Wonkette
Do you see this, America? If you vote “yes” on California Prop 8, YOU are authorizing Mitt Romney to come into your evil lesbian household and sniff your panties. [YouTube]
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Love the swastika look….so retro…
I am wondering why people refer to the LDS as a “church” instead of the more proper term “cult”.
Whoa! Was half expecting a two headed alien vibro-schwantz to come flopping out of one of the nightstands that that overenthusiastic Geek Squad staffer was rummaging through…hilarity ensues!
You know, I was on the fence about this issue when I thought it would only apply to butch flannel-clad lesbians, but now that I see how hot, sexy-panty-wearing lesbians will be affected I am OUTRAGED!
schitzatura: Not sure, but I think it was a tiny two-headed alien vibro-schwantz there among the wreckage - so embarrassing!
Hrm.. yeah, this wouldn’t have had the same power if we were talking about splitting up gay guys. But when it’s lesbos… hot damn! Something must be done!
The blond Mormon has a nice murse.
Don’t “real” people normally keep documents like this in least am Office Depot cheapie fireproof lockbox? And not their high def tv console?
Even women who love women?
StrangelyBrown: You do not know for a fact they were wearing panties.
schitzatura: How about hiding it “on their person”…
Fantastic ad. In real America, of course, these commie women would have long ago been sent to Gitmo to live with the terrorists they love so much.
itgetter: Please, it’s a European carryall.
And if those Mormons tried that with some of my lesbian friends, they’d be hogtied and hanging from the flagpole in about three minutes flat.
Tip to all lesbos in CA– hide your marriage license behind your framed photo of the Stanford women’s basketball team. You should be ok. And when the Osmonds start going through your stuff, slash the tires on their bikes and make them hoof it back to the lair.
Meh. Try that shit on Bette or Alice, see how many doorbells you can ring with a stiletto heel lodged in your colon.
Ladies, ladies, you have rights, this is true. But it seems you forgot to get your firearms. Having them, you know, is one of your rights. Even birdshot in the buttcheeks would have dissuaded those clean-cut fellows. Now that’s an ad I’d like to see.
So the conservatives are trying to turn the gays against the lesbians?
I thought it would have been great if, at the end, the two Mormonoids held hands and skipped away.
Not the lesbian video I had hoped for. Try again, please.
You gotta love political consultants. Faced with bigotry against gays, they use the power of bigotry against Mormons. Everybody wins!
If I had known there was a list of hot lesbian households, it would have affected my trick-or-treat plans. “Daddy, why are we driving so far?!”
SayItWithWookies: I’m thinking the response would be more like this…or the Salt Lake temple would be overrun by Golden State lesbian amazon shock troops (think Ninth Army Group of the People’s Liberation Army at Chosin Reservoir, November 26–December 13, 1950).
In Part II, it’s 2016 and the Mormons have had legal polygamous marriage thanks to President Romney.
The new Proposition 666 proposed by Mary Cheney would allow lesbians to go into their homes and rip their marriage licenses and take away any results of their marriage, including the 200 children from the 2 guys in Part I. Then all the Mormons are hogtied and hung to the flagpole (thanks, Wookies), and all the Mormon children in the land are adopted by gays and lesbians. The end.
So those stormtroopers weren’t married - are you sure?
The lesbos are laughing behind the door because they laced their panties with gay germs.
SayItWithWookies: Spoken like a fake ‘Murkin.
It’s a MURSE. Men who wear them are teh gayz. That Mormon is secretly in the tank!11!!1
pourmecoffee: What? These lesbians were pretty hawt. And all that makeup coming out of that one bag? Lipstick, foundation, and blush lesbians are hot.
Look on the bright side ladies, The Mormons didn’t confiscate any of your dildos.
itgetter: Or a mandbag.
My woman’s Mormon Aunt “Linda” stated that she’s voting for 8 because marriage should be between two “christians,” and clearly gays are not christian, none of them. NONE.
Following this train of TOTAL FUCKING LOGIC, Mormons should not be able to vote, because they are Mormon.
I’m from a heavily Mormonized area of the country. They seem to have strong and caring familial units, and many of the Morbots I’ve known were pretty decent, level-headed, tolerant people. There are some, though, who truly belong in a spaceship trailing a comet.
shortsshortsshorts: as a Wonketeer, does that mean I need to go down to the Township to take my vote back, too, because clearly….the Wonketeer themesong doesn’t include Jezuss forevah!…shit, it’ll be a mess sorting through all those other votes - hope I don’t pick the wrong one!… drunk as I am…
shortsshortsshorts: Does she know that Mormons aren’t Christians?
I don’t see the big deal. Why should straights be the only ones to enjoy the misery…er….majesty that is marriage.
As a totally fucking butch dyke lesbian (for realz) I am ready for the black socialist overlord, as long as i can continue to have awesome nachos. dont forget to vote assholes!
shortsshortsshorts: jagorev: i think we should ask truechristian who’s a true christian.
would the fem les’s p0wned the LDSers if they offered a 4-way? “I’m ready for my tithing, Mr. B. Young the CCXXXIV”
What a lame ad. In my befuddled state due to mixing painkillers and white wine, I first thought those two guys WERE gay married, and they were barging into those nice wimmenz house and THAT was why you should vote FOR Proposition 8. And wouldn’t the Mormons WANT Prop 8 not to pass, because then next they can legalize those one man/many underage wimmenz marriages that their prophet so approved of.
What Would Mormon Space Jesus Do?
This ad would be more believable had there been a scene with the Mormonz waving a special golden Joseph Smith wand over the panties to make them into Magic Mormon Underwears…
So why did the preppy gay Mormons rip up those hot lesbians’ marriage license again? Was this something Joseph Smith foretold?
Okay, who made the Freakin Mormom Church keepers of ‘Traditional Marraige’? Isn’t their entire history based on their own definition of marraige?
InKnockYouUs: ‘I first thought those two guys WERE gay married,’
Me too. They like More Mens, right?
Damn -I thought those two dudes were there to fuck some heterosexuality into those poor misguided lesbos.
SayItWithWookies: “they’d be hogtied and hanging from the flagpole in about three minutes flat.”
Sounds like a scene from the new film of that First Amendment Giant, Larry “Bullet Backstop” Flynt.
freeradical: “dont forget to vote assholes!”
?? Are we voting up or down on assholes? I forget.
If my past experience is any guide, exposing the involvement of this cult making hate a part of the state constitution an issue as often as possible is the best approach. They really don’t like any bad press at all.
After all, it’s the church of MORe-MONey and they all tithe a chunk of the money that they make to their organization.
ALL LDS BUSINESSES in the US are paying for this effort. Find someplace else to shop.
And by all means let them know why. They may have been forgiven/forgotten for all of the Christian men/women/childresn they murdered in the Mountain Meadows Massacre, but this is a new atrocity and you may still have time to stop this one.
pervert mormons just want to raid panty drawers
slappypaddy: Good question, Im so in the tank I don’t know. No on assholes if they are against change and hopeyness, I guess.
Woodwards Friend: Yes, along with blacks being that color because of sin and Native Americans being fundamentally “loathsome”.
Besides, the Mormons (second “m” is silent) were doing it wrong. They are supposed to dress up like Indians when they pull this type of nonsense.
I visited the Beehive House in Salt Lake City once - got the feeling those “wives” actually ran the show. Weird vibes. Recommend it for your lesbian field trip or honeymoon fun….
Panties are in the tank!
I think they were planting cameras.
freeradical:
Relax.
I oppose any legislation that keeps hot young lesbians from making out. My core values are under attack!!!
Of course there’s one fairly high profile Mormonwho has a “No on 8″ sign in his yard … and his wife has donated $50K to the campaign.
fuckinredneck: LOL I want to see that said in action
fuckinredneck: As in on Fox News. In front of Bill O’Reilly horny falafel.
J-Man: Oops– sorry that link didn’t work. It’s Steve Young, former 49er QB.
J-Man: And dirtbag Dodger (and former Giant) Jeff Kent contributed $10k to the Yes on 8 campaign. Can’t wait till next season - boos for the closeted fudge packer will be epic. Maybe we can send him to the GWB Memorial Sewage Treatment Plant for a warm-up.
If, on my first comment ever here, I include a link that I pretend does not point to my blog and say something like: Check out this No on Prop 8 campaign and even include a “:)”, will you guys totally hate on me?
Because I did.
Those gay blades! The Mormons, I mean.
This isn’t how I would have finished the scenario “two LDS missionaries knock the door of two hot lesbians,” but oh well
It’s definitely not an ad to turn the religious fanatics off of 8, but I dunno, it might catch some attention from the wishy-washy folks who decide every election and maybe don’t like Mormons either?
glamourdammerung, you use those two terms as though they don’t mean the same thing.
oh come on! you know the average lesbian doesn’t look like that! They should look like Ellen, not Portia de Rossi!
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_Book_of_Moron
HedonismBot: There are some, though, who truly belong in a spaceship trailing a comet.
I think those are the ones they call “elders”.
scruffycat: We won’t hate you, just ignore you.
McCainsThirdNipple:
Or Rosie O’Donnell.
Don’t those women know they were created to be plural wives? They can still live together so what’s the problem?
dude, those mormons are soo gay. See who supports what: http://www.sfgate.com/webdb/prop8/
“I bet Gary knew those two boys were Mormons…”–Gary Gilmore’s mom, The Executioner’s Song.
Lascauxcaveman: Fair enough.
I discourage visiting missionaries, etc., by putting a Chinese door god poster on my front door! This is a picture of two burly men in full armor, brandishing weapons. They protect me from evil spirits and anything unlucky or untoward, such as MORMON MISSIONARIES! JWs, too.
Zhu Bajie
FACT:
Making the female Dwight Schrute your narrator will undercut the legitimacy of your political ad’s message.
I’m Mormon and read wonkette regularly, which probably makes me an Evil Lesbian Secessionist Commie in the eyes of the weirder members of my church. I also voted for Hopey O’Changeface and campaign AGAINST prop 8. I’m expecting an angry letter any day now.
Seriously though the Mormon Church ≠ All Mormons
We thought the two “Mormons” would suddenly rip off all their clothes, and the two “lesbian” women would rip off all their clothes, and they would all just start getting it on, to the tunes of Marvin Gaye, Barry White and Luther Vandross!
And then–Virgil Goode and Larry Craig come roaring in and join the action!
At the end, everyone tosses their keys into a basket on the coffee table, as AC/DC’s “Shook Me All Night Long” starts to play!
That would have been a much better video.
g-wonk: I am also Mormon, and I can attest that there is a majroity that are as hopelessly wing nut as any in John Hagge’s crazed Texas flock. But there are others, like myself and g-wonk, who somehow escaped becoming Mitt clones to become tolerant human beings. In my case, it was because of a mother from San Francisco and a father who owed his life to his African American buddies in Vietnam. So, no, we are all not mindless retards, but there are a lot of them in the Mormon ranks.
The real problem that I have with this is that someone knows by looking at voter rolls which individual donors are Mormon. Do we know how many Catholics, Jews, evangelicals, Taoists, Lutherans, Krishnas, and Rastafarian have donated for or against this proposition? Now, those would be some interesting numbers.
Because I wouldn’t want Krishnas running my government. My feet aren’t pretty enough for sandals.
schvitzatura: ha! you read my mind. that’s exactly what i was waiting for - the dildo confiscation!
In all this talk of love and hate and rights, there is no mention of wisdom, judgment and righteousness. The Mormons are called Mormons, because they believe the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon reveals that this land belongs to its former inhabitants, promised to them as an eternal inheritance, by the hand of the God of Israel.
But it was taken from them, and given to strangers, because of their transgression, after they had been visited and taught by Christ himself. Yet the promise to their fathers was that they would be restored to the knowledge of Christ, which was had anciently by their fathers, and they would be restored to their land, when the strangers, brought to this land by the hand of God, turned from him in turn.
The Mormons believe this from the book: “And now, we can behold the decrees of God concerning this land, that it is a land of promise; and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall serve God, or they shall be swept off when the fulness of his wrath shall come upon them. And the fulness of his wrath cometh upon them when they are ripened in iniquity.”
Fighting against the acceptance of perversion is not an act of hate. It’s an act of love. If we allow ourselves to ripen in iniquity, we’ll be swept off the face of this land, just as surely as the former cities here were shaken to pieces, burned in consuming fire and sunk into the depths of the sea, because of iniquity.
If Mormons didn’t love people, they wouldn’t care.