rumors on the internets

Illegal Robots, Illegal Bra Cash, Illegal Sunshine

  • In the 90s, McCain gave thousands of dollars of Neiman Marcus gift certificates to fashion terrorist Rashid Khalidi. [Ezra Klein]
  • This Mass. state senator accepted bribes from a swanky European-style discotheque called “Dejavu” in exchange for getting them a liquor license. Naturally, there are hotpixxx of her stuffing $1000 of this illicit ca$h into her bra. [TPMMuckraker]
  • John McCain will be President if it rains on Election Day, as no one except Cindy McCain can afford an umbrella. And nor should they! Here are your Five Day Forecasts. [Marc Ambinder/]
  • Look at this Soviet robot, engineered by ACORN and armed with deceptively low-budget appendages that are designed to cast Communist Party ballots in the names of hundreds of illegal fictional homeless people. [Ben Smith]
  • In Muslim Kindergarden, Barack Obama forced other children to play with his dumb Karl Marx sex dolls. [HuffPost]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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  1. Flying Monkey

    I once saw Obama share a meaningful look with Joe Biden, which makes him a commie too. Good Capitalists keep their meaningful looks to themselves (I’m winkin’ at YOU, Sarah Palin!)

  2. chaste everywhere

    But making the other kindergartners watch while he fed his (stolen) peanut-butter and jelly sammich to the Karl Marx dolls–even I think that was going too far.

  3. JoeFannyPack

    The only reporter that is clearly prepared to cover the bra stuffing corruption of liquor-gate is investigative reporter C Cup’s investigative reporter sister Dee Dee Cup.

  4. 4tehlulz

    Politico commenters are the biggest retards on Earth; seeing them cry tears of blood when Barry wins is going be the best.

  5. bitchincamaro

    More like a nobot.

    Regarding hobo voters, Ohio Sec of State has assured park bench inhabitants that they may use their public boudoirs as their permanent place of residence in order to vote on Tuesday. Victory Fires shall be burning long and furiously into the night on the 4th, in the Buckeye hobo jungles!

    And did I mention I need bra cash, too?

  6. Hostile Michigander

    If Deja Vu is bribing politicians, do I have to start declaring the money I spend on strippers as a donation to the Democrats? ‘cuz that might put me over the annual limits.

  7. SwanSwanH

    From CNN: “Khalidi said Wednesday, ‘I am not speaking to the media at this time, and certainly not until this idiot wind passes.'”

  8. masterdebater

    I always believed that was a time honored place for a lady to carry a few extra bills. Is it not so?

  9. Borat

    I thought Walnuts would melt in the Rain – didn’t he cancel some acoustical show the other day because of the rain (while Barry kept his rock concert on?)

  10. S.Luggo

    [re=155016]you cannot be serious[/re]: Works for Palin.
    Sorry, I thought you said thousand dollar, crimson lace, Neiman Marcus booby holder. My fantasy, my mistake. Country first.

  11. DangerousLiberal

    I heard that Bill Ayers made the PB part of the PB and J out of peanut butter, and forced the gooey goodness on the kid who was allergic to peanuts. Bwah ha ha ha ha. Obmama also starts his secret fundraisers by playing the Clash’s Sandinista! while black-turtlenecked, beret-sporting entellektals discuss the death throes of capitalism. I am Leon Trotsky, and I approve this message.

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