Wonkette
Here is motherfucking Eddie Murphy, live on stage in Washington a quarter century ago telling a crazy humor fiction NOT SAFE FOR WORK story about the First Black President. Thanks Coates! [YouTube]
PROPHECY
Why the First Black President Must Stay In Shape
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So much of Chris Rocks first two stand-up specials predicted this campaign.
I love the red leather suit!
Most white supremacists have delusions of competence and are being closely monitored by the FBI and ATF. That said, I do expect a few “well-organized” attempts on Barry’s life that will end in ignominous failure and martyrdom in the bitter community.
OMG, where have I seen that outfit before? Wait… YES! http://urbzen.com/2008/10/21/now-in-moose-blood-red/
I wonder if Eddie “borrowed” it from the RNC?
I’d be a lot more amused by this if it didn’t raise some of my own fears.
Then Eddie Murphy blew it by singing “Party All the Time” and morphed into a CGI donkey.
So exactly when will it sink in that tomorrow, America will have elected a GODDAMN BLACK PRESIDENT HOLY SHIT
Theta: Delusions of competence, yes. That and a crippling addiction to meth.
What’s up with his pants (crotch). Also, that’s really scary.
Oh, God I feel old now.
Call up the Vatican and buy a spare Popemobile, I want Barry’s ass riding around in a bulletproof bubble at all times.
We can even call it the Hopemobile!
“Hey! I’ve got this project coming up called The Golden Child? Should I take it?”
I bet absolutely no one thought that red suit would stand the test of time, and yet . . . it works. Obama should consider it for the Inaugural.
My Prez wants to party all the time
Party all the time
party all the time.
My Prez wants to party all the time
party all the time!
Barry should call up P Diddy and get some rapper-level security. I mean, sure, Presidents have the occasional wingnut or Jodie Foster fan take a half-assed potshot at them, but rappers have entire gangs of heavily-armed people trying to take them out every day. Think of how many people were gunning for Puffy’s head after everything with Tupac and Biggie, and the bastard still got out of the 90s alive. Now THAT’S a security detail.
DarkSynergy: So did Palin.
LOVE this concert; too bad Luther Vandross, or better yet, James Brown aren’t around any more to sing the National Anthem at the inaugural.
That’s the best I’ve got, since all you bastards beat me to the red leather/Palin references.
What’s the story with that weird belt thing? I don’t remember that ever being in style.
mattbolt: True dat. Not to mention most of the Secret Service detail live in Woodbridge and live and breath right wing read meat. If I’m Obama, I’d sure want to hand pick my team.
CNN — Tucker Bounds!
and now days you can’t get him to appear in a movie unless he gets to wear a fat suit.
Let’s all just enjoy the imminent victory. We’ll have the next 4 years of anxiety drugs to deal with redneck menace.
Off-topic, but I just watched McCain end a rally with “Here I Go” from WHITESNAKE blaring over the loudspeakers.
I’ve done my share of advance work, but this choice of song is rather puzzling. He’s just asked all of us to stand together with him and fight, and then here he goes again…on his own?
I guess he’s going down the only road he’s over known? Like a drifter, he was born to walk alone? He knows what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams?
Or maybe it’s a subtle reminder that he holds the only white snake in the race?
Is this over yet? Just what I needed: Tawny Kitaen flashbacks.
mattbolt: Agree completely. That’s why I’ve been pushing this whole time for Barry to make his public appearances enclosed in a giant, bulletproof hamster ball: http://urbzen.com/2008/10/28/secret-service-obama-to-campaign-in-giant-bulletproof-hamster-ball/
OK listen I cried real tears when I voted for Obama today–the election workers were like what’s wrong–cause I as black man never thought I’d live to see this day. Sorry no snark is available from me but feel free to carry on babies!
…don’t worry everyone Axel Foley is on the case!
AngryBlakGuy: And damn I’m gonna nominate you for an f’in Nobel Prize for your role in all this ABG!
AngryBlakGuy: …or Ashley Todd
AngryBlakGuy: On a more practical and somber note: Why do all your comments begin with an ellipsis?
No Denny Terrio in this story? BOOOO!!!!
I just love that Joe Piscopo!
Monkey: …the “ellipsis” signify me rousing from a alcohol induced stupor to add my 2 cents to any conversation. Now someone please make the room stop spinning.
NoWireHangers: I was thinking of “Boogie In Your Butt”.
Put the ballot, in your butt and so forth.
Also, apparently some fucking morons out there are running around polling places with plungers in honor of some Joe guy who is not, in fact, a plummer: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/politics&id=6486676&rss=rss-ktrk-article-6486676
The Station Manager: Probably the last thing in the world I’d accept from a Republican would be a toilet plunger he pulled out of the trunk of his car and handed to me.
…”Pope-Mobiles” are so passe, we need to get him something like a Gundam or Battle-Mech or maybe even a AT-AT Walker?! If anyone needs me I will be in my mothers basement playing WoW, IM me if you need me.
mattbolt: I agree. In fact, I wonder why more secret service guys aren’t gigantic black men. You’d think that a giant man would be a much better bullet shield than the regular sized dudes they have on guard.
Ah, back when Eddie Murphy was funny. One of the advantages of having an insane white guy as President.
Serolf Divad:
You want to feel old, last weekend Joe Piscopo was Fox, and he looks like he should be on the beech in Florida with a metal detector. And then he started talking about his grown children….
See - and people tried to hint things about Barry’s sexuality because he is always at the gym with his BFF. I think this proves he’s not gay, he just likes butt-sex in the sauna. Wait, wha-?
The red suit stands the test of time much better than the purple one from “Raw.”
Gob: Word.
well don’t ant to get all sentimental and stuff but:
Rosa Parks sat, so Martin Luther King Jr. could march, so Barack Obama can run, so our children can fly.
Dave J.: I’m sure there’s some way to have them locked up for sexual harassment or something.
FreshCliches: that’s all right, there’s still “Chocolate City” by Parliament.
‘Cause I love you, C.C.
The Station Manager: that was rich! and of course river oaks is where all teh rich peoples in houston live! notice that every fucking car in that piece was a monster SUV??? driving in houston in a smallish car is taking your life into your own hands!
one of the right wing radio talk show comedians (they’ve all morphed together so i don’t remember which one right now) is trying to drum up support for a million plumber march on washington. i can’t wait — a million butt cracks showing all together on the national mall!
denner: Where’s Michael Kors when ya need him?
Robbertjan: That’s a great line. No snark.
Is he wearing one of his balls on the outside of his pants?
JohnnyMeatworth: Go ahead - MAKE my funk the P-Funk!
yellowbug: Yeah, it was great the first time I heard it when Jay-Z said it.
“WHAT MORE CAN I SAY!”
yellowbug: and there is so much truth in it.
seriesoftubescleaner: it’s a Jay-Z line? hehe, I just heard it on CNN said by a afro-american priest.
Jay-Z FTW!
fuckinredneck: Because they don’t want to get themselves killed for some white dude who doesn’t give a fuck about them? Oh, did I say that out loud? Yes. Yes, I did.
AngryBlakGuy: Heh, AT-AT… but that may be too “dark side”… I think Hopey would look good in an X-Wing or landspeeder myselfs…
serj!:
“May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young.”
And may this long held wish come true …
greatgooglymoogly: word bitch–oh and no offense intended
Eddie Murphy has some seriously small feet… we all know what that means.