This is why nobody wants to write about Ralph Nader.Wonkette operative John Scholle reports: “FYI I paid $3 for Ralph Nader’s hummus recipe thinking it would make an interesting dish to bring to the election party I’m attending. It is WAY garlicky. It called for four cloves and I put in four cloves but the garlic is so strong it burns. Ralph can’t even get hummus right.”

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  • MathewBrooks


  • slinkimalinki

    recipe or it didn’t happen.

  • Tawmn

    He has to protect himself from his vampirous self.

  • nurple

    Lemon juice, dude, lemon juice.

  • ladymacbeth

    can i be the cheese dip operative?

  • Mr. Herpes

    Take a close look at Nader. This is what it looks like to NEVER have had an orgasm. Never. No wonder he’s pissed at everybody, all the time.

  • The Lucky Republican

    John Scholle is a pervert and a slut.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If McCain’s nasty-ass chilidog recipe wins tomorrow, it’s gonna be Nader’s hummus’ fault.

  • cranchop

    Is that the only way Nader can get any campaign money, putting his name on recipes as if he were Paul Newman? Ralph Nader is no Paul Newman.

  • iwillsavethispatient

    Nader is concerned about Vampires. They’re the new driving-without-your-seatbelt.

  • Stranger in the Alps

    Go ahead, buy Sabra or Tribe. There’s no difference, people. They are the same hummus. We need a hummus alternative.

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    Ralph Nader’s hummers suck, too

    Fixed it.

  • The Station Manager

    [re=161963]Mr. Herpes[/re]: That was simultaneously the best and worst thing I’ve read all day. Well, best. The Freepers have you beat by a mile when it comes to the worst.

  • problemwithcaring

    Not to Monday morning quarterback, but his campaign might have really benefited from a good guac recipe. Hummus is for terrorists.

  • facehead

    I paid $6 to McCain for his freedom fries recipe and it still tasted WAY too french and gay.

  • johnbpt

    A three-dollar hummer? Sounds like a deal.

  • Servo

    Unsafe on anything.

  • Min

    Isn’t hummus included on the terrorist food pyramid?

  • johnbpt

    [re=161975]The Frogurt Is Also Cursed[/re]: Damn! Too slow!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    “Ralph can’t even get hummus right.” That’s because Ralph is not of foreigner muslin/moroccan/middle east terrorist descent. Those guys may hate America but they make a mean hummus. It’s like ordering a hamburger in a Chinese restaurant. What’d you expect?

  • Hutch

    Hummus? I don’t even know ya’ll.


    I thought he was selling his recipe for hubris?

  • PoliTacky

    My recipe calls for slightly roasted or sauteed garlic to take the edge off, I guarantee you won’t gas people with your Naderbreath.

  • drezdn

    Nader: Wrong on Hummus. Wrong for America.

  • WonderWomyn

    [re=161948]slinkimalinki[/re]: Agree!

  • ExecutorElassus

    Four cloves makes it way garlicky? Pussy.

  • Bagglio Ordonez

    You should try trollop Cindy McCain’s bunt cake recipe.

  • Origami

    [re=161988]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I thought Nader was Lebanese or something?

  • Lazy Media

    [re=161988]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Uh, Ralph’s a Ay-rab. One of them pretend-Christian Lebaneezers, but a Ay-rab nonetheless.

  • Stranger in the Alps

    Dr. Ron Paul has a kick ass recipe for fortified gruel.

  • StephanieInCA

    John, you know a clove is just one of the little pieces of the whole garlic bulb, right? Not the whole thing?

    PS, I take back what I said about making out with you on election night, no matter how many Grant Park tickets you have.

  • Nick vdK

    No way. Hummus can’t have too much garlic. I guess there should’ve been a joke there, but I’m dead fucking serious, people.

  • Godot

    [re=162002]Bagglio Ordonez[/re]: Cunt-baked bundt cake?

  • Scandalabra

    Didn’t this dinosaur promote airbags once? Doesn’t that tell you something about his present?

  • johnbpt

    [re=162002]Bagglio Ordonez[/re]: Thanks for making me throw up more than a little bit in my mouth.

  • anabellum

    [re=162001]ExecutorElassus[/re]: couldnt have said it better myself…

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    come to think of it, we might need more than four cloves:

  • Servo

    What the hell, Wonkette!? I took Monday through Wednesday off, and you give me Ralph Nader for a canvas. C’mon!

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    I paid $6.12 for Scott Tenorman’s chili recipe. Needs more pubes.

  • dano

    Nader looks like he reeks of garlic.

  • Godot

    [re=162006]Lazy Media[/re]: moar like lebaneezer SCROOGE m i rite

  • problemwithcaring

    My neighbor across the hall must be cooking this stank, nast-ay recipe everyday. Smells like he fucking puts garlic in his cereal.

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=161993]TARDNFETTERED[/re]: FTW!

  • Mull_Man

    [re=162006]Lazy Media[/re]: My wife’s family is Lebanese – and all are in the tank. Even my nutter-truther-plumber-bother-in-law (whew-hyphen fatigue). Ask for his kibbeh nayeh recipe, if you’re up for raw nader meat.

  • Hutch

    [re=162012]Nick vdK[/re]: Listen, Emerril. It is possible to have too much garlic. If, the day after eating way too much garlic, dogs bark and children point at you, that’s too much garlic.

  • cal

    Nader should be blown up in an old Pinto.

  • Servo

    LOL. Say that 3 times real fast.

  • Godot

    [re=162038]Mull_Man[/re]: “bother-in-law”?

    A Freudian slip if ever there was one!

  • Darehead

    Look on the bright side, John Scholle. You’re safe from sexual harassment and can wear that thong bikini that’s been lingering in your panty drawer.

  • Squiggyfm

    So now we have two things Nader should forever stay out of:
    1. Politics
    2. The kitchen

  • PerhapsSo

    Ralph Nader blingee, please?

  • thebeatgoeson

    OT, but maybe not since it’s about food…I just ordered from Dominos online and they had a presidential poll and guess what?! Dominos pizza eaters are in the tank for Obama 55% to 35%! Unlike the Dominos founder who built that crazy Catholic town called “Ave Maria” in Florida
    “every family, every lifestyle, every dream” I’m thinkin’ teh gayz might not be too welcome…

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=162006]Lazy Media[/re]: [re=162005]Origami[/re]: Doesn’t count–unless I see him praying to Mecca, I’m not going to buy it. (Frankly he looks more Jewish.)

  • V572625694

    Great alt-tag.

  • Servo

    I can really use a Smuttynose Belgian Wheat right about now. Actually, 12 of them.

  • hobgoblin of little minds

    Palin should learn from Ralph’s mistake and keep her recipe for hate-filled lasagna, sprinkled with a heaping handful of stupid to herself.

  • NoWireHangers

    John the Hummus Hater

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=162012]Nick vdK[/re]: depends. we haven’t got the rest of the recipe, so we don’t know the proportions. could be 4 cloves of garlic to one chickpea.

  • wheelie

    My Nader recipe involves garlic, a silver bullet and wooden stakes.

  • LuxMentis

    While I will not now or ever defend Nader, I will say that your complaint that 4 cloves of garlic is too much is…er…a fundamental difference between “you” and “rightness”. Unless the recipe was strangely small (under one cup?!?), 4 is on the normal side…hell, I usually use 6-8 with mine….8-10 if it is roasted (I almost always use roasted as it is a better/more complex flavor with the chickpeas, et al).

    I am the first to admit that I roast 3 pounds of garlic at a time about once ever other month or so (this has the added benefit of leaving garlic infused olive oil as a by-product). There is no such thing as too much garlic .

  • Miller

    So Nader just wants to to benefit from the powerful antioxidant, flu and acne preventing, cholesterol lowering, mosquito repelling garlic and people just want to bitch at him? I hope you’re all eaten by vampires. Me and Ralph will be safe with our hummus and garlic pita chips.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    OT but the hits just keep coming for Walnuts. Second Troopergate report to be released at 7:30 ET tonight.

  • chascates

    At Ralph’s age his tastebuds are shot. Unsafe at any dosage.

  • magic titty

    Rove’s website called it for Hopey.
    Whatever that means…

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=161988]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Yeah, it’s technically “Nadir”, but Christian Lebanese spell their names differently (or so a daughter of Christian Lebanese immigrants told me). So, he’s Arab ENOUGH to know how to make good hummus.

  • chascates
  • DemmeFatale

    I can’t decide. Which is worse? Nader’s face or the dead raccoon?

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=162032]dano[/re]: I was thinking more that you need garlic to keep Nader away.

  • Felicia

    I don’t know why I’m so curious to see the recipe! It doesn’t matter if it’s a good recipe or not, Nader still should stop running for president all the time.

    People shouldn’t be such pussies about garlic, but on the other hand, not every dish needs a medicinal amount of garlic in it. When I was a teenager I tried making hummus for my grandma but I put way too much garlic in it, and I learned an important lesson that way. Later in life, I’ve cooked things that I should have put more garlic in, but I wasn’t sure how cool the people who were going to eat it would be, so I played it safe, and I felt bad when it turned out that I had underestimated them. I guess you just have to know your audience.

  • HomoElectus

    ralphie is visiting georgetown cafe tonight. maybe he should give them his recipe so their food sucks even more.

  • chascates

    ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) � Alaska’s Personnel Board concluded Monday that Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin did not violate ethics law by trying to get her ex-brother-in-law fired from the state police, contradicting an earlier investigation’s findings. The announcement comes a day before Palin and Republican presidential nominee John McCain face voters in Tuesday’s presidential election

  • edgydrifter

    [re=162041]Hutch[/re]: No, that means you used almost enough. Dogs fleeing and children crying? That’s juuuust right.

  • StephanieInCA

    Ralph can have his hummus, I’m celebrating Election Eve with a Hot Chuck Toddy:

  • bluebrazos

    Funny thing about Nader’s hummus is that when he brings it to a potluck only about 1% to 3% of the diners actually go over and eat it, but only if they’re pissed for some reason at the other people who brought hummus.

  • nmmagayar

    [re=162002]Bagglio Ordonez[/re]: shouldn’t that be “Cunt” cake?

  • wheelie

    I usually try stay on topic but . . .

    Is it too early to start getting Hoped up? I don’t want to start a youtube be-in, but this Nina Simone tune has been on my mind for days.

    Enjoy these days, people. Get happy.

  • Waveos

    Does it come with wafers?

  • Iggy Plop

    Yeah, four cloves for me is a baseline hummus recipe. And baba ghanoush? Man, as many cloves per eggplant as I can.

  • stew

    For the ultimate Nader takedown, check out his interview with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog on youtube. The puppet winds hands down…

  • sanantonerose

    [re=161974]Stranger in the Alps[/re]: I like that Tub o’ Hummus they sell at Costco. It’s gots teh pine nuts. Mmmmmmm.

  • sanantonerose

    [re=162008]Stranger in the Alps[/re]: With real chunks of iron!

  • Neilist

    His hummus recipe may not be the greatest. But try his Corvair Canapes.

    They flip upside down on the rack, and spontaneously burst into flames.

    Hmmm-Hmmm good.

  • facehead

    [re=162180]stew[/re]: Wow, I never thought I’d say this about that dear pooch, but that is just unwatchable. Hurrah!

  • AliBabaInBA

    Try freshly roasted, freshly ground cumin.
    Just, please, don’t tell Ralph. (grrrr…)

  • MrGreenGenes

    You want Hummus?!! You can’t handle Hummus! MINIMUM four cloves. And that’s Hummus.

  • Maus

    I think that’s the one few things he gets right (aside from the non-political consumer protection.) Garlic4eva.

  • the invisible woman

    The most important thing is that Republicans eat crow at their election night parties. Or they can choke on their racist/islamophobic/utterly stupid/slightlystrange “Obama Waffles.”

    I don’t really believe in the concept of “too much” garlic or in “too many” breath mints.

  • wheelie

    My fellow EUROPEANS. On the eve of this SHAM ELECTION, I am today calling for an immediate BOYCOTT of America and its new APARTHEID regime in which the Innocent White Majority are being forced to suffer under the yolk of the Black Minority under the hateful guidance of HUSSAIN NOBAMA.

    The disgraceful LAND GRAB which has seen the WHITE HOUSE being stolen by AFRICAN NATIVES is an outrage and a calnumy, a clamuny, oh you know what I mean. Its rong!

    Freedom, freedom for my Palin. Let my Palin free.

  • Bagglio Ordonez

    [re=162155]nmmagayar[/re]: I kept trying to type “cunt cake” but it kept triggering my gag-reflex and I decided to lay down a “bunt” instead.

  • loquaciousmusic

    I feel for you. I think I love you.

  • btwbfdimho

    There’s a prez’tal election tomorrow and Wonkette’s final posting today is about R. Nader. It gives me the creeps.

  • AlexTrebeksGirl

    This is ridiculous. More walnuts and palin jokes. We have less than 24 hours!

  • Giant Robot

    Obama’s win percentage on fivethirtyeight is at 98.1. That’s a lot of bundt cake my friends.

  • 1ofUS

    I can’t believe you’re dissing garlic when the vampires are about to clinch their control on USG by stealing yet another vote. Wake up and smell the pepperoni, people!

  • Quietly

    Nader’s views on garlic seem sound. Perhaps John used four bulbs instead of four cloves?

    I would be interested in trying the hummus recipe, but reading something about Mrs. McCain’s cunt bundt cakes has trashed my appetite forever. THANKS FOR THAT

  • AlexTrebeksGirl

    I just want to tell you guys that in VA tonight, the McCain and Palintards are standing at intersections. You know about daylight savings and how it’s dark at 3pm now, right? Well some of them are close to being run over. Imbeciles!

  • StripesAndPlaids

    Too garlicky? I mean I think Nader is a self absorbed twit, but really, can it be too garlicky?

  • Quietly

    [re=162230]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]: Are they protesting Obama’s Manassas rally tonight, or something?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=162230]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]: You say that as if a few less McPain supporters would be a bad thing…

  • LarryFeltonJ

    Y’know, I like a lot of garlic in my hummus, so I’d probably like the recipe. It’s the contributing-money-to-Nader’s-campaign part that I can’t see.

  • d4g33z

    [re=162156]wheelie[/re]: I’ve had a Nina Simone tune on my mind for awhile too, but unfortunately it’s been this one:

  • Monkey

    You are supposed to roast the garlic first. That maintains the garlic flavor but eliminates the garlic bite. Or you can keep raw, but make sure you mince it.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Just wanna say it:

    Called that the hummus sucked, like 2 months ago. I DESERVE a prize.

  • Darehead

    [re=162294]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ya, I wish we were bloggin’ bout Norm Coleman’s sugar daddy, Nasser Kazeminy. Now there’s a sweet scandal, no garlicky hurts.

    [re=162156]wheelie[/re]: Tanks for the soundtrack! Apropos.

  • Tra

    Half of Wonkette appears to be in the tank for garlic. But how many of them are saying they will use lots of garlic, but secretly eat only, say, beets?

  • Bob Hopeless

    [re=162061]PerhapsSo[/re]: I think Nader is going to require that someone invent “drabee”.
    And his sensationless tongue requires much garlic for flavor sensation. Alas, it is the only flavor he has left to savor. All garlic all the time for Ralph-ums. There’s a fun guy to be with tomorrow night.

  • Chief Grinning Eagle

    Garlic may be the “physicians doctor” but I think he used a few too many garlic drops in that right eye.

  • S.Luggo

    Son of immigrants, Nader, Princeton undergrad, Harvard Law, Army vet, assistant to Daniel Moynihan, has done more for the American consumer than you might accomplish putting together all your collective little heads.
    He has more progressive ideas than either 2008 candidate. But he can’t win. I’m still pissed at Ralph for screwing the 2000 Florida election for Gore. But I wont mock him, although I might angry snarl what a fucking, brilliant idealist he is.

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    [re=162548]S.Luggo[/re]: Why should Ken ban you? You do a much better job of it just by typing.

  • 2druk2phluq

    [re=162548]S.Luggo[/re]: Don’t get mad at me. I want to tear the whole thing down and build a direct democracy. One thing about Ralph though — he’s even older than McCain. He’s got good ideas, but 74 is too fucking old to run this country. Even if he could get elected, which he can’t. Because the whole system is fucked. I read Manila Ryce, and respect Nader and all that shit… but he’s never going to be president. It’s a wasted vote.

  • AnaMarieCocks

    I always thought that “hummus” was what Republican senators did in Minneapolis airport bathrooms?!

  • TGY

    Lebanese chemical warfare! Garlic farts kill silently.

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