Wonkette
Your Barack Obama is leading by either 103 or 174 electoral votes, depending on whether you’re looking at our AP map or the CNN. Your kindly grandpa McCain has 49 electoral votes right now, says CNN, and McCain is at 34. There are new Democratic senators all over the place — New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina — and this is turning into one weird night.
9:01 PM — How about that Juli Weiner with her election-night liveblogging. How ’bout her? HENGHH?! HENGHH?
9:04 PM — John Sununu defeated … that is just weird.
9:06 PM — Ha ha, Bill Bennett believes that Obama’s win will mean, obviously, that there will be no more excuses for poor black kids in America. Buck up, lazoids! Jesus, well that is one way to see such a historical victory.
9:09 PM — Obama 175, McCain 76. This from MSNBC.
9:10 PM — And Florida, jesus, is this still really going that way? Hated Florida?
9:11 PM — Arkansas, 50%-48% for McCain … is this the “bad case of blue-itis” Mike Murphy is talking about?
9:14 PM — DirecTV has an “Election Mix” on Channel 102.
9:15 PM — A million years ago, your editor was watching that “news mix” on DirecTV, on Super Tuesday, and you people made fun of your editor’s teevee for being old. Now that you’re all poor, it’s not such a bad idea to be thrifty with the teevee, MMMHMMM?
9:18 PM — David Axelrod is on the ABC News. We sort of forgot about the networks! They get to do this, too!
9:24 PM — OHIO GOES TO BARACK OBAMA. (ABC News)
9:24 PM — GOP cannot win if it doesn’t get Ohio.
9:26 PM — But hey, MSNBC calls Louisiana for McCain, so that’s something!
9:27 PM — Chuck Todd is chuckling at the impossible path for McCain.
9:27 PM — And the DirecTV live blog (what?) says Hank Williams “Bocephus” Randall Junior is playing terrible music in Phoenix, at John McCain’s famous Victory Party.
9:29 PM — Obama up a bit in N.C., down a tiny 12,000 votes in Virginia with 70% reporting, and Barack’s up 171,000 votes in Florida with 55% reporting.
9:30 PM — And with that, your editor turns the deal over to your other editor, for more liveblogging hot sextoy action!
^^This is your brain on Drugs^^
Call it already!!!! thirsty for my bubbly.
How ABOUT Sarah Palin last night, hennngh? HENNGH? HOW ABOUT HER, HENNNNNGHHH???
Hey, bee-tee-dub, guys, there’s a Wonkette chat going on at http://wonkette.chatango.com for secksie election funtimes.
Why is Chuck Todd acting so weird? “It might not be as good a night for Obama as we might have thought…blah, blah, blah…” WTF Chuck? Trying to keep us tuned in instead of seeing if a Dexter rerun is on?
test
Booooo, Mitch McConnell will still be allowed to prey on interns, ABC sez.
dsmmit let me post one time jesus
Ohio!!!
WestEdEd: FAIL
Too bad the way the Rose Garden is going to be paved over for that new “Executive Basketball Court.”
But what’s history . . . .
WestEdEd: Good point there.
Wallace just said to Britt “Come on over here, big boy.”
I’m kind of speechless.
smellyal8r: bastid
Please call Florida for Barry! PLEASE!!!
Jesus, I’d jump off a bridge if I was only relying on the NYT. They still have Michigan going to Walnuts and haven’t called Penn. Damned dead tree media, with their waiting on “facts.”
Sorry, Weiner?
Julie the Intern rocks!
Lazy Media: Oh god. We fail at life. I new this was coming but I still has a sad.
some bird on brit TV who is a GOP walnut lover claims a florida mccain insider told her florida is lost.
i have never heard of this woman but she looks like she’s tanked (if not in it)
Sir, Juli’s mighty fine, sir! I’ll drop and give her fifty.
Bill Bennett’s got a point. Our guy The Mighty O and his Demo Hordes win this one, we snarkers are going to have to get off our smart asses and… fuck, I don’t know, do stuff, I guess.
MSNBC says no way for McCain.
Ay-rub you. Not.
But here we have the solution to this election’s persistent question. If Bush and Palin leave, and god willing, Michele Bachmann too, who will we make fun of? Dem folks der!
Sarah Palin just arrived to see Juan McCain in Pheenix.
The shit is so about to hit the fan. McCain is going to cut someone.
smellyal8r: Chuck is a tease.
Once Virginia flips, it’s ov-ah
cisco networks just ran an ad on CNN that featured non-holographic business networking technology. awkward!
Anybody see Chris Matthews say “I like the way you hate sir” to Tom Delay?
Please explain.
The night of too close to call.
Sounds like an episode of The Wild Wild West
boo hoo sununu over for you
OffTheRecord: Jesus christ. I cannot spell at all tonight. Knew. Not new. I just need to pass out now.
Sad Panda Hume calls OH for Hopey!!!!
Eek David Axelrod is on every channel at the same time, answering stupid questions. What is Hopey doing???
Fox calls Ohio for Obama. Holy crap.
Dammit! And I almost got to go to the McCain rally.
Free booze! And a chance to see Walnuts call his wife a cunt when he loses!
GONE!
Republican = sad
Mike Murphy just said that Charlie Crist was “called back to Tallahassee for an important legal matter” and would not be at tonight’s McCain victory party in Florida. Ha. Charlie must wanna be Secretary of Tanning in an Obama administration.
I had the fortunate timing to switch to fox news right before they disconsolately said “We have just received news. That ohio. Has gone for Barack Obama.” Karl Rove now has to stutter on about how McCain must win Oregon.
Fox News is going to be so much more fun for the next 4 years.
fox called OHIO!!!!! OH OH OH OH
Apparently Senator “global warming is a hoax” Inhofe is safe, as is Saxby Chambliss. Plenty of pols to make fun of left! (And let us not forget Lieberman has 2 more years before we vote him out).
Fixed News just called Joe The Plumber’s state for Obama. I knew he was in the tank!
Anybody know what W is doing tonght?
Bill Bennett: When the going gets tough, it gets tougher. WTF???
sansabelt: Oh yes! So good.
DeLay said that the democrats would ruin the economy by doubling the minimum wage.
I was impressed.
I swear to my nonexistant libtard god that this guy with the ugly awful orange tie is crying. His voice is actually cracking. Fox News has never been so fun.
Fox just called OH for Barry. Can I finally breathe easy?
Hopey is donning a bullet proof vest.
No real surprises yet though.
Monsieur Grumpe: Making reservations for Bolivia.
…WOOO-HOOOOOO, Ohio for Barry!
Monsieur Grumpe: Drinking, smoking dope, doing lines and hos.
gOhio, gOhio!!!!!
The FOX News Room must be going to hell behind the camera.
OMGZ OHIO GOES TO HOPEY!!
The folks over at Faux News are so fucking depressed right now. They are doing bits about the people behind their election center (or whatever they call it) so they don’t have to talk about Obama kicking McCain’s ass. And then they moved over to the “launch pad,” where that bastard Rove is trying his best to sound hopeful.
Deliciously fun.
Ohio is ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG !
Si su puede! in Chicago. I think Obama’s going to win Ohio and Florida, then all the sphincters on MSNBC will unlax and D Gregory will stop looking like he’s sitting on a stone…MSNBC just announced OH is in the tank for Obama.
msnbc called ohio fer barry!!
David Axelrod’s eyebrows get bigger with every network he switches to. Either that or I’m chugging this Pinot way too fast?
Ha! Fuck all of you you fuckers!!
I was watching FAUX when Brit told Rove they just lost Ohio.
Sweet baby jesus what a sweet moment!!!
You should’ve seen Rove’s response.
“No worries, we’re good just so long as we win California.”
Pregnant Pause.
“Hey Brit, you wanna go grab a beer?”
Yeah, the Dark Lord is slayed!!! Live!!! On the TEEVEE!!
CNN projects WVA goes to McCain. Didnt they call this hours ago? I’m getting antsy
Monsieur Grumpe: Drinking again (finally) and thinking about blow…
Hopey wins Ohio.!!!!!
OHIO!!!! And big, too. Bubbly!
If Barry takes FLA, we’ll be A-OK!
Monsieur Grumpe: Upper Deckering all the loos in the White House
All of New England is with the trrrrists!
Major projection? Wolf Blitzer, you tease!
Fox is calling Ohio as falling to the Muslim horde. Rove says that it is all but over.
WTF Louisiana???? Seriously? Do. Not. Get.
Four Dead In Ohio.
America Mourns.
Once some maniac made a website called http://www.senatorobamas.com * with silly pictures, it was a long shot joke… AND NOW IT IS FUCKING AWESOME
*ken this is not a plug, im just extremely happy.
Wyoming to John-Boy. Dey folks nebber forgave da Hollywood librals for Brokeback Mountain and Robert Redford.
Blue paint got spilled. Yup. Red paint is gunna run, too, but not on the map.
Sweet zombie Jesus, we took OHIO!!!!
Fox: schaedenfreude ftw
FOX is saying that Indiana is not looking good for McCain.
Texan Bulldoggette: YES! MSNBC also called it!
blader: I want to see Rove meltdown into goo!
Why is the foxy fox McCain lady still smiling?
I am getting sooooo happy.
when are we going to get an update on “bat shit” Bachmann? Go Tinkerbell!
Just seent (one of my favorite words) John Bolton on BBC.
What a hateful shitstick. I going to guess that he can only cum when looking at videos of Jesse Helms.
missd77: David Duke ring a bell?
missd77: The Bush flooding of New Orleans sent all the Ds packing. Northern La. is all redneck country. Gods, guns, and Bush.
I still wanna know why CNN accepts advertising from Fox.
Czn939: we sure are! especially because that iraqi dude that owns falafel king in downtown crossing hands out dolmades dipped in hommus while you order. and pickles.
So what do we call that contiguous swath of red states from Texas up to the Dakotas and down through the old south? The Bitter Belt? The Bigot Belt?
What’s up with those folks, besides the fact they don’t like teh Blackz? Can we close all their military bases and stop giving them highway money, so they can revert to their original primitive status?
Time to say the L word? No, Rachel, not talking to you….
ha.
“It looks like they just spilled blue paint”
OMG. oh hi oh! oh hi oh! oh hi hi hi hi yoso. (pardon the modest mouse reference)
okay, so what beer is everyone on?
Strongy O’: Like in “Welcome to the Doll House”?
Kosmas beat Delay/Abramoff pal Tom Feeney in Florida senate race.
Grayson beat Bush rubber stamp Ric Keller for the house.
Two more Dems FTW!
Sadly, the anti gay marriage/domestic partner amendment looks to be a done deal.
The bad guys won that one.
Waiting for Fred Barnes and Bill Kristol to bring out the vat of cyanide laced Flavor-Aid for them all to guzzle instead of living under our new communist-muslin overlord!
smellyal8r:
Maybe eating some pretzels? It would be the manly thing to do.
Itsjustme: Riiight. My bad. Just find it very sad. Sick sad.
Born To Boogie!
Jr’s guitar is a bit out of tune…
Bill and Hillary: Phew, we almost fucked up this election. Wait, we got fucked! Sup with that!
New Mexico too! Add California, Oregon, and Washington and Barry has 274. I have the Hope.
quixoticfilibuster: Ran out of JD, hate beer, all I got left is Smirnoff Ice.
Man…just turned to Faux…Brit Hume sounds like he’s about to reach for a pistol under the desk for to kill himself. Haw haw
Darehead: Hey now! I live in Wyoming…I did my part today, but gee-whiz, I’m only one person.
So, how long until McCain commits sepuku?
Walnuts’ lead in Virginia is down to 13k, and 3/4 of Arlington County STILL hasn’t come in. Buh bye, Walnuts!
I hereby vow that I will never utter a disparaging word against Ohio and Pennsylvania ever again!
simetrias: lolz
quixoticfilibuster:
Very good beer. Yeeeeeeeehaw!
What’s the source / link for the video pictured at the top of the post? I’d like to share it. Thanks!
How weird is it to feel this kind of hope for the future of our country? wow. Things might actually get a little better. This feels so…. foreign! (But awesome.)
VA, IN, NC…. what’s new there?
CNN calls it for OH, that makes my nipples hard.
Czn939: Be careful with that. Listerine might be a better choice.
Arthur Jr will announce Sunday that Bill Kristol has been fired from the NY Times effective immediately to be replaced by anyone else.
Kansas went Red…
Will they ever learn that the Republicans don’t really like them as much as they pretend to?
When will Walnuts come to the stage with the fateful “I have just called Senator Obama…” I’ve got to go to a homo election watch party tonite and it’s only 8:37 CST.
Lord Foppington of Dandyshire: Fred Barnes is arguing that this is still a center right country, even if only 25% of the country wants to have anything to do with the Republican party, and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity have been proclaiming this a socialist country if Obama wins.
Virginia is down to 9k Walnuts lead, and the communists STILL haven’t had half their votes counted.
Bachman barely leads Tinkleberg
20 min. till Comedy Central’s coverage thingy begins!
They’ve turned off the news over at McCain HQ. I think they know. That they don’t want to know.
Walnuts ahead by 2.5k in Virginia and slipping, slipping, slipping….
smellyal8r: I think they’ll send out Trig. He’ll cry and that will be the sign they concede defeat.
I guess Bill Ayers will be Sec’y of Treasury or Homeland Security, no?
Dr. Zoidberg: I like Wyomingians, good sir/ma’am. The place has character. They also have a lot of Republicans. So this was expected. North Dakota looked pinky and almost bluish for awhile though. I really hoped they would go Hopey, but it was a Nopey. Yo well. Thanks for your vote yinnyhow.
Phil Keating = Cato Kaelin? That is not right wing hair. Look out Shep Smith, Phil is on your tail (well, in a matter of speaking)
Don’t worry about Florida. Hopey holds a slight lead, and Miami-Dade hasn’t come in AT ALL. For perspective, he won Broward by nearly 2-1; as goes Broward, so goes Dade.
missd77:
Maybe you missed the news, but all the negroes drowned in a big hurricane…none are left to vote dem
I have picture in picture, so I’m flipping back and forth. I have NEVER seen Fox this low-key in all my life. It’s like watching the wake for a very unpopular parent. “Well, he sure was salt of the earth.” “Sure was.” “More after this.”
?
Ahhhh, shit. I wish I was at Morehouse right now. Surely some Nubian princess would decide she needed that other half of Hopey’s ancestry to snuggles with.
Lazy Media: Hell, they are still VOTING in Dade County. Not sure when they can start counting, but people are still in line to “exercise their franchise” as they say…
smellyal8r: Barnes & Williams are arguing over how big a commie Obama is going to be.
Wow, Fox is still touring their magic set. Rupert paid for it, so we are going to see every Aeron chair they purchased.
Where is Sean Hannity when you need to kick him in the nuts?
There is no God, Liddy, but South Dakota still loves abortions, if that helps.
Oh, who’m I kidding? No snark. Just tears. Of joy. What a pussy I am.