Goateed Prophet Chuck Todd Thinks This ‘Obama’ Will Win

  math numbers

Lick me.One of your favorite pretend secret boyfriends, NBC News “Math Fraud” Chuck Todd, thinks that — get this — the DEMOCRAT, the nominee of the party that always loses presidential elections due to horrible gayness, will win the current presidential election. Oh, “okay.” He lists Florida, Indiana, Montana, Missouri, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota and Ohio as the only toss-up states, and Obama can lose them all and still come out with 286 electoral votes. Do you think that Chuck Todd knows that Barack Obama is Indonesian? [First Read]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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39 comments

  1. jagorev

    Chuck Todd is so early 2007. Nate Silver is the new Chuck Todd.

    Though, to be honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing the two of them wrestle naked in a pool of KY.

  2. HomoPolitico

    Dude is going to get so much pussy after this election. I’m talking extended polling hours here.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    Hey Chuck, see that car insurance ad to the right of your article? That is what a map looks like. You, sir, have a list of states. I’m sure with the internets and all, there’s probably some way you can get a doodad like that.

  4. SkimLatteModerate

    [re=159856]TommySez[/re]: I don’t know about you, but when I have vivid dreams of my future life forever intertwined with Nate’s, I’m not picturing an actual person, with a, you know, personality. It’s really more of a maps and models thing with him.

  5. Harvey Birdman

    Due to your use of quotes around “okay,” you are now one of my favorite pretend secret boyfriends.

  6. Dreamer

    I will create my own list of “Real America” by which I mean all the racist states, “Fake America”, all the communist, terrorist loving states – I am putting PA and Ohio in the RA category. These categories are only for “tossup” states.

  7. Texan Bulldoggette

    Nate is really a scrawny, pencil-necked geek who wasn’t blessed with over the top good looks & probably suffered a lot of nosebleeds & allergies as a child. Chuckie T. OTOH looks like he might have actually thrown a ball or picked up a hay bale or something heavier than a calculator in his lifetime. Chuckie T. is much more do-able than Nate.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    [re=159866]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: Men have the hots for Jessica Rabbit, and women have the hots for a set of electoral maps. How we’ve made it this far as a species I have no idea.

  9. BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=159856]TommySez[/re]: But that’s part of his charm! He’s my favorite ever number-crunching, cave-dwelling, statistics-obsessed lemur, surfacing only to educate us before returning to his life of Mountain Dew, weekly showers, and furious scribbling.

  10. Dreamer

    [re=159856]TommySez[/re]: He always seems as though he is lacking sleep. He looked a bit more dynamic on DL Hughley’s lame show on CNN – I think he should wear his glasses to these shows.

  11. Monkey

    Seriously. Chuck Todd does not know news when he sees it. The question is whether this NASA Space Refrigerator will fall in a red state or a blue one, or on John McCain or Barack Obama. That will determine this election, folks.

  12. wrenchdevil

    [re=159875]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Lighten up on Nate. 538 is like comfort food when I am not feeling too well about the election.

  13. OzoneTom

    [re=159877]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: In this day and age, I don’t feel that weekly showers are all that extravagant.

  14. nuckingfutz

    [re=159875]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Bulldoggette, please! I would SO have teh seks with Nate the Silver, he of the math porn site.

  15. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=159895]wrenchdevil[/re]: Sorry, I too like Nate & his site. He just doesn’t cut the butter for me in THAT way. He is the ultimate revenge of the nerds, though, because I imagine a lot of girls out there would do him in a NY minute.

  16. Tommy Says Soooo

    Chucky Todd is hokay for the news if a little reluctant to pull the trigger due to NBC News’ faux “non-partisanship”, but his goatee reminds me of the ass pucker of an amorous goat.

  17. DoctorCulturae

    srsly, Chuck is Lucky to have a spot open for him at NBC. And “calling” it for O at this time? Russert would’ve called it weeks ago. In fact Russert would have gone bat shit crazy over Palin not being interviewed by the press, not knowing the constitution, and not being vetted. He more than anyone would have torn McCain a new one. He’d be outraged constantly over the subtle Repub race-baiting and would have given himself or the RNC more than one heart attack.

  18. tiny mexican

    [re=159875]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Bleh. I agree that the whole nerdy chic thing is overrated, but Nate’s definitely cute without his glasses and he has a sense of humor (see – every post he’s made about Drudge). And may I remind you that any skinny boy can build muscles, but ginger pubes are forever.

  19. ivenson

    [re=159836]jagorev[/re]: Saw Nate Silver on that embarrassing DL Hughley show on CNN last night. It was like he was a hen and the camera was a rattlesnake. Dude was a little nervous in the service.

    I know it’s TV and all….but it’s only DL Hughley, man. Get hold of yourself.

  20. VoxPopuli

    [re=160321]mcfrady[/re]: Yes, he always reminded me of someone and when I figured it out, I wondered if anyone else noticed that he’s just a Members Only jacket away from being Murray.

  21. Jukesgrrl

    [re=160415]J-Man[/re]: Nate doesn’t need hair and make-up, just $150,000 worth of clothes that are not red or blue.

Comments are closed.