• February 14, 2012


Up in Alaska, these pro-Americas, your Joe Sixpacks and Hockey Moms don’t wait for your terrorist pals havin’ an election, gettin’ the votin’, before plannin’ for the next one, when McCain’s dead. [CNN]

{ 95 comments }

johnbpt October 29, 2008 at 7:19 pm

I’m not dead yet!

V572625694 October 29, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Ha ha ha ha. This is so sweet. Even Bible Spice is going over the side.

Wolfie is such a douche.

DailyComicsReview October 29, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Oh please god let this be true, we’ll be getting new “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin” movies every couple months if she stays on the national scene.

The Lucky Republican October 29, 2008 at 7:21 pm

What the fuck lady?!?!?!? Mitt Romney didn’t approve that message.

nurple October 29, 2008 at 7:22 pm

OH!! the FUNz we wills HAVe!!11burp!

Crab1 October 29, 2008 at 7:22 pm

The way she speaks, with some of the crazy syntax she uses, when she talks to regular American Joe Six-Packs and Joe the Plumbers and all the Hockey Mom’s out there in Real America, bores a hole in the Broca’s Area of my elitest brain. Fuck.

jetjaguar October 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm

PALIN’S LAW
“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of a stupid person that SOMEONE won’t mistake for a smart person.”

rambone October 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm

[re=154953]johnbpt[/re]: For all intents and purposes . . .

Gopherit October 29, 2008 at 7:25 pm

UUhghgghhhhh! Damn, these schadenfreugasms are getting intense! I’m gonna miss them after next tuesday.

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 7:26 pm

hahahahahah

tootsieroll October 29, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=154953]johnbpt[/re]: No one would want his shriveled up organs anyway.

Mull_Man October 29, 2008 at 7:29 pm

What is the Palin equivalent of ebonics? Reading this just sapped any of the creative energy I every had…

tootsieroll October 29, 2008 at 7:29 pm

[re=154959]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Damn, and we thought the Obama/Hillary primary season nasty…

Scarab October 29, 2008 at 7:29 pm

Will they run out of bullets or feet first?

condour75 October 29, 2008 at 7:30 pm

naught? what kind of fancy east coast latte elite kind of crap is that?

TheeFauxhemian October 29, 2008 at 7:30 pm

She’d be interested in remaining a serious, national political figure going ahead to 2012?

Really?

When’s she going to start?

AlexTrebeksGirl October 29, 2008 at 7:33 pm

Jesus Christ. This woman is insane. I feel sorry for walnuts. He bought her all that nice stuff and she’s still doing all this? Women have changed man. We used to just want nice stuff and some fame. Maybe she IS a dude. Maybe this is evolution.

simetrias October 29, 2008 at 7:33 pm

Yeah, and Dan Quayle might run in the Pubes primary, too….

ivenson October 29, 2008 at 7:33 pm

You know how when she made her statement about the clothes, the campaign said “those aren’t the talking points we sent to her plane”?

Next time, they will deliver the talking points the same way the crazy android in Alien delivers the magazine to Ripley.

catsonmars October 29, 2008 at 7:33 pm

By Election Day she will *literally* shove McCain under a bus, probably somewhere in Pennsylvania.

Meth Lab for Cutie October 29, 2008 at 7:34 pm

how are you gonna keep her down on the moose farm after she’s seen neiman marcus?

Keram2 October 29, 2008 at 7:35 pm

Wait, didn’t the Mayans say the world was going to end in 2012? Then that means… Sarah Palin is the Mayan Anti-Christ. OH NOES.

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 7:36 pm

[re=154983]AlexTrebeksGirl[/re]: She totally has a penis!

Viva la Cynthia October 29, 2008 at 7:37 pm

That was beautiful–and it pretty much cements Palin’s place in history as the scapegoat that the RNC will forever point to as the sole reason (well, aside from Ashley Todd) that McCain lost.

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm

“She would be interested in remaining a serious national political figure…”

Remaining? Serious?

HAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FindFuckandFlee October 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm

What the heck, you guys? If she hadn’t made it clear today that she’d be willing to run in 2012, her window of opportunity would have closed! No one would have taken her aspirations seriously on November 5th.. Amateurs..

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm

God, please let WALNUTS! call her the C word in public before this is all over.

ABitOfACommunist October 29, 2008 at 7:43 pm

Someone help me, how can I see hokey obamamercial if I don’t have a teevee?
Any channels showing it that stream online?

Miller October 29, 2008 at 7:43 pm

Yeah, because I’m sure people will have fond memories of Sarah Palin and decide “Sure we thought she was completely inept and unqualified as a VP candidate, but as a Presidential candidate? Sign me up.”

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Texan Bulldoggette October 29, 2008 at 7:43 pm

Anything that leaves Tucker Bounds, Nicole Wallace & Nancy Pfotenheffer speechless is a win for America (even the anti-American parts).

Crab1 October 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm

………………..huh…………

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Oh, Sarah. Sarah, Sarah, SARAH.

Let me just throw some names at you. Let’s see:

Kemp
Quayle
Lieberman
Edwards

You will be stinky poo on the bottom of a shoe when you wake up November 5. Actually, sorry. You are that now.

mocowbell October 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm

So what’ll America getting screwed in 2012 feel like? Well, son, it’ll feel like a nice slice of warm half-baked Alaska!

HuskyMescan October 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Hahahahahahaah!! Sarah Quayle declares defeat. What looooser!

McCain: So wuddya think?? HEEEEEEEENNNGGGGH??!!! HEENNNGGGGHHHH??!!

brain meats October 29, 2008 at 7:46 pm

She just drank Walnuts’ milkshake. FTW!

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Obviously Sarah is one of those cancers that spreads so fast it outgrows it’s blood supply and kills itself.

freakishlystrong October 29, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Jebus, even The Thrillah from Wasilla is in the tank…

HuskyMescan October 29, 2008 at 7:47 pm

2012?? That’s like 20 Palin babies from now.

WhatTheHeck October 29, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Oh Dear Sarah, Your base just don’t have the monies stashed away in their trailers to donate to you, so you are shit outta cash.
Also, I can’t wait for the career Republicans, you know, those people in Washington, to rip you to shreds in the early going.
May I recommend you just enjoy the scenery of the wilderness as apposed to the ugliness of Washington.
It can get real ugly when fellow republicans turn on you.

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 7:48 pm

well she is quiet the conniving bitch

freakishlystrong October 29, 2008 at 7:49 pm

HEENNNGGGGHHHH??!! Blah Blah Blah…WALNUTS! response…

Texan Bulldoggette October 29, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Oh & is now a good time to remind Walnuts that Bible Spice has a long, storied history of throwing people under the Wasilla church once they’ve outlived their usefulness to her?? Tsk tsk…amazing what a little vetting would have uncovered.

Crab1 October 29, 2008 at 7:49 pm

I imagine everyone associated with the GOP will dress in Mad Max style dystopic guerrilla warfare leather uniformsand wildly swing their spiked maces in all directions at everybody forever for my enjoyment.

Gopherit October 29, 2008 at 7:50 pm

How to get her back on the farm after she’s seen Paris?

blueblls October 29, 2008 at 7:50 pm

God I love her! That is one of the many reasons I’m voting for John McCain:
http://hobochili.org/chili/?p=95

freakishlystrong October 29, 2008 at 7:50 pm

[re=155013]HuskyMescan[/re]: giggle…

TheeFauxhemian October 29, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=154995]NoWireHangers[/re]:

Oh, god, I didn’t even notice the “remaining” when I watched the video and initially typed up the quote. The idea of implying that she’s a serious national political figure now was just too much for my brain to immediately process.

answerbird October 29, 2008 at 7:53 pm

Get out of my way you feeble old man – I am in the tank …. for myself. I knew from the start she would rip McCain’s head off – look what happened to all her mentors. Tommorrow McCain is going to call her a stupid cunt and Todd is going to field dress him alive on the bus.

The Jackson Five October 29, 2008 at 7:56 pm

[re=155012]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Palin/Tank 2012

WagTehGod October 29, 2008 at 7:58 pm

We need the “First Polls Close” graphic 5-plus days out? Really?

Wonks Adventure October 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm

and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the downside of repeatedly drilling talking points into someone’s empty head (there *is* one — shocking, i know!). palin didn’t know how to respond to the question, so she dug deep and pulled out … ah, the “white flag of surrender!” sure, that sounds good. ya know, whatever the fuck.

god, it’s like madlibs. actually, i think someone’s already said this … daily show, maybe?

[re=154987]Meth Lab for Cutie[/re]: and later …

Steve Schmidt: His running mate gave up her dignity!

Rick Davis: She thought we’d be getting million votes!

Bill Kristol: Iss not fair!

David Axelrod: FAIR? Who’s the fuckin Republican around here?! What are you, a bunch of fucking crybabies?

bitchincamaro October 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm

“Vote for Me. I am a proven loser. Even. Also.”

Borat October 29, 2008 at 8:01 pm

Someone ought to email her a fake “Application” form with like 500 pages of details REQUIRED to be completed by “serious” presidential candidates. If you do it professionally enough, I bet she takes the next 4 years filling in the application form.

Norbert October 29, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Holy Alaskan mink attack! Those who bite will be killed too!

Joe Lieberman, come on down!

Scooter October 29, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Ok, just learned that the transcript is wrong, i.e. instead of “naught” it should read “Knot”. Apparently there’s an uncle named “Knot” on the Palin side who’s always makin’ people do stuff they don’t wanna do. McCain/Palin regrets the confusion.

Hound October 29, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Its like that guy said, with the hair: Everybody gets their fifteen minutes under the bus. Or was it in the tank. Oh, fuck it.

wade williams October 29, 2008 at 8:06 pm

omg….i will have masturbation fantasies now about potusilf!!!! yee haw…pass the lotion brutha!!!!

Styrofoam Boots October 29, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Just think of all the delicious face-crushes coming her way! *licks chops*

Mango October 29, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I thought her path to future success began on Nov. 5 with the words “You won’t have Palin to kick around any more” followed by several years out of the public eye.

Then she returns “Tanned, rested and ready” – that tanning bed in the AK governor’s mansion will come in handy.

cal October 29, 2008 at 8:15 pm

I keep saying this, but no one seems to listen…

Someday you will realize I saw the future…

In a prophetic vision it was revealed to me…

MITTENS/GLASSES 2012!!!!!!!!!1!

sailingthestyx October 29, 2008 at 8:18 pm

[re=155019]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: every single mentor she’s had…

Neilist October 29, 2008 at 8:35 pm

I said to Susan Estrich, the day Bible Spice was nominated: “What is this? Dan Quayle in a dress?”

But I was wrong.

Dan wasn’t this bad.

And he probably would have looked better in heels.

populucious October 29, 2008 at 8:39 pm

McCain campaign “speechless”…

If only there were any way they could have seen this coming. Some kind of process by which they evaluated her carefully, based on qualifications and temperament…perhaps interviewed a few people who had worked with her/been thrown under the bus by her. God, it’s just a shame they had no way to predict or prevent this.

Lazy Media October 29, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Hahahaha! I LOVES her! She is such an Okie grifter! The McCain people better search her purse when they kick her off the bus next Tuesday evening; you know she’s gonna try to walk off with at least an RNC iPhone.

Lazy Media October 29, 2008 at 8:43 pm

And if you think she’s giving those clothes back, you are smokin’ some of that librul wacky weed.

wallythepug October 29, 2008 at 8:45 pm

Sarah Palin aka The C**t of the Trundra

DharmaDim October 29, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Yes! This is what I’m talkin’ about! Let Sarah be Sarah!

bc October 29, 2008 at 8:53 pm

It appears that the fat lady is tuning up for the Abject Failure of the McPain Calin project.

Camus October 29, 2008 at 9:09 pm

Don’t bash on Sarah Palin for this comment! This just proves that she’s a true maverick. She’ll go and fuck up her party’s chances whenever she feels like it and if you have a problem with it you’re a sexist.

answerbird October 29, 2008 at 9:19 pm

Don’t worry Walnuts, Joe the Plumber will be loyal till the end.

chappie October 29, 2008 at 9:37 pm
robanybody October 29, 2008 at 9:41 pm

LATE NEWS FLASH: In a follow-up with Wolf tomorrow she’ll describe the eulogy she’ll give at McCain’s funeral IF… IF… he wins the election but gets another cancer recurrence, declines rapidly, then falls over stone dead, leaving…. oh my gosh!… Sarah Palin, former Wasilla beauty queen runner-up, as the nation’s next president! It’s must-see TV!

Anita Cocktail October 29, 2008 at 9:46 pm

[re=154973]Mull_Man[/re]: eskimobonics?

PoliTacky October 29, 2008 at 9:57 pm

Hahahaha…. WALNUTS! should have watched “All About Eve” a few times!

Oh man, this is funny.

Words October 29, 2008 at 10:06 pm

Talk about your delusions of grandeur…….

You heard it here first, in Joe Biden’s vein, SP is a dangerous ideologue.. keep an eye on your Bill of Rights.

DoctorCulturae October 29, 2008 at 10:11 pm

I’m not knotting this knot for naught, though I thought about being naughty. Night-night.

aleks October 29, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Hehehe she’s not even going through the motions anymore.

BigDupa October 29, 2008 at 10:20 pm

If she’s going to stick around, is Tina Fey ready to keep it up? Please, SP, go back to Wasilla and look after your kids, especially the special needs one. The Republicans are going to throw you to the side of the road like a dead animal. You’ll be useless to them. Make them leave you at least one nice outfit for the (shotgun) wedding.

One Yield Regular October 29, 2008 at 10:24 pm

[re=155041]Borat[/re]: If I didn’t have a job, and could spare anything more than a caption-like comment every once in a while on Wonkette, I would SO enjoy writing that up.

Schadenfried October 29, 2008 at 10:47 pm

[re=154973]Mull_Man[/re]: Albonics?

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I’m gonna be VeePee…..naught.

FreshCliches October 29, 2008 at 11:20 pm

Excuse me….Mr. Limbaugh?

I GOTCHER “Operation Chaos” RIIIGHHHTTT HEEEEEEAH!!! HENNNGHHH?

Johnny Zhivago October 29, 2008 at 11:21 pm

wow… didn’t see that coming…

I figured she’d say she wants to go back to Alaska and spend 8 years on the Wasilla Sewage & Sanitary District Board to develop more “executive” experience before her next run for president.

wow…

zetetic October 29, 2008 at 11:28 pm

[re=154973]Mull_Man[/re]: Palindromes?

mdjacque October 29, 2008 at 11:58 pm

wolf blitzer is totally tweaking in this clip

Jukesgrrl October 30, 2008 at 12:43 am

All the bitters in the Pittsburgh suburbs who have “Sarah!” signs in their yards are in the tank for naught.

zoink October 30, 2008 at 1:17 am

Can’t wait to see Newt go after Palin, like crabs in a bucket, or maybe just a case of crabs.

schvitzatura October 30, 2008 at 1:18 am

Why not 2016, too…go for the gusto, and make it 2020 also!

Fact_Chucker October 30, 2008 at 3:43 am

[re=155526]PoliTacky[/re]: I was JUST thinking this was a total All About Eve move… though maybe it’s more like What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? with McCranky as the wheelchair-bound Blanche tortured by his younger sister.

You know when that McCain staffer said “Huh”, he was really thinking: “And yet, if I sneak into her hotel room and strangle her in her sleep, I’D be the bad guy.”

lumpenprole October 30, 2008 at 4:31 am

Hahaha. Dumbass. Anything Bill Kristol says is a good idea (“let Sarah be Sarah”) has to be a disaster.

3dollarbill October 30, 2008 at 9:35 am

[re=155526]PoliTacky[/re]: completely on the mark re: all about eve. they don’t call her sarah barracuda for nought

sealhugger October 30, 2008 at 10:39 am

Is this, like, the political version of being a gold-digger?

aflurry October 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm

[re=155147]Mango[/re]: you think she’ll take it with her after she loses her gubernatorial reelection bid?

TGY October 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Nooo, I still predict a ‘radio show personality’ future for her. Sort of like el Rushbo for Hillbillies or Snowbillies or somesuch.

palmerdawg October 30, 2008 at 5:13 pm

She doesn’t give a fuck about 2008, she in the back studding for her blood test, boning up for 2012.

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