Wonkette
Hark, what arriveth in our inboxes? It doth verily appear to be a “peggy noonan” Google Alert! What pleasures cometh our way on this Holy Day of Eleckt. We all remember that fateful day in 2006 when Peggy Noonan first chanced upon a Mexican — how her quill flowed, then! — but now Ms. Noonan has broken another barrier: speaking with a Mexican. And not just any Mexican, either: Kathryn Jean “K-Lo” Lopez, the former office secretary of National Review! What results is a tempestuous sojourn into the black heart of the American bizarre.
K-Lo — who, btw, No Longer Reads Wonkette after her illiteracy acted up as she was reading this post, in which we offered sympathy to young Trig for the deeply vulgar way in which conservatives have used his basic birth & being as their own plastic prop to judge those who make different personal choices regarding their bodies, to conceal Palin’s glaring weaknesses as a candidate, and to be crassly strutted around in partisan garb for the sole reward of a few extra manipulated votes — asks Peggy a whole bunch of stupid, party-hack questions about how she MORALLY JUSTIFIES criticizing the Republican party with an election coming up.
Peggy does not care for this young Mexican’s questions and regularly seizes the opportunity to chide her, gently:
Lopez: There is no Bill Buckley or Ronald Reagan conservative running for president. But doesn’t McCain-Palin come closest?
Noonan: This question seems to me wrongheaded, or perhaps I mean not so realistic, in this sense. I said in a speech to Republicans down south about a year ago that if it were 1885, and Republicans were sitting around saying, ‘When will another Lincoln come?’ and ‘Is this candidate Lincolnesque?’ you would sit in the back of the hall and think: These people are sad.
Ha ha. But the two become friends anew by the end, culminating in this epochal Noonanese moment of closure:
So these are your answers, my beloved Kathryn, and after heartsickness and even some leading questions, may we once again after the election once again go to Mass together, and have fun.
And the Fun willst be Good, aye.
Grace Will Lead Me Home? [National Review]
Me thinks thou doth Noonington too much.
“…go to Mass together and have fun.”
Sorry, does not compute for this recovering mackerel snapper.
…Peggy Noonan gives me a headache behind my right eye.
non-story
1)who gives a shit
and
2)who gives a shit
as for peg and k-lo
piss off cunty(ies)
So these are your answers, my beloved Kathryn, and after heartsickness and even some leading questions, may we once again after the election once again go to Mass together, and have fun.
Jesus, she makes it sound like they’re going to break into the sacramental wine and have wild lesbian sex on the altar. I might even consider going back to church for that.
Aye. And after Mass, and the goodness of the Lord that ensueth, Peggy will asketh of Kathy:
“Kathy, my good and lovely Kathy, willst thou go and whippeth up a batch of the food you people doth eateth? Nachos, chimichangas, doritos and other such exotic treats. And the nectar that floweth from those large receptacles with umbrellas uponeth?”
How straight-up weird. Who pays these overrated hostesses?
“Forgive us, Father, for we have sinned. In fact, we are sinning this very moment, right here in the confessional booth. Could you give us another minute or two to finish up?”
I known in the larger picture that it doesn’t matter…but damn! That woman is scary looking.
She should join JAA (Jane Austen Anonymous), because her addiction is really starting to affect her work.
It was nice of Kathy to step away and separate from her own intense self-loathing for a moment, even if just to speak with a delusional plutocrat.
There will much weeping into tea cozies and gnashing of Hopey bits sprinkled in the flan.
My eyes actually crossed while reading this.
Why is it that Conservatives get so into Lesbian porn? Well, that and bears.
Test
Where is our drinking game for 2nitez!?!?
We all just had a nooner, together.
monty: And now you are a non-commenter!
JSDC007: And K-lo eats ALOT of Doritos, doth knows this.
AngryBlakGuy: You’re sure that’s not the blingee?
Gopherit: break into the sacramental wine and have wild lesbian sex on the altar You’re totally giving me a Guided By Voices moment. Hot Freaks! HOT FREAKS!
gopherit: Thanks for implanting that image in my mind. I hope you have to witness a Bush Cabinet reenactment of the Lemon Party.
Before the age we live in is over we will all live through a great crisis, a 9/11 times ten, or more, and we must know this, and act accordingly.
Ah, Miss Noonington, I am not only certain that this will happen but that we shall all refer to it as “9/11×10″ and that we shall overcome the Terror with nothing more than Patriotic Grace…
Mahousu: Hahaha… win!
“I said in a speech to Republicans down south about a year ago that if it were 1885, and Republicans were sitting around saying, ‘When will another Lincoln come?’ and ‘Is this candidate Lincolnesque?’ you would sit in the back of the hall and think: These people are sad.
Dearest Pegs, that is exactly what happened.
I shall once again say, “It’s OVER,” once again, and laugh and laugh, and once again laugh once again.
I just went to my healthcare providor’s website to check on the progress of a claim. Th home page included a little blurb to visit a http://www.communityvitality.com/ which has ‘Magic’ Johnson as a spokesperson. They’re kidding aren’t they?
Lopez is gay. I smell it. My gaydar breaks whenever you link us to her.
Gopherit: Me too…but only if I can hand them the Crucifix.
Well, while I care not a wit what she thinks, I am impressed with her ability to bitch-slap her friend with the steely edge of her own cognitive dissonance.
I swear, for some of these wingers it must be earth shattering to see some of their luminaries break bad on them with some facts and actual critical thought. Kind of like the Chapelle Show when the Black White Supremist takes off his hood. Or, as we say, they are completely befuckled.
grundle burrito: Here’s the game: Every time they call a state you drink the number of electoral votes awarded and masturbate for the same number of minutes.
Oh, the Noonanity!
…may we once again after the election once again go to Mass together, and have fun.
That’s it. I’m becoming a Lutheran.
Ha ha, I love me some Peggy Noonan. She’s apparently pro-drugs, or definitely pro-booze (lots and lots of booze), and kind of pro-Hopey, which is good enough for me. That independent streak is oddly charming.
As for K-Lo, it’s hardly any wonder that she’s so anti-choice, anti-sex, and anti-hope. People who don’t get fucked like to whine about people who do (see also Rush Limbaugh, suicide bombers, Ted Kozinski, Catholicism, annoying PTA moms, etc.). The world would be a better place if conservatives weren’t so ridiculously unfuckable.
johnbpt: a newburyport mackerel snapper too! wow, you must know dickie kaplan!
AlexTrebeksGirl: Haha yeah! She jes’ pegged her some Noonan!
lenorecutie: LOL, verily.
It did sound like one of those fulsome Victorian crypto-erotic thingies…or Eleanor Rooevlet writing to her girlfriend.
I’m never NOT going to laugh at the line “chanced upon a Mexican”.
That’s something you hardly ever see anymore — a true clash of neo-Edwardian biddies. This is precious:
Lopez: What is conservatism?
Noonan:…I tend to see it, to experience it, as a way of being, a way of understanding the world and responding to it. I cannot help but think that knowing there is a God is the start of all conservatism. (Apologies to agnostic friends who are various kinds and flavors of conservative.) Once you know that you know something big. From there you go on to knowing man. “If men were angels . . . ” They are not, so you don’t want to give them too much governmental power….I think of ideology as some abstract thing dreamed up by intellectuals and squished down on the heads of human beings — “You will conform your actions to my ideological assumptions and expectations!” I see philosophy as something that rises up from human beings who observe and live with human beings. Conservatism is not an ideology. That’s the last thing it is.
Especially after that definition.
Kev-O-Tron: There aren’t enough electoral votes for and average night.
What is this Patriotic Grace you write about K-Lo? Did you author the Jesus for Dummies/US edition???
Strappo: Roosevelt. Sorry all, lysdexic fingers.
I used to want to tag Peggy Noonan. Now, not so much.
Actually Jim, she was reacting to this Wonkette post:
http://wonkette.com/404013/hey-kids-check-out-lil-trigger-in-his-elephant-costume
The post you linked to was in the quote within that post.
SayItWithWookies: “Conservatism, in sum, is a hodgepodge of delusional horsehit..”
Canmon (the Inadequate): Oh shoot I was quickly copying links, thank you.
Lopez fails for not conducting the interview in Latin.
By the way, I saw Kissinger at the polls. Wonder…did he really vote for Mac & Pale?
Indeed, Peggy. These people *are* sad.
“…if it were 1885, and Republicans were sitting around saying, ‘When will another Lincoln come?’ and ‘Is this candidate Lincolnesque?’ you would sit in the back of the hall and think: These people are sad.”
Does this same observation apply to sad Republicans who sit around saying this about Regan, because that exactly what they do every freaking election. And isn’t Noonan one of the biggest purveyors of this attitude?!?!?
So they’re planning to go eat Jesus together….again. Ewwwwww.
Pegatha, dearest Pegatha! T’was High Noonan at the Lopez cantina, no doubt. But the question is not whither thou Reaganesque (or Lincolnesque) savior there art? Nay, the rump Republican party left after this calamitous debacle might well consist of nothing more than neo-cons, racists, fundies and square-state bitters in search of…..Godot? Or fashion upon thee another anology, if thou wilst. Methinks upon the lone Japanese soldier fighting it out in the jungles and caves of Okinawa well into the 1960’s for a more apt comparison.
The Democrats will win this year because they shook off their Roosevelt/Kennedy/Clinton backward glance and stopped being the Party of Remember When and became the party of the Here and Now. You can’t win elections on nostalgia when people’s savings are getting wiped out in a single week. Reagan is dead, Long Live Obama!
The duchess doth descendeth the ramparts to mingle with the vassals and verily bring forth reflections of her own goodness and worth, drawing wise Aristotelian self-reflections in the mire and raising pearls of… WTF? Beloved Kathryn the Secretary, Bill Buckley’s personal Mexican? Go to Mass and giggle in the pews? I ask again for the record: WTF? The WSJ should consider that Family Circle fits nicely in the space that Noonan’s columns take up. Just a thought. And I was beginning to have some small measure of hope for her–thought I might be witnessing a post-menopausal conversion. I knew a girl in HS like Noonan. She used to write all her I’s in lower case and scrawled imitation Wasteland poetry. I was impressed, then smitten, then dryhumped and rejected. That’s sorta how Noonan affects me. just thought I’d share.
Connected to that, I think perhaps you know something of my background? I am from a working-class family that knew all the problems the working class knows — a general lack of stability, etc. It was a hard place. My family were Democrats, as those who are not secure in this world often were and often are. . . . in all my experience, from young womanhood through now, personal and professional, I have always lived somewhat against the grain, and never in an intellectual ghetto where we all agree and see the world the same.
Oh Queen Peggeth, milady, thou hast suffered so. I ache for you, lovely lady, oh gentlest one. Speak on, dear heart, speak on. Your words are like balm to my heart. Your loveliness and gentility a fresh breeze upon this crude and rough world. Thou art grandest of all. Thou dost know it too well. And for this, my queen, I despise thee with every fiber of my being.
haha…sully bear is officially “out there” according to klo…along with yall! grats!
Noonan finally found a Mexican to “hearten” with. Tis a glorious day indeed!
AgentSparks: To most conservatives, “heartening” with Mexicans means harvesting their vital organs.
OPERATION: REACTIONARY QUARANTINE commence NOW!
for some reason, I actually used to think that Karthryn Lopez was pretty smart. Thank you, K-Lo, for teaching me how wrong I was with your startlingly naive and retarded questions. I won’t make the same mistake again.
jim and peggy sitting in a tree …
Gopherit: Noonan and Lopez having sacremental wine fueled lesbian sex on a church alter would just further my opinion that there’s nothing for me in organized houses of worship.
Plus… EWWWWW
Jim Newell: Hear, hear!
The ‘never-classy’ Wonkette, K-Lo? (sigh.) …just one more person missing the sarcasm chunk of her brain.
Snow: You had hit your head on the corner of the coffee table REALLY HARD?
Haha, Jim got stuck with the Noonan recap.
Too confusing, didn’t read, viz.
the easier, slower, more humanly textured, even to some degree more affectionate Washington
It’s good to know that Peggy is in the tank as a marijuana user.
PoliTacky:
Well it’s not like K-Lo and class go together. She’s just bitchy because we’re more classless than she is.
i’m sick of peggy noonan, and rush, and hannity, and all of those right wing pundits on msnbc, cnn and of course fox. i’m sick and tired of the the ass holes on “morning joe,” reminicing about the good old days of ronald reagan. hopefully, pat buchanan will retire soon, as well as his dumb ugly sister.
no more awful politicians such as tom delay, or that other dumb shit, newt! he wants to run for prez in 2012; i dare him!!!
this election means so much to so many people, on so many different levels; but mostly it’s an end of an era of the loud mouth, do nothings who have inhabited our space and taken up so much of our precious time. on the airwaves and in the press, and most importantly in our government, where they’ve screwed things up so much we may never, ever recover!
Who the fuck has fun at Mass? What kind of sick, twisted, secularist bullshit is that??
Didn’t those radio hosts get fired a few years back for doing that sort of thing?
I always feel vaguely nauseated after reading Miss Noonington, as if I had perchance stumbled into Miss Havisham’s parlor and drawn too deep a breath… alas! ’tis only this day, methinks, i doth know, nay, verily know, how “precious” — in ev’ry negative sense of said adjective– her quilled scribbles be.
Now where’s that damn Winston with the highball?
Reminds me of a joke I once heard:
Body of Christ - with or without nuts.
Rutherford B. Hayes (that 1885 candidate) was about as un-Lincolnesque as you could get. Maybe instead of sitting in the back of the hall and thinking “these people are sad,” Ms. Noonan, you could have stood up and said something. But you didn’t, and we got stuck with Jim Crow laws. Thanks for nothing, Republican Party!
Jim Newell: Actually, I think it was her fault for linking to the wrong one.
“K-Lo — who, btw, No Longer Reads Wonkette” I have this vision of a tiny, sweaty yet attractive woman shaking her fist at the sky shouting “As God is my witness, I’ll NEVER READ WONKETTE AGAIN!!”
PsycGirl: No one has ever, ever, ever accused K-Lo of being tiny and attractive. Search Google images at your risk.
Vewol Mevemont: You’ve got your causal chain reversed - they are conservative precisely because they are utterly unfuckable. And as long as there are unfuckable people in this universe, we will also have conservatism. Thus, like cockroaches is the unwanted byproduct of civilisation, conservatism is the gross side effect of, well, human existence. Make sure to carry a rolled-up newspaper, and you’ll be safe from both roaches and conservatives, though.
Vewol Mevemont: I stand very very corrected (having searched Google images). Except for the sweaty part.
Vewol Mevemont: DEAR GOD! The ’search at your own risk disclaimer’ was not strong enough.
Wow. You’d find more dignity and lucid analysis in a transcription of Yogi and Booboo dialogue.
No kidding. At first I thought “Hervé Villechaize does drag?”. But then, he’s been dead for about 15 years (and probably still looks better than she ever could). Something must be wrong - I thought all conservative female righties (Reactionatrixes?) were supposed to be blonde, ex-weathercaster types with long legs and stilleto heels. This one looks like it was dug up under a mushroom.