joe the dumber

Joe the Plumber Tries Voting At Wrong Place

And the 15 minutes ends now.One of the seventy-thousand reasons John McCain has a 1% chance of winning the presidency is a dumb tool who called himself “Joe the Plumber” and hoped to get fame and free welfare money as a result of telling a dumb lie to Barack Obama, when Barack Obama was campaigning in this man’s neighborhood. Because he was a creepy looking mouth-breather who didn’t pay his own bills and would get a tax cut under Obama and whose wife had left him to a life of unlicensed work at some other guy’s plumbing business, the McCain campaign naturally decided — in the last weeks of a tightening race — to throw everything behind this unappealing character who represented nothing. And now Joe the Plumber’s trying to vote illegally, too!

Wonkette operative “Tribe” reports from Ohio:

I’m an Obama inside observer in Toledo. Rumor has it, heard from other observers, that Joe the Plumber attempted to cast a ballot in the wrong precinct. Rumor also has it that he was stopped by a City of Toledo police officer in the last few days for speeding … but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

UPDATE: The Toledo Blade and Toledo police confirm the speeding part. This guy is such a dumb cunt!

EARLIER: McCain Now Feuding With JOE THE PLUMBER

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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102 comments

  1. hockeymom

    I want at least one other source on this and then I’m going to carve a giant backwards J on my head.

  2. NoWireHangers

    According to a bear, who heard it from a cat, who heard it from a pigeon’s rat friend, Joe the Plumber sucks.

  3. Serolf Divad

    Matt Yglesias perhaps best summarizes the stupidity of the whole “Joe the Plumber” idiocy:

    Thus, a white male small-business owner practicing a blue collar trade and earning enough money to be hit by Obama’s tax hikes is nothing other than the Platonic Ideal of a Republican (think Tom DeLay when he owned a successful bug-killing business). Republican crowds go wild for Joe because they can identify with him. But by the same token, the people who identify with Joe are the Republican base. They can’t turn this thing around. And they’re certainly not the people you’re supposed to be talking to in October. It’d be as if Barack Obama were criss-crossing the country with a young, hip lesbian acting as his main surrogate to attack McCain’s health care plan.

  4. Them

    Since Joe The Plumber is representative of so many Americans (of the douchebag variety), I guess they’ve decided to let him vote wherever he wants and cast as many votes as he likes.

  5. Dave J.

    [re=163732]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He’s registered, but under a slightly different version of his last name–OMG ACORN VOTE FRAUD!1!!1!!

  6. TGY

    When Sarah flies north to Alaska for her internment (aka ‘state arrest’, like ‘house arrest’) in the American Siberia, she shall not be lonely.

  7. AlexTrebeksGirl

    Please stop calling him Joe the Plumber. Use his full name. The man is a fraud and an exaggerating BITCH. Joe Wurzelbacher cheated in the election, the campaign taxes and a speeding ticket maybe? I’m sick of this shit!

  8. RobPetrified

    Hot water on the left.
    Cold water on the right.
    Shit will only flow downhill.

    (Plumbing for Dummies)

  9. suchsweetthunder

    The real failure of Democracy: That this ass-clown can vote to begin with. God save the Queen.

  10. FreshCliches

    I’ve been to Toledo; I can’t blame Joe for wanting to drive through that town as fast as possible.

    That said, if this story has corroboration, the even Macy’s on Thanksgiving won’t be able to compete with the Election Day Schadenfreude Parade.

  11. Doglessliberal

    [re=163751]larz[/re]: win

    [re=163750]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]: yes, he is an insult to plumbers everywhere.

  12. Cape Clod

    An apt person to use as a symbolic totem of the McCain Campaign. An inept, lunkheaded, self-important tool who thinks he should be treated different from everybody else.

  13. ManchuCandidate

    [re=163750]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]:
    It’s his working name when he escorts.

    I still think he’s Jeff Gannon back at one more attempt to mind fuck us.

  14. larz

    [re=163750]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]:

    I agree! His name isn’t even Joe – it’s Sam. They changed it so he would not sound so much like Alice’s sex slave.

  15. dano

    “… but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

    Hey douche! You have to actually BE somebody before you can use the “don’t you know who I am” gambit!!!

  16. hockeymom

    Nate Silver on FOX right now.
    Shep says he was “overwhelmed” by Nate’s site. Sounds a little pervy to me.

    Love the young Mr. Silver, but I want to buy him a media coach. His eyes bug out when he talks.
    Also, Nate tells Wallace he’d rather work at the White House than for a baseball team.

    Finally, Shep says the “healing process” needs to begin tonight and the yelling needs to stop. But “only if certain people cooperate”. ARE YOU LISTENING HANNITY?????

  17. AngryBlakGuy

    …what are the odds that sometime in the next 6 months this guy is arrested for soliciting a police officer in a restroom somewhere? I’m thinking 5:1!

  18. Oxy Moron

    [re=163744]Dave J.[/re]:

    So his last name isn’t actually “the Plumber”? The McCain camp is full of liars! Next thing you’ll tell me Dora’s last name isn’t actually “the Explorer.”

  19. Viva la Cynthia

    Oh, hooray! Never again will I ever have to hear about this douche after today! That makes it all worthwhile, I think.

  20. MarieDeGournay

    “but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

    And they call Barry a celebrity wannabe?

  21. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=163741]sanantonerose[/re]: Dave Barry said that they looked like giant human thumbs. I missed Carlin’s take on it, but I’ll bet it wasn’t clean enough for the whole family to enjoy?

  22. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=163767]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Well, Joe is a Republican after all. I’d say closer to 3:1.

  23. whatever_dc

    what a dumbass fucktard!

    speaking of which… how far the mightly have fallen: tucker carlson has been reduced to co-hosting the WMAL radio coverage here in DC tonight with that local tool chris plante!!!

  24. 4tehlulz

    >>Shep says the “healing process” needs to begin tonight and the yelling needs to stop. But “only if certain people cooperate”.

    Eat a dick, Shep. High Broderism is dead.

  25. Crab1

    [re=163765]dano[/re]: Also, trust me, cops love it when you let them know how important you are and such. Also.

  26. Kwame'

    I hope this Code Brown Uncle Fester spends eternity blowing Hannity when they both meet their maker.

  27. The Station Manager

    [re=163780]Cape Clod[/re]: Haha, and from the look of things, he’s trying to be a dreaded “community organizer”, which we all know is code for “gay communist”.

  28. larz

    If he had supported Obama they would have picked him up at home, dropped him off at the right location, gave him coffee, a donut, and a chair to sit in, then take him home to sleep it off. Guess voting McCain doesn’t pay.

  29. Them

    McCain’s campaign should be repurposed as a children’s show with all of its simplistic cartoon characters (Sarah the Hockey mom, Trig the Campaign Prop, Joe the Plumber, etc.). It’s certainly boasted the intellectual vigor of the book “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!”

  30. smashtheduck

    He was just trying to protect us since we’re all Joe the Plumber. Plus, what cop wants that kind of paperwork writing all of us a ticket. Even if it did make his quota for the year.

  31. One Yield Regular

    I was in France during THEIR whole “Joe the Plumber” campaign (used to frighten people away from ratifying the EU Constitution), and I just have to say that if ever there was evidence of the vacuousness and sheer laziness of the McCain campaign, it’s their having utterly plagiarized this stupid conceit to use as their own – and then to use it so pathetically.

  32. KissyFace

    J the P is the very reason Arkansas has an amendment on the ballot today stating that no idiot or insane person may vote (honest, this is really on the ballot). So how do you think the idiots will vote on this? And who do you think gets to be the idiot-determiner?

  33. Styrofoam Boots

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK! This is priceless.

    Ken, your wording in this article is spot on. Thank you!

  34. Godot

    Why is Joe the Plumber trying to vote? Isn’t he a convicted felon? If not, why not? Surely such a detestable character is guilty of any number of serious offenses.

  35. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    Tomorrow will be a huge comedown for him. I hope Wonkette will be there to chronicle his rapid descent.

  36. Servo

    [re=163767]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    Nah. After his brief moment of fame, he’ll retreat back to his quiet, humble life of filming himself jerking off the dog.

  37. Charlie Tuna

    To be fair to “Joe”, he isn’t trying to vote illegally.

    He is just that fucking stupid! Give the guy a break, it’s not like he’s running for Vice President, or something.

    Have you guys noticed that this guy is a dead ringer for Steve Wilkos?

    If a absolute dummy like Steve Wilkos can have his own TV show, Joe should be able to vote where ever he damn well pleases.

    He’s a pop culture hero to people with low self-esteem and women with big old tattoos on their lower back.

    God bless Joe. He is the perfect mascot for the GOP ticket.

  38. Rev. Juan MessyCan

    [re=163769]Oxy Moron[/re]: Sorry to break it to you, but her last name is actually “La Exploradora”; her agent talked her into changing it to work on TV. I have the same agent, but I refused to go with “CleanCan.”

    [re=163789]problemwithcaring[/re]: I think it’s going to turn out he’s NOT Gannon, but IS an escort and will be busted driving with a 1.2 blood alcohol level while being blown by a repugnican pastor during a meth binge. (Cocaine just might be too classy.)

  39. HuskyMescan

    At the office, there’s a guy who looks and acts like Joe the Plumper. We call him “Rocky Road” (at least it’s nicer than “Sloth”).

  40. josereyes.theroof

    Jose Plomero, continua sonando con el sueno norteamericano, es ud. un caballero andante para nuestra epoca de polemica.

    Juanito Nueces es su Sancho.

  41. Rev. Juan MessyCan

    [re=163841]josereyes.theroof[/re]: No, yo creo que Jose es el sancho de Juan… Alguien tiene que satisfacer a Cindy, y dudo que su esposo sea capaz.

  42. Sassette

    but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

    14 minutes, 59 seconds, buddy. Enjoy it while it lasts. This time next week you’ll be sitting in the drunk tank shouting “Don’t you know who I am?! I’m Joe the Plumber who drank a Six Pack!!”

  43. Thegreatbacon

    I can’t wait for Joe to show up on Cops “Toledo Nights” in a few years. It’ll be a domestic violence call. Joe will answer the door drunk and tell them rage about how he’s Joe the Plumber, he’s the original Joe. They’ll take him away and then THAT will be the last we hear of him.

  44. answerbird

    dano: I’m Joe the Unemployed Plumber dammit. Now that he is broke he will have to live as William Kristol’s bitch.

  45. norbizness

    This stupid fuckstick could redeem himself in my eyes if he were just to warble a few lines from Beds are Burning.

  46. superfecta

    Ross Kemp called. He’d like his look back. Does that fact that his EastEnders character was in the Falklands War give him a route to high office?

  47. whore4hope

    He’ll be able to reverse that speeding ticket when Prez McCain makes him Secretary of Transportation.

  48. Constitutional Riots

    Rick Sanchez hits it out of the park again this afternoon. He interviewed Joe the Plumber over the phone, and the leaky douche bag’s reasoning today was more of the same talk about those tax breaks of Obama’s that shouldn’t go to those who didn’t work, or didn’t work “very much”. The most radical thing I think he said 3-4 times was that he, and other rich people, “worked harder” and had “GOTTEN BETTER BREAKS” than the scum who might get some welfare check. He also called Rick, “my brother” or just “brother”. Whaa? Answering Sanchez’s probe about his lack of a plumber’s licence, Joe the Plumber snarkily said, “You got me….”. His big one word answer to all of these pesky tax structure issues was “principles”. He ended this mess by ordering Ricko to “look it up in Websters”. Condescension from this plumber wannabee is outrageous.

  49. southxsw

    Don’t diss on Mr. Plumber!

    He will run for Congress soon, and could be representing our great country in our legislative branch.

    This is why McCain and Palin will win, to show us what a regular American looks like and stands for.

    That is to say, a person who wants a hand out as long as it isn’t called socialism.

    GO OBAMA!

    ————————–
    Obama 2008
    “Mad McCain” videos: http://tv1.com/playlists/show/11

  50. whatever_dc

    sean insanity just said five and a half years…

    [re=163920]sanantonerose[/re]: thanks for the carlin link. he was truly a great man and will be missed!

    gods — i’m about to cry again!!!

  51. sgi

    This blog represents everything that is wrong about your great country.

    You debase yourselves and your country with every word you write.

    The world looks on and wonders how the best and the most powerful country in the history of mankind can survive the hatred and prejudice that rages within the hearts and minds of some Americans for other Americans.

    This spectacle of self-destruction is sickening to watch.

  52. MrsNateSilver

    [re=163766]hockeymom[/re]: about Nate, I told him he looks better in glasses — I actually wrote this in an email to him, and the next time he was on Olbermann, he was wearing his glasses! He actually listens to me! Which means I’m totally not his wife because men never listen to their wives. Also he might be gay but whatev.

  53. drunkenredneck

    [re=164083]sgi[/re]: Its easier once you get a few drinks in ya. Also, many of us developed a little bit of a callous vis-a-vis the whole self destruction thing during the impeachment, some of the older cats probably during Watergate, couple of people here probably boarded up the shop in 68… how you made it through the Bush presidency to mourn the crumbling republic here though, seriously, that is some stamina. Speaking of oldies but goodies, the entire McCain late game strategy was based around calling Obama a communist, go check out teh google for this Joe McCarthy guy, now that was a trendsetter.

  54. WeDeserveThisFate

    [re=164083]sgi[/re]: You are so very right. How dare we, as Americans, discuss and deride this fine gentleman who seeks nothing more that quietude and anonymity? These terrible commentators are the same scum who thought George W. Bush did not deserve another term as the most powerful person in the world, and these are the same fools who consider the last eight years to have, in some way, sullied America’s image and prosperity.

    Come, sgi! Let us embark to the land of soft-spoken gentlefolk, where the fires of rage burn not!
    Actually, on second thought, I’m going to stay here. See ya around, fancypants.

  55. OpusOne

    The funny thing is that without Hopey making a spontaneous campaign stop in his neighborhood, John McCain never has the chance to exploit this oaf to Buttafuoco-level relevance. I think he has both candidates to thank for his fizzling superstardom, so maybe that’s why he was trying to sneak into a different polling place.

    Next stop, a commercial throw during “I Love 2008″ on VH-1 in 5 years.

  56. DangerousLiberal

    [re=163765]dano[/re]: That whole “do you know who I am thing” worked like a champ for a certain Idaho senator….

  57. tocute2btrue

    I offered this mutha fucka a ciggereat and 5bucks to slide me his VOTE,now you say he can’t find his pooling place.
    They said us niggas were stupid,dumass whits people scerwing up the world.

  58. Doctorb

    [re=164083]sgi[/re]: Oh no, someone on the internet is being snarky and mean! Why can’t they exercise a little decorum like that nice fake cowboy fellow?

  59. jjthejigolo

    where is joe? has anybody seen joe? oops sorry joe is the loser. what’s next for joe. maybe move to alaska, or get a job with the so called the first dude. His new name will joe the snow mobile racer. lol. go obama.

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