Wonkette
OMG WTF OCTOBER SURPRISE everybody!!! Barack Obama has a number of paternal relatives, many of whom he has met once or not at all, because they come from a secret Marxist madrassa in the foreign city of Kenya, Africa. One of his Kenyan relatives is an aunt whom he has actually met a couple of times! She came to his swearing-in in the Senate in 2004 and has been living in Boston for a while, although he hasn’t heard from her for about two years.
It turns out that this beloved aunt is an Illegal Alien, which Barack Obama really should have known about, as it is customary among “real Americans” to conduct biennial immigration status checks on members of their extended family. So now this lady is going to be deported, maybe? For all his talk about compassion, Barack Obama has yet to process the immigration petitions of his many dozens of distant relatives he does not know very well.
Obama says he didn’t know aunt’s illegal status [AP]
So we’re not allowed to talk about McCain’s ex wife - it’s “PERSONAL”, but Hopey’s family is fair game. Asshole GOP!
Well. There goes the election.
Sorry, can’t say it with a straight face. Anyway, I hope Matt Drudge will inform the populace of this momentous fact.
Oh noz! Some lady Hopey barely knows is going to be deported! That’s it. I’m voting for that senile bastard and the crazy lady.
Please don’t tell me…”Jemima”?
Wait — Hopey’s not omniscient?! One by one these myths will go falling to pieces.
AlexTrebeksGirl: Five-and-a-half years, AlexTrebeksGirl!!!
CIA FACTBOOK: note: a large majority of Kenyans are Christian, but estimates for the percentage of the population that adheres to Islam or indigenous beliefs vary widely.
SEE! SEE! SEE! They’re all secret Muslims; the lot of them!
Awww Lawdy, Massa McCain done gone and saved me! I’s about to vote fo’ da black man, but den he come and told me bout this awful thing! Awwww lawdy! Praise jesus!
I, for one, welcome our new illegal alien overlords.
So. This is the Aunty Christ.
AlexTrebeksGirl: Rerax girl, all these “let me just whip this out” moments aren’t going to change a thing, and GOOPERS will be GOOPERS…and by “GOOPERS”, I mean “LOSERS”…
You know, I’ve seen this multiple places, and I don’t get it.
The most common comment is
“If BHO can’t take care of his aunt who lives in A SLUM, how’s he gonna take care of you? WAKE UP AMERICA!!!11″
If he takes in and feeds his entire family, isn’t that socialism? Isn’t the entire premise of Walnuts campaign at this point being anti-socialism?
Also, I apologize for the lack of snark, but dammit we’re 3 days out from this shit ending, and I don’t want anything fucking this up.
Darehead: Epic win.
Darehead: Oh..Darehead.
Darehead: F’ing brilliant
Darehead:
I’m also in the tank for Darehead.
(Kevo, you are fucking with my head with yet another avatar, now can I have some “TP for my bunghole”)
AlexTrebeksGirl: This is the Southern Strategy again, done to rile up the bitterz. Oh noes, the people of color are bankrupting our bitter world!
My fantasy is Hopey flies straight to Boston, meets with her, then tells the press that yes, she’ll have to do as the authorities say because it is the right thing to do. Then he puts his face directly in the camera and gruffly snorts, “McCain, get your nose out of my family.”
Curious that AP broke the story. They are such a 21st century news powerhouse. And who is kissing whose butt at Immigration? Maybe Lou Dobbs?
Give the Palins time; if they keep multiplying, they can eventually outnumber Obama’s vast extended family on his father’s side…
Even turncoat Fox-Newser Juan Williams wondered aloud on NPR this morning who at ICE, or whatever they’re called these days, coughed up this info to Karl Rove.
I wonder when they are going to unveil Bin Laden? Not much time left. Betcha McCain wishes he’d been a bit nicer to Chimpy all these years. Remember the Maine!
Darehead: Wow! That is a good one.
Just think, if McCain could import all of the little bastards he had out of wedlock in foreign countries while in the Navy, and then have them signed up to vote by Acorn, this election would be fair.
Wait, I thought the problem was with illegal Mexican immigrants, not Kenyans?
Obama won’t apologize for his large extended … what?
Ironically, under McCain’s immigration plan, she would be able to stay.
He’s just keeping her in the US so she can clean the White House when Barry’s elected. Geez, he’s just trying to help a sister out.
V572625694: Did you see him go after Hannity? Also the house of cards begins to fall? http://www.bradblog.com/?p=6600
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKUC-jpJ_kQ
Funny Palin shit.
Rush: win
DoctorCulturae: You’re right. Again. Twice on Saturday! I wish someone would point out that McCain throws money at his family messes, but obama just lets ‘em be. Where’s John’s ex anyway.
Obama rightly states that families are off limits. GOP says fuck that we want to win. And America can’t see this?
Darehead: Brilliant
I know Mex-Americans who have illegal alien relatives! Are those Mex-Amers now disqualified to ever becoming prez?
WonkaBee: OK, cue lurid, mid-afternoon fantasies…
Darehead: Darehead came out of nowhere and won Wonkette 2008!
This may cause some of you to jizz yourselves. Thank you Dick! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0P96mRce4U
Slim: Well, Obama’s relatives are black, so it’s totally different.
Nathalie08: Yes.
Oh no! BREAKING NEWS!!!! Barack Obama used his pull in Washington to grease his relatives’ way through immigration! What an outrage! How dare he! Insufferable arrogance!
But wait! No! His aunt is illegal! Barack Obama refused to use his pull in Washington to aid his suffering kin! What an outrage! How dare he ignore them! Insufferable arrogance!!
Seriously, isn’t this just one more attempt to show that the man’s black? Just in case folks have missed it to date? Remember, when you go into that voting booth, you’re voting for John McCain or a black man.
The point is to show that he has (gasp! shudder!) relatives from (darkest) Africa?? Living in (horrors! the shame!) low income housing (which is, everyone knows, full of teh black)!
Even worse, in contrast to the sleek, sophisticated, elegant cafe-au-lait millionaire Barack Obama, old Auntie looks tired, worn out, beat down (and black).
Who IS Barack Obama? Under that sleek exterior, is he really a beat down old Auntie from Africa? Is he trying to dazzle us with his slick suits, his handsome exterior? Will the American people be fooled??? Fool me once, fool me twice . . . what the fuck ever. (HE’S BLACK HE’S BLACK HE’S BLACK!!!!)
Jiminy Christmas, I hate these people. HATE them.
If Barry was a devious politician he would have paid her money long time ago and sent her to Canada. He just does not know how to game the system like the Bushes. What a loser.
So we’re on to Islamomarxists now?
AlexTrebeksGirl: Not quite having that effect for me.
Wyoming native Cheney campaigning in Laramie — that’s fearless! This should tip Wyoming towards McCain.
AlexTrebeksGirl: Meh.
What’s all the coughing about Dick?
[he coughs, then suddenly speaks an octave lower, menacingly]: “I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since.”
If she weighs more than a duck, BURN HER!!! SHE’S A WITCH!!! BUUUURRNN HER!!!
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/11/1/13282/9648/899/648958
Yet another Luo blow.
cal: I, for one, welcome our new commenting overlord…
J-Man: Wait! A challenger!
V572625694: It’s ok. Probably better that way. I just think it’s great that Wyoming is a “sure bet”.
V572625694: Yeah, old Dick don’t look so good. I feel just awful.
So… uh… Obama’s now responsible not only for the actions of a few people he’s met casually, but every loser fuckup in his family tree? I think this a losing strategy for McCain, as most of his supporters are the loser fuckups the rest of their families are embarrassed of.
V572625694: Because if there’s anybody out there who is more popular than President Bush, it’s Dick Cheney.
Who leadked the story? It’s illegal tp begin with. I hope if Barry wins, he orders an investigation and punish some people.
Ho hummm. He’s got some crazy aunt who lives illegally in Boston and will be shipped home. Reminds all the newly legal immigrants they they could have been shipped home as well and under a McCain administration will be no matter what with our English as an Only Language laws.
Nathalie08: There you go, im going to say rove had a hand
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/11/1/13282/9648/899/648958
Big Ass Belle: go visit Hillaryis44.com. They’re going off about Barry’s old parking tickets.
Big Ass Belle: Succinct, baby!
I’m just sick of this shit. Republicans can never,never,never win on issues. It always has to misdirection,shinny objects and bull shit. Atwater is dead, Rove should be shipped to Gitmo.
I can’t wait for the Palin victory party, Ritz crackers, cheese whiz, Budwiser and no condoms.
So unfair. She wouldn’t even BE in America if she weren’t driven out of her village by the Rev. Thomas Muthee.
Jeff Gordon just won first pole at the Dickies 500. Shit ya’ll, that’s the kinda news stories we wanna masturbate to down here in real America…
Please tell me that’s not a photo-shop job, he looks cooler than John Coltrane. Plus I’ll bet he’s back on the cancer sticks by the end of ‘09.
Darehead: You’re the one.
Wait a minute folks…did you read the whole article. His possibly illegal alien aunti is living in PUBLIC HOUSING, is a VOLUNTEER and she travels back and forth to Kenya several times a year so she says. Hey, I am in that middle income bracket whom he and his big-mouthed wife want to share the wealth with others. I can’t afford to fly to Kenya at all. So, am I to assume that he wants me to share the wealth so more of his illegal relatives can get wealthy enough on the public dole to fly back and forth?
Gosh golly, I live in a tiny 3 bedroom, old ranch that needs many repairs. I drive a 12 year old car and my kids can’t get college loans cause I make too much. Fortunately I rent, so don’t have the morgage company trying to take my house away. Maybe I should just buy into his Change and Hope preaching…
Nah, maybe I should just move foreign, give up the citizenship that several of my antecedents (including native american) fought for me to enjoy. Then I could move back as an illegal, live much richer on the public dole and be able to travel abroad. Ohhh, and I’d have medical coverage then also…wouldn’t I? You know it’s limiting being on medicare as a citizen. And the old social security doesn’t stretch as far when you got to share it with folks that didn’t make life-long contributions to these programs…sighhhh. What to do, what to do.
I know what I am not going to do…vote for a fellow that wants me to “share” what I already can’t afford to share.
barack should win. check this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGF-HEd6XnA
Darehead: Can I study at your knee?
StrangelyBrown: Who knew that Ann Coulter calling Edwards a “fag” would be the height of Republican rhetoric this election cycle.
Well, I’m convinced. Get a rope!
arcticgranny: So you’re making OVER $250,000 a year?
Because an Obama tax plan would ONLY increase the current tax rate for people making OVER $250,000 per year.
Go to http://taxcut.barackobama.com/ and plug in your ACTUAL salary and number of children. And then shut the fuck up.
arcticgranny: DEY TOOK URR JERBS
Darehead: Wow. That was beautiful.
arcticgranny: Love it or leave it, bitch!
But seriously though if she could become a citizen, she could get jobs that aren’t under the table.
And where the fuck did you pull the “she travels back and forth to Kenya several times a year so she says” out of?
Your mind’s slipping, granny.
arcticgranny: You really should do less crack, maybe you could afford trips to Kenya, too. They’d love your ass there.
arcticgranny: Oh, and HAHAHAHAH! Yeah, so she flies to and from Kenya, without a valid Visa? Again, lay off the crack.
Gopherit v2.0: Sounds more like meth, gosh golly…
Gopherit v2.0: AND SHE DRIVES AROUND IN HER WELFARE CADILLAC WHILE MY CHILDREN HAVE TO LIVE IN A RANCH
Yeah, that public housing is really palacial. What an entitled and intellectually dishonest turd of a bigot. Because she’s black, because she’s a foreigner, it doesn’t really matter.
Crab1: She can live completely tax free when Alaska is a country.AIP!!
arcticgranny: You also think Abomma’s a Jer?
arcticgranny: I’d vote for you to ‘move foreign’.
arcticgranny: Nah, maybe I should just move foreign, give up the citizenship that several of my antecedents (including native american) fought for me to enjoy.
So, are you talking about your Native American ancestors fighting for freedom from the United States as they were gradually and brutally conquered by white settlers or enjoying the benefits of collective ownership of casino profits today? Or both?
And as for “moving foreign,” I hear it’s totally the latest money saving trend!
Maus: No, no, I’m sure she’s just as mad at the approximately 25,000 illegal immigrant Irish still living in the Boston and New York areas and benefitting from public programs there…
Okay, um, am I the only one who thinks that if we ruined everybody’s career because a family member did something stupid that nobody in American would have a job?
Does this means we finally get to blame McCain for Cindy being an addict who stole the drugs from all the world’s children, including some Kenyan orphans who may be Obama’s 5th cousins twice removed, which basically means Cindy stole drugs from one of Auntie Obama’s babies and forced her to flee the country or something.
Also, (said in a Palinist accent), please change that stupid picture. I like my messiah looking handsome and fit, not strange and smoked out.
Also
Darehead: You make a fellow head proud.
win.
Neon Trotsky: Ooh Double-Anti-Racist-Snap! And you’re an electric marxist! I, officially, have a crush. Meet me in California, and we can redistribute our clothes.
Even if he did want to visit his aunt, he’d never be able to find a parking space on Old Colony Ave. in South Boston………
Rush: KevoTron: My name is Cornholio. Are you threatening me?
Thank Allah for the slow Saturday news cycle–until you fuckers had to fan the flames. Now this definitely will be all over Drudge, ya bastids.
Neon Trotsky: Come on! We can take the kenyans, but the irish? Get those lazy bastard on the next potato boat out of here!!!
She’s here illegally? Hey, I’ve got an idea! Maybe McCain can get her a diplomatic passport, just like he got for Cindy! I mean, if a diplomatic passport allows you to smuggle stolen drugs into the U.S., surely it’ll let a person just remain in the country. C’mon, Walnuts, have a heart!
I am just saying, it should have a big head spliff.
Does that cunt Cindy really have a diplomatic passport?
BruceLee5000: That would make a great campaign ad, just plug your figures in and shut the fuck up.
Half aunt? The rethugs are going after half’s now?
arcticgranny: I too have ancestors of Native american decent and funny thing, they never bitched about anything. They just did their thing, helped others when they could and minded their own business.
My son was also turned down for a college loan. What did he do? He got a job and is putting himself through college. Imagine that.
Nah! Don’t buy into Obama’s Change and Hope, just sit around and bitch about the lousy way YOUR Government is treating you. Goodness sakes man, MOVE ON!
the invisible woman: I absolutely agree with you on the picture. I do not like that picture – it does not say “The One.” Can we also blame this woman’s asylum on Sarah Palin’s Reverend – he ran some woman out of her village, who says that woman is not Obama’s aunt.
At least she isn’t an illegal extraterrestrial Alien. NASA is too broke for that sort of deportation job. They’d have to turn to India to launch her back into space.
palmerdawg: Yeah, Walnuts got her a diplomatic passport for her charity work. Because it was much better to steal from the overseas drug supplies, then bypass customs when she came back to the U.S. (”diplomats” don’t have to go through customs like the rest of us).
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/1994-09-08/news/opiate-for-the-mrs
Wow, Obama has seven half siblings by his dad alone? Christ, he must know what the McCain kids feel like.
“Onyango was instructed to leave the country by a U.S. immigration judge who denied her asylum request, a person familiar with the matter told the AP. This person spoke on condition of anonymity because no one was authorized to discuss Onyango’s case.”
Great, so no one was legally allowed to talk about the case, so they did it anyway. Classy.
BruceLee5000: Word. Although granny’s rambling, incoherent post makes me wonder whether she really means to vote for Obama or for the fucking redistributionist–the one who, like President Asswipe, steals from the poor and gives to Goldman Sachs. That’s not change I can believe in–unless you’re in their tax bracket, in which it is chump change.
Oh, and granny, while you’re not here, because you’re scared away by those who possess the ability to think for themselves: why do you think that honest work (wages) should be taxed at a higher rate than gambling (or, put another way, managing hedge funds or masturbating over your Ameritrade account)?
Christ, if she is from the arctic, they’re really growin’ ‘em stupid up there.
But now, where will Bostonians buy their Tom Jones bootlegs?
(In my time in Madrid, I remember the West African immigrants operating the pirated music stands on the curbside by the Atocha Station (since bombed, by Moroccans; the cd vendors were darker, prolly Ivorian, or some such).)
robsv: Yet she kept all that south American shit to herself or maybe she can get some of that world wide war on terror shit from Afghanistan, anyhoo.
Obama doesn’t have to check on the immigration status of his aunt but he does have to check on the citizenship status of donors to his campaign. When she gave money to his campaign, she broke the law and he broke the law by taking it.
Canmon (the Inadequate): McDarkseid tried to suck the dick of the Russkis for 70K, talk to me!
Dreamer: MYSTERY SOLVED!!! Please let’s blame this on Sarah Palin and her witchdoctoring priest!!
Obama is too thin to be a “real American.” He looks like he eats a lot of French food.
That spot under the bus is getting kinda crowded.