Wonkette
A shocking new poll by the Associated Press proves that McCain supporters are “becoming more angry, bored, overwhelmed and helpless.” Only 13% of the bitters are “excited” about the campaign, while the rest just wish it was already over. Barack Obama supporters, however, are loving life, living large, and constantly getting laid. [AP-Yahoo]
There’s a new anti-depressant called Fukitol that they should be taking.
Holy Krap! That poll’s talkin’ about me! I just got laid!
http://storefrontwindows.blogspots.com/
Henghnn?!?
How much more angry, bored, overwhelmed and helpless can they get. Given that they are called bitters, I thought they were already maxed out in that department. Maybe that ass-hat lady from the previous post can go around with McCain and give them all some of that nice, tasty republican candy to cheer them up–she should have plenty leftover from last night.
Yeah, but imagine how great they’ll feel when Obama turns out to be a foreign born Muslin, Marxist terrorist.
8 years of parting on the way.
You forgot re distributor. . .
http://www.theweeklydonut.com/index.php/2008/10/16/john-mccain-hes-just-plain-scary-part-five/
Why do I have the sinking feeling that on Wednesday, Obama stickers are going to become the new bull’s eyes?
rambone: heart attack, suicide….
I know some people here in Dallas stocking up on guns and ammo for when “them there jungle bunnies” start running wild on November 5th…
rambone: the other half is silk.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Holy Krap! I frigged up the blog!
New Sarah fun : http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/
hobgoblin of little minds: Maybe Joe the Plumber could ahem…plunge out anti-candy lady & make her a more acceptable member of society (although I don’t know who’ll return the favor for Joe but I could make some suggestions!)
This tremendous letdown is going to follow two days of “travels” around the country (after tonight’s SNL appearance) doing what he can to pump up the tens of people who show up at each venue to holler “terrorist” and “wealth redistributor” as the aging war veteran plows through his remarks. If I were a Repub, I’d stay home too.
Come Tuesday night, he’ll appear on the porch of his gigantic home in a huge war bonnet and announce “I shall cry no more forever” as he also declares he will no longer be a candidate for US Senate, that the Rosenbergs were innocent and that Ho Chi Mihn wasn’t “such a bad guy after all” before ululating and passing out. Or something like that.
I don’t think anyone here is getting laid. *sighs*
I normally wouldn’t encourage suicides, but I’m not going to cry too much…
Great idea! But, I don’t think Joe the Plumber’s plunger is big enough to dislodge enough of her hate-filled polyps, and the many other manifestations of her horridness that reside in her GI tract, to de-bitterize her.
McCainiacs: would you die for your country?
Great. Here’s a rope.
Overwhelmed by what? What is the average McCain supporter overwhelmed by?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: why would a wonketeer say that? we must have hope!
Laid? Here in Utah? Honest?
hobgoblin of little minds: I ‘magine he’d use the “snake” on her, if youknowwhatimsayin
Happy Fun Ball: despair!
Happy Fun Ball: hatred
Well, with the high percentage of diabetes and heart disease that’s prevalent in the GOP base, mass stress-induced fatalities are almost certain with an Obama victory.
On a down note, my prediction for a McCorpse stroke in October was obviously inaccurate. Damn!
Damn it!
I read the article and also text searched for the words “McCain,” “supporters,” and “mass suicide” and came up empty.
Next time, don’t be such a tease.
absolutely disgusting. first you suggest that Trig Palin wishes he had been aborted rather than be dressed up as an elephant for halloween. now, you sick bastards are suggesting all McCain supporters kill themselves as a service to the country (see wheelie’s comment at 9:21pm, 11/01/08).
I hope you all rot in hell.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: I’m getting laid as we speak.
Happy Fun Ball: Stupidity.
wonkettedisgustsme: Well…”Country First” right?
In case any of you missed it, John McCain meets Anna-Nicole Smith.
I can’t tell the real cause-effect in that survey. Here in “The Heart of Dixie” we will be overwhelming in the McCain camp, but we are already overweight, diabetic, uneducated, and bitter, so is “angry, bored, overwhelmed and helpless” the chicken or the egg?
wonkettedisgustsme: That’s not very nice, wishing people would “rot in hell.” Learn some manners.
wonkettedisgustsme: It’s occurred to most of us long ago that we are probably destined to rot in hell. FAIL. Try again.
wonkettedisgustsme: You took part in the AP poll, didntya?
Could they just all jump out of twelve-story buildings…? I missed the last Depression. I still miss it….
AnnieGetYourFun: Rub it in, why don’tcha. Oh, that sounds dirty.
Ken Layne: Yes, and he didn’t even wish us a nice day or a nice trip to hell. Fuck him in the ear.
McCant is visiting the state of early onset Alzheimer’s. He can’t even keep track of his lies anymore so he’s going to strongly endorse both sides of every issue. What?
You guys gotta check this out, a prank call to Palin from Canada:
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=kN3KUXWppNs
Hey Wonketteers, you are sounding particularly bloodthirsty, why? Your supposed to be happy, “constantly getting laid” and enjoying your socialist takeover of America.
wonkettedisgustsme: If you’re upset about comments about Trig & McCain supporters, you should probably close every orifice when you hear what we’ve been saying about your false god, Bible Spice. (Note: we’ve been very generous to Trig & LD Walnuts supporters.)
wonkettedisgustsme: Bitter, please.
AnnieGetYourFun: I think I speak for all of us when I say that you’re our new hero - may you rot in hell…
McCain backers should be in high spirits, actually. Today Sarah Palin broke the news that apparently we are at war with Iran, like, RIGHT NOW! It isn’t just the Iraqi brown people we’re offing. At some point, with almost no fanfare, we went to war with Iran too. PRAISE JESUS AND PASS THE AMMUNITION!!
wonkettedisgustsme:
Capital! But please, not in front of the children.
smellyal8r: Cuntry First!
OMG, the subject of this thread isn’t merely a snarky Wonketteism! It seems to now have teh pungent aroma of the truth.
Greta’s faithful Bitters seem to be really, really going batshit. My guess is that they must have had a Democrat read the writing on the wall to them out loud. They are hysterical, quoting from The Drudge Report, praying, speaking in tongues and POSTING IN ALL CAPZ with even more misspellings and grammatical errors than usual.. Swwweeeet.
Also, who would ever have thought that Muslin terrorist in-teh-tank-for Hopey rag The New York Times would ever give major props and a shout-out to Bitters News Network anchor/poofter Shepard Smith for his on-air bitch-slapping of Bitter poster boy Joe The Fucktard?
Sheeesh.
hustle:
Yeah. I heard about that when I got in about 90 minutes ago. That’ll make a nice 3:00 AM phone call ad. Dumb Phoque.
Dreamer: Uhhh, the GOP led the nationalization of our banks and they are actually for “wealth redistribution” as long as the poor are giving it to the wealthy. This Wonketteer isn’t bloodthirsty, just ready for Change I Can Believe In, amigo.
wonkettedigestsme: What is it with you people and hell?
hustle: Two Canadian clowns tricked our national embarrassment into believing that she was talking to France’s Sarkozy. I especially liked how they identified Sarkozy’s assistant as Frank l’ouvrier (Frank the worker), very clever! But what is tragic is how amateurish her staff are.
You know how they say that certain breeds of dogs have become increasingly ill-tempered lately because of all those generations of inbreeding to maintain pure bloodlines? Some of these breeds — especially working dogs like dalmatians — used to be very popular and well regarded, but now they can turn on their own masters at unexpected times, and they can’t be trusted around children anymore.
I think that’s what has happened to white people in this country.
Dreamer: Why? Some of us are still a lil’ cranky about the whole “slaughter of innocent thousands, rigged elections, warrantless searches, torture, wholesale looting of the Treasury, detention without trial, and smearing of critics as traitors” thing…
u will wrot in hell len kayne
I’ll volunteer to man the pitchforking-bodies-into-the-Gulf patrol if the rest of Texas complies with this small mass suicide favor. Oh please, oh please, oh please, Mitt Romney Muslim Mormon Jesus, please give me this one wish!
StrangelyBrown: And our master is……?
StrangelyBrown: Not all of us, just the freepers. Smaller gene pools out there on brokeback mountain.
Dreamer: And she didn’t seem to have a clue as to what the ‘Nailin Palin’ reference was as she giggled her way through that segment. Or maybe she did know what it meant & that was her & Todd’s ticket to baby #6!
Gingah: Bitter… are you clinging to your latte and arugula?
We’re all considering mass suicide over on the chat, too: http://wonkette.chatango.com/
wonkettedisgustsme: You’re snark detector is apparently broken much like your competent-president detector. Don’t worry. I think Hopey covers that in his health plan.
When you come down to it, a mass suicide of McCain supporters probably isn’t that many people. But still I’d rather see them all just go away, maybe to Alaska and then secede or something?
wonkettedisgustsme: I guess you didn’t get my memo last night. I am reposting an abridged version for your benefit.
Attention pious ‘pug troll losers:
Please fuck right off back to townhall.com or wherever it is you vile fucktards hang out, nod and spew gibberish at each other. This site is for the terrorist Muslin followers of Hopey The Black Arab a.k.a. the next President Of The United States. Posting here is for “reality-based” thinkers and that means you don’t qualify.
I am tired of arguing with you ignorant, racist troglodytes. You morans aren’t educated enough for us to waste the time. All one has to do is look at the misspellings and bad grammar inherent to most wingnut troll posts. If you cannot point out Iran, Iraq or Afghanistan on a globe or if you pronounce “Eye-raq,” “Eye-ran”or “nuc-u-lar” like Smirky McFlightsuit or Mooselini, then shut your filthy pieholes and make your point walking away from us, idiots.
I’ll tell you what is TRULY “absolutely disgusting”: bringing a retarded child into the world knowing that it will never be able to take care of itself or have a normal life just to validate your nutty God-botherer credentials to the other nutty God-botherers.
That’s reprehensible and absolutely disgusting, yo.
Well, the latte, at least, dammit…
Dreamer: The thing that kills me about it is the obvious Pepe LePew/Inspector Clouseau accent. I mean, ‘unting from a ‘elicopters…man. It digs out some good stuff from her though (her plans to win in eight years, etc.). Genius. You mean I can just call her up and pretend to be Gordon Brown (or Charlie Christ) and she’ll just take teh call? Bizarre.
smellyal8r: I am with you on this one.
Gingah: I am with you that it is totally warranted to be angry about all of those things. But I have to believe that our new administration will clean house and restore law and order. I will be disillusioned with Hopey if he does not investigate the robbery of the American Treasury by the Bush and Cheney and all the illegal activities committed like politicizing our justice.
I am sorry for being a kill joy.
wonkettedisgustsme: McCain supporters kill themselves, doo dah, doo dah, McCain supporters kill themselves, all the dooo dah day. Gonna rot all night, gonna rot all day, You McCain supporters shouldn’t kill yourselves, at least wait until Tuesday.
(sung to Camptown Racetrack)
Is it so wrong I like music?
Cheer up, Idisgustyou. You still have eight years of great memories.
grendel: Look on the bright side, it will be a boon to medical schools, butcher’s apprentices, and necrophiliacs. Hey, I’m an optimist all of the sudden?!?!!
smellyal8r: Crist. Sorry.
agitpropster: We only leave trolls around for you guys’ amusement — to kick around, etc. When you get bored by anyone, just shoot us an email and we are happy to ban anyone who is not providing lulz, either directly or indirectly.
Dreamer: Oh, c’mere, ya big lug! *mwah*
2druk2phluq: If it is going to be a purple shroud, black Nike kind of deal, wouldn’t Monday be better?
smellyal8r: Are you implying that they would perform coitus together? It is against the GOP standards and practices for two adults to consensually enjoy each others crotches. ALL REPUBLICAN SEX ACTS MUST INVOLVE AN INNOCENT CHILD! WAKE UP PEOPLE!
wonkettedisgustsme: Presently I’m trying to pleasure myself with my off hand, turned backwards, so it looks like it belongs to another person. I’m really not enjoying it and I don’t see it ending well. Can that be a substitute for rotting in hell? Just for tonight? Because it feels like it.
Ken Layne: John 19:15 KJV - “But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him.”
grendel: Wait. Dang, there’s a chat, too?
Gingah: Nice use of the Bible God herself wrote.
Let’s hope they don’t all commit suicide. It’s a mortal sin, which means they’d all go to hell - and since that’s apparently where we’re all headed - we’d be stuck with them for eternity.
Crab1: Well, certainly an innocent teen (or a hot cop who drew the “lucky” duty at the Minneapolis airport)
agitpropster: are you sure you’re getting your proper dosage of liquids…? I recommend more of these Cuba Libres - doctor’s orders!
Texan Bulldoggette: I don’t blame her for not knowing that because I didn’t know about it either but I blame her for believing that a president of a nation will have that kind of stupid discussion with her. She does not even know the name of Canada’s PM – I thought she could see Canada from her window. She is so clueless and her staff are beyond incompetent.
StrangelyBrown: slow clap
Custerwolf: Oh, I don’t know… whatever organization or group — a political party, perhaps — that had, until recently, the unswerving support of white people and pretty much no one else.
But then the distemper hit, and now they’re just mad, and they don’t care who they bite.
agitpropster: Hold on, wait now. A fact of life is that we are all retarded in this world. None of us can take care of ourselves all the time and our ‘normal lives’ are pretty messed up. No person with Down Syndrome is to blame for the major ills of the world.
Retardedness is only a matter of degree. The more competent and capable the retard, the more they have the capacity for epic destruction. No? This isn’t a anti-abortion argument, this is a chill-the-f*ck-out case I’m trying to make.
Peace.
Thank you Sarah Palin, thank you.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/01/masked-avengers-prank-cal_n_140023.html
Cain’t we all just get along??
Dreamer: No offense but her staff should have absolutely known a porn movie was being made in her likeness. (They could have discovered that by going to just about any mainstream web site.) Their job is to know EVERY little thing out there in the media about their candidate. But yeah, I agree with everything else you said.
smellyal8r: <–Southern boy - raised on the stuff…
StrangelyBrown: That usually means it’s time to bring out the ‘pink juice’…. and Fluffy crosses over the rainbow bridge.
agitpropster: It’s true. Shepard Smith is not of this world. Seriously. I mean I really have always thought he was an alien. Really.
Crab1: I’ve had slow clap in the past. Man, it took a lot of time and money to clear up…
wonkettedisgustsme: Oops, sorry - we’ll try and do better.
BRAAAAAAHHH HAR HA HA HA HA HA HARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! cough cough
No mass suicides! I want them to live in harmonious communism forever and experience live televised abortions on primetime teevee!
Dreamer: They will not be able to undo all the shameful sins of the W’s. Obama is not going to “untorture” anybody our government tortured in the name of Freedom. He can’t bring back all the people who died in the floods of Katrina. We’ve been the Los Angeles Clippers of the world for the past 8 years and some things just can’t be undone. So, in that respect, anger is justified.
/dick joke
smellyal8r: I was thinking the same thing. Actually my first thought was how did they get her number? Imagine if someone called her and pretended to be Gadaffi or the Ahmadinejad. I wonder about how she would have reacted to that. Just imagine that conversation!
Crab1: But we can try! Try to improve our image in the world! Maybe do a show or bake some cookies for our “allies”. Where’s that Amazon Karen Hughes these days? Isn’t that what she was working on? We can just pick up her work and…oh, I see. Yes. we are hated. Our Rainbow Unicorn will have his work cut out for him.
Crab1: I agree!
Street Organizer: Street Organizer? Isn’t that just another name of crack slingin’ and loose nuke dealer?
wheelie: In defense of agitpropster, I think his/her point about the Down Syndrome child was that once Sarah/Todd are dead, who is going to ensure the health, safety, well being of Trig? I assume his care will be left to older/younger siblings, but what if they don’t care? What then–will he be a 50 year old bag boy at the local grocery store ripe for being taken advantage of & mocked by asshole Alaskan teenagers? I think the point was for Ma & Pa Palin to think about how their decisions would affect something greater than themselves–that’s all.
Just curious -what’s with the picture of McCain re-inacting the time he stuck his tongue on a frozen light pole?
Dreamer: I guess the whole thing is real, right? I do wonder if the call was some YouTube prank just for kicks. I think in the real world the aide would take a number, have it vetted, then call it back. I’m thinking ” ‘Allow luv, Gordon Brown calling from 10 Downing Street and ‘ow are you this fine day?”
Dreamer: The Clippers fired their long time GM this year…
Street Organizer: After 8 years of this bullshit: No, absolutely not.
Obama must smite the wicked with his beatdown stick of righteousness. So it has been written, so let it be done.
Custerwolf: Actually that is the “nominee” for “President” leaving the third and final “debate”. Being chased with a butterfly net would be about right.
Custerwolf: He just got a taste of his trollop’s cunt.
Texan Bulldoggette: “I think the point was for Ma & Pa Palin to think about how their decisions would affect something greater than themselves–that’s all.”
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…. [wipes tears from eyes]…..I’m sorry….it’s just the concept of Sarah or Todd THINKING about anything - or that they’d ever consider the possibility of something being greater than themselves…it’s too much, really.
Perhaps they would like Jim Jones’ Kool-Aid recipie.
Ken Layne: Is it wrong that i am turned on by Ken’s diabolical powers?
Crab1: I’ve heard Cindy’s so cold every time she spreads her legs the furnace kicks in.
smellyal8r: Unfortunately it is real – those two clowns do that on regular bases but they’ve never been that successful. Canadians have a knack for embarrassing American politicians. I don’t know if you recall Rick Mercer (a popular comedian) telling Bush that Canada’s PM Jean Poutine was supporting him – of course Poutine is a popular Quebecois French fries topped with fresh cheese curds, covered with brown gravy …here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seYUbVa7L7w
Crab1: sorry I am not getting that!
Totowa: You mean the one that calls for 9 parts stupid to 1 part retarded?
Custerwolf: I know. I like to think they aren’t totally morally bankrupt when it comes to this little boy, although I know they have no problem using him as a political prop. Sheesh…I just need another beer.
Totowa: hmmmmm, yes, clever.
I hope McCain’s campaign becomes the standard teaching material in poly sci and history courses. How a man once thought honorable sinks so low that even his former associates are disgusted. How the Rovian/Atwater tactics self-imploded. How America moved beyond trash and went for substance. I can dream, can’t I?
Texan Bulldoggette: Ok, fair point about the parents putting self-satisfying principle first. But if I was to make a charge against the Palins’ conduct in their family life, I’d only point to their shotgun wedding plans for Bristol and Levi. A typical “Oh what would the neighbors say” reaction.
I just don’t believe it is cruel to give birth to a child who has Down Syndrome, because many I have known live a happy, fulfilling life.
Who will care for Trig when he’s 50? I dunno. Who will care for me, for that matter?
So anyway, I conclude my warm humanitarian statement by saying again, those McCain supporters should definitely hop off a bridge, coz the are retarded (by choice.)
I didn’t watch any teevee today except few minutes of David Shuster so can anyone let me know if Hopey’s aunt’s story getting huge coverage?
Deepthroat: or the republicans can all buy sneakers and wait for Comet Hale-Bopp to return.
Dreamer: Seems like a non starter. McCain’s camp surprisingly called it a “family matter” and left it at that.
wonkettedisgustsme: Welcome, classes will begin on November 5, 2008, i think your a wee bit early.
Dreamer: Blow job in 3..2..1 awwwwwwwwwwww!
rambone: All G-d’s people say amen.
Dreamer: I think Brit Hume will be moderating a debate between Auntie and Joe the Plumber on Fox News tomorrow morning, if that answers your question.
chascates: You’re to something there. This is starting to sound Shakespearean or Sophoclesean.
Is Walnuts going to poke his own eyes out when this is over?
wheelie: Sarah & Todd are the worst parents out there — in close races with moms who sleep with their kids’ friends & let them hang out unmonitored with the ‘nice Sunday School teacher’.
Their reaction to letting Bristol marry a guy who won’t even finish high school is probably typical for people of their same societal mind-think. I guess the morale of the story is that kids suffer tremendously when their parents are dumber than a bag of rock salt.
wonkettedisgustsme: Ha ha, we don’t want you guys to kill yourselves. An Obama administration is your worst nightmare and we want you to live it.
Plus, like Barry, I am a secret Muslin and I will get many virgins someday for helping change “I pledge allegiance to the flag” to “There is no god but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet.”
Crab1: Does that mean we can actually think about Hopey winning? I am so afraid that something will ruin this.
palmerdawg: You should share the wealth with the bitters – in fact this should be part of Hopey’s national service call to elevate their spirits.
I’m in the tank, and I am not getting laid. This is because I am currently stuck in West Virginia. HELP ME.
vintageways: Oh dear god. Isn’t there a cream for that? Somebody help this poor man! (woman?)
Since it’s late and nobody will notice my blatant blogwhoring, here is my nearly all-true candidate comparison:
http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2008/10/foma-central-election-special.html
Find the falsehooods.
itgetter: Woman. And I spent most of my time in West Virginia’a Austin, where we told people we were from Virginia and were blissfully unaware of the bitterz. Now I know.
wonkettedisgustsme: glenn beck disgusts me but i don’t listen to him…much less create an account and log in.
By the way, I love abortions!
vintageways:
You gotta tip-toe outta Wes Virginy.
vintageways: You don’t have any cousins that can help you out with that problem?
The McCain skit was really funny, but then again we already knew McCain was pretty good at comic delivery (Chelsea Clinton is ugly lolz). Pretty high-concept skit for a political candidate, and he pulled it off. When he loses he should do a full episode like Steve Forbes did.
Bloody hell — the Straight Talk Express just made Sarah Palin into roadkill on SNL.
vintageways: Oh, so you aren’t one of the Real West Virginians then.
Pop Socket: Not any attractive ones. I do have standards, you know. Plus, I’m vorting for Hopey, so it would only be hate sex at best.
StrangelyBrown: Faux News, now that is a group suicide waiting to happen. If Hopey wins I think several Fox personalities should be put on suicide watch.
I told a babe tonight that I support Obama ——and BLAMO! Instant LAID!
Ninjas Are Everywhere: he was actually funny. I think he gets that he has no prayer in hell.
itgetter: I’m not even a real Virginian. It’s amazing I exisit at all.
Also, did anyone just see Kristen Wiig imitate Elizabeth Hasselback? I don’t know if I was more impressed with her or Kenan as Whoopie. (I may have misspelled 3 of those 4 names)
Affleck is nailing Keithy on SNL.
And Affleck does a perfectly vicious Olbermann.
Smithers: They… they took everything sir.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I don’t usually advocate suicide, but… if you were to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.
itgetter: They were all good except the one imitating Jennifer Ansiton – she was horrid.
Did anyone else think the Olbermann skit was a tad long. I think the special comment was sufficient.
Well, of course McCain supporters are overwhelmed, you can’t keep trotting out all of these false idols for them to worship in such a short space of time and not expect a little confusion!
Sarah The Palin, Joe The Plumber, Tito The Builder, John The Tortured, it’s like being at the Hometown Buffet when they’re restocking the metal tubs of slop. It’s all out of a can, rank and disgusting, but since they saw being wheeled out of a back room, they think it’s fresh and new and stuff their pieholes anyway.
Dreamer: Olbermann skit was definitely too long, as evidenced by a couple of 45-second stretches of jokeless exposition. But then again, Keith is pretty hard to nail down. Hammond’s Matthews was definitely more spot-on, but they used the now-more-famous Olbermann pretty well.
BTW, since this thread is already hijacked, and PoliTacky referenced him, I heard a hilarious right-wing radio faux pas regarding Tito the Builder today. Tammi Bruce was talking about some radical-if-you-squint-until-your-eyes-are-closed clip of Obama, in which he used the word “Chicano”. After ridiculous Obama’s gratuitously correct elitist pronunciation of the word, she said “There’s at least one Chicano who doesn’t support Obama - Tito the Builder!”
Sadly, I was the only person in Tammi’s audience at that time who realized that “Chicano” refers to Mexican Americans (Tito is Colombian), or that there is actually a difference between Colombia and Mexico.
wonkettedisgustsme: Asalam Alakum Comrade! Whitey’s gonna pay our taxes!
For eight years I’ve been bored, angry, depressed, listless, resigned, enraged–but were the Repugs getting laid? Doesn’t seem fair–to them, as they were probably scoring with other Repugs. Ewwww, gag me with a policy that goes against my own interests. Anyway, it’s time we Dems get a chance to increase OUR STD counts. That’s only fair, no matter which America you live in.
lumpenprole: It’s “Asalaam Alaikum,” cuz! Call yourself a Muslin?
I’m slaving away on a Saturday night because on the surface I’m a diligent corporate drone and willing capitalist tool. Since I am obviously also (and secretly) in the tank for Hopey, in my mind I am constantly getting laid and plotting the downfall of Amerikka. CONSTANTLY.
Street Organizer: We can all get along when the Republicans are done drinking their McCain-Palin flavored kool-aid.
Dreamer: Actually, I’m the only one here getting laid. That’s why I’m so nice.
Ken Layne: Thanks for that info but I jes’ LOVE chasing foolhardy Bitters through teh village with torch and hounds. I just wanted to give props to the Wonketteers for the much-needed hilarity that they bring to my life every day. I am an Austin artist who has been baiting and insulting Hannity, O’Reilly, Coulter and the wingnut media from my blog since 2002. Occasionally I get help from celebrity moles in the terrorist Muslin media and make mad bank.
In the past five years I have never seen any online political discourse as thoughtful, intelligent, snarky, and just plain laugh-out-loud-funny as the timely posts on Wonkette. I was extremely intimidated by the world-class laff factor of the hysterically funny comments here and was afraid that my posts just weren’t Wonkette-quality, or worse - I would be held up to ridicule by unrepentantly witty, razor-sharp Wonkette wags.
I want to apologize to everyone here for seeming a little unhinged and swearing too much in my rant/posts the last couple of days…I am just sick to death of being angry since Florida 2000, aiiight? Wheelie is right - I just need to chill the fuck out. As far as Mooselini and Trig are concerned, Texan Bulldoggete was almost right - I think that poor kid is being used to pander to WALNUTS!’ Christard “base” and I think that is just vile, repugnant and pathetic. Thanks again, y’all, for being my daily hoot.
Peace Out from Travis Heights,
agitpropster
Surely you people don’t believe these polls.
wonkettedisgustsme: My friend, until McCain and his followers start giving a shit about our laws and our country, they have no basis for some of the “OMGSECRETMUSLIMTERRORIST!!!11!!” nonsense they spout off constantly.
I only hope that you are just as disgusted by Governor Palin’s remarks as well as some of the more “interesting” comments the supporters of the GOP ticket are saying. I would hate to think you were a hypocrite.
grendel: Maybe they’ll all follow their leader:
http://wizbangblue.com/2008/08/05/mccain-attempted-suicide-twice-but-wont-release-his-mental-health-records-during-this-campaign.php
War Eagle: I can hardly wait. I am in the Heart of Dick-sy.
And just in case you’re name means something sinister: ROLL THE HELL TIDE!!!!!
War Eagle: I had a vision Bama went blue… but then I let it go. Here in Huntsville at least, most of the car stickers I see are Obama stickers.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: I was wondering what that link was? Are you trolling Christian dating sites and praisin’ Jesus? Actually, I bet that’d work.
messickc: Oh, Huntsville — that is as Biden would put it, literally the Yankee part of Alabama, all those multicultural space engineers and the Flying Monkey Burning Nun Art Center. It’s OK, your state can turn blue next time.
Duh? Polls show that McCain supporters have already committed mass suicide. In Wasilla, this may be known as “Rapture”. Only the Public Works Department knows for sure.
messickc: Is there any task McCain can not fuck up?
agitpropster:
Forgive me. That’s the secret Muslin greeting. I’m sure it looks weird. It’s big among us crypto-socialist foreigners.
cal: I see your Henghnn?!? and raise you a HENGHNN?!?
My favorite part is the way Palin asked for the radio call letters. It was almost like “Ohhh I’m been pranked… Hey, do you happen to know your GPS coordinates? I can’t wait to call in my first air strike.”
Happy Fun Ball: Constipation!
I have a hard time keeping up with the changes in American idioms.
Is “Undecided Voter” a synonym for “Clueless Douchebag”?
I assume most of them routinely call in sick on Mondays because choosing an outfit for work is too big a decision (although I think most convenience stores still issue very smart looking smocks to their staffs).
they’re going through the five stages of grief that accompanies a terminal illness
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=E8O6Zz_aYjk
gurukalehuru: Greetings Mr/Ms Gurukalehuru, No, no Xtian dating sites for me. Most of my dates come from my YouTube videos. By the way, I understand that Republicans can pray their votes on Tuesday. Read this on the Internets, so it’s probably true.
agitpropster: …more buttseks, please…we’re suffering a serious buttseks shortage on this line…where’s that wonkettedisgustsme persona? say, wdm-persona, it’s early the next morning now, did you get your buttseks? we saved some up for you…
…christ, what a hangover…
Quarterback: Of course she’d want the call letters. The Secessionist Party in AK issues shortwave radios to all its members so they can pick up the rare Palin interviews, which generally contain coded instructions to their operatives.
Ode To McCain Supporters:
50 Ways To Snuff Your Blubber
The problem is all inside your head
I say to you
The answer is easy if you’re
Feeling sad and blue
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To snuff your blubber
Though it’s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To snuff your blubber
Fifty ways to leave your lover
CHORUS:
Exsanguination, Nathan
Rip an artery, Terry
Do the drown, Mr Brown
Just get yourself free
Electrocute, Newt
You don’t need to be hip or cute
Just self immolate, Jake
And get yourself free
It don’t grieve me much
If you follow Duke and Dutch
If there’s anything I can do
To help you be true and follow through
I know you’d appreciate that
And so I’ll one more time explain
About the fifty ways
You know you can just take
Sleeping pills so you don’t wake
Then in the morning
Our burden will be more light
So why don’t you kiss off
And realized taht I am right
There must be fifty ways
To snuff your blubber
Fifty ways to snuff your blubber
CHORUS