Joe The Whore Shows Up At McCain Rally, Finally

Country music star Joe the Plumber comically missed a McCain rally earlier this morning, but this afternoon he dragged himself out of his new McMansion, put on his new faux-Armani suit, and brought his three high-class hookers (Diamondchest, Firesuck and Lightningpussy) to an afternoon rally, appearing with bloodshot eyes and chugging a bottle of Dom P. and offering faint praise of politics or something, whatever it was that got him famous.

He said, "All right guys, I didn't prepare anything. The only thing I've been saying is just get out and get informed." After offering this ringing endorsement, the crowd gasped as a trickle of blood came from his nose. Joe then went insane, shouting, "SHIT SHIT SHIT I NEED MORE BLOW, MORE BLOW, THERE ARE BUNNIES CHASING ME WITH KNIVES, HAHAHHAHAHAHA," while punching ladies and sobbing.

[ Jonathan Martin ]