terrible lies

University Provost’s E-mail Hacked, Tells Students That Election Has Been Delayed

OK, college kids, we know that you immediately will believe anything that a dumb Internet message tells you, but this e-mail from George Mason University’s “Provost” is, in fact, a hoax sent by racist hackers trying to stop the black guy from winning Virginia. So go out and vote as planned, it won’t take long, and then you can continue to play your Britney Spears Xbox games on the Wii.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin

    I was fooled. It seemed so natural that the provost of Geroge Mason Univeristy would personally apologize for delaying an election.

  2. LittlePig

    Dang, that old chestnut again? I’m surprised anybody in the Geritol set can work the Innertubes.

  3. blader

    I’m impressed.

    The fuckers dragged a $100 bill through a trailer park, and not only found Palin with it, but also apparently someone possessing rudimentary haxing skills.

  4. NoWireHangers

    The same cunts that say they love America work tirelessly to suppress the vote. How I hates them! Vengeance will be ours, Wingnuts!

  5. The Station Manager

    Trying to get Teh Blacks to vote late? Shocking!

    In other news, the sun rose in the East today, the cholesterol in eggs is good/bad for you, and it turns out the KKK has a problem with Jews.

  6. Spackle Camshaft Palin

    Anyone else see that thing from drudge about black panthers intimidating voters in Philly?

  7. jbd

    Oh, come on. That’s at least four kinds of awesome to every three kinds of batshit racist. Violations of computer systems by/from/at universities is classic americana by this point.

  8. american mutt

    [re=163542]Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin[/re]: If students believed that tripe, then they’ve been teaching horribly stupid kids.

  9. AfghanVet

    Well, it is a misdemeanor offense if they get caught…plus hacking charges. Hope it’s worth it.

  10. magic titty

    I’m crashing fast, people. Going to need an Obama comfort team. Bring Drake’s coffee cakes and Sunkist, please. I can’t tolerate the next 8 hours of my life without both of these.

  11. Dave J.

    Wasn’t this kind of sneaky attack only marginally clever back in 1996 or whatever?

    Also, who wants to bet it takes like 10x as long to catch the guy(s) who did this as it did to catch the guy who “hacked” Sarah Palin’s yahoo email account?

  12. Skip2theEnd

    [re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Yep! It’s the lead story over at FauxNews. The Black Panthers are intimidating people who have to fill out their ballots all bent over in church pews. This election is rigged! Do over!

  13. intellijen

    i dunno.. do we really want retards who fall for this crap to have a say in the future of our country anyway? i mean.. really? a little bit of natural selection never hurt anyone.

  14. Monkey

    [re=163591]magic titty[/re]: No way, Titty! Devil Dogs and Sunny-D (fer mixin’ with the Smirnoff)

  15. Panderfinder

    I have a Mason faculty account, and the bogus email was gone by the time I was
    logged in; instead, there was a legitimate email from the provost’s office.
    Mason has pretty good spam defense.

  16. Viva la Cynthia

    [re=163590]jamietre[/re]: Sounds like someone needs to turn on the Mail Goggles in Gmail Labs.

  17. Godot

    This might have worked better if the 2008 election had not been the most highly publicized event of the decade.

    I’m just sayin’.

  18. Theta

    Boy, I really hope that the University fired off a “guys, we got spoofed, Jesus go vote” message.

    In other news, anybody actually willing to go to Stormfront and see how they’re shitting themselves with fear?

  19. Spackle Camshaft Palin

    [re=163613]magic titty[/re]: Yeah, I figured. Seriously, though: I AM ON EDGE TODAY.

  20. problemwithcaring

    [re=163574]The Station Manager[/re]: Yes, I like the fact that its two Black Panthers single-handedly stopping all voting in that precinct. Srsly, this bad-theater passed as “scary” in the ’60’s?

  21. Schadenfried

    [re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Hmm, I didn’t see any Panthers this morning.

    Must have been Alan Keyes in blackface trying to intimidate voters.

  22. Constitutional Riots

    [re=163607]intellijen[/re]: Well, obviously John McCain believed this crap since he’s still campaigning in Grand Junction, CO. Oh yeah, and he’s still kissing Joe the Jew’s ass. He’s bragging on his old old mother who’s tottering around the stage like John did during the town hall debate. It’s quite pathetic that he’s still doing this dog and pony show about how the “Mac is back!!” The more patriotic words he let’s rip lead me to believe that he is guilty of idolatry…ya know how you’re not supposed to worship anything or anyone before God? “America” is McCain’s golden calf. Blah blah blah…he won’t shut up with the same stupid false rhetoric. NO, not the “Drill Baby Drill!!!” If he wipes his nose ONE MORE TIME with his elbow, gross.

  23. National Turkey

    Wait, I thought it was K-12 where you learned how to fall in line behind the teacher, and college was all about…what is it again…thinking for yourself?

  24. AngryBlakGuy

    …as a FAMU alumni I can officially vouch for the lack of intelligence of GMU students. So yes they would fall for it!

  25. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=163674]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I teach these GMU students. Yeah, some of them did fall for it.

  26. LittlePinky82

    LOL I love how they think us college kids are just so stupid. Oh and there are all types of ages in college too. Not just us young adults. I’ve had classes with people who have teenage kids. Doy.

  27. jagorev

    [re=163606]Gopherit[/re]: yeah, I bet the poor IT guys will get blamed for the Provost setting “password” as his email password.

  28. answerbird

    Pretty stupid phishing. No college student going to read e-mail from their provost. I am sure that they have their spam filters set so the e-mail goes right into their junk mail folder. It should have had the Subject line: Nude pictures of Britney Spears, that would have got them to read it.

  29. Merry Christen

    oh god, please, I know we have had our arguments, but PLEASE LET THE NICE BLACK MAN WIN THE PREZNITCY, PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE. Now I lay me down to drink bourbon and diet pepsi and eat pretzels in a feverish bezerker rage until I pass out, my face glued to the tv and election results with my own snot and tears; and when I wake up suddenly, my face blotchy and red, I will pull bong hits in Your Holy Name and celebrate four upcoming years of Hopey and Non-suckitude. Please oh please, AMen.

  30. NoWireHangers

    [re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Yes, the Black Panthers, the face of Black America that hasn’t been relevant since 1970. Hey Matt Drudge, I hear Barack once whistled at a white lady.

    Stupid fucking Wingnuts. I’m praying they so upset that they leave the country/off themselves come Wednesday.

  31. masterdebater

    Wait, people can lie on the intertubes? I always thought it was like the newspaper days where they couldn’t print anything that wasn’t true. this is getting very confusing. Soon we will only be able to believe what we see on TV

  32. Schadenfried

    [re=163717]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s up at Gawker, with Fox News and the footage from the UPenn student’s camera phone*

    *UPenn student is the Biggest. Manpussy. Ever.

  33. spooty

    The GMU email headers indicate/pretend that the message was routed through democracyinaction.org. Somebody has a sense of humor?

  34. anonymousryan

    I got this email in my university account:

    Dear Students,

    A number of University of Florida students have reported receiving a text
    message today claiming that voting has been extended until Wednesday. This
    message is NOT legitimate and it should be ignored.

    Silly college kids.

  35. DangerousLiberal

    [re=163718]S.Luggo[/re]: Two of the motherfuckers? That’s a lot scarier than one “maybe alive, maybe not” tiger. I am less afraid of all the Black Panthers than I am of three Joe the Plumbers. At least the Panthers know how to read.

  36. DangerousLiberal

    I think my last post sounded awfully racist–did it? I didn’t mean it–I meant something like (1) cool! and (2) the Black Panthers Still Exist? and (3) it rocks that our team has someone watching out for our voters this time.

    Sorry…when I bring the snark–or try to–it makes me feel all dirty, and then I think I am gonna jinx the election.

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