Wonkette
Well, that was a very fancy narrative television show Barack Obama produced! We’ll pick up 6 episodes, with an option for 13. (Would have been better if Meredith Grey had come out in the end with a little monologue about her fear of commitment and then had sex with Barack Obama on top of the Straight Talk Express, though.) So let’s turn to MSNBC now and watch Keith Olbermann masturbating into a pot holder.
8:30 PM — Ha ha, your editor is such a pussy that not only did she cry through the whole infomercial, she cried when she voted this afternoon. PMS maybe?
8:32 PM — Chris Matthews declares that not since the Bloodworth-Thomasons have the production values of a presidential ad been so marvelous. Matthews: “Ask the McCain campaign if they wanted 8:30.”
8:33 PM — Olbermann catalogues the beautiful images: the old lady’s gnarled hands, something about Obama reading, and of course Obama saying “I want to be president before I die of breast cancer.”
8:34 PM — Matthews: WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, WHITE PEOPLE?? BARACK OBAMA IS THE BEST BLACK MAN EVER INVENTED. His exasperation is just adorable, and already his lips are all covered in angry spittle.
8:36 PM — Hey, is Olbermann putting on weight or was that just a very unflattering angle? Saw a bit of underchin there. Oh and here is, who is he, Richard Wolff? Wolffe? He is the Englishman you would most like to pop into a little bag and smuggle onto the plane with you. You could feed him Cheese Nips when nobody was watching, and he would purr and you could rub his belly…But this dude is not terribly impressed with Barack Obama’s PROPAGANDA.
8:39 PM — “Well lit, better looking than he’s ever been — better looking than he is.”
8:40 PM — Campaign finance, boring. Let’s check out hmm FOX because why not. Ha ha, Bill O’Reilly is pretending that the last half-hour did not happen. Dennis Miller, looking like a wan, slightly bearded turd. Talking about…Oh whatever, not the infomercial, so let’s click the clicky over to CNN.
8:41 PM — Mark Halperin, who has apparently not shaved in several days? What’s up, Don Johnson? He remarks on the stunning ignorance of voters, still.
8:43 PM — Commercial. Awful local political ads. Terrible fearmongering and production values. In an Obama presidency, only Barack Obama will be able to air political ads. Glorious, sun-drenched ads with youthful poreless multiracial unicorns bringing medical supplies to their crippled grandparents.
8:45 PM — Oh, speaking of political ads, your MSNBC has something new by John McCain. “Barack Obama isn’t ready — yet.” This is to appeal to undecideds who like Obama but don’t, uh, want to vote for him.
8:49 PM — None of the networks are talking about the infomercial anymore. Well then! Here is our Analytic Wrap-Up: Very pretty, the live part at the end seemed sort of stuck-on and superfluous, Barack Obama wears wife-beaters under his crisp white shirts sometimes.
How come salads get alt text but Fred McGriff gets nothing? Racism. Of some kind or another.
I’m down with that Hopegasm– Matthews and me are into it.
Sara, I had a good hope cry filling out my ballot on Tuesday. And I’m a straight dude in his bulletproof 20’s. So yeah, its PMS.
I cried too, Sara, but it was because I was trying to desensitize my eyes to sliced yellow onions, since that’s all I’ll be able to afford in the new economy.
Who is that other guy again? The one Hopey’s running against? Old Mumbly Joe something? Is he still around? HENGGGHHH?
elcapitan: You fool! The Crime Dog is so awesome, his image will never fail to grace us, so he doesn’t even need this “Alt” text.
McGriff is a has been. Long live Lord Barackula!
http://www.theweeklydonut.com/index.php/2008/10/29/barackula/
For non-TV-owning folks, or if you missed it for whatever reason, here is the whole thing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtREqAmLsoA
StrangelyBrown: Abe Simpson
elcapitan: Because Jim has nothing to hide. He’s an open book, man. The rest of these marxist muslin stalin huggers have a LOT to hide. Thus,they alt while Jim does not.
So say we all. Also.
Yes, SKS, Olbermann’s been steadily gaining weight ever since he left ESPN.
Here is a McCain commercial to piss us all off!
Fox followed the Hope-a-thon up with McCain’s new “Obama in ‘12″ ad.
Hopegasm? Funny thing. I just said to the Mrs., “Mrs., that was one 30 minute political orgasm.” I can’t wait to tell her about the Hopegasm.
Bottom line: From Day One, this guy’s had the smarts to surround himself with genius. The campaign has reflected it, his recent endorsements from all across the spectrum have reinforced it, and this little bit of cinema verite has only confirmed it.
Enjoy. It’s LONG overdue.
Oh shit, a Jenkins double!
Ha ha, your editor is such a pussy that not only did she cry through the whole infomercial, she cried when she voted this afternoon.
Really, Sarah? We’re proud of you; hopeful youngsters like you help to offset the undiluted evil of non-voters like Jim Newell.
I found the “we’ll be live later, guys!” text somewhat distracting, but it was a great finish nonetheless.
Geoff Jenkins is fired up by Obama’s informercial too!
Dennis Miller also needs a giant dildo smack. How dare he say this BS on Fox?
brain meats: And proud we are of all of them.
Bill O’Reilly: “I don’t think the older folks use that word vibe.” Gawd damn end this election.
McCain might not get 8:30, but he managed to squeeze an attack ad onto the airwaves here in Michigan. I thought Walnuts had promised to leave us alone.
WTF is this McCain ad on MSNBC? No, it was Keith commenting on it. Bad.
Finally - McCain’s ad shows a fat white woman. What the hell? Why didn’t he keep showing pics of Sarah.
Akinori!
AlexTrebeksGirl: Hot dildo on dildo action. Bring it on.
Robocalls in AZ? WTF?
I stayed sober for that?
Will someone please read Harry Potter to me; preferrably a black guy. I feel very vulnerable right now.
Functionally tied… just where we want the VPILF to be.
After Hopey’s uplifting half house, I saw McCain’s doom and gloom ad. Old John taking increasingly depressing potshots at Hopey. John’s looking sadder and sadder everyday. He may even lose Arizona. After election day, the only “real American” places may be Texas and Utah.
AlexTrebeksGirl: Dennis Miller has small hands….just sayin
Crab1: 3-2 Phillies. DAMUN.
Right, Palin said this is not for naught. I’m chargin’. Line up.
simetrias: It was on during the commercial. Old Bastard!
Equality is a European value. LOL.
Watch out, Keith, there was that little bit about all men created equal except women and those who were classified as 3/5 of a man…..
McCain’s ad:
Behind the speeches lies the truth:
Barack Obama is black.
I’m poor, so I don’t get fancy cable news shows after Hopey McHopey-Pants, I get DEALorNoDEAL.
WONKETTE EDITORS: Please oh please can we liveblog every night until and including the erection? I mean election?
Hopegasmly yours
Keram2: I really want to Phillies to close it out tonight so we can riot on Broad twice in the same week.
I take it back. Dennis miller needs a two Double Penetration Dildo smack all over his head for an extended period and it should also be an infomercial of what happens when you dabble with the grand old farty.
jagorev: And by the way, Sara IS a pussy. My favorite lefty ho.
I wish tomorrow were the election. Can’t stand this much longer. He’s up, he’s down, he’s equal, he’s separate but equal…. arghghghghg
jetjaguar: Isn’t that the new McCain campaign slogan?
Canuckledragger: I’d rather see real dick. McWalnuts’s for comic relief.
After basking in the beauty of Hopey’s narration now I want ken Burns to hire him to narrate all of his documentaries.
Itsjustme: Dennis never did shit for me. And I’m a man whore.
Hopey just dominated the news cycle for another 2-3 days. That will get him safely into the weekend, when everybody will be spooling up for 4 Nov. Now all us little hopeys have to do is actually get our butts out there and vote, okay? No excuses.
Keith: Joe the plumber trotted out like a two headed heffer (sp?). LOL!!!!!!
Hey, I cried. But I cried all the way through the third act of the Auburn High School production of Our Town — two nights in a row.
If Hopey doesn’t win, I’m buying Kleenex stock.
OMG OMG OMG MCCAIN JUST SENT OUT THIS E-MAIL:
Throughout this election season, I’ve been reminded of the Yogi Berra quote, “It ain’t over till it’s over.” My friends, I’m telling you today, this election is not over and we need everyone’s hard work in the coming days to be victorious.
By hard word I hope he means Harry Potter magic spells cuz he ain’t gon win unless he learns to use a computer and hack the machines. Then he says “Will you make an emergency donation of $25 or more today?” HAHAHAHHA why not just say “take your money and take a shit on it then flush it in the toilet.”
Joe the Plumber is on Palin’s payroll as policy adviser.
Ha ha ha ha KO just said that Joe the non-plumber has hired a publicist. What a maroon. On behalf of all sane Toledoans, I apologize for this goofus.
Tell you what Joe the douchebag, you show me Israel on a map and I’ll vote for Mccain.
Keith doesn’t have a publicist? Right. But he does have a wardrobe consultant.
Drudge Poll:
McCain: 10211%
Hussein : -666%
Damn!
War Eagle: Get an EU passport. Any EU country. Even Latvia.
Haha, Joe the Country Music Star loses to Surprisingly Unheterosexual Shep Smith.
Keith’s voice cracks an octave higher every time he mentions fox news.
Crab1: Virtue!
Aaron Fucking Tippin? Has not had a hit in like 300 years!
Bring on Rachel. At least her chuckle is for real. I worry about Keith going the way of Tim (beloved) Russert…. Calm down, Keith. It’s in the bag.
Country Joe and the Fishy
Strappo: My sixteen-year-old has been checking out New Zealand citizenship requirements — you know, just in case.
Don’t be scared, Keith. Fucking calm down!
Strappo: Tune in Tuesday for his most humiliating electile dysfunction.
Did Mark Halperin just say “fucking” on CNN? He did say it, but I’m not sure whether it got by the censors or not.
simetrias:
I wish Olberman wouldn’t help.
He really is a douchenozzle.
BRAWNY MAN has a wide stance, Keith.
Rachel chuckles. I saw her on Christopher St. on Sat. She’s da man.
I want to be Rachel Maddow when I grow up.
Crab1: I actually don’t live in your — *sincker* — “city.” (I keed, I keed. Philly’s got really organized streets and the best damn band in the world) But since neither the Cards nor the Mets made the playoffs, I’m happy to root for the Phillies. I’ll just have to riot on DeKalb by myself… for now.
We gotta start calling him “Buster.” My wife hates it when I call him “Hopey.” It sounds like a Dwarf.
McCain: Gauzy feel good? Sounds like what YOU paid for when you were hanging out with Spitzer. Was IT worth the money?
WTF is a pundiNt?
stew: No way!
Sarah Palin will be in jail in 2012.
Rachel just said that Americans like crops waving in a stiff breeze. And she’s right! I love crops!
He got to tell 6 bazillion people to knock on doors and make phone calls, etc. And he put FL on national tv. Measuring the drapes my ass.
I don’t know if anyone’s watching Maddow, but Ron Paul’s going to be on TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN! I just ‘gasmed all over myself. SO MUCH CRAZY!
stew: full quote please. I need context.
Did the Ad buy not pump some of his campaign money back into the economy?
Joe curtain (palinaspresident.com)j6n:
McCain a half hour ago: “THIS ISN’T MATLOCK! MAAATLOOOOOCK!”
Rachel said dorknozzle. What a douchenozzle.
Country Joe and the FishyWar Eagle: Good idea. Even if BO wins, are our best days behind us? I fear yes.
McNasty is spitting venom on Larry King. Heart attack time.
jagorev: Oh stop ragging on Newell. If he wants to start up a major “Don’t Vote” campaign to encourage all the young people not to exercise their franchise, then you have to respect that anti-democratic ideological position. Anyways, Hopey should abolish elections once he launches his totalitarian socialist agenda. Why blame angry anti-ballot agitator Jim Newell for getting ahead of the curve?
jagorev: Thanksssssss
Itsjustme: We got our $250’s worth.
Rachel Maddow for VEEP!!!
Canuckledragger: Well, to be honest, I’d be a good stand-in for the old shrilved ex-fuckster.
rocktonsammy: His focus on Joe the Plummer is so unnecessary and counter productive – WTF, why not ignore this attention whore. Sometimes KO annoys the hell out of me.
OK, since news isn’t an option, I’ll liveblog DEAL OR NO DEAL
War Eagle: Archbishop Seraphim?
j6n: He was talking about Obama’s commercial (that was fucking great stuff), but I tuned in just after he said it–they were talking about it, but it may have been caught by the time delay.
of course, DEAL OR NO DEAL is f-ing horrid, so I’ll just make shit up, because it’s basically always the same anyway
I just came in from jacking deer all day. Did I miss soemthing?
Gunna watch PBS, Michael tilson Thomas directing Bernstein, West Side Story etc. Bet Hope and Michelle would enjoy.
President Beeblebrox: Probably. I kind of liked the hat.
jetjaguar: the contestants are lobotomized soccer moms and firemen. With meth in their veins. Real Americans, baby.
9:10 So, this very excitable lady is called up and Howie and her make hot elbow love
9:11 The stadium seats, filled with a thousand whores with whore bags (ha!) applaud
9:12 She hasn’t seen her son since he was born because Madagascan pygmies stole him from the hospital and raised him for the past 15 years… AND HERE HE IS!!!!1 He’s covered in sticks and mud and cannot speak. And there is a skinny guard on his peener, affixed by a string.
Think Rachel has a big girl crush on Obama? She looks like she’s hoping that he’s going to ask her to the prom.
jetjaguar: See what I mean? Real Americans!
Rachel just mentioned the percentage of people who already voted who don’t know who they voted for. So voting drunk or high is catching on! WOO HOO!
Oh please, please, please, please, PLEASE!!!! Obama’s GOT TO WIN! I want America to be America again, and not a freaking clusterF*&%K.
Does anybody else want to fuck Vote Vets Kris Goldsmith?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzNZ20QtFpk
Yea, me too.
I think my fantasy gangbang train includes Rachel Maddow, Keith, Richard Wolffe and this vet.
DON’T YOU DARE RUIN THIS FOR ME, STRAPPO!
9:16 She’s on FIRE! Half of the board is gone and she’s feelin’ great! She tells everyone about a superstitious thing she does for good luck and attributes her winning to that.
9:18 Uh oh, now she’s loosing! Sucks that your superstitious thing isn’t working any more, I guess god wants you to be poor forever.
9:20 There are only 2 rectangles left and the banker tells her she can either go home now with $200,000, which is obviously more money than she has ever had, OR she could bet it all for the chance at a million! WHICH WILL SHE CHOOSE!!?
jetjaguar: Tell her to play. Under Obama’s tax plan she has to pay more on 200 grand!
Dernyul: I just want Jon Soltz
ellie: No that has been a tradition for ages. in 2004 stoned and bombed people went to the polls, and voted to get a nudie show. Sadly they had mistaken the word BUSH as a vote seeing beaver over tits…. not realizing that teh vote for Bush was actually a vote for the boob..
9:21 - 9:30 ALL COMMERCIALSs
9:31 Holy shit, this show is an hour long?
9:32 While her newly-found son is off throwing feces at the audience, the rest of her family, the dumb fucks that they are, tell her to say NO DEAL. Because this is what ALWAYS HAPPENS, they get down to a point where they can either walk away with a lot of friggen money, or then can gamble it all away at a very tiny chance of winning a lot more. Why on FSM’s green earth would ANYONE chose to risk loosing $200,000 that they never had to begin with? Idiots, all of them.
9:33 Of course, she says NO DEAL, BITCH
9:34 And of course, she looses everything and is now a sad panda. Idiot, she deserved it, they all do.
9:35 Miller time.
Sara it’s okay, don’t blame Jim for not voting because he is afraid to let his feminine side show. We all have long roads ahead of us.
jagorev: Thanks, I’ll have to tap that when I get back to civilization and have broadband access.
bofm: Agreed, because:
Dont Let Up
nmmagayar: Yea, I forgot about him. Amended fantasy gangbang:
Wolffe, Olberman, Soltz, Goldsmith, Maddow…DEVELOPING.
Dernyul: don’t forget Schuster…
AlexTrebeksGirl: I would prefer to be in a medically induced coma until election night. I’m still having a panic attack over that “$200,000″ snafu. Haven’t heard any punditry on it…has anybody?? I’ll chose to believe a McCain mole edited it.
Dernyul: and Eugene Robinson.
nmmagayar: dude…that’s all you
To all of those bad fathers out there who have not read Harry Potter to your kids yet…..
jetjaguar: so predictable…poor deluded dupes…Reagan democrats!
For the longest time I didn’t know if Rachel came from Lesbos or was just a really bad dresser.
jagorev: Fuck, yeah! Even I voted, and it’s much more complicated when you don’t actually live in the country let alone the capital. First time for me, too even though I coulda shoulda woulda voted in the last six elections.
HuskyMescan: McCain is exceeding expectations, I only expected 8814.
Remember, coños, Rachel Maddow is a dyke.
pourmecoffee: Your titillating, self-punitive sexual fantasies aside, wait for the McCain response: “blah, blah, blah.” Okay. Maybe not. Continue with your delicious nightmare of anal ebony dildo.
My favorite Palin quote from today: “I truly believe that the wisdom of the people will be revealed on that day,” she said, talking about November 4.
Can someone send the bitch a link to a definition of “Irony”?
Address is ecampaign@johnmccain.com>, or at least that’s the address that she started e-mailing me from after ted nugent’s gay lover put my address in a Joe the Plumber sign that the fuckers never mailed to me.
S.Luggo: Since when is ‘anal ebony dildo’ nightmare material? You, sir, are racist against dildos.
Strappo: But can she stop the eternal waves which always threaten Holland?
War Eagle: She needs Sarah’s personal shopper. Too much neck going way down to, well somewhere…?? And she needs to make sure that personal shopper is really great at fitting the clothes. Her suit jackets have too much fabric stress going on.
Ron Paul pleeeeeze say that McCain is truly insane.
Is anyone watching Maddow? Ron Paul has the strangest right eyebrow that I have ever seen. It looks like it is trying to escape.
U 2 can increase the size and duration of your hopegasm by viewing these simple photos:
http://digitaljournalist.org/issue0810/callie-bp.html
ConstitutionalRiots: The $200K wasn’t a mistake, under $200K gets tax cuts, $200K-$250K see their taxes stay the same. Anything above that goes up. At least that’s my understanding.
Dernyul: Will have to check with Billy Kristol once he has removed.
OffTheRecord: I know!! I thought that eyebrow looked like a slug that was slip slidin’ away.
drezdn: Thank you soooooomuch for that clarification. Now, I’m freaking out because Dan Rather is on CNN chattin’ up McCain who apparently was on during the Obama show.
Dernyul: sorry, just a recurring fantasy of a KO Schuster sandwich
Phillies, ftw!!
Now Hopey has to win this thing next week.
Strappo: But intelligence crosses any and all gender
boundaries.
At least that’s why I keep telling myself that I get hot’n bothered when I find myself reading the myriad learned blog-works of our Wonkette overords.
S.Luggo: If you put your finger in her.
Seal’s endorsement video for Barack Obama. It’s awesome!
OzoneTom: True! But gay men tend not to like dykes. Straight people like them a lot better than we do. They’re such big dog lovers.
is it just me or does Nate Silver ALWAYS look fucked up?
Nate Silver and I have the same glasses. J’accuse, Nate. J’accuse.
sweetits: I like to think that he, in all of his adorable nerdiness, gets really nervous before he goes on TV so he sedates himself to keep from rambling uncontrollably about math porn.
OffTheRecord: it is mainly his eyes. if he would ramble mc cain-like about math, i would sexually assault him. math is hawt.
Well good. Now that you straight guys are in love with Bar-rawks-yer-world… we can begin the forced gay marriages!
We’ll have to figure out who to give to the ladies later… Palin, anyone?
sweetits: He’s hot. He could get all Rainman on me and ….wait. The bigger hottie, Chris Hayes is talking with those bedroom eyes and big words. Keith/Chris sandwich for sure. I say no to Shuster cuz he does that old man phlegmy breathing thing that McCain does.
How drunk are you people? Fred McGriff was a baseball player for the BLue Jays, Padres, and Braves in the 80’s and 90’s. The crime dog is Mcgruff. As for Dennis Miller, he had his brain vaccuumed out during the filming of that Bloody Bordello movie, or whatever the fuck it was called, and has been a tool of the VRWC (vast right-wing conspiracy) since. He is such a tool now that he takes it up the ass from Bill O while blowing Sean H. Fuck him! He is just another doomstruck loser on his way to Carjackistan next week.
You are right the wealthy did work hard for their wealth, FDR, the Kennedys, the Kerrys, the Clintons, the Carters, George Soros, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Jane Fonda, and Ted Turner.” Bob
Which makes it notable that the extremely rich tend to be members of the Democratic party. From there they can not only protect their wealth, but they’ve no worries of increased taxation to us lowly and less well off consumers and earners.
Ah yes, the looney libs forget to mention the riot inciters at CNN like Carville and Begala saying that if Obama loses there will be a lot of mad black folks.
Oddly, Keith Overbite has delve into his party’s history of overt racist practice during the Civil Rights movement, and the wire tappin’ of the Republican MLK, yes, we shall overcome!
White guilt in full display for everyone to see, whether it be Overbite, Chris Maffooey, or other left-wing loon.
Good day,
TRUECRISTIAN: can you ask god what you’re talking about for me? Im busy giving my wife another abortion. in this economy it’s DIY!
sweetits: The math hurts my lady brain. I just like to stare at the pretty charts and graphs. They are so blue and calming. Like the ocean. But yea, I’d totally do him. He’s nerd hot.
Don’t know what a Cristian is, but they seem to have tummy troubles.
I was watching this thing and getting all teary-eyed and hopeful. And then suddenly it hit me: Barack is only concerned about four people in this great nation, and one of em ain’t me. I’m reconsidering my vote.
Damn damn damn! I knew he’d blow it with this risky deal!
HuskyMescan: think we all know who was responsible for that, the Godless liberals who cannot stand having their immorality shoved back in their ugly face!! The defenders of free thought, the Big Bang theory and evolution, are not only striking out at me, but at all Christians. . Last night, while I was sitting on my front-porch swing, gazing up at Heaven, President Bush appeared to me in a vision. He told me that my work was not yet finished, there were still many liberals who had not yet seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!! President Bush would not be in the White House right now if God didn’t want him there. President Bush was put in a position of leadership in order to wipe the devil’s religion of Islam off the face of the Earth, so that the Christian God can fill the world with His message of peace and love. President Bush has stated numerous times that he speakes with God in the Oval Office, he even asked God for military advice before the invasion of Iraq. Modern liberalism is the equivalent of atheism, liberals are in favor of killing babies, raising taxes, teaching evolution, and same sex marriage. Jesus is opposed to all of these horrible thing
TRUECRISTIAN: “Which makes it notable that the extremely rich tend to be members of the Democratic party.” Are you kidding me???? I’m a true Christian myself and seems to me that the richest are Republicans and they tend to be mean-spirited and have issues with pride. Their kids are spoiled and treat other kids, who aren’t in their clique, horribly while praying around the flag pole.
“White guilt in full display for everyone to see, whether it be Overbite, Chris Maffooey, or other left-wing loon.” Did your pastor lay that “white guilt theory” on you to make sure no one in the pues left church after searching their souls and asking for forgiveness? I heard this term from a bigoted hate-monger ex-email friend of mine. It is so sad. Remember WWJD? Seems few Republicans ask that of themselves (anymore).
I still don’t know what a Cristian is, but I think that they don’t take their meddies.
Jesus also said that it is as easy for a rich man to get into heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. He also said that, whatever you do for the least of my brethren, you do for me, and whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me. Why don’t any alleged true christians ever quote those verses? Because all of you alleged true christians are nothing but hypocrites. Hypocrisy is the cornerstone of the Republicant platform. Family comes first, until the first wife gets old, then trade her in for a richer, younger, hotter one. Love your neighbor, especially if she looks good in a bikini. Or, if he looks hot in a speedo. Why don’t you just go back to the Drudge report and post there, true cristian, unless you’re a masochist, which would not be a surprise. Do you wear a ballgag when you get whipped by your illegal alien dominatrix, or do you just cry like the little baby you are?
TRUECRISTIAN: Ah… it’s Shorts right? Always with the fake trolling.
TRUECRISTIAN: you’re not gonna bomb us are you?
Doh, I get it: a “True Cristian” is a follower of Charlie Crist!
Sorry to be so slow.
TRUECRISTIAN: That’s too perfectly a children’s treasury of crazy hypocrisy. It’s gotta be fake.
TRUECRISTIAN: I was going to do some editing of your nonsense, but instead I decided to just call you an insane, genocidal crank. If world event ever do rise/lower to the level of religious war, nutbars like you (on all sides) will be the ones who fanned the flames.
Go bother someone else…we’re all stocked up on crazy, here.
I can see nothing has changed in the week I’ve been off. I read some of the posts yesterday and this morning and am sickened by the vile trash you amuse yourselves with.
I’ve noticed many times in the past, yesterday included, that when someone makes a plea for the attacks to cease, they themselves are attacked and cursed at, generally by those attempting to pass themselves off as conservative Christians.
I support Bush on only two issues; he lowered my taxes and he’s the first President ever to take the Wahhabists to task. Not even Reagan did that.
As to his spending, he signs on to bills the Congress hands him, though he should be vetoing many of them.
He is weak in that he likes to appease those that literally hate him. That’s like trying to make friends with scorpions.
Truechristian, I don’t think there are any pretendchristians here, so perhaps you are in the wrong circle-jerk? Personally, I have nothing against Jesus. I’d fuck him again.
Homo Motors: I suppose I could sit on her face.
@TRUECRISTIAN: Is there such a thing as a FALSECRISTIAN? If so, do they live in the non-real America?
TRUECRISTIAN: you were off for a week? take another week off! hell, take a god damn jesus scissor fucking mary month off. hell, shoot yourself and die forever. Who gives a flying fuck?
TRUECRISTIAN: No, im just kidding. I love you.
jetjaguar: I love Jet Jag-you-are liveblogging Deal or no Deal. This should be a regular feature.
TRUECRISTIAN: “I’ve noticed many times in the past, yesterday included, that when someone makes a plea for the attacks to cease, they themselves are attacked and cursed at, generally by those attempting to pass themselves off as conservative Christians.”
I would like to personally apologize to whoever the fuck this Charlie Crist fan is talking about. HuskyMescan, MagicTitty, Shorts, Sweetits, Strappo, whichever of you is the defenseless conservative christian do-gooder, I would like to apologize on behalf of the entire Wonkette family of asshats for belittling your faith and your good name.
Sometimes the snarkin’ gets out of control, TRUECRISTIAN. We don’t mean nothin’ by it; we’re jes’ funnin’.
BTW, will you still be visiting our fair website after November 4th? I hope so. See you soon.
Peace be with you, sister/brother.
TRUECRISTIAN:
THANK THE LORD GOD JEHOVAH THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED TO SHOW THESE HEATHEN LIBERAL TRAITORS THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. HAVE YOU BEEN AWAY PREACHING TO THE SINNERS ABOUT THE COMMING OF ARMAGEDDDON?? I TOO AM SICEKENED BY THE VILE TRASH THESE SODOMITES AMUSE THEMSELVES WITH. NOT AS THE GODLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS WITH THEIR TALKING VEGITABLE TALES AND THEIR AMUSING NOVELS ABOUT THE END TIMES WHEN THE LORD GOD WILL JUDGE ALL AND DESTROY THEM HORRIBLY WHEN ALL GREAT MEN OF GOD DRIVE AROUND SHOOTING THE GODLESS WITH MACHINE GUNS AND CONVERT THE JEWS TO THE ONE TRUE FAITH AS IS WRITE AND JUST. YOU SPEAK TREULY BUSH IS WEAK. IT IS VERY CHRISTIAN AND GODLY TO DESTROY THE WEAK WHO ARE NOT LIKE GREAT PATRIOT CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS WHO WILL CRUSH THE SCORPION JIHADISTS AND ABORTIONISTS THROUTH THE TRIUMPHING OF THEIR WILL. GOTT MITT UNS, TRUECRISTIAN. GOTT MITT UNS.
TRUECRISTIAN: “I’ve noticed many times in the past, yesterday included, that when someone makes a plea for the attacks to cease, they themselves are attacked and cursed at…”
…which is the reason I keep coming back for more. And if this honored tradition should ever cease, Wonkette would cease to be Wonkette. Let that day never come.
Anyone notice I used a horizontal ellipsis? Ctrl + 0133
As a liberal, I am strongly in favor of teaching babies evolution, forcing them into same-sex marriages, taxing them, then killing them.
TRUECRISTIAN: You do know that in the bible the value of pi is 3? Did God miss remedial maths that day? All true christians, if they are true christians, should drive around on oblong wheels. You are otherwise defying your God, and just like McGrumpa, God can get very angry when you defy him.
I don’t see what George Bush has done wrong, he’s destroying a bunch of people who shouldn’t be in the 1st place. I say the Iraqis are just here to take up space on this planet. They’re not doing anything to benifit us. George Bush is doing a great job where he is. I hope he sends a nuke to Iraq and just wipe that country out of the map. The only thing the Iraqis know how to do is terrorize countries, they’re all terrorists.Ok, I’m going to say it, I think George Bush is good. He’s one of the greatest president ever.. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! he attack Iraq and many Iraqis died.. so what? I hope he bombs Iraq again, I seriously don’t give a crap if the Iraqis die, I hope bush kills them all, bomb the hell out of Iraq. serioulsy I think the Iraqis are nothing but terrorist and George Bush is doing the world a favour by bombing them and killing them. they just like to bomb the hell out of each other, so the Americans attacking Iraq doesn’t really make that much of a difference, they’re just speeding up the process. So I solute George Bush
Being the vindictive sort, I DID NOT CRY as I voted. I gleefully voted against every damned Republican I could find and wished there were more so I could vote against ‘em. Fuckers.
I now wish TRUECRISTIAN were on the ballot, just so I could vote against him/her. :p
TRUECRISTIAN: Finally when Obama takes office I can tell you and your kind exactly what you’ve been telling me for the past 8 years:
“If you hate the way this country is being run, why don’t you leave? HMMMM???!?!?!!?!?”
This, for me, will be the most satisfying aspect of having him in office.