Wonkette
- John McCain campaigned lustily in Ohio yesterday, a state which is “pretty irritated” that “some other states are trying to supplant our role as the decider,” said one Ohio pollster. Can somebody just make Ohio go away, please? [New York Times]
- The Daily Show garnered record ratings with its guest star Wednesday night, a Hawaiian unicorn who can heal the lame and the halt just by looking at them in a very dignified manner. [Guardian]
- Many pollsters and analysts remain skeptical that John McCain can make a comeback this late in the race, with so many battleground states in play. [Bloomberg]
- Barack Obama is making a last-minute push to turn out Democrats in six states George Bush won in 2004. [New York Times]
- Northeastern India was hit by a series of coordinated terrorist attacks on Thursday, and at least 71 people were killed. [Voice of America]
- A recent outbreak of violence in the Congo ebbed at least temporarily with a cease-fire, but soldiers still spent the evening raping and pillaging in the northeastern city of Goma. [Los Angeles Times]
The unicorn meme is awful. Stop.
Ohio…we’re all Joe the Plumbers now.
Just been loving CNBC going wild with denial… apparently Wall Street desperately wants to be Joe the Plumber…
Even though I’ve never been there, I really hate Ohio.
About Obama on the Daily Show…ok, I love Obama. I really truly do. I think he’s going to do amazing things for our country, and I genuinely believe he is a charismatic and compelling speaker.
However…the man really isn’t a funny guest. Alright, I said it. He’s a bit awkward even, though that dorkiness is pretty endearing. Hell, it’s all endearing. I love the man.
But, he probably should never consider a career in stand up comedy.
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com
Ugh, I’m consistently ashamed. I really think we’re going to get it right this time, but we will certainly not be the deciders. PA and VA results will be in earlier than our fucktard system, which will end the election for all intents and purposes.
Ohio lost its right to decide anything in 2004; go choke on Virginia’s dick, Ohio.
“John McCain campaigned lustily in Ohio yesterday …”
Thanks. I wasn’t planning on having any sexual urges for the next decade anyways.
Ohio’s the not-that-pretty girl who thinks she’s a supermodel. You try to chat her up and you get the cold shoulder and then when you leave with your balls in hand, she turns to her less purty than her girlfriend (I’m looking at you Indiana) and says “How dare he even think he can even talk to me?”
But when the slick talking, chisel jawed pretty boy even nods in her direction, she’s off in a flash trying to do everything to get his attention. Of course, pretty boy notices and puts her in the “maybe” pile so when he gets rejected by all the hotties in the bar, he’ll take her home for three minutes of heaven (for him.)
You know it will end badly. For the next week after election Ohio will call and leave messages on pretty boy’s answering machine, “Why won’t you call me? Am I JUST A FLING TO YOU? I LUUUUUVE YOU!”
Meanwhile pretty boy will listen, laugh and delete the messages hoping she will forget two or four years later.
All you need to know about Ohio is what I learned yesterday…Peter Frampton lives outside Cincinnati….and he’s the coolest guy to have ever lived in Ohio. And that is sad for both Ohio and Peter Frampton. Who was pissy about someone stealing his Obama signs. Which should have made someone get a vocoder out and sing, “Dude, you live in OHIO!” Dipshit.
Tommy Says Soooo: Frampton ain’t shit. I’ve got Ted Nugent.
mikejacksonsthriller:
Why not?
Who’s the mythical beast who came out of nowhere, slew the Hilsbot and is currently stomping the grapes of McCain backed by the Rove Machine? And happens to be black, er, biracial? And seems to be a decent person? And a wife he really likes to bang? And down to earth? And really fucking smart? And some followers who are downright scary in their love for him?
That would be Obama, the black unicorn.
ManchuCandidate: Wouldn’t that be the milk chocolate unicorn? I want a milk chocolate unicorn candy for Election day.
I can’t say that I’ll lose any sleep about whining Ohioans.
“I know the last time anyone was elected president of the United States without carrying the state of Ohio was John F. Kennedy.”
And we all know how THAT turned out.
Tommy Says Soooo:
David Thomas, Jim Jarmusch, Robert Pollard, Mark Mothersbaugh, Someone Who Was on a Star Trek, Craig Wedren, Halle Berry, The Wright Brothers.
Seriously? I’m from Ohio, have never ruined an election, and am a pretty cool dude. The fact that we do have idiots in our state, just like every single other state of the union, does not mean we’re all idiots. So I would take it as a personal favor if the ridiculous amounts of unwarranted hate toward a few million people would, you know, stop.
Seriously.
februarymakeup:
It’s all those old fucks in Parma.
Has Joe the Plummer been offered a cabinet position yet?
Anybody who is still undecided is a retard. States with large numbers of undecided voters, therefore, are states with large numbers of retards.
Retards complaining about other states taking away their title of “Most retarded state in the country” is seriously, you know, retarded.
If you live in Ohio and you are not a retard, please disregard this comment.
No shit Obama got great ratings for “The Daily Show”: http://tinyurl.com/6oxkay
Yes, let’s make Ohio go away! And I live there!
februarymakeup: Apparently Servo isn’t losing any sleep.
The Pumpernickel: it was the time lapse from the feed, couple with the audience never knowing how to react, coupled with Stewart always cutting off answers and drowning someone’s answers with his own “joke”.
Hey now, be nice to Ohio. I don’t give a fuck about Joe the Plumber, and I don’t appreciate being pigeon-holed. Also, everyone needs to learn how to spell P-L-U-M-B-E-R.
Somewhere along the line everyone’s favorite Mavericks managed to make the country believe that we’re all just a bunch of blue-collar idiots (no offense to blue collar workers, nothing but love), but there are a lot of smart, educated, and artsy people in Ohio (esp. Columbus–OW!), so back off!
Hey, Ohioans, suck it! You screwed it up in the last TWO Presidential elections. Take your whining to Daily Kos. Sheesh. Your greatest cultural moment is some fat tuba player dotting the “i” in Ohio which shows that, unlike West Virginia, you’re barely literate.
So until you turn out for Hopey, you can all bone John Boehner. Oh, yeah, he’s from OHIO.
Morans.
magic titty: True, but Barry’s retelling of the side-splitting hilarity of his daughter’s “you cancelled my Nickelodeon? Oh no you dint” moment, went over like a shit balloon. Michelle told it better and earlier. More Michelle!
InsidiousTuna: I keep forgetting which one kills everything he eats. Can you shoot arugula with a bow and arrow?
Can’t the same bellweather shit be said of Missouri and Maine and random counties throughout the country? I’m so sick of reading about Ohio. To echo somebody else, you proved what kind of incompetent fucks you are in 2004. Now get out of my face.
…
Oh, just kiddin’! You guys are like a lovable retarded cousin–we know we should be ashamed of you, but yr just so darn CUTE!
Ohio gave us Guided by Voices, so I spare it’s life.
Cape Clod: TownHallers and Redstaters want this to happen badly. Seriously. You see, I’m disappointed that Obama hasn’t mentioned anti-inbreeding policy. It’s an important topic.
Cape Clod: No, but WALNUTS! offered him a sink position.
The Pumpernickel: Good thing we have Joe Biden providing the comic relief.
ManchuCandidate: Now THAT’S political insight.
Servo: “Parma?!?!” — The Ghoul
Condiments-Only Diet: Tommy Says Soooo:februarymakeup: Don’t forget Drew Carey. Ew.
The Pumpernickel: Dude, we’ve had a fucking comedian of a president for the last eight years. How’s that been going for ya?
Cleveland Rocks.
hopey just looked really freakin’ tired on the daily show. poor baby was exhausted. that, and desperately trying not to say anything that could be taken badly.