Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
Your Comics Curmudgeon is not a fancy elitist with so-called “cable,” but apparently based on clips I’ve seen on the YouTube, CNN has some kind of giant countdown-to-the-election clock running during its informative news programming? I find this funny and sad, and would like one to hang over my monitor TO STARE DOWN AT ME AT ALL TIMES! As we play out the endgame of this terrible, endless election, let’s see what the funny pictures say will happen over the next hundred hours or so.
Click on the cartoons to make them bigger! It is magical.
Obama learns that his endorsement by Colin Powell has come with a price: Obama must allow the former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Secretary of State to pleasure his (Obama’s) anus with his (Powell’s) fist, in a move Powell likes to call the “the Black Power salute.”
The world will discover that, like fluffy kittens, koala bears, unicorns, leprechauns, faeries, and the entire cast of High School Musical, adorable little doggies are deep in the tank for Obama. When McCain emerges victorious in the election, Vice President Palin’s first mission will be to hunt down and kill all of these creatures from her deathcopter.
But not all non-human creatures support Barack Obama! Here we see a rare photo of McCain’s elusive servant Joe Lieberman — who, it can now be revealed, is “Nicodemus,” leader of the super-intelligent genetically engineered rats from the beloved animated film The Secret of NIMH. He supports John McCain’s plan to leave the rosebush and end our dependence on the humans for electricity.
In order to appear better informed and pander to his core constituency of man-animal freaks from classic cinema, McCain had dramatic plastic surgery in order to look more like a representative of the wise orangutan administrator caste from the Planet of the Apes series. This does not prevent his pet from being consumed by Barack Obama’s voracious hellhound.
In the waning days of the election drama, somebody finally figured out a perfect metaphor for the McCain campaign: a toilet.
A broken toilet.
Nevertheless, everything once again comes down to Florida! With the race there still tight going into the final days, the two candidates must break the tie in the traditional Floridian fashion: by attempting to fuck a genuine Florida alligator, with points given for style, originality of technique, and stamina.
Then the winner will be hurled into the Sarlacc Pit, the end, see you all in hell.
Hey, Sarlacc’s are in the pit for Obama. Um, tank. I totally meant tank.
Why does Joe the “Plumper” have 4 legs?
last cartoon = Vagina Dentata
…that last photo brings back the memories of Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs!
Violenza: Four legs good! Two legs bad!
What the hell is wrong with my cousins? Powell, the Jolly Brown Giant to Obama’s Sprout? FAIL. Sorry my fellow Khalbi eaters, the roles are reversed.
To the FLA ‘toonist. What, no Kitty Harris love? To me, her stretched/frozen face, ginormous/glorious fake bewbies, Southern christer crazee and pink outfits is today’s FLA.
I like the rat-faced Grumpy-Joe one the best. Most realistic. The toilet one should have had some old-man floaters in it.
AngryBlakGuy:
OMG. Vagina dentata indeed.
Violenza: I think they’re just big feet…you know what that means (he IS a big dick).
That may be the truest picture of Joe Lieberman ever taken.
trondant: George Orwell? Nicely played.
The quality of a political cartoon is inversely proportional to the number of labels the cartoonist has to stick on everything to make the obscure gist obvious. No amount of labels would save these, of course, so I speak in generalities.
The Florida comic perfectly captures the one thing Obama can do to clinch the state…turn white.
Ordinarily depicting one of “my people” as a rat doesn’t fly too well with me. But in Lieberman’s case, I’d say…Needs Bigger Rat Fangs!!!
Hey Joe, Shabat Shalom you fucking asshole!!!
I found the subtle Michael Vick reference in the second one to be an angst-targeted play on the racial animosity subtext.
Did I guess right?
Weeping Jesus: hand makes sweeping gesture over head….
My favorite of the season was Danziger and it had McCain standing pitifully in the rain under an umbrella in front of some decrepit shake and some old lady with no teef is saying, WHAT?? Obama is not a islamo-terrorist pinko vietcong spy who don’t love little baby jesus? hell that ain’t no fun…”
When did Washington install a Sarlacc?
That’s not Powell’s arm, it’s Popeye’s.
The thing I dont get: So why is Powell fisting Obama, and is Obama enjoying it or not?
What’s the difference between an aligator and a hockey mom?
Just an exercize for anyone interested in playing, re: cartoon #4:
What kind of dog did McCain have and what did its collar say?
Scaggsvillain:
Alaskan Klee Kai - Sarah.
ElBurritoGrande: What you can’t tell is that, in the style of The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, that little Obama is fisting a tinier littler cartoon politician, and so on ad infinitum. Then the teeniest little quantum politician pulls a can of VOOM out of his ass and saves the economy.
No cartoon about Bushie? Wha? He still cowboy-in-chief, right?
donner_froh: You can make a nice handbag out of a hockey mom?
How funny. Obama looks Korean in the first one.
This is a huge insult to hyperintelligent rats. Take it back or they will get your cat addicted to Oxycontin.
I’m thinking McCain’s pitbull is Palin? They shoulda clarified that, perhaps with her dainty round rear end protruding from the Media’s slavering jaws. Palin as a doggie? Hawt!
donner_froh: One is a cold-blooded monster that will attack you without warning and mercilessly rend you limb from limb, and the other a has a tail.
Min: yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s Kim Jong Il, not Obama.
I like Tom and Jerry!
i’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to draw Jews as rats, unless you’re art spiegelman, not that i disagree with the comparison in this case. I fucking hate that weasel bastard and i can’t believe my fellow connecticutians were stupid enough to vote for him instead of ned lamont.
Tame tamer & tamest.
You will never have the balls to post http://snarkfest.deviantart.com/art/McCain-Palin-Promo-Kit-101031166
Even Deviantart wanted a ‘Mature’ theme warning.
donner_froh: One is has cold blood, thick scaly skin and smells like rotten fish, and the other is an alligator.
Funny, I always thought it was Giuliani who was a genetically-engineered rat-thing.
Obama is The Finger and Powell is giving it. Can we be a little cruder?
GDTRFB and bc88 Actually, the depiction didn’t mention Lieberman. The description did. The image is of generic rat, not a Jewish rat like in Ratatouille, that scary holocaust cuisine film. Why can’t everybody just trash Liebertraitor without getting all Antisemiticky about it? Haven’t the chosen been blamed for enough crap without them having to take responsibility for looney Lieberman? Sheeesh! And Shalom.
hey guys, look at this mccain fraud video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGF-HEd6XnA