Wonkette
Poor old John McCain can’t even win a stupid ice cream contest. Wonkette Operative David sends us this sad report: “Apparently, Baskin-Robbins has been holding a national Flavor Election, which is kind of like an election where only fat, diabetics can vote (Kinda like the real election?). Anywho, the not only did Obama’s Whirl of Change trounce The Straight Talk Crunch in national polls — ice cream is in the tank — but it seems like nobody is fucking eating McCain’s horrible Ice Cream. … Even the french vanilla with egg yolk got more love (yuk).”
Sounds too much like “Straight Talk Crotch”
At least McCain beat out Ralph Nader’s Hummus and Garlic Bits Ice Cream.
I would have voted for the Joe the Plum and Gravy flavour.
Eww, his ice cream looks like his face, all white and lumpy and melting
What about Ron Paul’s Flavor, Amereo Bitters with lots of Nuts and Zeppelin shaped bubblegum bits?
I can only assume that “Straight Talk Crunch” is filled with all manner of conflicting candy gimmicks, to the point that very little ice cream can be found, while “Whirl of Change” is a delightful blending of chocolate and vanilla.
I’ll have me some Paline Pick-on.
Man, I hope they don’t discontinue this campaign, I’ve developed a taste for Palanilla, y’know, the one with cubes of smoked elk meat. I hope they keep carrying it at the Gotcha Journalism Pizza Place.
Does chocolate count as an Obama vote?
That’s all I ever eat.
John McCain’s ice cream tastes like farts and Ben-Gay.
I have to only imagine that “Straight Talk Crunch” tastes like the tears of a thousand Bitters and Metamucil. Yuck.
This reminds me of several substance fueled mornings where the topic of discussion was the flavor of the screensaver. I say Raspberry Warp.
BarryHopey also is so great he made my blackberry finally login to Wonkette. I can now post “Truck Nutz” while riding around on the #27 bus (because the #65x is elitist, and has fewer hott sistas riding).
Do they still carry Hillary’s Heapin’ Quadruple Fudge Menopausal Munch? It was the only ice cream I’ve ever seen that had an entire stick of butter in it
Republicans prefer meat-flavored ice cream.
What, no Peanut Butter POW? No Antichrist Delight?
“Caramel ribbon, chocolate pieces, candy red states and crunchy mixed nuts swirled into white chocolate ice cream.”
White chocolate. White Chocolate. Has he no decency?
Apparently the secret ingredient, which adds the crunch, is moose chips. They’ve been proven to work better as fertilizer than ice cream flavoring.
I can hardly wait for the ad campaign. “A decadent tax on your taste buds bursting with a liberal dose of peanut and chocolate flavor - Obama’s Whirl of Change…once you lick Barack, you’ll never go back.”
Obama landslide in cofee, too: http://www.7-election.com/
Sussemilch: There are candy red states? Are they shaped like actual red states, because that would be pretty cool! Or are they all shaped like generic Wyoming rectangles
I never thought there would be a more poorly named icecream than “Shamu’s Happy Harbor Kool-Aid Punch Krunch.”
*sigh* I just want this tedious “voting” crap to be done with so we can focus on something interesting: the 2010 midterm elections.
um, what tha hey is up w/ that rollover???
Ewww, isn’t Straight Talk Crunch like 9 years old?
Jebediah:
Hmmmm extra blubber bits. One would think this would appeal to Palin’s Alaskan fans.
Meanwhile the Ron Paul Ripple — a combination of vanilla and cheetos with old socks wrung out into it — is dead last. However, the three people who do eat it are convinced it’s the national favorite.
Jebediah: That sounds like something involving mass whale suicide
Oh, and love the Wallace Stevens alt-text btw. SKS is outed as an English geek!
Gingah: It is from the emperor of ice cream, by Wallace Stevens.
In the bin for Biden!
Plese, you sick fucks (on the previous thread), no more talk of Hand Jobs from th eConfort Teams on the elections lines. My 68 y/o mom is a Comfort Captian in Rio Rancho NM
I can’t believe that straight talk crunch isn’t walnuts in vanilla.
Both of those flavors sound kind of gross, but I imagine frozen red candy states (or candied anger, whatever they are) would break teeth? Plus why all the nuts? Why does Baskin Robbins hate real Americans with peanut allergies? When Barry is Prez we will get free softserve on demand!
nmmagayar: I think I know your mother. Blue hair, nice soft hands right?
Got any Candy Reez-Ho Rice?
Or Kerry-OK Waffle Cones?
No Straight Talk Express for me–I prefer the Joe Biden Endless Talk Local.
SayItWithWookies: Elitist!
Since we’re winning, elitist is the new jock, right?
Lazy Media: I won’t complain if it is. These last eight years have been the Gobi desert of tail.
Wavin’ to the girls –
Feelin’ out of sight –
Quotin’ Wallace Stevens on a Saturday night
Honey I just wonder
What you do there in the back
Of your Honda for Barack
Honda for Baraaaack.
Cheez whiz SayItWithWookies: Ya dun got me all heartbroken.
And what about John Edward’s Sweet Baby Cream Pie Vanilla?
We wouldn’t know out here in Greenbelt, Md., across the street from that NASA Goddard place—Baskin Robbins closed its store here, after at least 15 years, and possibly after about 20 years at that location. The great local mom-and-pop Asian restaurant next to the Baskin Robbins, Great Hunan Village, also closed. And at the other end of the shopping center, Dimone’s, a longtime mom-and-pop pizza and sub shop that was there at least 20 years, also closed. And the 7-11 there closed.
Now, this shopping center sucks. If you can’t support a Baskin Robbins, a great Asian restaurant called Great Hunan Village, a great pizza and sub shop called Dimone’s, and a 7-11, for God’s sake, then the management is just stupid.
Walnuts might still be cravin’ the Sin-D Mac-Candy-Cane,
Or the Donald Rum’s-fart Delight
thefrontpage: Great Hunan Village is closed????????? When did this happen? We eat (ate) there whenever we come back to MD for a visit. Dang.
McCain’s flavor should have been Rocky Road. I think that says it all.
Bitter Bananas might have brought out more Hills voters and tightened up the race.
So Obama swept all three of the important polls: Ice cream, coffee and cat shit (http://www.mix971.net/live/content/promotions/kitty.html)
SayItWithWookies:
I heard that it’s made on the blimp or is that made with chopped up pieces of the blimp?
hey, i love french vanilla. or is it freedom vanilla?
Nononono. You have this all wrong.
Barack Obama is the EMPEROR of ice-cream.
I simply cannot believe that the Obama flavor is not “Mocha Velvet.”
“Crunch” = Fiber
Is Sarah Palin’s flavor “Bloody Field Dressed Moose Tracks”?
I think this was a vote based around the fact that Baskin-Robbins customers think Sarah Palin would still be unqualified to be Vice-President of Ice Cream. Perhaps she can take Mayor McCheese’s job, I’m not sure how large McDonaldland is. I’m more interested in the pony ride results. Did more people ride the chestnut mare or the old broken down nag that bites the children?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Let be be finale of seem
The only President is the President of ice-cream
A short culinary note: Really good ice cream has egg yolks in it, aplenty, since ice cream is simply cold churned custard: milk/cream, egg, sugar, and flavoring.
So the fact that they advertise the egg means the rest of their flavors are crap. Which, I guess is not a surprise.
And frankly, Obama’s flavor should totally have been Oreo Latte.
I thought Obama would be Arugala.
DoctorCulturae: with philanderin’ phudge swirl
The Linscott Family that owns Gilles’s Frozen Custard Drive-in, while not selling in ice-cream (but custard), has filed a protest at Obama’s supposed Presidency of Ice-cream.
I know Pat would have it another way.
I’ll have a triple Whirl of Change. I don’t care if I get diabetes; President Hopey is going to get me some bitchin’ healthcare in a couple of months.
Is Straight Talk Crunch made from Preparation H, yellow fingernails and mothballs?