Wonkette
Virgil Goode is the patriotic Republican congressman who threatened to deport Representative Keith Ellison, an American citizen from Minneapolis who was sworn in on Thomas Jefferson’s Koran. Once upon a time Rep. Goode had a press secretary named Linwood Duncan. This Duncan fellow was Goode’s press secretary for many years! And then, suddenly, he had “health problems” and had to retire after it turned out he had a line or two in a terrible gay coming-of-age movie shot in Danville. But that’s not even the worst of it! Duncan may have been complicit in the UNSPEAKABLE VIOLATION OF A FAX LINE.
Stay with us here, because this is complicated:
1. This Duncan, press secretary to extremely conservative nut Goode, has a little role in this awful movie.
2. Duncan is also good friends with the writer/producer Jerry Meadors, a man who should be imprisoned forever for this sort of dialogue:
Peter (freshman in bed with Ian, his graduate student poetry T.A.): “I’m scared.” Ian: “Don’t be, it’ll go away.” Peter: “Promise?” Ian: “Yeah.”
3. Meadors sends his terrible movie to a Toronto gay and lesbian film festival, and provides VIRGIL GOODE’S OFFICE FAX LINE as a way to contact him.
4. Everybody laughs because Virgil Goode is now a godless sodomite, having (unknowingly?) whored out his fax line to promote a movie about brainless young men in college fucking each other.
EXEUNT OMNES.
BC: Virgil Goode’s office linked to gay erotica film [Daily Kos]
Misuse of Funds [Martinsville Daily]
Eden’s Curve: The camera is the star [James Wegg Review]
Virgil Goode would make an awesome gay porn name.
Slow news day?
I mean, some scandals are a stretch, but this is some Stretch Armstrong shit. We’re a whole 2 degrees of seperation from an actual gay, here. Call me when our buddy Virgil gets caught using that fax line to send pictures of him in a fursuit with strategically cut-out holes to a local boy scout troop.
Wait til the news comes out about Virgil’s gay Japanese brother Fukmiso Goode.
That report made my head hurt. Oh, and there’s a joke somewhere there about being goo’ed but it’s too early.
Missed Cocktober by three days…
The cunnilingus movie is next. Goode, Eatin’.
Oh… A Republican in some form of gay sex scandal?
*yawn*
I guess the best gay sex GOP scandals really do end with Cocktober.
The fact that Goode apparently employed a known gay should be enough to get him defeated, excommunicated, deported, spindled, folded, and mutilated.
So this disqualifies him from office? I thought it was a requirement for the position? What’s the prob?
I actually saw that movie. I’ve seen worse.
Not only is Virgil Goode gay, but he’s into big mooslin afro-cock.
The really stupid thing is that story got incredible traction here in the district. Tom Perriello, the Democratic challenger and a really super nice guy, had NOTHING to do with this admitted stretch beyond stretching, but the far right wacko fundies in the district are completely appalled that Goode was thanked in the credits of the movie and had his office phone number listed as a contact number for the movie on some Canadian website. To them, it’s a whole smoking gun of gayness.
The more interesting part of the story surrounds the fact that Goode’s wife and the press secretary were on the board of a local theater (the one where the movie locally premiered) when Goode brought home a big fat earmark for the theater. Apparently, for Goode, goverment is about rewarding your friends, not helping your district.
Man. Bor-iiiiiiing.
Comeon GOP goobers, it’s Canada City. We’re all supposed to be gay married hosers who waste pwecious rich people’s money smoking our pot and using our “free” universal healthcare.
What don’t you people understand? This is a rock-solid tenet of Republicanism, scientifically proven by creation science. The true facts are very simple:
Gays = bad
Dudes fucking each other = hot
what is it with republicans being secretly closeted? passing anti-gay legislation isn’t going to fool anyone! legislative denial is most definitely the worst kind.
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com
Yeah, if I found myself associated with any of the movies made for the gay market these days (I guess that stereotype about gays having taste isn’t true, looking at the crap foisted on them by gay filmmakers), I’d retire from my job in disgrace too. And I work in a cube farm.
Who uses an idiot FAX line as a first method of contact?
Welcome to Blowvember, mateys-
TGY:
Standard GOPerating Procedure - it’s not what you say or do, but how it looks.
gjdodger: My, you certainly are a cunning linguist.
He represents that TRUE Virginia, the one that is more ‘Southern” in Nature.
We just didn’t know that “southern” was the new euphemism for the BUTTSECKS!!!!
gives that phrase “Southern Style” a whole new meaning….
Cogito Ergo Bibo: It’s amusing how much $$ the repugs spend on slandering the libruls while the dems can just sit back and let this shit write itself.
Iggy Plop: sadly, he pronounces it “Gude”. I guess he is too modest to pronounce it “good”.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
gjdodger: Goode’s “friends” also wanted to give him a “hummer”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgil_Goode#Hummer_accusation
This guy’s district is near mine and the name Goode is pronounced as if it were the past tense of (the nonexistent verb) “goo”. Sorta ironic.
Yes Santa, there is a closet in Virginia.
Doglessliberal: Ha indeed!
There is NOTHING modest about that guy. As far as I know, anyway.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: BTW: Virginians in the 5th district - apparently there’s a televised debate between Goode and Periello tonight!
PsycGirl: no, he is a first-class a-hole.
Giant Robot: Perriello has been particularly slandered. Goode’s commercials call Perriello a “New York lawyer” which basically boils down to the fact that Perriello spent 2 years in NYC and got his bar license there, despite being born and raised in the district (apparently “NY lawyer” is a bad thing, which is something I don’t understand anyway, if you were born in the district). Goode also did a deliberate job of trying to make the very clean cut caucasian Perriello look dark and menacing by picking a bearded picture of Perriello taken when he was working in Africa with groups that helped end warfare in Liberia and Sierra Leone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV7lxlftZwI
When you don’t have the arguments on your side, you make the other guy look scary.
azw88: There’s a new lifestyle magazine out titled, I kid you not, “Garden and Gun” tagged as a “guide to the new south”. So now I’m wondering if they mean something different by Gun than what I was thinking at first.
Didn’t Goode used to be a Democrat? I think that helps explain why this pseudo-gay-sex scandal just doesn’t compare to the shenanigans of his new GOP associates.
praise jebus! i used to live in Virgil Goode’s crappy litle district and hope he gets his whatever handed to him on election day. the guy is an idiot. and i don’t care where he puts his thingie.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Pollster has Perriello down by 12 points. Maybe too much to hope for an upset but it would be pretty sweet…
Paterlanger: Yes, and their theme song is “Happiness is a Warm Gun” or is that “Happiness is warm cum”
guess the both mean the same thing!
The Neoskeptic: Whuh? A real televised debate? Goode’s been running scared from that for months now! Who is televising it?
This asshole cannot leave my district soon enough. He’s the embodiment of just about everything I hate.
azw88: Bud, you have *NO* idea… ;0)~
Worst start to blowvember ever.
MoodProcessor: dammit!
Giant Robot: There’s an internal that showed it as an 8 pt. race a couple of weeks back (the most recent of the polls). There really aren’t any truly recent polls. Nothing since the big media blitz started on both sides. Certainly, nothing since the Danville paper endorsed Perriello or since the “Eden’s Curve” crap hit. I’m crossing my fingers that Hopey’s coattails will be big enough to drag Perriello with him. Particularly given the huge numbers of undecideds in all the polls. The most fascinating number I saw was in an early October SurveyUSA poll which showed that Perriello’s supporters were solid, while nearly half of those claiming to support Goode also stated that they were open to changing their minds. If the district breaks for Obama, lightning really could strike.
Doglessliberal: No problem at all. Goode rhymes with lewd dude, crude and rude, not to mention pompous attitude, pious rectitude, prancing with young boys in the nude and, as a couple of people already mentioned, gooed, but I’ll leave that one to somebody with superior photoshop skills.
Has nobody noticed, that film festival was in TORONTO. He was consortin’ with some furrin homersexuals.
Cogito Ergo Bibo:
New York lawyer = Jew
When I was a brainless young college student fucking other branless young college students, I did an internship under Linwood in the Danville office and got the distinct impression he would’ve loved to be fucking brainless young college students himself.
donner_froh: Well, duh. How did I not catch the lingo? Thanks! I really must get me a GOP-to-English translator.
A 5th Cong. Dist. - Va. version of Smoky & The Bandit: http://www.fulvuedrive-in.com/cover/EDENCURVE.jpg
Giant Robot: But don’t forget Blowvember!
This film is gay in the sense that it is lame, right?
Does Virgil Goode have a part in the film? That’d be even better!
thefrontpage: Nope. They just thank him in the credits at the end of the film. Which is actually enough of a connection for most of the far right whack jobs we have in the district. I’ll just laugh my ass off when they all stay home, rather than vote for either side.