Here’s jolly CNN anchor Rick Sanchez asking “Fast” Joe the Plumber a buncha questions he’s already been asked several times a day since he became the McCain campaign’s raison d’être. Talkin’ about taxes. Then, around 3:40, Sanchez abruptly lists every example of how Joe the Plumber is a lying fraud and a dick. He also makes fun of Joe for being poor on numerous occasions.

Joe is like, “eat a bag of dicks, brother,” the end.

Sanchez is one slick bastard, but why is it that in all of these tax chats with a random plumber from Ohio, not a single anchor or reporter can tell dumb Joe that we already have a progressive tax system, and the debate is about tweaks? This simple fact would efficiently shoot down someone who argues that Obama is inventing the progressive tax system.


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  1. Gah, it is so unfair that someone with a lot more money would be taxed at a higher rate. I am so outraged. This is what caused all those people in Sodom and Gomorrah to rape their visitors. Joe the Plumber speaks for me and All America.

  2. Oh, Rick Sanchez, I have long been looking for a guy to humiliate the people that annoy me. This quality of yours shines through like a beacon in the night. Couple that with your news-anchor good looks, and you’ve stolen my heart. Oh, Rick, will you marry me? Can’t you just imagine our life together, where I tell you where the stupid people are, and you go get ’em for me? It’ll be like a fairy tale, Rick, really it will!

  3. I’m starting to like this Sanchez fellow more and more each day. He just called Joe a huge douche without even saying the word “douche”. incredible.

  4. It’s Joe the Wussie. Can’t take any “bad” questions from Rick Sanchez?

    At least Sanchez manned up to take a taser and a waterboarding (with hilarious results.)

  5. What’s with JTP uttering “brother” like Walnuts says “my friends?” Does that posse all have to use a verbal tick? JTP owes Hulk Hogan royalties for the way he drops it in. Add that to the list of people Joe the Debtor owes. Can’t wait for this asshat to fade away after the VA results are announced around 7:02 EST.

  6. “Name/acronym?” Um, I’m pretty sure Obama and McCain have been referred to by their names more often than Joe The Plumer in this election.

    And acronym? Does anywone call him “JtP”…?

  7. Dear Wonkette,
    I am begging you … over the next two hours, please, please, please, as much of the funny as possible. Really, they’re going to start teasing us at six, but there won’t really be any action at all until eight. So, I’m counting on you: more post, more funny, more than ever before.

    Oh, and I share Viva la Cynthia’s fantasy, FYI.

    p.s. Please. Funny. Posts. More.

  8. As a Poor I would gladly pay more taxes so that Cindy McCain can afford another diamond studded vibrator. It’s really the least I can do. Please tax me more! MORE! And I don’t want a single CENT of my tax blood going to that crippled veteran with gonorrhea. Not for health care. Not for Welfare. Not in my America! Take my pennies so that Cindy can afford another summer home on Native American burial ground. PLEASE! Have you no MERCY!!!!!!!!1!!

  9. Joe the P strikes me as someone who was either 1) a republican mole or 2) accidently caught up in the lights and decided to play along with the role McCain cast him in. Probably the latter. Then he had to act like he had “intellectually” thought things out when in fact his a stupid fuck face. Either way he should go hump his dog.

  10. Love it! “principles” Look it up in the dictionary!! Seems like soething Palin would say to cover HER ass when cornered on question that she was clueless about.

    Principles….He HAS NONE!!!

  11. Markets soared today as traders reacted to what many perceived to be a coded commitment by Joe the Plumber in an early afternoon briefing to maintaining beneficial tax breaks for high-earning entities.

  12. CNN is on all day in my office and I get to see The Sanchez everyday. At first I was all like, wtf homeboy kind of killed a dude (Check it out)

    BUT after the asshole McCain dude who kept saying “I think you know who it is” talking about some anti semetic Obama something, and now this I gotta say…I LOVE YOU SANCHEZ!

  13. Soon “Joe the Plumber” will be rotting in a landfill with “McLovin’ McCain” t-shirts, McCain divot tool key chains, “Drill Baby Drill” hard hats, and Sarah Palin.

  14. The people who don’t work, or don’t work much at all…

    HOW MUCH FUCKING PLUMBING WORK HAVE YOU DONE SINCE THIS ALL STARTED? You admitted that checks show up randomly in your mailbox, you’re on tv and at rallies. HOW MUCH HAVE YOU WORKED IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?

  15. “Acronym or slash name…” and THAT is where they lost me as a viewer. Call it a nom de guerre, call it an alias, but don’t be stupid enough to refer to it as his “acronym or slash name…”. Also, Rick, the “or” and the “slash” in your sentence are performing the same function.

  16. Taxes are like robbing banks. Man, even Ron Paul fans had better abolish all tax defenses.

    I miss the fiendishly clever Republican Party already. Honest.

  17. Brother was pwned today.

    WTF with white guy calling another white guy “brother”? At least he didn’t say “bruthah,” all hep cat like and shit. Instead, he sounded like a Sturgis-goer addressing his “brother” in Harley, right before suggesting that Cindy McCain show us her (whatever).

  18. Hmmm…My American Heritage 4th doesn’t have anything about progressive taxation under “principles.” Damn dictionary must be in the tank.

  19. [re=164281]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Yes. As a lifelong poor person content to live off the gub’ment teat, Joe knows poor people don’t deserve our pity. They deserve a permanent tax cut for people making over $250,000 a year.

  20. So this is how Republicans answer questions today: Either with a “Look it up” non-answer or with a “We all know what anti-Semitic Obama pals around with” non-answer or an “In what respect, Charlie?” non-answer. Whatever the question, there’s a wonderful non-answer in the air to pluck at random.

    And to think: A few short years ago, Karl Rove was plotting an eternal Republican rule. He just forgot that running the country actually requires making sure the country runs.

  21. Hey Wersenbackahauzersteinmeitz! U R Pore. Also, U R so dumm U want 2 bye a plumber bizness dat cant pay for a licenz’d plumber. Go dreenk bleach, moran!

  22. JTP’s such a tool and still quicker on his feet than Ms. Palin – he can actually pull a dictionary name out of his not really a plumber’s crack on the fly.

    oh god let it be done….

    back to calling the bitters to make sure they know where to vote and when the polls close for teh obama biden ticket of sparkles

  23. Sanchez forgot to ask Joe the most important question:
    Do you think you most resemble
    a. DILDO
    b. A double dildo
    c. A used double dildo
    or d. Dick cheney’s wang

  24. Why in bloody hell do we even know about Joe the Plumber?

    The fact that John McCain has brought this non-entity to the national attention is reason enough for McCain to have his liver eaten by a rabid Chinese Crested.

  25. [re=164229]EnBuenOra[/re]: right, because they certainly don’t benefit more from fed services than the poors.

    I hope Joe has a long and happy life pulling dirty tampons from people’s pipes.


    The idea that people who work harder make more money is completely disproved by jobs like, I don’t know, garbage men, construction workers, small business owners, public defenders, sewer inspectors, roofers, district attorneys, grave diggers, and — in general — poor people who work more than one job. Fuck Joe the Plumber. Fuck him and fuck his immediate family.

  27. I’ve decided I need to quit my job so that I can be home to watch Rick Sanchez every day. I’ll get by just fine because Joe the Plumber says that I can just live off the taxes of people who work really hard!

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