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McCain spokesman Michael Goldfarb, the ABBA-loving masturbatrix of Dungeons & Dragons, just gets demolished here by CNN’s Rick Sanchez in a profoundly awful two minutes of spokesmanship. Jesus criminy, is there ANY spokesman for this campaign who actually knows how to speak? Tucker Bounds, Nancy Poopenheifer, Jill Hazelbaker, Michael Goldfarb, all ruined & dead. Who next will emerge from the catastrophic School of Conservative Pundits? [YouTube]

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131 COMMENTS

  1. “Thanks, this is a really good discussion. Even though you didn’t say one thing worth a tinker’s dam, you smug ex-frat boy dumbfuck. Have a nice day, and go fuck yourself, stat.”

  2. Oh my god, Sanchez is so totally in the tank for Obama! Is he being snarky at the end there, saying he really appreciates Goldfarb coming on the program?

  3. Well, five minutes, and the clip is already down. Is YouTube in the tank for McCain?

    Still, is it not time to shed a tear for the Republican Spokesman. From Ron Ziegler to Ari Fleischer, for thirty years the Republicans were able to find people willing to sell their soul for a chance to speak utter nonsense. And they were good at it.

    But now, it is as if they realize that they are spewing idiocracy. It is as if Satan has abandoned the GOP. Or is it just that a Republican soul just doesn’t buy that much any more?

  4. I’m thinking of going over to the Dark Side for the next election. Given the current standard, I could be the Ultra #1 Spokesperson. And even if the Republicans have no money compared to the glory days of BushWorld, they’ll still have enough to pay me twice what I’m making this year. Note to my future employers: My neck is a normal length, so I won’t look like a bobble-head doll on TV.

  5. See, Barack Obama pals around with Beetlejuice, and if Michael was to say his name three times during the interview he would suddenly appear and wreck any havoc that’s not been wrought on McCain’s campaign.

  6. I love the dripping sarcasm at the end- “We REALLY do appreciate it Michael. This is a GREAT discussion.”

    A more fitting closing would have been to ask him if their was an audible ‘pop’ when he pulled his head from his ass.

    Jesus. JACKASSES! All of them!

  7. Hey Goldfarb – my dick is anti-semitic (even though it’s cut); why don’t you suck on it for a little while. I promise I won’t come on your face.

  8. It took all — ALL — of my self-restraint not to grab my computer screen and throw it across the room watching this. I was (am) just DYING to smack that smug expression off of Goldfarb’s face.

    And I just looove me some Rick Sanchez for pushing this jerk to back up his smears with some actual facts.

    “Actual facts, Rick? Don’t you know I work for the McCain/Palin campaign?”

  9. Jukes: I am so switching to Repuke and standing Congress for my district. I’m gonna be a total John Lindsay, voting to the left of the southern dems most of the time, yet totally sporting a fly Chipp and Co. wardrobe.

  10. christ, watching this so-called “campaign” is more along the lines of watching the crash of the Hindenburg in slow motion. But then I’ve thought that about this administration as well.

  11. Not to interrupt the McCain campaign or whatever, but wouldn’t Kahalidi be semitic, himself?

    The term Semite means a member of any of various ancient and modern peoples originating in southwestern Asia, including Akkadians, Canaanites, Phoenicians, Hebrews, Arabs, and Ethiopian Semites.

  12. Under the Bush Doctrine anyone is legally allowed to backslap the fuck outta this little douchcebag. Then feed him to McCain in a steaming bowl of chili…

  13. Dang! So close! After the “you know who I’m talking about” it almost devolved into a five-minute “Do” vs. “Do not” war – my dream. Some day.

  14. Is Michael Goldfarb an intern? Is he seriously a Spokesman? How come you can see his t-shirt?

    $10 says that’s a DMB t-shirt with ketchup stains on it.

  15. Hell, half the senate is anti-Semitic, so Barry pals around with lots of ’em. Joe Lieberman, for instance is one sorry-assed self-hating Jew and isn’t he who is Krusty the Clown is based on?

  16. I’m really enjoying watching different news anchors being overwhelmed into committing journalism by the sheer force of the McCaintard idiocy.

  17. I saw this live and went crazy wild! Rick, I take back all the silly twitter shit I pooped on you before. You made your mama proud today.

  18. If this guy had been at A.U. when I was there, he would not have gotten laid even once, not even by the fat girl in Room 351 with the stuffed animals and the strawberry yogurt and the crying.

    FAIL.

  19. [re=156800]The Cold Sea[/re]: The term “anti-Semitic” though, has exclusively meant the Jews ever since the term first popped up in (surprise!) Germany in the 1830s.

  20. I think we all know who we’re talking about here…

    FRED MCGRIFF!

    But seriously, who _were_ we talking about there? Was there an actual implication, or just nonsense? I suspect the later…

  21. “We both know who we’re talking about.”

    Moron, here’s a clue: YOU ARE ON THE TEE VEE. Spit it out so the rest of us can join in on your ridiculous conversation.

    Loser.

  22. He must have only paid for the $75 pundit school lecture where you learn: what color jacket looks good on TV (charcoal gray), that the no-tie look popularized by Barack Obama is O.K. (“Conservatives are stuck in a white shirt, red tie, navy blue suit style,” one of his coaches observed), and how to get his message across no matter what he’s asked. (“You can transition by saying, ‘Look, I think the real issue is …’ ”)

    In the $1500 one-on-one session you learn how to talk good.

  23. Ohhhhh! I see. He’s implying Jeremiah Wright. I thought he just hadn’t thought of anyone. Wright. I FORGOT he’s a racist…I mean anti-semite.

  24. The sad thing is, the Wonkette Commentariat could easily have totally managed McCain to victory, if he had agreed to hire all of us, but he refused to finance our All-Mirror Snoop-Dog Party Bus, so screw HIM.

  25. He can’t say Jeremiah Wright because anyone who does is subject to an hour of humiliation and domination by Nancy Pfotenhauer in full Clockwork Orange mode.

  26. Just to put this in perspective, this Jew-baiting in politics has been going on for decades, and it is still as stupid back then as it is today.

    “Every respectable citizen, every good American and every true Jew, must and will vote for the Republican gubernatorial candidate – Theodore Roosevelt.”

  27. From Walnuts’ dumbass campaign: “Abandon ship! Jettison the torpedoes! Let’s see what damage we can do by saying stupid shit!
    Is there anyone listening?”

  28. The Alaska Independence Party, of which Todd was a member, and at whose convention Snow Barbie spoke, has said that “Alaska is the last refuge from the Jews”. Who’s an anti-semite now?

  29. Rich: Who? Who is this person he hangs out with? Say it!
    Michael: He hangs out with his sister
    *slap*
    Rich: I want the truth! Now say it!
    Michael: His daughter
    *slap*
    Michael: His sister
    *slap*
    Michael: His daughter
    *slap*
    Michael: His sister, his daughter, his-
    Rich: I SAID I WANT THE TRUTH!
    Michael: *sobs* It’s his sister and his daughter!

    New talking point: Obama family incest?

  30. Rick “the journalist” Sanchez is the best motherfucker on teevee after Olbermann. Michael Goldfart is a colostomy bag filled with the rest of the McDribble talking heads.

    RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. Lily Brown, DMB did a big concert thing for Obama the other day. So Im sure that this turd, like his dumbass cheesy Frat brethern across the land, has been busy burning their old Trax ticket stubs and scraping the DMB stickers off their jeeps.

  32. so goldfarb is tasking the joe the plumber route? “Why don’t you go away and work out what i’m thinking about and who i’m thinking of?

  33. When all else fails, bring in Wrong-Way Goldfarb’s brother Mikey. Last I checked Arabs were still also semitic people, Mike. Who is the anti semite? Must be “you know who.”

    Come Seder we’ll leave the door open for him, but not until after Elijah has eaten his whole plate clean and had a second serving of matzoh ball soup.

  34. [re=156795]nurple[/re]: Nurp, baby, you have described the Ultimate Formula for Future Success. I will work for your campaign at reduced rates, even if you don’t LOOK like John Lindsay (the only totally hot Repuke there ever was).

  35. Why in thee fuck is Wright off the table while in front of news person?? But yet it’s Wright ads all day and all night until election night ? Is this some kind of Muthee witch ritual?

  36. Maybe this is their endgame. Insinuate, say nothing, and look like smug assholes.

    Is there a segment of the “undecided” voter camp that this would appeal to? I feel like they’ve already got all the Morans they’re going to get.

    “Look, we all know what Barack Obama did to a picture of Nancy Reagan. No, I won’t be specific, we both know what I’m talking about.”

    “And for that thing with the Olsen twins, G-d help his soul. Can’t provide details. Horrific.”

    “Look, we’re asking…for the well being of kittens and infants, DO NOT VOTE FOR OBAMA! We’re both adults, I’m not going to cheapen the public discourse by speaking of this any further.”

    “Once ate a hobo.”

    “What’s that? Who ate a hobo? I think we both know who ate a hobo.”

  37. [re=156816]populucious[/re]: I think we have the Chris Matthews-Bachmann interview to thank for this, which showed that a follow-up question or two with these people was like a shot on open goal.

  38. I’m actually embarassed for the man, even though I think he ought to be publically spanked and sent to stand in a corner, until he stops being such a petulant, annoying child.

  39. [re=156756]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: You know how it is: once it’s “out there,” you just have to address it: Obama and Hitler — what is the connection?

  40. WOW. I really had never seen this Goldfarb speak before, although I was aware of his existence. Doughy and bloated, just like pretty much every Republican male- and especially you JONAH GOLDBERG. What are these losers eating, anyway?

  41. Why is it popular opinion to assume all angry black men are anti-semitic? what about black isrealites? who do they hate the world or just really freakin’ hate themselves?

  42. [re=156761]WendyK[/re]: haha, Obama should run with that. Start saying that McCain is suggesting Biden or better yet, his lil’ girl Sasha is anti-semitic. That’ll get the pro-cute lil’ girl demographic fired up against McCain.

  43. If you were looking for the definitive moon-faced conservative douche, boy oh boy Goldfarb is your man!
    Bet he looks great with his face covered in cheeto dust drinking the juice from the pickle jar at 2 am!

  44. [re=156758]assholette[/re]: Excuse me, but if I’m not mistaken, Obama drives a Ford SUV Hybrid. History shows that Mr. Ford was an anti-semite of the worst variety, complete with magazine dedicated to the cause.

    How much more proof do you need? Dipshit Goldwanker was obviously talking about Henry Ford. If Sanchez weren’t a Mexican, he would have gotten the connection.

    Goldwanker has that Sarah Palin, “I’m so proud of being stupid,” smirk perfected. Sweet mother of god, but these people are vile, vile, vile and horrible. If they were coming to my church dinner (damn, I cannot believe I have to do that on election day), I’d keep a vial of my own pee hidden behind my tea-or-coffee table and dribble some into their iced tea.

  45. Why the clock are they both pronouncing it ANTI-SIMETIC? Is that the jew-hating version of “nucular”? Or do they have a problem with the monkeys?

  46. [re=156754]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Goldfarb does in fact resemble the twice-volunteering for Alan Keyes for President College Rep I knew. Except my acquaintance is now out of the closet. (But prolly still in the Log Cabin. He likes his money, after all.)

  47. [re=156784]The Gordo[/re]: I think that ‘sweet buggery fuck’ is my new favorite phrase. Thank you.

    I’m honestly surprised that there’s no one slightly less retarded that could be spoken to abou this. Also, why did he refuse to name Wright? It’s been a frequent enough Repube charge – if we all fucking know who it is, why is he too pussy to say it?

  48. [re=156827]d4g33z[/re]: I assumed he was talking about Rev. Wright, but couldn’t mention the name because McCain doesn’t want to open the door to a Force 10 ShitStorm about Palin’s Snake Handling Preacher.

  49. HEY BARRY, YOU DOUCHE, I’M STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO “PAL AROUND” WITH ME. YEA I’M BEING INDICTED FOR WELFARE FRAUD, GOT A FELONY DUI AND A DOMESTIC BATTERY CHARGE BUT ATLEAST I AINT A ANTI-SEMITE!! COME HANG OUT WITH ME BARRY, WE CAN SMOKE NEWPORTS AND MAKE HILLARY & BILL CLINTON VOODOO DOLLS. (I will also give u a full-body massage & a couple hickies when Michelle isn’t looking.)

  50. [re=156811]Lily Brown[/re]: i doubt it was a dmb tee, there was a black person in that band- it was probably ccr or something of the like; no doubt covered in multiple stains. this video gave me sad laughs.

  51. >The term “anti-Semitic” though, has exclusively meant the Jews ever since the term first popped up in (surprise!) Germany in the 1830s.

    It’s time to redefine a lot of words. Start with “conservative” which has been raped and move on to semite. Aryan is ripe for clarification too, being Persian and all…

  52. That guy is a cornucopia of dickery. He is a dicksplosion of dicks. He is the Metropolitan Museum of Dickery. He is driving his dickmobile down Dick Street in Dicksburg, Dicksylvania.

    Seriously, what a dick.

  53. “Jesus criminy, is there ANY spokesman for this campaign who actually knows how to speak? Tucker Bounds, Nancy Poopenheifer, Jill Hazelbaker, Michael Goldfarb, all ruined & dead.”

    It’s like they went out and hired Elisabeth Hassleback’s whole damn family. Do Rethugs just grow these people on a tree of dumb?

  54. We’ve seen this movie before. Mark my words, McCain will appear on all four networks this weekend waving a paper around and saying “I have a list!” of known pinko Obama associates. After he loses on Tuesday, he can slink back to the Senate, wonder why his old friends aren’t talking to him anymore, and endure the unanimous vote for his censure.

    On the other hand if they somehow pull a win out of their ass, Smarms like this guy will be in power…

  55. I know we’re supposed to be funny here and everything but I wanted to call something: Obama has something on McCain and there’s some quid-pro-quo going on. McCain doesn’t mention Reverend Wright, Obama doesn’t bring up McCain scandal. I think it has to do with that half-story Obama leaked through Huffington two days ago about McCain getting to an auto accident that involved fatalities during his time in the military. You know there’s more there.

  56. Get Sarah Silverman on the horn, stat.

    She’s got just the right touch; would rip Goldfarb’s fucking head off and shit down his throat hole.

    And she’s still fucking Matt Damon…

  57. [re=157008]american mutt[/re]: Coming from Memphis, it’s pretty easy to put the lie to that inexplicable stereotype. Our majority black district elected Steve Cohen to the House. The primaries were actually kind of funny/terrible because his opponent, Nikki Tinker, ran ads trying to somehow portray him as some kind of white power representative because he isn’t raging forever at Nathan Bedford Forrest’s statue in some fucking park. This in spite of his obvious jewery.

  58. Should’ve put more points into Wisdom. Also Intelligence, Strength, Dexterity, and Charisma.

    Jury’s out on Constitution. High BMI can go both ways.

  59. Coming in late, saw this yesterday, too. Been thinking – Barry pals around with McCain? I don’t believe it….is this why he never says anything bad about the old guy?

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