Wonkette
The jury deliberating over Ted Stevens’ corruption trial consisted exclusively of angry cat ladies and addled kooks, one of whom was so disruptive she almost caused a mistrial. But then there was this OTHER juror, Juror No. 4, who ALSO messed things up by disappearing, mysteriously, to “go to her father’s funeral in California” over the weekend and never turned up again. (She was replaced at the last minute and bam, the alternate and the old jurors quickly reached a verdict.) But HMMMM has anyone ever been to a funeral on a racetrack where they race horses, for sport and money?
This gal, Marian Hinnant, apparently does not have a dead dad. She just had a jones to go to the Breeders’ Cup at the Santa Anita racetrack. Also? This woman is clearly out of her mind.
Her lawyer, federal public defender A.J. Kramer, tried to keep her from saying much in court, telling the judge only that “her state of mind was such that she had to go to California.”
“She apologizes to the court. In fact, her father did not die,” Kramer said. “The story about her father was just one that popped into her head.”
Hinnant cut in, however, and in a thick drawl gave a rambling, incoherent and baffling monologue about her former employers in the horse-racing industry in Kentucky. She mentioned drugs, wiretaps and horse racing, but it was impossible to tell what connected them.
“I’m not the one who was selling the drugs; I’m not the one who was doing the drugs,” she said, a comment that left the courtroom baffled.
Wow! So that is how the “jury selection process” works in DC: you find a human who kind of speaks English, confirm that they were not the ones doing or selling the drugs for the wiretapped horses, and then you let them fuck off to wherever because why not, there are more kooks where that one came from.
Stevens juror admits lying about funeral [Anchorage Daily News]
Breeders’ Cup? Isn’t that some kind of Mormon potato-sack race thing?
Bork bork bork!
Paultard.
It’s a jury of your peers — as long as your peers consist entirely of idiots incapable or too insane to think of good excuses (although they sometimes have bad excuses, like Mr. Hinnant).
Ha ha ha. Of course in DC 9 out of 10 people are smoking crack for breakfast, so you take what you can get. She probably thought she was on trial and only realized she was a juror when she couldn’t find any crack and sobered up out in cali.
Funeral at a racetrack? — that’s been done, see the Wiki entry for Barbaro
That’s bigoted against gay race horses.
Vewol Mevemont: That seems about right… wasn’t Stevens’ excuse that his wife was the one who didn’t pay?
NoWireHangers: It’s an actual cup, but if your teenage daughter drinks from it she immediately becomes impregnated with the seed of a Fuckin’ Redneck.
That’s just bizarre. I’m not talking about the juror’s story, I mean the two consecutive umlauts in Köök.
The horses at Santa Anita aren’t trucks….
grendel: PNP horse seeks open minded donkey. Mules okay too.
Hey, sometimes people need a little action. Even semi-retarded simpleton who isn’t even smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Also, she’s got a crack lawyer on her side. ‘That is just one of the things that popped into her head’. Priceless. I mean, is he going for an insanity plea?
I know a guy whose dad died at a race track in California, but I don’t think they had the service at the track. Does that count?
…geez, they make a special kind of crazy up there in Alaska don’t they?
AngryBlakGuy: The trial was in DC, but technically, you’re still correct.
See. THIS is why people hate on the MSM. At no point did we hear how Marian’s horse did. Fuckin’ eleetz.
NoWireHangers: Well, it is our national championship.
A real maverick loves them the ponies
Look, Stevens was entitled to a jury of his peers. DC just takes that literally, is all.
What’s the big deal? She told the judge she had to go see her dead dad, went to the track, and put $200 on My Dead Dad to win. No lying involved.
She sounds like a perfect, Republican leaning juror. The Steven’s defense team must be pissed that she doesn’t have a bookie.
Of course, she could have cheated on her bookie, so she had to place her bet in person, which would make her an even more Republican leaning juror.
Carrie_Okie: Shit I know! I’ve had bad luck with the ponies, and I can use a tip about a winner.
I hate people very muchly.
But at what point did a large black guy carve a backwards B into her face?
faketree78: The only plea that might work.
Where does that leave those of us that were selling and doing the drugs?
I live in DC, and that story–and the jury–looks like something
dreamt up by THE ONION.
Coming up next on “Coast to Coast AM”, Juror Number 4 explains the connection between horse racing, drugs, wiretaps, alien implants and why you should invest in gold.
Hinnant, a petite woman who works as an Avis car rental agent at Union Station, was wearing her red Avis uniform Monday in court.
“We Try Harder” to fuck up trials of corrupt senators. Great advertisement for Avis. I wonder if she still has a job.
But HMMMM has anyone ever been to a funeral on a racetrack where they race horses, for sport and money?
Sure my uncle Luigio dad died several times a year so he could go to the track. We knew when he was going out for cigars we would have to drag his drunk ass home from the titie bar.
As an actual horse racing blogger (there are really quite a few of us!), I would like to point out I already did this yesterday; I’m betting Juror Number Four didn’t make as much money on the Breeders’ Cup as I did.
answerbird: I also know people who have been to racehorse funerals - you get a commemorative hat. Really! You should see the dead Seattle Slew one.
Clearly you guys are unfamiliar with the clause in the patriot act which requires all horses to be wiretapped. That way, they can be on the look out for terrorists in clever horse costumes, who are selling the drugs.
“her state of mind was such that she had to go to California.”
Wow, I just never knew I could use “state of mind” as an excuse…that’s awesome. I will now go tell my boss that my state of mind is such that I must go spend the rest of the day in a bar.
superfecta: I teach at a college. If you are an old person, you should be careful the last two weeks of the semester. I can’t believe how many grandparents die those weeks.
answerbird: I work at a university too. I agree, it’s amazing how often those grandparents (and random uncles) seem to die again and again around exam time.
And in DC the jurors are on duty for two weeks. She could have ended up back in the jury pool after all that. Oy.