Wonkette
Well HA now you don’t have to feel so bad about actually watching the news and having opinions about who the president should be! You, the “decided voter,” are actually just as important as the undecideds. This mythical group of undecided dunderheads with a mystical power to sway elections through the force of their procrastinatory ignorance is actually not that important, because they do not tend to break overwhelmingly toward one candidate or the other. Or if they do, there aren’t enough of them to really change the picture.
Despite evidence to the contrary, the ability of undecided voters to alter the outcome on Election Day often is overemphasized. In 1988 and 1996, as in 2004, the losing candidate won late deciding voters. And in 1976 and 1992, late deciders roughly split between the two major party nominees.
If by some amazing quirk of fate undecideds end up breaking, say, 2:1 for McCain, it still won’t matter, because at this point John McCain actually needs committed Obama voters to switch over his side if he’s going to win. This will, of course, be difficult, given the cultish devotion Obamatards exhibit toward their love-object.
Undecideds an unlikely ‘life raft’ for McCain [Politico]
Today’s Polls, 10/29 [FiveThirtyEight]
I can’t hear you Sara, because I have my Obama prayer beads in my ears.
I admit it - I’m still undecided. Barack Obama has a lot of charisma and is obviously highly educated, but I also love torchlight parades and gigantic calesthenics classes.
Hee hee…W is getting fellated by a turkey. Oh, kind of like Walnuts & Bible Spice’s relationship.
Texan Bulldoggette: but isn’t walnuts the shrived old turkey in that relationship?
Obama be thy name!
Not to get cocky but it seems that an Obama victory is in the cards. My only hope now is that we never have to hear of/from/about Palin ever again.
I heard Monica gave better head, but the turkey has better breasts.
Put Joe Lieberman and the undecided voters on a life raft and push them out to sea. Good riddance.
Simply put, they need these mythical “undecideds” to cover them when they steal the election..
Texan Bulldoggette: Eeks, that’s a terrifying thought, ever seen those teeth on Bible Spice? Ouch!!
Whew! Good news! Now I can stop reading wonkette and watching MSNBC and listening to Communist National Public Radio and go back to gin-and-fresca for breakfast. If this is locked up, I’ll be snorting poppers and watching porn for the next week. Wake me up to vote… or not… I live in a blue-blue Hopey-lovin’ state anyway.
3dollarbill: I never thought about it that way, although Walnuts & the turkey do have the exact same neck!
It makes sense to me. If somebody’s still undecided at this late stage of the game, then they probably aren’t going to decide based on anything like issues, or character.
These are the people who will flip a coin, or vote for whoever the last person they spoke with voted for, or do an eenie-meenie-minie-moe inside the voting booth, or maybe they’ll just stay home because, really, they only told the pollsters “undecided” because that was clearly what they wanted to hear, and “couldn’t give a shit one way or another.” wasn’t among the listed options.
The line, “committed Obama voters to switch over” is hilarious!
The photo of Norm Coleman going down on the Bush is even more hilarious. Al the Comedian, why didn’t you use this?
Texan Bulldoggette: …gives an entirely new meaning to “stuffing the turkey” doesn’t it?!
Undecideds make me angry and reconsider the merits of universal suffrage.
I’ve long suspected that Chimpy wears corn-meal underwear…Isn’t that what real cowboys do?
Loliverz: I think the chicken is a lot less fatty too.
The only purpose “undecideds” will serve in this election is to give Republicans someone to throw under the bus that isn’t planning to run in 2012. “It’s those damned voters’ fault we didn’t win!”
At this point, “Undecideds” are really “Crowd Followers”. Fortunately, that benefits us this time.
Ow, beak! beak!
last night, maddow showed a poll where 3% of early voters “didn’t know” who they voted for. undecided to the BITTER end and then some.
Who has the bigger pecker in that picture?
America, I will make this easy for you:
Endless war or Praying to Mecca three times a day?
A spastic approach to the economy or Communist Socialist Authoritarianism?
Your job being shipped overseas to India vs. Your job being shipped overseas to Kenya?
No health care vs. Crappy socialized health care where we get drug resistant staph and die?
Shit, now I’m undecided.
Serolf Divad: If, by ‘out to sea’, you mean, ‘towards a naval artillary practice range’, then I’m with you.
undecideds are in the tank?
All electronic voting machines are undecided.
This morning Chuck Todd dashed Joe Scarborough’s hope by informing him the same thing – undecideds are too small to change McCain’s fortunes. The man was crushed!
I actually think these undecideds are no mystery at all. They are three groups, racist dems, disillusioned Rs and Blacks who want to project independence. The disillusioned Rs might stay home or vote for Hopey, racists for Walnuts, blacks will join the herd.
the cultish devotion
Hey, now. My relationship with Obama is purely physical.
…in everyday life the equivalent of a “undecided voter” :
= the asshole that drives 30mph on the expressway in the fast lane!!!.
= the jerk-off that blocks off the entire aisle with their shopping cart in the super market.
= the shit for brains that insist on paying for everything with EXACT change. Even if it means holding the line up to go to their car for a nickel.
That pic. The Bush Doctrine explained.
“Undecided Voter” is code for numb as a stump.
It is a relief to see hard evidence that the next four years will not come down to the same “undecideds” who kept Cloris Leachman on that dancing show for a full year.
On noes! We chose McCranky because Obama’s earz is toooo bigz!
AngryBlakGuy:
Those shopping cart assholes! GRRRRR! I used to push them waaaay down the aisles. Now we have the Obese Scooters, too.
AngryBlakGuy: Grocery shopping is for bitters. My servants do all that for me. Actually, they’re probably the ones blocking the aisles.
AngryBlakGuy:
The jerk who takes 10 fucking minutes to decide he wants a supersized junk food meal.
Are undecideds dumb or just passive aggressively making everyone nuts?
We could induce more undecideds to the polls by setting up the ballot so you enter your choices, then pull the lever by kicking a mannequin of John McCain in the nuts.
Servo: …DOH! I left out the scooters for the fat-asses!!! If anything, the fatter you are the more work they should make you do!
-Always make them park in the FARTHEST parking spaces.
-They shouldn’t get shopping cart(let alone a scooter) and they can only purchase what they can carry out in one trip.
-They should segregate the elevators/escalators; if you need to get to the 4th floor and you are a fat-ass then take the fukkin stairs!!!
Undecidedtards are ipso facto stupid, so the best hope is to rehabilitate them with our new socialist educational plan under the Obama administration.
ManchuCandidate: …the idiot who steps out of line to continue shopping and comes back 15 minutes later and expects to get back in the same spot!
Undecideds - those people meeting up right at the entrance of the escalator.
I’ve been saying this since the Dem race was down to Hillary and Obama: McCain will win this handily. He will likely die of a stroke or heart attack in his first year, and then it’s President Palin, your Theocratic Dictator making the Bush administration’s wildly unconstitutional actions look sweet and innocent in comparison.
Three guys in suits and a very pale turkey. And yet arousing in a weird way…
AngryBlakGuy: You’re cracking me up with your shopping rants. Sounds like you had a bad experience at your local Shop ‘n Save. Here’s one that bugs me: someone with 35 items getting in the 10 items or less lane. Grrr….can’t you count, stoopid!?!
Texan Bulldoggette: …personally, I’m not even sure how the 10 items or less line works. Do ten of the exact same item count as “1″ or “10″?
Someone who spends 5 minutes in the express lane deciding which brand of cigarette and what specific lottery card he’s gonna buy.
Texan Bulldoggette:
How about those in the self-checkout who couldn’t find their own asshole with both hands and a mirror?
Texan Bulldoggette: shopping rants continued– person who items are all scanned, total is presented, then realizes a stunning lack of cash and has to start selecting which items to eliminate. “could you take out the jumbo bag of cheesey whack-a-doodles and see what total is now?”
VICTORY IS MINE!! YOU BETCHA!!
-SP
AngryBlakGuy: Example: 10 porn mags count as 10 items. Now a 24 pack of Coke/Budweiser/etc. counts as 1 item. Don’t screw it up or moms with screaming toddlers will mow you down if you get in the wrong lane with too many items.
Well of course the undecides don’t matter. Hopey is simply going to declare himself President for Life and we will go along with it because he uses hypnosis on people when he talks. Or at least that’s what the bitters and wingnuts on the internets say.
I once had a little old lady asked me ( a 6 ft., 220 lb former Marine ) to dig through the rack of granny panties she couldn’t reach. She finally settled on a pack that was third from the front. Oh, the humanity!
Servo: …guilty as charged! *sigh*
Servo: …it could have been worse! It could have been a little old lady asking to dig through the THONG rack for her! Count your blessings my friend, count your blessings.
Ohnoes! There goes the “undecided” vote for Obama..
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/election-08/october-surprise-alien-endorses-mccain/
AngryBlakGuy:
…or K-Y warming jelly.
Darehead: Madrassa vouchers for every child left behind.
freakishlystrong: This is my biggest fear. Power has the “grip of an 80 year old woman” (Micelle O said something like that), and I don’t see the GOP going down without something up their sleeve. When McCain wins, talking scratching heads will say, “The polls just didn’t reflect the late breaking undecided voters, and those who were scared shitless by McCain in the last 2 weeks when the maverick finally started attacking Bush.”
Servo: …guess I’m skipping lunch today!
I’m still undecided about whether undecided voters are important or not.
Sara K Smith - I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen the word procrastinatory before.
When I describe Wonkette to people I can now include ‘educational’ to ‘nose-contents shootingly funny’ and ‘visciously intelligent’.
Fine then, if no one is going to treat me like some emperor or king maker just because I won’t been able to make up my mind about the state of this country until early next week, then I’m just not going to vote. Then everyone will be all like “We’re sorry we ignored you”, but it’ll be too late.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
My apologies “Michelle”.
Blue Hampsterite: I love the Weekly World News, but they are slacking off a bit, they haven’t told us who Bat Boy endorses. Clearly, the MANIGATOR is a McCain backer!
AngryBlakGuy: Dang, I never get to use that “10 Items or Less” checkout because I really love grapes.
oops, I was wrong.. seems Bat boy has made an endorsement already!
Lascauxcaveman: Here in Cambridge, Mass., we used to have a commie-coop grocery store with a sign by the “10 Items of Less” register that read…
Are you from MIT where they can’t read, or Harvard where they can’t count?
… but the douchey little whiners made the register lady take it down.
AngryBlakGuy: The parents who let their bratty children run around the restaurant and then get pissed off at you when you gently suggest that maybe the kiddies should go sit with their parents.
I’ve already voted for Hopey! Vote early, vote often! The ACORN doesn’t fall very far from the tree. MOO HA HA!
Who’s that turkey on the far right in that photo?
Miller: So that was YOU who blew it for us.
http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/index.html?nid=2E8ghYvWeM3EwZgn8HHsuTczOTg2ODY-&referred_by=12818286-76idG1x
Also, in re: pic - BIG SALE ON TURKNUTZ!
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Lottery people in general suck. I’ve got five minutes before I have to be at work and I still need to pick up cigs, lube, porno, and booze. And then these fuckers waste my time at the 7-11 or whatever deciding which bright shiny piece of paper is gonna eat up their baby formula money this week. Then they stand IN THE FUCKING line as they scratch it off, so they can claim their 5 dollar haul right away. Meanwhile, I’m late for work with empty lungs, a dry and flacid dick, and no booze to make Oregon’s 14 fucking day GOTV program go quicker.
BTW, I dont wanna hear Chris Matthews, Wolf Blitzer, or frankly Jim, Sara, or ‘teh ginger” complaining about working two whole weekends to cover this election. The last time I saw a weekend was in August.
/end rant
LOL, the fucking lame “douchebag” duck of a President is getting a blowjob from a turkey.
Priceless!!!!!!!!!
Gobble, Gobble!!!!