JOE THE DUMBER  3:12 pm November 4, 2008

Joe the Plumber Tries Voting At Wrong Place

by Ken Layne

And the 15 minutes ends now.One of the seventy-thousand reasons John McCain has a 1% chance of winning the presidency is a dumb tool who called himself “Joe the Plumber” and hoped to get fame and free welfare money as a result of telling a dumb lie to Barack Obama, when Barack Obama was campaigning in this man’s neighborhood. Because he was a creepy looking mouth-breather who didn’t pay his own bills and would get a tax cut under Obama and whose wife had left him to a life of unlicensed work at some other guy’s plumbing business, the McCain campaign naturally decided — in the last weeks of a tightening race — to throw everything behind this unappealing character who represented nothing. And now Joe the Plumber’s trying to vote illegally, too!

Wonkette operative “Tribe” reports from Ohio:

I’m an Obama inside observer in Toledo. Rumor has it, heard from other observers, that Joe the Plumber attempted to cast a ballot in the wrong precinct. Rumor also has it that he was stopped by a City of Toledo police officer in the last few days for speeding … but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

UPDATE: The Toledo Blade and Toledo police confirm the speeding part. This guy is such a dumb cunt!


Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


hockeymom November 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

I want at least one other source on this and then I’m going to carve a giant backwards J on my head.

Delicious November 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm


AnnieGetYourFun November 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

I thought he wasn’t registered?

AfghanVet November 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Nixon had plumbers and I am almost certain that this one is a member of the same union.

Panderfinder November 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

did joe the plumber dress as a condom for Halloween?
just wondering.

wildeoats November 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Well “Joe”, guess your 15 minutes is just about up.

rebellitor November 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Obvs, a patriot.

NoWireHangers November 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

According to a bear, who heard it from a cat, who heard it from a pigeon’s rat friend, Joe the Plumber sucks.

pepe November 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm


sanantonerose November 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

What did George Carlin say about white guys who shave their heads?

Serolf Divad November 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

Matt Yglesias perhaps best summarizes the stupidity of the whole “Joe the Plumber” idiocy:

Thus, a white male small-business owner practicing a blue collar trade and earning enough money to be hit by Obama’s tax hikes is nothing other than the Platonic Ideal of a Republican (think Tom DeLay when he owned a successful bug-killing business). Republican crowds go wild for Joe because they can identify with him. But by the same token, the people who identify with Joe are the Republican base. They can’t turn this thing around. And they’re certainly not the people you’re supposed to be talking to in October. It’d be as if Barack Obama were criss-crossing the country with a young, hip lesbian acting as his main surrogate to attack McCain’s health care plan.

Them November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Since Joe The Plumber is representative of so many Americans (of the douchebag variety), I guess they’ve decided to let him vote wherever he wants and cast as many votes as he likes.

Dave J. November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=163732]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He’s registered, but under a slightly different version of his last name–OMG ACORN VOTE FRAUD!1!!1!!

TGY November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

When Sarah flies north to Alaska for her internment (aka ‘state arrest’, like ‘house arrest’) in the American Siberia, she shall not be lonely.

Robbertjan November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Joe the dumber.

AlexTrebeksGirl November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Please stop calling him Joe the Plumber. Use his full name. The man is a fraud and an exaggerating BITCH. Joe Wurzelbacher cheated in the election, the campaign taxes and a speeding ticket maybe? I’m sick of this shit!

larz November 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Was Joe McCain in the back seat calling 911 to complain about this traffic stop?

RobPetrified November 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Hot water on the left.
Cold water on the right.
Shit will only flow downhill.

(Plumbing for Dummies)

suchsweetthunder November 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

The real failure of Democracy: That this ass-clown can vote to begin with. God save the Queen.

Gob November 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Obama should hire this guy to clean his toilet.

HedonismBot November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

What a tool. A pipe wrench, perhaps?

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

I’ve been to Toledo; I can’t blame Joe for wanting to drive through that town as fast as possible.

That said, if this story has corroboration, the even Macy’s on Thanksgiving won’t be able to compete with the Election Day Schadenfreude Parade.

HedonismBot November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

[re=163755]HedonismBot[/re]: A crap-splattered plunger?

Doglessliberal November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

[re=163751]larz[/re]: win

[re=163750]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]: yes, he is an insult to plumbers everywhere.

shortsshortsshorts November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Joe the Plumber cannot be held responsible for what Joe the Voter does.

Cape Clod November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

An apt person to use as a symbolic totem of the McCain Campaign. An inept, lunkheaded, self-important tool who thinks he should be treated different from everybody else.

ManchuCandidate November 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

It’s his working name when he escorts.

I still think he’s Jeff Gannon back at one more attempt to mind fuck us.

larz November 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm


I agree! His name isn’t even Joe – it’s Sam. They changed it so he would not sound so much like Alice’s sex slave.

carerer November 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

[re=163729]hockeymom[/re]: A backward J would look like an L.

dano November 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

“… but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

Hey douche! You have to actually BE somebody before you can use the “don’t you know who I am” gambit!!!

hockeymom November 4, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Nate Silver on FOX right now.
Shep says he was “overwhelmed” by Nate’s site. Sounds a little pervy to me.

Love the young Mr. Silver, but I want to buy him a media coach. His eyes bug out when he talks.
Also, Nate tells Wallace he’d rather work at the White House than for a baseball team.

Finally, Shep says the “healing process” needs to begin tonight and the yelling needs to stop. But “only if certain people cooperate”. ARE YOU LISTENING HANNITY?????

AngryBlakGuy November 4, 2008 at 3:22 pm

…what are the odds that sometime in the next 6 months this guy is arrested for soliciting a police officer in a restroom somewhere? I’m thinking 5:1!

ManchuCandidate November 4, 2008 at 3:22 pm

[re=163761]Cape Clod[/re]:

Oxy Moron November 4, 2008 at 3:22 pm

[re=163744]Dave J.[/re]:

So his last name isn’t actually “the Plumber”? The McCain camp is full of liars! Next thing you’ll tell me Dora’s last name isn’t actually “the Explorer.”

The Pumpernickel November 4, 2008 at 3:23 pm

Whoever is running the McCain campaign should never work again. Or maybe they should…that would be ideal from a Democrat’s point of view, anyway…

shortsshortsshorts November 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=163762]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Right there with you on the Jeff Gannon thing.

Viva la Cynthia November 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Oh, hooray! Never again will I ever have to hear about this douche after today! That makes it all worthwhile, I think.

MarieDeGournay November 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

“but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

And they call Barry a celebrity wannabe?

AnnieGetYourFun November 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=163741]sanantonerose[/re]: Dave Barry said that they looked like giant human thumbs. I missed Carlin’s take on it, but I’ll bet it wasn’t clean enough for the whole family to enjoy?

Cape Clod November 4, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Oh, and he’s also broke and and unemployed. I hope he applies for welfare.

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=163767]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Well, Joe is a Republican after all. I’d say closer to 3:1.

whatever_dc November 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm

what a dumbass fucktard!

speaking of which… how far the mightly have fallen: tucker carlson has been reduced to co-hosting the WMAL radio coverage here in DC tonight with that local tool chris plante!!!

4tehlulz November 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm

>>Shep says the “healing process” needs to begin tonight and the yelling needs to stop. But “only if certain people cooperate”.

Eat a dick, Shep. High Broderism is dead.

Friqasaurus November 4, 2008 at 3:29 pm


yes and the Trooper Palin fired was the one who pulled them over.

problemwithcaring November 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=163767]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: 20:1, a DUI with cocaine on his person.

magic titty November 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=163754]Gob[/re]: Yes.

Crab1 November 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=163765]dano[/re]: Also, trust me, cops love it when you let them know how important you are and such. Also.

Kwame' November 4, 2008 at 3:31 pm

I hope this Code Brown Uncle Fester spends eternity blowing Hannity when they both meet their maker.

The Station Manager November 4, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=163780]Cape Clod[/re]: Haha, and from the look of things, he’s trying to be a dreaded “community organizer”, which we all know is code for “gay communist”.

larz November 4, 2008 at 3:32 pm

If he had supported Obama they would have picked him up at home, dropped him off at the right location, gave him coffee, a donut, and a chair to sit in, then take him home to sleep it off. Guess voting McCain doesn’t pay.

Them November 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm

McCain’s campaign should be repurposed as a children’s show with all of its simplistic cartoon characters (Sarah the Hockey mom, Trig the Campaign Prop, Joe the Plumber, etc.). It’s certainly boasted the intellectual vigor of the book “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!”

smashtheduck November 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm

He was just trying to protect us since we’re all Joe the Plumber. Plus, what cop wants that kind of paperwork writing all of us a ticket. Even if it did make his quota for the year.

One Yield Regular November 4, 2008 at 3:34 pm

I was in France during THEIR whole “Joe the Plumber” campaign (used to frighten people away from ratifying the EU Constitution), and I just have to say that if ever there was evidence of the vacuousness and sheer laziness of the McCain campaign, it’s their having utterly plagiarized this stupid conceit to use as their own – and then to use it so pathetically.

Gorillionaire November 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

He looks like a big toe with a tiny face on it.

friendlynerd November 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Hey now, it was a nice enough place to leave promptly at 18.

KissyFace November 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

J the P is the very reason Arkansas has an amendment on the ballot today stating that no idiot or insane person may vote (honest, this is really on the ballot). So how do you think the idiots will vote on this? And who do you think gets to be the idiot-determiner?

Carrie_Okie November 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm


Dismissed as chance?

Styrofoam Boots November 4, 2008 at 3:38 pm

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK! This is priceless.

Ken, your wording in this article is spot on. Thank you!

Godot November 4, 2008 at 3:39 pm

Why is Joe the Plumber trying to vote? Isn’t he a convicted felon? If not, why not? Surely such a detestable character is guilty of any number of serious offenses.

Canmon (the Inadequate) November 4, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Tomorrow will be a huge comedown for him. I hope Wonkette will be there to chronicle his rapid descent.

carerer November 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm

[re=163799]One Yield Regular[/re]: I thought in France they had Marcel The Guy with Bread Under His Armpit.

Servo November 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Nah. After his brief moment of fame, he’ll retreat back to his quiet, humble life of filming himself jerking off the dog.

Charlie Tuna November 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm

To be fair to “Joe”, he isn’t trying to vote illegally.

He is just that fucking stupid! Give the guy a break, it’s not like he’s running for Vice President, or something.

Have you guys noticed that this guy is a dead ringer for Steve Wilkos?

If a absolute dummy like Steve Wilkos can have his own TV show, Joe should be able to vote where ever he damn well pleases.

He’s a pop culture hero to people with low self-esteem and women with big old tattoos on their lower back.

God bless Joe. He is the perfect mascot for the GOP ticket.

Rev. Juan MessyCan November 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm

[re=163769]Oxy Moron[/re]: Sorry to break it to you, but her last name is actually “La Exploradora”; her agent talked her into changing it to work on TV. I have the same agent, but I refused to go with “CleanCan.”

[re=163789]problemwithcaring[/re]: I think it’s going to turn out he’s NOT Gannon, but IS an escort and will be busted driving with a 1.2 blood alcohol level while being blown by a repugnican pastor during a meth binge. (Cocaine just might be too classy.)

bago November 4, 2008 at 3:42 pm

I believe Strongbad said it best. “Douche douche douche douche” at about 120 douches per minute.

HuskyMescan November 4, 2008 at 3:42 pm

At the office, there’s a guy who looks and acts like Joe the Plumper. We call him “Rocky Road” (at least it’s nicer than “Sloth”).

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 3:45 pm

[re=163802]friendlynerd[/re]: Replace Toledo with Milwaukee, and we have the same narrative!

josereyes.theroof November 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Jose Plomero, continua sonando con el sueno norteamericano, es ud. un caballero andante para nuestra epoca de polemica.

Juanito Nueces es su Sancho.

Local Moran November 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm


He’s in Ohio, right? Make it meth and I’m game.

MARU67 November 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm

In response to an earlier comment, I think he was a douche bag for Halloween.

PoliTacky November 4, 2008 at 3:51 pm


Yeah, I know “who” you “are” asshole:

PREDICTION: 25 more Fox News appearances and he’s done!

Rev. Juan MessyCan November 4, 2008 at 3:52 pm

[re=163841]josereyes.theroof[/re]: No, yo creo que Jose es el sancho de Juan… Alguien tiene que satisfacer a Cindy, y dudo que su esposo sea capaz.

Woodwards Friend November 4, 2008 at 3:52 pm

I can’t wait for his country western album. That will be sweet.

Sassette November 4, 2008 at 3:53 pm

but Joe the Plumber insisted on the officer contacting the officer’s supervisor to let him know “who he was giving a ticket to.”

14 minutes, 59 seconds, buddy. Enjoy it while it lasts. This time next week you’ll be sitting in the drunk tank shouting “Don’t you know who I am?! I’m Joe the Plumber who drank a Six Pack!!”

Thegreatbacon November 4, 2008 at 3:55 pm

I can’t wait for Joe to show up on Cops “Toledo Nights” in a few years. It’ll be a domestic violence call. Joe will answer the door drunk and tell them rage about how he’s Joe the Plumber, he’s the original Joe. They’ll take him away and then THAT will be the last we hear of him.

answerbird November 4, 2008 at 3:56 pm

dano: I’m Joe the Unemployed Plumber dammit. Now that he is broke he will have to live as William Kristol’s bitch.

Schadenfried November 4, 2008 at 3:58 pm

[re=163767]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Gay – 6:1, Straight 3:1

Name Pun Phenh November 4, 2008 at 3:59 pm

And thanks to that stupid cop, my toilet still leaks!

norbizness November 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

This stupid fuckstick could redeem himself in my eyes if he were just to warble a few lines from Beds are Burning.

Min November 4, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Maybe he was running away from his own overweening ego.

sanantonerose November 4, 2008 at 4:09 pm
tito_the_builder November 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm

He put the ballot in his crack!

superfecta November 4, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Ross Kemp called. He’d like his look back. Does that fact that his EastEnders character was in the Falklands War give him a route to high office?

answerbird November 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Schadenfried: Pedophile – 2:1

whore4hope November 4, 2008 at 4:15 pm

He’ll be able to reverse that speeding ticket when Prez McCain makes him Secretary of Transportation.

Constitutional Riots November 4, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Rick Sanchez hits it out of the park again this afternoon. He interviewed Joe the Plumber over the phone, and the leaky douche bag’s reasoning today was more of the same talk about those tax breaks of Obama’s that shouldn’t go to those who didn’t work, or didn’t work “very much”. The most radical thing I think he said 3-4 times was that he, and other rich people, “worked harder” and had “GOTTEN BETTER BREAKS” than the scum who might get some welfare check. He also called Rick, “my brother” or just “brother”. Whaa? Answering Sanchez’s probe about his lack of a plumber’s licence, Joe the Plumber snarkily said, “You got me….”. His big one word answer to all of these pesky tax structure issues was “principles”. He ended this mess by ordering Ricko to “look it up in Websters”. Condescension from this plumber wannabee is outrageous.

Poor_Elitist November 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm

He was speeding to show what a maverick he is. That, and to escape another McCain rally.

southxsw November 4, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Don’t diss on Mr. Plumber!

He will run for Congress soon, and could be representing our great country in our legislative branch.

This is why McCain and Palin will win, to show us what a regular American looks like and stands for.

That is to say, a person who wants a hand out as long as it isn’t called socialism.


Obama 2008
“Mad McCain” videos:

whatever_dc November 4, 2008 at 4:39 pm

sean insanity just said five and a half years…

[re=163920]sanantonerose[/re]: thanks for the carlin link. he was truly a great man and will be missed!

gods — i’m about to cry again!!!

sgi November 4, 2008 at 4:54 pm

This blog represents everything that is wrong about your great country.

You debase yourselves and your country with every word you write.

The world looks on and wonders how the best and the most powerful country in the history of mankind can survive the hatred and prejudice that rages within the hearts and minds of some Americans for other Americans.

This spectacle of self-destruction is sickening to watch.

crunchymunchy November 4, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Any guesses on the number of months it takes til he gets his first DUI?


MrsNateSilver November 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm

[re=163766]hockeymom[/re]: about Nate, I told him he looks better in glasses — I actually wrote this in an email to him, and the next time he was on Olbermann, he was wearing his glasses! He actually listens to me! Which means I’m totally not his wife because men never listen to their wives. Also he might be gay but whatev.

drunkenredneck November 4, 2008 at 5:18 pm

[re=164083]sgi[/re]: Its easier once you get a few drinks in ya. Also, many of us developed a little bit of a callous vis-a-vis the whole self destruction thing during the impeachment, some of the older cats probably during Watergate, couple of people here probably boarded up the shop in 68… how you made it through the Bush presidency to mourn the crumbling republic here though, seriously, that is some stamina. Speaking of oldies but goodies, the entire McCain late game strategy was based around calling Obama a communist, go check out teh google for this Joe McCarthy guy, now that was a trendsetter.

WeDeserveThisFate November 4, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=164083]sgi[/re]: You are so very right. How dare we, as Americans, discuss and deride this fine gentleman who seeks nothing more that quietude and anonymity? These terrible commentators are the same scum who thought George W. Bush did not deserve another term as the most powerful person in the world, and these are the same fools who consider the last eight years to have, in some way, sullied America’s image and prosperity.

Come, sgi! Let us embark to the land of soft-spoken gentlefolk, where the fires of rage burn not!
Actually, on second thought, I’m going to stay here. See ya around, fancypants.

OpusOne November 4, 2008 at 5:41 pm

The funny thing is that without Hopey making a spontaneous campaign stop in his neighborhood, John McCain never has the chance to exploit this oaf to Buttafuoco-level relevance. I think he has both candidates to thank for his fizzling superstardom, so maybe that’s why he was trying to sneak into a different polling place.

Next stop, a commercial throw during “I Love 2008″ on VH-1 in 5 years.

DangerousLiberal November 4, 2008 at 5:42 pm

[re=163765]dano[/re]: That whole “do you know who I am thing” worked like a champ for a certain Idaho senator….

huffybike November 4, 2008 at 6:14 pm

Like we didn’t already know he’s an asshole:

trondant November 4, 2008 at 6:15 pm

[re=164083]sgi[/re]: Where have you been for the past eight years, motherfucker?

tocute2btrue November 4, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I offered this mutha fucka a ciggereat and 5bucks to slide me his VOTE,now you say he can’t find his pooling place.
They said us niggas were stupid,dumass whits people scerwing up the world.

Doctorb November 4, 2008 at 8:32 pm

[re=164083]sgi[/re]: Oh no, someone on the internet is being snarky and mean! Why can’t they exercise a little decorum like that nice fake cowboy fellow?

jjthejigolo November 5, 2008 at 9:28 pm

where is joe? has anybody seen joe? oops sorry joe is the loser. what’s next for joe. maybe move to alaska, or get a job with the so called the first dude. His new name will joe the snow mobile racer. lol. go obama.

jjthejigolo November 5, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Joe macdonald is hiring for a part-time plumber. you dumb fuck.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: