TERRIBLE LIES  2:14 pm November 4, 2008

University Provost’s E-mail Hacked, Tells Students That Election Has Been Delayed

by Jim Newell

OK, college kids, we know that you immediately will believe anything that a dumb Internet message tells you, but this e-mail from George Mason University’s “Provost” is, in fact, a hoax sent by racist hackers trying to stop the black guy from winning Virginia. So go out and vote as planned, it won’t take long, and then you can continue to play your Britney Spears Xbox games on the Wii.

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Hola wonkerados.

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TGY November 4, 2008 at 2:16 pm


Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin November 4, 2008 at 2:17 pm

I was fooled. It seemed so natural that the provost of Geroge Mason Univeristy would personally apologize for delaying an election.

LittlePig November 4, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Dang, that old chestnut again? I’m surprised anybody in the Geritol set can work the Innertubes.

blader November 4, 2008 at 2:19 pm

I’m impressed.

The fuckers dragged a $100 bill through a trailer park, and not only found Palin with it, but also apparently someone possessing rudimentary haxing skills.

shortsshortsshorts November 4, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Fuckin’ assholes.
The end.

NoWireHangers November 4, 2008 at 2:21 pm

The same cunts that say they love America work tirelessly to suppress the vote. How I hates them! Vengeance will be ours, Wingnuts!

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Meh. I want to see the emails from both Liberty and Bob Jones “University”.

Dave J. November 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm

|\/|cC41N 15 +e|-| l33t |-|4x0rz!1!

SelfDeprecatingFed November 4, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Why does the Provost of GMU hate America?

The Station Manager November 4, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Trying to get Teh Blacks to vote late? Shocking!

In other news, the sun rose in the East today, the cholesterol in eggs is good/bad for you, and it turns out the KKK has a problem with Jews.

Spackle Camshaft Palin November 4, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Anyone else see that thing from drudge about black panthers intimidating voters in Philly?

jbd November 4, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Oh, come on. That’s at least four kinds of awesome to every three kinds of batshit racist. Violations of computer systems by/from/at universities is classic americana by this point.

american mutt November 4, 2008 at 2:27 pm

[re=163542]Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin[/re]: If students believed that tripe, then they’ve been teaching horribly stupid kids.

AfghanVet November 4, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Well, it is a misdemeanor offense if they get caught…plus hacking charges. Hope it’s worth it.

GreatLakesNation November 4, 2008 at 2:28 pm

whatever…voting is SO lame. So holla at your boy tomorrow.

dano November 4, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Here’s a funny link. In Philly Foxnews is reporting voters are being intimidated by the Black Panther party. Follow the link and watch the scary black people.


AlexTrebeksGirl November 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm
jamietre November 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm

It’s real. Look at the 1:16 AM time stamp, the provost was just drunk emailing again.

magic titty November 4, 2008 at 2:30 pm

I’m crashing fast, people. Going to need an Obama comfort team. Bring Drake’s coffee cakes and Sunkist, please. I can’t tolerate the next 8 hours of my life without both of these.

larz November 4, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Why didn’t they cancel finals too?

donotronix November 4, 2008 at 2:30 pm


Dave J. November 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm

Wasn’t this kind of sneaky attack only marginally clever back in 1996 or whatever?

Also, who wants to bet it takes like 10x as long to catch the guy(s) who did this as it did to catch the guy who “hacked” Sarah Palin’s yahoo email account?

Skip2theEnd November 4, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Yep! It’s the lead story over at FauxNews. The Black Panthers are intimidating people who have to fill out their ballots all bent over in church pews. This election is rigged! Do over!

Gopherit November 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm

On the bright side, there are probably some IT openings at GMU.

intellijen November 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm

i dunno.. do we really want retards who fall for this crap to have a say in the future of our country anyway? i mean.. really? a little bit of natural selection never hurt anyone.

Viva la Cynthia November 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Country first, not the voters!

Monkey November 4, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=163591]magic titty[/re]: No way, Titty! Devil Dogs and Sunny-D (fer mixin’ with the Smirnoff)

Panderfinder November 4, 2008 at 2:34 pm

I have a Mason faculty account, and the bogus email was gone by the time I was
logged in; instead, there was a legitimate email from the provost’s office.
Mason has pretty good spam defense.

magic titty November 4, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Yeah. More Drudge bullshit. Yawn.

Hamster November 4, 2008 at 2:35 pm

His password was “Wasilla High”, which may or may not be related to meth.

Viva la Cynthia November 4, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=163590]jamietre[/re]: Sounds like someone needs to turn on the Mail Goggles in Gmail Labs.

Godot November 4, 2008 at 2:36 pm

This might have worked better if the 2008 election had not been the most highly publicized event of the decade.

I’m just sayin’.

Theta November 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Boy, I really hope that the University fired off a “guys, we got spoofed, Jesus go vote” message.

In other news, anybody actually willing to go to Stormfront and see how they’re shitting themselves with fear?

WeDeserveThisFate November 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Today we are all black panthers.
Roar! Also.

Spackle Camshaft Palin November 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=163613]magic titty[/re]: Yeah, I figured. Seriously, though: I AM ON EDGE TODAY.

problemwithcaring November 4, 2008 at 2:41 pm

[re=163574]The Station Manager[/re]: Yes, I like the fact that its two Black Panthers single-handedly stopping all voting in that precinct. Srsly, this bad-theater passed as “scary” in the ’60′s?

bago November 4, 2008 at 2:42 pm

SMTP isn’t exactly secure.

Schadenfried November 4, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Hmm, I didn’t see any Panthers this morning.

Must have been Alan Keyes in blackface trying to intimidate voters.

Constitutional Riots November 4, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=163607]intellijen[/re]: Well, obviously John McCain believed this crap since he’s still campaigning in Grand Junction, CO. Oh yeah, and he’s still kissing Joe the Jew’s ass. He’s bragging on his old old mother who’s tottering around the stage like John did during the town hall debate. It’s quite pathetic that he’s still doing this dog and pony show about how the “Mac is back!!” The more patriotic words he let’s rip lead me to believe that he is guilty of idolatry…ya know how you’re not supposed to worship anything or anyone before God? “America” is McCain’s golden calf. Blah blah blah…he won’t shut up with the same stupid false rhetoric. NO, not the “Drill Baby Drill!!!” If he wipes his nose ONE MORE TIME with his elbow, gross.

National Turkey November 4, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Wait, I thought it was K-12 where you learned how to fall in line behind the teacher, and college was all about…what is it again…thinking for yourself?

AngryBlakGuy November 4, 2008 at 2:48 pm

…as a FAMU alumni I can officially vouch for the lack of intelligence of GMU students. So yes they would fall for it!

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=163594]donotronix[/re]: Do you mahnnd iff we dance wiff you dates?

ForTheTurnstiles November 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm

[re=163674]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I teach these GMU students. Yeah, some of them did fall for it.

LittlePinky82 November 4, 2008 at 2:53 pm

LOL I love how they think us college kids are just so stupid. Oh and there are all types of ages in college too. Not just us young adults. I’ve had classes with people who have teenage kids. Doy.

S.Luggo November 4, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=163583]dano[/re]: The revolution will be televised.

jagorev November 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

[re=163606]Gopherit[/re]: yeah, I bet the poor IT guys will get blamed for the Provost setting “password” as his email password.

answerbird November 4, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Pretty stupid phishing. No college student going to read e-mail from their provost. I am sure that they have their spam filters set so the e-mail goes right into their junk mail folder. It should have had the Subject line: Nude pictures of Britney Spears, that would have got them to read it.

Merry Christen November 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

oh god, please, I know we have had our arguments, but PLEASE LET THE NICE BLACK MAN WIN THE PREZNITCY, PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE. Now I lay me down to drink bourbon and diet pepsi and eat pretzels in a feverish bezerker rage until I pass out, my face glued to the tv and election results with my own snot and tears; and when I wake up suddenly, my face blotchy and red, I will pull bong hits in Your Holy Name and celebrate four upcoming years of Hopey and Non-suckitude. Please oh please, AMen.

Constitutional Riots November 4, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=163597]Dave J.[/re]: I’m sure the hacker is from Tennessee.

NoWireHangers November 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=163575]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Yes, the Black Panthers, the face of Black America that hasn’t been relevant since 1970. Hey Matt Drudge, I hear Barack once whistled at a white lady.

Stupid fucking Wingnuts. I’m praying they so upset that they leave the country/off themselves come Wednesday.

S.Luggo November 4, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=163649]problemwithcaring[/re]: The diatribe gets better:
“Confirmed reports have just been released detailing that two Black Panthers have been guarding entranceways into polling places in Philadelphia.” http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977497626

Reports? Entranceways? Polling places? Those two guys are good. Can I join? My sister will lend me her white beret.

masterdebater November 4, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Wait, people can lie on the intertubes? I always thought it was like the newspaper days where they couldn’t print anything that wasn’t true. this is getting very confusing. Soon we will only be able to believe what we see on TV

Schadenfried November 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=163717]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s up at Gawker, with Fox News and the footage from the UPenn student’s camera phone*

*UPenn student is the Biggest. Manpussy. Ever.

slackey November 4, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I hate to do it, but as a programmer I have to point out that this is email spoofing, and it is in no way considered “hacking”. It’s simply a matter of sending an email with a different persons name on it. For example, I can send an email from my own machine that appears to have come from president@whitehouse.gov without actually “hacking” anything.


spooty November 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm

The GMU email headers indicate/pretend that the message was routed through democracyinaction.org. Somebody has a sense of humor?

anonymousryan November 4, 2008 at 5:40 pm

I got this email in my university account:

Dear Students,

A number of University of Florida students have reported receiving a text
message today claiming that voting has been extended until Wednesday. This
message is NOT legitimate and it should be ignored.

Silly college kids.

DangerousLiberal November 4, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=163718]S.Luggo[/re]: Two of the motherfuckers? That’s a lot scarier than one “maybe alive, maybe not” tiger. I am less afraid of all the Black Panthers than I am of three Joe the Plumbers. At least the Panthers know how to read.

DangerousLiberal November 4, 2008 at 5:59 pm

I think my last post sounded awfully racist–did it? I didn’t mean it–I meant something like (1) cool! and (2) the Black Panthers Still Exist? and (3) it rocks that our team has someone watching out for our voters this time.

Sorry…when I bring the snark–or try to–it makes me feel all dirty, and then I think I am gonna jinx the election.

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