Wonkette
Could they just be competent for maybe one hour of a single day? First, we laughed as McCain called out in vain for his savior of the week, the utterly random showboating jackass “plumber” in Ohio, then we learned this Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher eventually showed up at a later rally and refused to endorse McCain, and now CNN is reporting that this bald-headed rat-eyed fame-crazed serial liar is publicly feuding with the McCain campaign, using the usual McCain campaign system of internal disputes: Blabbing to the press.
From CNN’s Political Ticker, posted before the guy finally showed up at the second rally:
But reached at his home by CNN’s Mary Snow, Wurzelbacher said it was “news to him” that he was supposed to be at the McCain rally. Wurzelbacher said nobody from the McCain campaign confirmed he was attending the event and called the incident a “miscommunication.”
Wurzelbacher also said he is headed to Philadelphia for a charity event unrelated to the campaign and has no plans to meet up with McCain today.
UPDATE: Contacted by CNN a second time, Wurzelbacher said the campaign only called him to confirm after the event in question already took place. He will now try to meet up with McCain later in the day.
Wurzelbacher also said he had gotten an initial call about coming to the morning rally, “but no one called back to confirm,” and was “not happy” that McCain had called out his name and he wasn’t there.
Let this sink in for a moment. While it’s true that the McCain-Palin campaign is literally about a different thing every few hours, the “Joe the Plumber” obsession has been somewhat regular since the last debate. The McCain campaign website, once a grim Darth Vader-esque testimonial to McCain’s seriousness of purpose and long service in the military and Senate, has been turned into some cheap amateur porn YouTube collection of fat idiots also glory-whoring for a moment in the spotlight. It’s shameful.
And now, the actual “Joe the Plumber” himself is at war with the McCain campaign. He’s got his own event schedule, and will be appearing at some charity event in Philly “unrelated to the campaign.” He is probably campaigning for John Murtha.
Joe the Plumber is “going rogue.”
Joe the No Show [CNN]
Why is Mr. Clean angry with the California Raisin?
“The McCain campaign website, once a grim Darth Vader-esque testimonial to McCain’s seriousness of purpose and long service in the military and Senate, has been turned into some cheap amateur porn YouTube collection of fat idiots also glory-whoring for a moment in the spotlight. It’s shameful.”
Everyone climb aboard the BangBus!! Refreshments include whiskey, sperm, and regret.
Hollerrrrrr!!
They could have just dressed Steve Schmidt up in a pair of Carhartt’s and a flannel shirt and no one would have been able to tell the difference.
On the one hand, this is funny as hell. On the other hand, it is really sad. And if by some miracle Walnuts actually wins this thing we will be governed by the most completely fucked up people since, well, since Bush.
“Charity event” = “cleaning Cindy’s Pipes” He is a plumber after all…..a 4 lug-wrench plumber.
The non-campaign related event is a “charity” thing. Joe the Genius will be promoting his new book “How I learrned 2 Scam Yoos.”
McCain Campaign Director of Personnel: Col. Walter E. Kurtz.
guys, he has shit to deal with. these toilets don’t unblock themselves amirite?!
This shit is starting to make FEMA’s Katrina response look like fucking D-Day.
“I’m sorry Mr. The Plumber, the campaign staff is too busy leaking bitchy CYA exposées to the press to confirm your endorsement of Senator McCain. Can I interest you in a pair of fuzzy moose antlers?”
Gimme a “C”
Giime a “L”
Giime a “U”
Giime a “S”
Giime a “T”
Giime a “E”
Gimme a “R”
Gimme a “F”
Giime a “U”
Gimme a “C”
Gimme a “K”
OMGZ Joe is plumbing the depths of Cindy’s pill-ridden snatch
“bald-headed rat-eyed fame-crazed serial liar”
You nailed that one, Ken!
“How far down does this hole go?”
All the way to the bottom, Senator.
Rush: One problem. They would have spelled it wrong, guaranteed.
I don’t remember the Dukakis or Mondale people falling apart like this. Anybody else pay more attention to them than I did?
Is that a picure of Joe or Gannon? Or are they one and the same? UR. BLOWING. MY. MIND!!
Look for the blind quote from a McCain senior staffer tomorrow that goes something like:
“He’s out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct.”
It’s clear. CNN is in the toilet tank for Obama.
Gee, I can’t imagine what a government run by Jamakain would look like.
Everyday in the Jamakain Admin would be a new cartoon strip of Spy vs Spy with double crosses, triple crosses, quadruple crosses and even quintuple crosses. Rogue agents for change. Rogue agents against rogue agents. Rogue agents against change.
Hasn’t his line about not having any friends and being unable to get along with anyone been one his selling points? It’s strange, but I think he actually hopes to win by proving that everyone hates him.
See, now that Joe is famous and whatnot, he actually needs,say, “confirmations”for luncheons and such…elitist fuck.
Where is Jeff Gannon on this one?
You’d think he would be all over Joe the Plumber.
And I mean ALL OVER him, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Well, it appears we are all MAVERICK Georgian Plumbers now. I just can’t keep track of this anymore…
In that Pic above, Joe the Plumber looks a lot like this guy:
http://mysite.verizon.net/myk15/busheyesmanhohor.jpg
spencer: Or send out James Carville and tell everyone it’s JtheP’s skeleton.
That looks like Gannon/Guckert. Well shit. Now it all makes sense.
Is this some kind of experiment to see how much they can utterly fail, yet still finish under a 10% margin behind Hopey in the popular vote?
Lazy Media: No one’s campaign has fallen apart like this, ever, anywhere, not even some podunk’s running for dog-catcher. This is one to be telling the grandkids about. It’ll scare the daylights out of them on Halloween.
For Republicans it’s a fun drag show for them to dress up like regular working schmoes and pretend to care about the working classes. It’s sort of like Sadie Hawkins’ day for them.
WendyK:
Jizz, um Jinx!
Assholes at war with one another is kinda funny.
Bob Dole > Jammacain.
I like how nearly all of the videos on McCain’s site are white. Haha. The black one looks to be a rebelling teen.
I’m now predicting a CMT dating show in the vein of Flavor of Love for Fameho Joe. And the contestants could be called Drain Skanks. I assume Cindy will sign up once the divorce is final.
Hey, Ken stole my Joe the Plunger line. Can I hire John Edwards to sue for me? I demand justice!!
ManchuCandidate: Second photo is creepy.
I think he should be Palin’s VP in 2012…from “team of mavericks” to “team of rogues.”
The Frogurt Is Also Cursed: OMG, thank you. You have made my day.
Perhaps Mr. The Plumber finally took a trip over to: http://taxcut.barackobama.com/
Jeff Gannon IS Joe The Plumber! Genius! The CIA has done it again!
Wait, that’s not Joe the Plumber in that picture.
That’s the gay blogger dude (not that there’s anything wrong with that, The Daily Dish) who got a White House press pass a few years ago. Gannon or something?
Right?
Ah, crap, I just realized Jammacain is still a senator. And will be one after he loses, so Cindy can at least go home to Arizona without worrying about his creepy old ass following her there. But Biden will win the vice presidency AND the Senate seat for Delaware, before handing it over to the Dem governor to fill. HA!
From the McCain YouRubes Porn: Karl the Laminator, who worries that Obama would tax his boss and that would result in fewer people being able to afford home renovations.
Riiight, ’cause people NOT being able to afford kitchen laminate has nothing to do with the fact they no longer have places to “house” kitchen countertops?
McCain’s new site is hysterical. “Duane the entrepreneur” looks like a pimp or a pickpocket. Don’t tax him for working hard.
McShitmypants said today when Joe the Douche Plumber didn’t show for that particular rally that “we are Joe Plumbers”!
Ewe…
JTP is obviously holding out for Secretary of Labor in the new mccain cabinet.
A little career advice to anyone who works on the McCain campaign: the proverbial gap in your resume would be way better than telling the truth.
Joe is like all plumbers; he will just say “I’ll be there between noon and five.” The campaign will have to deal with it.
The Onion predicted this all years ago
WALNUTS! sure is good at creating horrible Frankenstein monsters which he cannot control and as a result run amok and destroy everything in their path.
WALNUTS! for President!
I am so looking forward to the movie about these past many months.
Gopherit: Sorry to blow your mind ever harder but:
http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/9606/gannoncensoredfe0.jpg
You know what will be the best moment EVER, on Jan. 20, 2009? When the Senate goes into session after the inauguration to confirm Obama’s cabinet nominees, and Walnuts is there.
Idn’t tha a picture of Jeff Gooker from the White House press core?
facehead: that requires NSFW
spencer: You win!
When Joe’s spent the proceeds of his 15 minutes on six packs and Sarah Palin look-a-like hookers and needs to start plumbing again he could get a job in Australia. He’d love working here in Melbourne where the Plumbers Union was, last time I looked, still led by a bunch of unrepentant pro-Gang of Four Maoists.
I hope SP runs in ‘08, Barry will win all fifty.
spencer: Those Onions are going to put Nostradamus out of business. That is beyond amazing.
I hope SP runs in ‘08, Barry will win all fifty.
OOps, I meant ‘12
Let’s hope Joe the Plumber is around the next time Sarah’s water breaks
Concerning the picture: Is that Joe the Plumber or Jeff Gannon? I mean, both do a lot of plunging, but damn.
I hear Hopey has had very similar problems lassoing a dude know as Pete the Professor, who not unlike Plumbers, tend to have a bit of an independent streak and haughtiness about them
If he wasn’t such a prick, I would actually feel sorry for McCain. I used to come accross guys like him all the time when I worked as a public librarian. Old guys that would come in because they drove away all their friends and family. If you were polite to them and they would consider you BFF and you couldn’t get rid of them. I think like Sarah, Joe is a climber. He realized that he milked McCain for all he could get and drop him faster than you could say “Roto-Rooter, that’s the name. And away go troubles down the drain!” Could we see Joe & Sarah team up for a show on Fox? She better looking than Hannity and Joe has bonified working class loser creds. At least they could do is put Walnuts out of his misery and smother him with a pillow when he falls asleep on the bus tonight.
Gopherit: God, SOMEONE fuck Cindy already.
HI;);) I DIDNT’ REED ANY BODY’S ELSES’ COMMENTS, BUT I THINK THATS’S A PCTURE OF TEH QUEER GY. LOLL;)l
Just wait - it could get better. In their desperation they’ll begin gnawing off each others limbs.
McCain will call Palin a fucking cunt. Or maybe Joe the Plumber.
Gopherit: “Cleaning Cindy’s pipes”? I’m not touching that with a 10-inch, er, 10-foot pole.
Haha. Hah. Ohhh boy. Wonkette you’ve kept Jeff Gannon out of this presidential election for far too long. JEFF GANNON WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.
user-of-owls: Speed Ball: *sigh*
Joe the Plumber can find work in the “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin” sequel.
IonaTrailer: Calls Joe a cunt, or Joe calls Sarah a cunt - or better yet, Cindy calls all three of the cunts. God I love that word.
user-of-owls: *sigh* you.
If there is something wrong about being fascinated with a soft ball journalist with fake credentials that moonlights as a military pr0n hero, well, I don’t want to be right.
This is an election about teh issues.
Speed Ball: a-MEN!
Please to never link to Jammakkkains “website” again…now I have to clean the regurgitated hobo beans offa my keyboard. Thanks for that.
OMG U USED A PICTURE OF POWDER?
Okay, how long do we have to wait for the Hollywood-produced comedic farce adaptation of this race? Because we could literally just play it all exactly the way it happened but with a silly oboe soundtrack and it would be the most hilarious comedy of its season.
Chef Gannon, Joe Wurlitzer, Ashley Toad, Winkin-Blinkin-and-Nodd Palin, Levi’s Johnson…where do the Republics come up with all these silling peoples?
Is that twitchy Repub blonde who didn’t know where to vote still talking about stuff among the newsies?
Numbat Dundee: What are plumbers called in Australia? Poopies? Pipeys? You all have such whimsical names for your tradesmen. Oh jesus, what are carpenters called? Woodies? No, chippies! Agh.
the guy in the picture has a more pointier head, Joe’s head has changed shape since its been up Fox News ass for the last two weeks.
I hope he at least got the back taxes paid by Fox, cheapest whore in history!
Oh my God, I think they just might win this thing.
tremendous: Uhhh, Joe’s not licensed to unclog the toilets, remember? He can only accompany the guy who unclogs the toilet. That’s why his business ownership, $250k salary, etc., was “aspirational” to begin with.
War Eagle: You forgot Nancy Poopenheifer.
Ken Layne: Correct you are, chippies and they drive expensive things called utes. They are the new elites down here.
Speed Ball: If it makes you feel any better, I thought Joe the Make-believe Plumber was Jeff Gannon the first time I saw the picture.
If that is a Kirlian photograph, Joe’s “aura” is shit-colored, and that can’t be good.
I propose that for the next election we conduct it more like a reality teevee show. Lock all the candidates in a house and have a camera on them 24/7 recording all their gaffes and poo-flinging. Every week there’s a challenge - could be something like recite the Constitution, name all 50 states and their capitals, whatever. Whoever wins gets immunity for that week. Then voters call in and vote one of them out of the house every week.
Last one standing gets to be the leader of the free world. That’s the only way the election process could be any more ridiculous than what we’ve seen this year.
8000 Wonkers call Sh-GANNONgans.
PenguinDreams: And I would direct you once again (not you, me repeating myself), to Litter Box Democracy.
Who Pooped in the Ballot Box?
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-128190
I don’t get it. Why the name WALNUTS?
facehead: Are you trying to say that Jesus sucks his dick?
Cool.
Dear Lord, these fuckers can’t do anything right! What’s the matter with WALNUTS! people? He was supposed to get in contact with Joe the Dumber’s people. To be thrown under the bus by this bald headed sucker is just sad.
I think that dude Levi Johnston is probably fuming about how “Gee, I knock up (allegedly) one of the hot Palin spawn, and some bald guy who looks gay is gettin’ the cred.”
Levi, life isn’t about fairness, my man. Be grateful you have a “special needs” kid.
Oh come on, people, of course it’s Jeff Gannon or James Dale Guckert or whatever. We were looking for a picture of this bald Joe Plumber creep and I searched our archives for “bald creep” and sure enough, this pic showed up. Magic.
mordecaibrown1908: “Who’s Naylin’ Palin 2: World’s Deadliest Snatch”
Ken Layne: But have you ever seen them both in the same room at the same time?
Ooooh…., Now I need the brain bleach.
Wow, now both of the ignoramuses McCain spontaneously elevated to national visibility have flipped him off and are focusing on their own careers. Nice.
Isn’t there a special tank for plumbers? Maybe that’s the septic.
So what did they spend on Joe’s wardrobe? Whatever it was, THEY GOT ROBBED!
Joe the Plumber=Jeff Gannon. And…ahh…the D.C. Circle of Life continues. Hakuna Mattata biatches.
john mccain is a fraud
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGF-HEd6XnA “
“Joe the Plumber” was Jeff Gannon’s porn name.