I’ll be crossing the border any time soon. Not until they take down the tank traps. It’s freakin’ rude.

  30. Sounds like someone straightened out the crowd there in AZ.

    Of course we won’t be assholes to the extent that they were in triumph.

    Oh, the mob is going rogue again. So let me paraphrase the great philospher of the tundra “Samb* beat the bitchez!”

  31. After 8 years (basically my entire adult political/voting life) I have endured a lot of bullshit. Thankfully the Phillies have won, Obama has won, and Schadenfreude has made my evening so, so worth it. Thank you President Obama, fuck you not-president McCain and not-vice-president Palin, and good night.

  32. [re=165760]BigLar[/re]: In all seriousness, Lar, consider it “mission accomplished” on all objectives. Drinky now. Sexy later. Hope you get to enjoy much of both stateside soon.

  33. Obama’s acceptance speech has just been released:

    Well we’re movin on up,
    To the east side.
    To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
    Movin on up,
    To the east side.
    We finally got a piece of the pie.

    Fish don’t fry in the kitchen;
    Beans don’t burn on the grill.
    Took a whole lotta tryin’,
    Just to get up that hill.
    Now we’re up in the big leagues,
    Gettin’ our turn at bat.
    As long as we live, it’s you and me baby,
    There ain’t nothin wrong with that.

    Well we’re movin on up,
    To the east side.
    To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
    Movin on up,
    To the east side.
    We finally got a piece of the pie.

  34. I am so proud of my country tonight. We rejected a whole load of crap tonight, all that Atwater/Rove hate and fear.

    Yay, us!

    Loved seeing Jesse Jackson on CNN crying tears of joy. Teddy is probably tearing up, too. It’s a different world than they grew up in, thank goodness. Hell, it’s a different world than I grew up in too.

  35. I turned 18 in 2000. This is the first time my vote has meant anything. Watching Palin cry made it totally worth it. Watching Jesse Jackson cry–a completely different feeling. This is amazing.

  36. Ha Ha, they started playing the theme from “Crimson Tide” as McCain left the stage. How fucking appropriate: Walnuts can’t have control of OUR nuclear sub.

  37. Thanks to all of you young people.

    I have nothing but love and respect and hugs and kisses and tears for you all.

    You have made me believe in America again.

    Love to you all.

  38. I am very wasted. Thank you Ken. So who saw that shot on MSNBC of that skinhead girl crying into to the shoulder of that skinhead guy with the Sarah Palin look-alike in the background?

  39. A gracious concession speech, indeed.

    Now we move to a brave new world where most of us actually know that 250 grand is more than we’re likely to take home next year. In fact I suddenly feel safer in almost every way than I have in eight years.

    Change is certain. Change for the better isn’t. Good work all you good citizens!

  40. McCain was classy and said what he thought… this seems to be what the GOP was not allowing him to say. I would like to see him considered for O’s cabinet. Palin, I hope its a slow polar bear ride back to Alaska.

  41. Please, I hope someone is time capsuling this, all of this, for a Palin ‘012.

    We can never forget. In fact, start passing the hat for the use of the Sarkozi prank call as a 527.

  42. Dixie is still red on that map, but did you look at the percentages? Hopey didn’t win many of those states but OMG did he land a BIG percentage of the voters.

    I still can’t believe Hopey won. Down deep, I really thought that the GOP’ers would have a trick up their sleeve to take the electoral college votes for Florida, Ohio, etc.

    Hopey won. This is a frickin landslide.

  43. This is such an incredible victory, I am beside myself, and both of us are so very happy.

    As a child I grew up in a white blue collar community in a society where official segregation was still legal. This election is such a watershed even if by itself it does not change anything “except” political symbols. Hopefully the vast popular organization that won this election will persist and exert pressure on all institutions to end the wars and deal with the crises that ordinary folks face.

    ps W be gone!

  44. George W. Motherfucking Bush is finally on his way out! I guess my vote did count for something. I’m proud as hell to be an American. Oh, and Cindy is a cunt.

  45. which is more likely: Obama comes out and reveals that he actually IS the second coming of Jesus, or he comes out and rips off his face to reveal a reptillian alien overlord?

  46. oh my god!!!!i just can’t believe this we are so screwed everyone better go fill up you gas tanks(cause he said no drilling)fill up your cupboards(cause as soon as those tax increases take effect jobs are gonna cease to exist)the increases on the coal factories are gonna close them. the owner of the Miami dolphins is going to sell the team to avoid the tax increase.

  47. A Blingee with dignity. Ah, election, how will I miss thee? Let me count the ways…ONE!! Wonkette!! Tell me it ain’t over!! Tell me I don’t have to work at work!!

  48. [re=165908]Kazoom[/re]: I wouldn’t count on that fleg thing just yet especially if it is an American flag. Don;t forget your new pres. doesn’t even put his hand over his heart during the unveiling of a flag!

  49. Yes. We. Did.

    Who would have ever thought this, forty-five years ago? “We have just lost the South for a generation” … and that time has ended.

  50. HE is not black people! his mother was WHITE!!! And just for the record I am not white or black, I am native American and I think now that the white people have come and destroyed the “new world” They should take everything they brought with them and GO HOME

  51. YES WE DID!

    I feel like a toddler who made a poopie in the potty saying “YES I DID”, but it’s so much more amazing than making a poopie.

    But it felt so easy!

  52. thank god!!! i was really not looking forward to trying to start a revolution tomorrow, and NOW i don’t have to!!!! yeah!!! O – BA – MA!!HOPEY WINS!!!! I am so relieved! I wouldn’t really believe it until mccain gave up. Ahhh big sigh of relief!

  53. I wasn’t in the mood to riot tomorrow because I have to work.
    I can also take down my ad on Craig’s list asking for volunteers to join my resistance movement.
    What I want to know is how Palin is going to square her beatdown with God’s will.

  54. Oh yay!!! I don’t have to move to Canada AND my beloved Ohio is blue BLUE again!!!! I want to make out with each and every one of my fellow Wonketeers!

  55. Limbaugh, Hannity, DeLay, Ingrahm, Doocey, Kilmeade, Liddy, Coulter, Kristol, all the retards at NRO, Instafuckwit, Malkin, Pammy, every freeper caught with his dick in the family goat (i.e., all of them) Red State retards, Charles Johnson and his Little Green Turds, John Fund & the editorial board of the WSJ, Assrocket & co., Drudge, Fleischer, Perino, Rove, Billy Cunningham, Jackie Mason, Newt, Buchanan, Washington Times and World Nut Daily assholes, and all others of similar ilk:

    Suck it, motherfuckers. Suck it long and suck it hard. Then swallow. Fuck you all for the last eight years.

  56. To all you McCain losers out there, after the last 8 years (to quote Dr. Phil, who i actually rarely watch) “how’s that been workin’ for ya?” Thank God enough people saw the light to vote the publicans right off the American map! Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa!

  57. [re=165760]BigLar[/re]: BigLar, if you read all the way down to here, we love you, babe. Take care, we’ve got a new president waiting for you when you get home.

  58. Daddy-O is the President. He will be our Commander-in-Chief. Don’t love it? Leave it…

    A fine day for all people of intelligence and empathy. A fine day for those without… but they don’t know it.

  59. Nearly 1 a.m. in San Francisco, but the party is going strong. Having once or thrice commented on Wonkette, how can I NOT comment on this thread, the thread we’ve lived for since a gazillion years ago?

    My whole day was made by seeing my 88 year old African-American neighbor, who never leaves the apartment unless it’s to buy a bottle of cheap wine for the evening, hobbling on his cane out of the polling station at 7:30 this morning with a big smile on his face.

    Tomorrow: I’M buying.

  60. [re=166206]wersoscrewed[/re]: I don’t give a rip-roaring shit if he is pink. He is MY President! I got it right this time! Happy dance…..As far as Texas, F*ck you!

  61. [re=166081]wersoscrewed[/re]:
    I respect Native American roots and I think it would be interesting to dialogue with a Native Amercican conservative. You seem to be saying that white america should simultaneously drill for more oil and gas in the conquered land and… pack up and get out. Just saying…

  62. [re=166393]facehead[/re]: trust it is I who is laughing at you. all of the idiots who think this guy is the second coming. here in a couple of months when you DON’T get that big fat check for doing absolutely nothing you’ll see.I mean come on wake up, he didn’t give a rats ass about his aunt from kenya living in the slums ILLEGALLY he didn’t give a rats ass about his half brother living in kenya in a hut. what on earth makes you think he gives a damn about you?

  63. [re=166617]Giant Robot[/re]: i never said anything about drill and then get out. i would be perfectly fine with them just taking everything they brought them and going home.I mean really just look back they screwed up their own country completely and then came here and completely screwed this one up.

  64. * Occidental College records – not released.
    * Columbia Thesis paper – not available, locked down by faculty.
    * Harvard College records – not released, locked down by faculty.
    * Selective Service Registration – not released.
    * Medical records – not released (only a one-page report).
    * Illinois State Senate schedule – ‘not available.’
    * Law practice client list – not released.
    * Certified Copy of original Birth certificate – not released.
    * Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth – not released.
    * Harvard Law Review articles published – None.
    * University of Chicago scholarly articles – None.
    * Record of Baptism– Not released or ‘not available.’
    * Illinois State Senate records–‘not available.’

  65. [re=166563]Itsjustme[/re]: hey now – my state almost got it right this time. One or two more elections, and we’ll have it. No scolding the toddler…

  66. [re=167017]Tra[/re]: you honestly don’t think there is anything wrong with this? personally i don’t think either one of them should have been president but that doesn’t change the FACTS and no one paid attention. You will gloat for a minute, but something shady is going on and when it comes out, Biden will be your president

  67. [re=167082]wersoscrewed[/re]: you know what? just come back next week, okay? we will all be in the mood to destroy you then…right now we are too busy on a hope high.
    i love america today!!!!!!!

  68. [re=165835]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Truly, suck it. Your YaleySkullandBones Masters have retreated into their yachts, and now we’re going to come and take away your meth and your ak 47s. And make you actually read the bible.

  69. My Heart felt thanks go out to the Bluegums,and the wonderful California liberal Fags.
    John ran a GREAT race, Sarah will be back in 2012, I hope I can beat her then or mabe EAT her then.
    I don’t know what the FUCK to do now.OH BILL!

  70. President Beeblebrox: First do understand this is not personal in anyway I would ask these questions of any candidate running for such an important position.
    i wouldn’t say “paranoid” mostly curious and maybe a little nervous. I’m not saying the state should release it but he should. And I’m pretty sure he has or can get the original with the RAISED seal not a stamp (I have mine). And what about all the other records he has had sealed most of them you or i would have to show to land a descent job, so exactly how can he be President of this country and not have to show these? If you have nothing to hide then why not show them? If nothing else to ease the minds of the everyday people.

  71. [re=168610]wersoscrewed[/re]: What you have is not your birth certificate. It is the CERTIFICATION of your birth. They are two different things. One is an original document that the gubbmint maintains. The other is a document generated by the gubbmint certifying that you were born in that state.

    Obama HAS released a copy of his Hawaii birth certification. And the Vital Records person in Hawaii has said she personally inspected the original birth certificate and it’s all in order. I’m not sure what else you think needs to be done.

    Do you really think this guy, a Constitutional law professor and lawyer, would run for the most powerful office in the world, spend $600+ million doing so, if he didn’t think he was Constitutionally eligible to do so?

    Use Occam’s Razor and consider how bizarre the “Obama is not a US Citizen!!!1” idea really is.

  72. OK, folks, well consider this:
    1. Dems in 2000 said that Bush was not their President (see, Media matters), so I invoke the same position. BHO will NEVER be my President.
    2. At least Sarah Palin didn’t think that there were 57 states as BHO did on Sept. 12, 2008.

    How’s that for being intelligent, BHO people?

    Can’t wait to begin the “I told you so” as the economy tanks and unemployment explodes under his watch. Dems control everything so we can blame everything on them! I am going to really enjoy the next 4-8 years.


  73. [re=170179]nanouk[/re]: Barack Hussein Obama’s not your president? Well, I guess we’re all entitled to one not-my-president. We’re just finishing up with ours; I guess it’s your turn now!

  74. but hopey is a muslim! and let’s not forget what his christian pastor said! …oh, wait. i guess that line of reasoning is fucking retarded afterall… forget i said it.

  75. Do we really have to wait for ten weeks? This is like Senioritis – exams are done, just let me get the eff outta here!

    I’m sure W could be persuaded to head back to Crawford and stay there…

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