And This Is Why Matt Drudge Has Had No Impact On The Election

  dinguses

Hey kids, here’s your current top story on Matt Drudge’s wingnut bastion, The Drudge Report. He is so upset about Obama’s middle finger popping up as he scratches his face, which happens all the time! Who knew that Obama would be so stupid as to intentionally flip off his challenger the day before an election, thus ruining all of his chances? Matt Drudge is So Powerful. With this kind of election-eve material, maybe he’ll get his very own diary on RedState some day! [YouTube]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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55 comments

  1. Viva la Cynthia

    I would say that we’re seeing how far Drudge has fallen, but he would have had to start with some kind of standards for that to be true.

  2. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Silly Drudge. Everyone knows that is Obama flashing an “I” as a symbol that he is the return of the twelfth Imam.

  3. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Do you remember all the stories in the spring, when Drudge was favoring Obama over Clinton about how he was in the tank for Obama?

    Haven’t heard any of those in the last few months.

  4. Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    That ain’t shit. a few minutes later he pretended to caough and was all: *cough John McCain Sucks cough*

  5. mattbolt

    Matt Drudge is just phoning it in at this point. It’s like that wacky Iraqi Information Minister (haha, remember that guy, what the hell) who was all “We have the American infidels right where we want them” as Saddam’s palace was being bombed in the background. Except Drudge is saying “All is well Republican comrades, the dirty infidel Hussein Obama is right where we want him, we shall strike and he shall be conquered, BE STRONG FRIENDS” as somewhere buried deep on his HTML-vomit of a page is some link saying “Obama +6% nationally, has 90% chance of winning popular vote”

  6. Tra

    I for one am looking forward to Nov. 5, when Obama will flip McCain off with both fingers, minus the scratching, just as he has obviously always wished to. “I got yer votes right here,” he will yell, in Muslim.

  7. mattbolt

    I would say that Ashley Todd was the final nail through Drudge’s credibility, but then I realized you can’t physically drive a nail through something that doesn’t exist

  8. Texan Bulldoggette

    Barry needs to hook Matthew up with a gay brother. You can tell Matt is secretly in love with the black/muslin/fist-jabbing terrorist or he wouldn’t be so obsessed with him.

  9. azw88

    He’s not flipping of McCain, he’s flipping of Hillary and all of those hold-out Hilltards.
    He is saying “FUCK ALL Y’ALL” (ala Jon Stewart)”I am gonna win, so take that BEEYATCH!”

  10. mattbolt

    If you flip the bird with both hands, cross your middle fingers like a cross, and say “WILLIAM AYERS” 3 times, Obama actually melts into a puddle

  11. NoWireHangers

    Wonkette, you better have a good Children’s Treasury of Crying Wingnuts for us to enjoy come Wednesday.

  12. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    New siren at Drudge. The first draft of Obama’s victory speech has been released:

    My fellow Americans, I come before you on this incredible night to thank you for your support. At this moment of change, I can think of only one thing to say…

    Hey, Whitey! Suck on it!</I.

  13. nurple

    That’s not just a middle finger, that’s a strokey middle finger. Sends a frisson through the lady crowd.

  14. freakishlystrong

    [re=161267]NoWireHangers[/re]: Well, maybe Thursday or Friday, the Racewar will be on Wednesday.

  15. WadISay

    When they see this, the women of America mass-ovulate, Drudge. When they see you in that ignorant hat, they think of their first husbands.

  16. a-petit dejeuner

    Oh Drudgey-poo, you could have done better mere hours away from the poll closing. You could have spent all your time looking for that ever elusive whitey soundbite instead of exposing the victimization of Ashley Todd.

    But then again, where would we all be without hearing about wingnut cut-nut?

  17. bluebrazos

    This pokey-uppity finger reminds of something.

    I feel like a Chinaman on a viagra OD. I’m getting anxious for this erection to be over.

  18. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Actually, Drudge has many interesting pictures up right now. Murtha showing his devil horns and Joe Biden apparently miming giving two guys blow jobs.

    His only picture of McCain is apparently him pointing out a blond to Arnold and suggesting that they should see who could bang her first.

  19. Tra

    I thought it was because Matt Drudge is an obvious poser in a stupid hat and you’d have to have the intelligence of a stunned pigeon to pay attention to anything he sa– oh, wait.

  20. problemwithcaring

    [re=161229]mattbolt[/re]: Baghdad Bob resents that comparison. Baghdad Bob went to the University of Baghdad and majored in journalism and got a Masters in English. I read Baghdad Bob’s wiki page and Matt Drudge is not fit to serve Baghdad Bob his 7-11 coffee.

  21. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Boy, what is it about Hopey that makes everyone around him turn into desperate idiots trying to find terrorist signals in his graying pattern?

  22. norbizness

    Drudge is about 6 months away from renting out his entire site to “Obama is From a Race of Advanced Lizards” cable TV access show nuttiness.

  23. Lorax

    I swear to Jeebus that I saw him do it in the speech today and audibly said, “Oh shit. That’ll be on YouTube soon.”

    Just stunned that it wasn’t overlaid with some under-his-breath “suck it, old-timer!”

  24. Violenza

    Dude, Barack got wicked 5 o’clock shadow! Look at the freeze frame – I thought it was Steadman for a minute!

  25. Monkey

    It’s baseball sign to the inner circle that means, “No, not really. John McCain has run this race like tired old prick.”

  26. azw88

    [re=161345]Violenza[/re]: Now that you mention it, have Stedman and Obama ever been seen together???
    Hmmm…. just sayin..

  27. Kev-O-Tron

    Malkin’s blog is in full force conniption mode right now! It’s fucking fantastic.

    They’re literally talking about all the guns and ammo they have stockpiled! Dude just posted that he’s got his “second generation night vision goggles and Phaser II” out of the “rifle chest.” I don’t know what that means but Phaser II sounds intense.

  28. DeathOfIrony

    I wouldn’t put it halfway past Hopey’s campaign to insert random ambiguous stuff in there just to tweak the foil hat brigade. If you look at how ‘on top of it’ the campaign has been, you could bet that there’s a plan for that.

    Can you make a podium drape out of Muslin? He outta get that together by tonite.

  29. 1ofUS

    [re=161564]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: And McCain called Michelle “the pick o’ the pickaninnies” and they were friends for life.

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