Beloved teevee channel Fox News is focused as shit today on race-baiting, terrorism, and pissing off left-wing blogs. It is a marvel. So we’ve compiled some of the morning’s most comical highlights here for your viewing pleasure. The best one is above, in which lobotomized Fox & Friends clown Steve Doocy sees some random black guy walk into a polling station and immediately assumes that this is Obama. Oh boy.
Here’s one of the Fox News fembots showing frumpy old Bill Ayers going to vote — at the same polling station as BARACK OBAMA! What are those two cookin’ up now, hmm? The fembot quickly adds that Bill Ayers is an evil active terrorist who kills white babies all the time with Barack Obama and the ACORNS and they are best friends hate America deathfraudabortion.
Bill Kristol says Sarah Palin is the next FDR, and then adds that he only says that to piss off the GAY-ASS LIBERALS ON THEIR LEFT-WING BLOGS. Done and done — thank you ThinkProgress for the clip!
Now we’re getting to the real juice, the type of dream anecdotes that Fox News producers live for: Black Panthers — you know, like from the ’60s, when the blacks were burning up your neighborhoods! — scaring off nice old white McCain-supporting ladies with nightsticks! In Philadelphia! Oh that’s right, Fox News cameramen, we want to get as many scrubby looking black people in this shot as possible; we want to get America angry again about welfare! And then we’ll want to show this nice white fellow who bravely called the cops on these murderous Black Panthers; we’ll interview him for a while.
Same guy, same place, mentioning how Republican poll watchers were forced by a mean Democratic elections judge to LEAVE ENTIRELY. They claim the judge told them — and how perfect is this — “the Democrats are the party of power here.” What a corrupt machine judge, saying fantasized tripe that would be laughed out of the room in your standard undergraduate fiction writing workshop! Ha ha, even the Fox News anchor can’t stomach that. He adds that an independent council of seventy, along with Republicans and Democrats, have all called the Republican poll watchers’ story more or less retarded.
A note to Fox News: More. Steve. Doocy.