CIVIL WAR  2:23 pm October 29, 2008

As America Collapses, Gun Sales Are Booming!

by Ken Layne

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!Stocks may be up or down another 900 points right now, who knows — but they are very much down in general, like 35% down. And houses, they are worth nine dollars each, in KFC coupons, yet there are no takers. All the car manufacturers are shutting down, forever, and soon gasoline will be 45 cents a gallon again, and nobody will want some. Are Americans buying anything these days? Yes, they are buying millions of guns, for the coming race war.

“Tampa Bay Gun Sales Rise Before Election,” says a Florida paper. “Gun Sales Up In Texas,” reports the teevee news in Brownsville. “Politics and the economy drive gun sales,” says WKYC in Ohio. “Gun Sales Thriving In Uncertain Times,” the Washington Post reports.

So, guns for everyone!

What’s driving this 10% sales increase for the firearms industry when all other forms of business are collapsing? The experts say it’s due to conservative fear that the Obama Administration will toughen national gun laws, in a bizarre attempt to lower the insane violence and nonstop murder that pretty much defines America.

Others are worried about the New Civil War. “Gun purchases have also been climbing because of the worsening economy, which fuels fears of crime and civil disorder, industry sources and specialists said.”

And still others fear that Sarah Palin is going to illegally ride a snowmobile through all of America’s national parks, beginning the night of November 4, on a mission to murder all Obama voters with her moose gun. She will be the Santa Claus from Russian-Socialist Ice Hell, going house to house and leaving nothing but carnage. Her first victim will be John McCain.

But seriously, go buy your guns this weekend. If you don’t end up needing the weapons and 50 boxes of ammo to protect your loved ones from the mobs of meth-crazed hillbillies wandering the suburbs looking for brains to eat, you’ll need them for the enraged blacks who look for revenge after Whitey steals the election from Obama.

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 129 comments }

FreshCliches October 29, 2008 at 2:27 pm

With apologies to Sly Stone, Don’t You Know That There’s Gonna Be A Riot Goin’ On?

lampadadog October 29, 2008 at 2:28 pm

I will need more guns and ammo to protect the stockpile of canned soup that Wonkette already made me purchase.

boyhowdy October 29, 2008 at 2:28 pm

In related news, my Kevlar Home Siding sales are skyrocketing!

Gopherit October 29, 2008 at 2:29 pm

See, those of us in Arizona are once again way ahead of the curve on an issue of importance. We have more guns than people here.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff October 29, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Ken, your hobopolcalyse fantasies are starting to get serious. Get yourself ckecked out. We can’t have you losing your head when it goes down!

WadISay October 29, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Similarly, if McCain is elected, I’m stocking up on lattes and endive.

4tehlulz October 29, 2008 at 2:30 pm

>>you’ll need them for the enraged blacks who look for revenge after Whitey steals the election from Obama.

This is unclear; should I be using the guns against the enraged blacks, or should I be handing the guns out to them?

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 2:30 pm

This cant be good

rambone October 29, 2008 at 2:31 pm

I think of guns as an investment. $200 for a gun can easily be parlayed into thousands if you know which liquor stores to knock over.

jinmoom October 29, 2008 at 2:31 pm

More economic crisis = more Bitters

JeffGoldblum October 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=154269]4tehlulz[/re]: You just fire blindly in all directions, that’s how a race war works.

WestEdEd October 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Also, under Obama, the loin cloth replaces the business suit

Meth Lab for Cutie October 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm

they can take my cat food when they pry my cold dead fingers from the can.

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 2:33 pm

If there’s any picture meant to show Chuck “Cold Dead Hands” Heston’s love of the firearm it is this one: http://defamer.com/5021113/charlton-heston-cant-take-it-with-him-but-man-if-he-could

Ken Layne October 29, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=154269]4tehlulz[/re]: Both! That’s why you need so many.

The Pumpernickel October 29, 2008 at 2:34 pm

It makes sense, considering if McCain wins we’ll progress toward social anarchy. Who needs that Obama’s economic policy. That there’s socialism.

Yeah, if that happens, I’m going to need a gun to protect my land. Or something.

http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 2:34 pm

What about water, glue, and bedazzler guns? Those are more my kind of guns.

Ken Layne October 29, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=154277]NoWireHangers[/re]: No dude. Think about it. Think about it.

magic titty October 29, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Look where the gunz are being bought: Texas, Tampa, Ohio.

That is all.

sanantonerose October 29, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Burt Lancaster was waaay sexier than Charlton Heston ever dreamed of being!

TeddyS October 29, 2008 at 2:35 pm

The National Rifle Association is secretly supporting Obama as part of a clever marketing campaign to keep gun sales going. Genius. And if That One wins, crazy angry white suburbanites will come charging out of their gate-guarded communities to impose their will on us all.

coolcatdaddy October 29, 2008 at 2:36 pm

“Get off my lawn, you damn dirty apes!”

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 2:36 pm

[re=154261]lampadadog[/re]: dont forget fire

Scarab October 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Maybe it’s for mass Red State suicides.
After all, they can’t move to Canada with all that socialized medicine up there.

4tehlulz October 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm

[re=154273]JeffGoldblum[/re]: [re=154279]Ken Layne[/re]: So I need a gun that uses other guns as ammo for maximum efficiency. Shit. I wish I had more of a head start….

shortsshortsshorts October 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm

There haven’t been enough drunken rednecks accidentally shooting family members recently (I ya there was that gun show incident). Accidental family shootings have always been an excellent source for thinning the herds of next-generation GOP wingnuts.

magic titty October 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=154262]boyhowdy[/re]: Nice.

Ok, now no more shirtless Charlton Heston.
Please replace with this:
http://blogs.indiewire.com/twhalliii/thompson_hunters_320x240.jpg

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=154277]NoWireHangers[/re]: A fucking flamethrower

Lorax October 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm

“We gonna need more waxxxx!!!”

lampadadog October 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=154291]Worlds End[/re]: When I remember where that last jar of cash is buried, I’ll dig it up and buy some more matches and kerosene.

TGY October 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Haha! Always you with the Glock stocks.

SpecialHorse October 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm

That picture is mesmerizing. I can’t stop looking.

Gopherit October 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=154281]NoWireHangers[/re]: a Bedazzler gun? You’ll kill someone, but they’ll look fabulous?

frumious_bandersnatch October 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Pfeh. That’s nothing compared to the 20% increase in sales of clingable religion. That stuff is through the roof!

Styrofoam Boots October 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Pshh! I don’t need no fucking guns. I’ve been blasting Fear Of A Black Planet nonstop for the last 3 months. I’m ready.

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm

[re=154283]Ken Layne[/re]: Yeah yeah, Planet of the Apes, you blew it up, yadda yadda. I just like to heckle.

tiger October 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Thankfully, i live in Manhattan where everyone already HAS a gun

tiger October 29, 2008 at 2:43 pm

SpecialHorse: He is hot…

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=154302]Worlds End[/re]: Flame throwers are great for clearing dry brush around your house.

TGY October 29, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Also, what’s that Charles is holding? An AK-1?

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=154308]Gopherit[/re]: You’d be surprised how you can jazz up a tired old outfit with the right rhinestones.

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 2:44 pm

In regard to the flamethrower this picture says it all.
http://i422.photobucket.com/albums/pp306/worldsend52/1920160379_e78f453701_o.jpg

totoro October 29, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Basically all of those gun sales are to McCain staffers getting ready for their Tuesday night Mexican Standoff in Crystal City. $50 says Palin walks out with the severed forelegs of half a dozen flunkies and a smoking rifle.

PrairiePossum October 29, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Is the loin cloth lined with Kevlar? Does it come with the rifle or is it a separate purchase? Does Neiman Marcus sell Kevlar lined loin cloths? Less than a week before election day and I haven’t even begun to stockpile booze and weapons.

Monkey October 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm

I’m going to buy a water gun/bazooka, fill it with urine (yes, I am starting to save up already) and wine (cause those urine wine stains never come out) and use it to piss all over the McPain supporters on Nov. 5 as they drag their sorry asses to work in abject depression.

WIDTAP October 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Righty-O, Ken. I’ve canceled that Obama volunteer day this weekend and penciled in the visit to a West Virginia flea market. Semi-automatic rifle, here we come!

Giant Robot October 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Shit, all my neighbors know I’m a socialist AND a pacifist. I’m screwed.

GDTRFB October 29, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=154269]4tehlulz[/re]: if they’re holding a DNC clipboard, arm them. Otherwise, case by case…

Outstando October 29, 2008 at 2:48 pm

I really need someone to translate the chorus to Leonard Cohen’s The Partisan. That will tell us what we should do.

Tommy Says Soooo October 29, 2008 at 2:48 pm

Hahaha, suck it, libtards! All your witty remarks will serve you naught, you gay copy editors, when the Nooge swings in wearing HIS loincloth to “repartee” your asses. Wango tango, lock and load, Sara K Smith will be the new Ms. Nugent/Mudflap gal.

Oh, wait, chickenhawks always TALK a good game but stay away from areas where people fire back.

Never mind.

PrairiePossum October 29, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=154317]NoWireHangers[/re]:

“Flame throwers are great for clearing dry brush around your house.”

Or removing unwanted chest hair.

hedgehog October 29, 2008 at 2:50 pm

So if the folks in Detroit burn down the city every time a sports team wins the World Series, what’s going to happen there when Obama wins the election? (Or if he loses?)

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Nice tits Chuck.

MrStauf October 29, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Luckily I live in Utah, where even the college kids on campus are packing. If there was any great civil unrest Romney would approach from the East to rule over the Cave People, who he would then lead to conquer the Western United States until being beaten back by Ron Paul, who will save America in his blimp of terrible retribution and questionable grammar.

…Romney’s cave people are ready.
http://www.kutv.com/content/news/specialreport/story.aspx?content_id=6e46d081-db68-4485-9273-59fa2d8c3390

Godot October 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Wait, race war? Damn, I thought we were getting ready for class warfare! Can I still use the same gun?

Neon Trotsky October 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm

With the great need for liquor in the coming days and ever-decreasing gas prices I think we all know the solution here: Molotovs for everyone!

ReelectTilden October 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm

[re=154274]WestEdEd[/re]: I’ll never figure out business casual

nuckingfutz October 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

I can haz a AK-47? wOOt! Now I just need a helicopter to shoot shit from.

Elite_Princess October 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

[re=154267]WadISay[/re]: Oh my goodness, just in case McCain wins I might get me a few dozen morning-after pills, and hell, some condoms too. Because you KNOW birth control is going to be illegal…or at least put you on a watch list, just like buying copies of “Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret”.

Gopherit October 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

[re=154319]NoWireHangers[/re]:http://www.swaghousemedia.com/main.html

Rush October 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Franchise opportunities – “Dick Cheney’s School of Gun Safety”.

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

[re=154326]Giant Robot[/re]: The bitters will get us, just like the Night of Broken Glass, no lulz will be had to say the least.

sanantonerose October 29, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=154301]magic titty[/re]: No no! Replace it with this one!

Kingbee October 29, 2008 at 3:01 pm

To all: Please note that alcohol is the universal currency during societal collapse, and the empty bottles are the ideal target practice props, which you will need to sight in all of your guns.

nurple October 29, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Gun idiots are such idiots. Like any half-competent American thug could disarm you before you could see it, and then juggle your eyes. Stick with civilization, its your only choice.

nurple October 29, 2008 at 3:02 pm

COULDN’T…sorry

Tommy Says Soooo October 29, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=154333]hedgehog[/re]: They will free Kwame and then float on his swollen body across the river to Windsor, Ontario, and burn that, since there is nothing worthwhile to burn in Detroit.

The Canadians will politely thank them for taking the time to loot and pillage and still be able to remember to burn their treasured family mementoes.

Min October 29, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=154351]nurple[/re]: People are idiots, in general.

Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin October 29, 2008 at 3:05 pm

[re=154339]Godot[/re]: If only there was some statistical correlation between race and class in America!

AngryAtheist October 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm

“chickenhawks always TALK a good game but stay away from areas where people fire back”

Guns? Check.

Ammo? Check.

Lock and load.

This liberal is ready for the post-election apocalypse…just sayin’

Senator Bateman October 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm

“when they pry it from my cold, dead hands!”

AngryBlakGuy October 29, 2008 at 3:09 pm

…Miami is already a war zone so I’m not worried about it getting any worse.

BruceLee5000 October 29, 2008 at 3:12 pm

[re=154318]TGY[/re]: Very nice. He’s OLD! How old IS HE?! He did his first target practice with an AK-1! RIMSHOT!

OffTheRecord October 29, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Crap. I’m broke right now. All I have are torches and pitchforks? Will that work?

cal October 29, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=154338]MrStauf[/re]: I for one welcome our new blimp-riding overlords.

rEVOLution!!!

Texan Bulldoggette October 29, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Why is Pat Boone wearing a loin cloth?

Servo October 29, 2008 at 3:16 pm

As a wise young man in Seattle told me, “These people need Dairy Queen.”

Neilist October 29, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=154277]NoWireHangers[/re]: That’s not Heston’s basement/gun collection. It’s some retired General’s, according to Snopes.

The guy had a major jones for the BAR (the rifles along the top of the walls). It looks like he had one of virtually every major model/modification.

S.Luggo October 29, 2008 at 3:16 pm

I wan’t my own Death Star.

The Cold Sea October 29, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=154367]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: For the same reason I’m wearing one: it feels good. It feels like….freedom.

Varchar October 29, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Good thing lefties have the monopoly on tanks.

ConstitutionalRiots October 29, 2008 at 3:21 pm

“»Freedom States Alliance Press Release: After 8-Year-Old Boy Shoots Self With Uzi Machine Gun, Advocates Demand Minimum Age Requirement for Machine Gun Use”
http://www.gunguys.com/

Unbelievable. The GunGuys’ motto is “Where Everyone’s A Straight Shooter”. Apparently the little boy didn’t shoot his Israeli military Uzi straight, unless his own head was his target. This is sick and sad:

“According to the Associated Press on Oct. 27th:
WESTFIELD, Mass. An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.

The boy lost control of the weapon while firing it Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman’s Club, police Lt. Lawrence Vallierpratte said.

The boy, Christopher Bizilj of Ashford, Conn., was with a certified instructor and “was shooting the weapon down range when the force of the weapon made it travel up and back toward his head, where he suffered the injury,” a police statement said.

Christopher died at Baystate Medical Center.

Police said the boy’s father, Charles Bizilj, attended the event with his son. The father is the medical director of emergency medicine at Johnson Memorial Hospital, in Stafford Springs, Conn.

Although police called it a “self-inflicted accidental shooting,” police and the Hampden district attorney’s office were investigating, officials said.

The local newspaper, The Republican wrote:

Witnesses told police the boy lost control of a fully automatic UZI he was shooting under the supervision of range officers at the club “when the self-inflicted accidental shooting occurred,” police said in a statement……..

Asked to comment on the advisability of an 8-year-old shooting an automatic weapon, Bennett said, “Once we have more information on what happened and how it happened, we’ll be in a position to make public statements (on the incident).”

Efforts to reach club officers for comment Sunday were unsuccessful.

Witnesses said the boy “was shooting the weapon down range when the force of the weapon made it travel up and back toward his head, where he suffered the injury,” police said in the statement they released.

He was conscious and lying on the ground at the shooting range with a wound to the right side of his head when police and emergency medical technicians arrived at the scene, police said.

After first aid was administered, the youth, accompanied by his father, was taken to the hospital, police said.

The size of UZIs vary. Police did not say which model of the weapon the boy was firing.

The weapon was originally designed for use by the Israeli military.

Ashford is about 29 miles east Hartford.

The Westfield Sportsman’s Club, in association with COP Firearms & Training of Amherst, was conducting a machine gun shoot and firearms exposition this weekend, according to its promotional material for the event.

The advertisement includes the information that, “You will be accompanied to the firing line with a Certified Instructor to guide you.”

Attendees under the age of 16 were admitted free, and free .22-caliber pistol and rifle shooting for adults and kids was offered, according to the promotional material.

More: Massachusetts, Connecticut, kids & guns, machine guns”

Q2 October 29, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=154355]Min[/re]: People are people, idiots are idiots, and guns scare some folks. Frankly, people scare me…and that’s why I have guns. But that which is the most scarilicious for me is considering the idiots who own guns, but have no training on how to operate them. When the shit hits the fan it is these neighbors who will panic, grab their guns, and who will the most dangerous. Armed, amateur, panicky, and stupid. Someone’s gonna get hurt.

ivenson October 29, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=154271]rambone[/re]: “$200 for a gun can easily be parlayed into thousands if you know which liquor stores to knock over.” Spend a little more and get a better gun. Think of it like tires…you don’t buy them that often, but you’ll appreciate the little things, like the slide not pinching that web of skin between your thumb and forefinger.

[re=154312]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: “I’ve been blasting Fear Of A Black Planet nonstop for the last 3 months. I’m ready.”

Yes…today, we are all S1W’s.

renttoowncoitus October 29, 2008 at 3:28 pm

America: Locked, cocked and ready to rock. But then Happiness is a warm gun.

TeddyS October 29, 2008 at 3:28 pm

Hey, you thuggy Democrap Obamaist! I’m going to go get my gun and load it and come back here into my living room, and then I dare you to do that break-in thing again, only slower. Hey, gimme back my gun!

NoWireHangers October 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=154369]Neilist[/re]: You are correct. I like to believe it’s the basement Chuck would have wanted…

Worlds End October 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=154376]ConstitutionalRiots[/re]: That makes so fucking angry words don’t describe it!

Styrofoam Boots October 29, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=154379]ivenson[/re]: I’m just sayin’ if anyone is going to help lead The Revolution—it’ll be Chuck D. I just hope, for my sake, they let us whiteys in.

AnnieGetYourFun October 29, 2008 at 3:33 pm

[re=154309]frumious_bandersnatch[/re]: You are teh awesomez.

forgracie October 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm

I’ll just cling to my one gun….

masterdebater October 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm

With all of the increase in gun sales, the really worry here is, do we have enough ammo to go around? One more thing we will probably have to buy from some mid-east country I bet.

TGY October 29, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=154370]S.Luggo[/re]: Hm, no, we know what happens to Empires that depend on technological terror instead of relying on good, old-fashioned, choking-to-death-with-psychokinesis.

Um.

Well, maybe a *small* Deathstar. Perhaps a Scrofulastar.

slappypaddy October 29, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Yee-haw. Yee-haw yee-haw yee-haw. Gaze upon us in envy and awe, dear brethren of the world, from self-satisfied Europe clear around to Mela, Micro, and Polynesia, for we are your children, your tired, your poor, your retching refuse puking on the floors. We are America, the shining city sliding down the hill, filled with the ignorant and the addled, scared shitless and armed to the teeth. Fat as cattle going to market, we feast on apocalypsticked pig, washed down with fizzy sugar water, and pass our time enraptured by the audio-visual while we await a greater Rapture, the gift to us and the world from our psychotic God.

And don’t forget, we have stealth bombers and nucular weapons, too.

Don’t you wanna be jess like us?

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=154376]ConstitutionalRiots[/re]: I’m sure after this horrible incident the boy’s parents will limit their surviving children’s gun use to sem-automatic only.

JamesMichaelCurley October 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm
GollyGeeWilly October 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Are you telling me my Wham-O slingshot is not outdated? Damn that progress train!!
Damn you straight to hell!!!!

lawrenceofthedesert October 29, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Two common criticisms of Americans by Europeans is that we are “a cowboy culture” and “a mongrel society.” Both have some merit, e.g. the gun mania, but the Europeans, who are genetically incapable of improvisation except for gypsies, can’t see the positives (Obama and productivity, even when the job is a mother).

Rush October 29, 2008 at 3:43 pm

You live in America with the weapons you have, not the weapons you need.

Rusty Shackleford October 29, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Do love guns count? ‘Cuz mine’s cocked and fully loaded!

Servo October 29, 2008 at 3:47 pm

[re=154430]GollyGeeWilly[/re]:
Ah, the memories of high-velocity crabapples.

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 3:47 pm

“What tribe is this so sunk in itself that it dreams in a night gone crazy.” – Ken Kesey

magic titty October 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm

[re=154451]3-legged Bloodhound[/re]: Nice. Cuckoo’s, ..Great Notion, or Sailor’s Song??

PrairiePossum October 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm

[re=154415]slappypaddy[/re]:

Can I get that on a bumper sticker?

Outstando October 29, 2008 at 3:55 pm

[re=154339]Godot[/re]: Just make sure your ammo can penetrate folded wads of cash.

Outstando October 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm

[re=154363]OffTheRecord[/re]: Should scare the bejeezus out of McCain. Also, the pillory.

elcapitan October 29, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Jesus Christ, Ken, real Americans call them snow MACHINES.

nurple October 29, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Gawd. Most Americans can’t even change their own oil, yet we allow them own heavy weapons without intensive training? My Dad once saw a Colt 45 go haywire at a gun show and take a guy’s head off, and these were people who knew what they were doing.

Truculent October 29, 2008 at 4:12 pm

I got a coupon in the mail from Smith & Wesson (Really). So how could I not buy one? I had a coupon!

Neilist October 29, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Hey, the kid reportedly was using a MINI-Uzi, not a full-size model.

Gesh, you act like the instructor was acting irresponsibly or something.

Actually, the Mini would be harder for an eight year old to control. It fires the same 9mm round as the full size model, but is less mass to absorb some of the recoil.

That’s why I recommend starting eight year olds with a MAC-10. A higher rate of fire, sure. But it’s only the 9mm Kurtz/.380 auto round, which most grade school kids can handle with ease.

nurple October 29, 2008 at 4:14 pm

They can have my gub when they pry it…

Neilist October 29, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[re=154433]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: “Gun Mania”: The desire felt by German Jews, gypises, gays, etc., between 1933-1945 for firearms?

Anyway, just as long as we’re not arming the Negros . . . or worse, the Irish.

natoslug October 29, 2008 at 4:18 pm

[re=154519]nurple[/re]: That’s why it’s best to be liquored up before handling a firearm — helps you relax (and you don’t have to feel so bad when you shoot your friends in the head because technically you weren’t responsible).

On another note, I love America more than the rest of you, so suck it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYjL66Pz0A

glamourdammerung October 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm

This is absolutely hilarious to see upon coming home from looking at buying a rifle.

slappypaddy October 29, 2008 at 4:27 pm

[re=154472]PrairiePossum[/re]: Sure, if you can get that on a bumper sticker.

Lazy Media October 29, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Anybody want to buy some of my guns? I have this huge ol’ collection, and I don’t play with it as much since I got back from a year in Iraq, for some reason.

You can definitely have my Enfield .303 bolt-action rifle (good for rampaging moose or muslins) for a low, low price. And I could probably let my 9mm Walther P38 go.

hedgehog October 29, 2008 at 4:31 pm

So gun sales are up … now we wait for the stories about more people going to church and showing antipathy for people who aren’t like them … Obama really does have his finger on the pulse of the country!

Cling, cling, cling!

Fly-over Correspondent October 29, 2008 at 4:50 pm

[re=154262]boyhowdy[/re]: Kevlar siding — that’s brilliant!!! (checks GoDaddy for availability of http://www.kevlarsiding.com)

palmerdawg October 29, 2008 at 5:35 pm

I am stocking up on “ensure”, those fucking whipper snapper!

palmerdawg October 29, 2008 at 5:35 pm

and ” depends”

palmerdawg October 29, 2008 at 5:39 pm

and that glue McDirtydiaper and Cindy the cunt use on their teeth.

tootsieroll October 29, 2008 at 5:47 pm

[re=154376]ConstitutionalRiots[/re]: That was just the most horrible fucking thing ever, and believe me, the blogs at the Boston Globe were filled with NRA gun nuts dismissing it waving the 2nd amendment flag. The father is a fucking ER doctor. SRSLY!@

ChuckWood October 29, 2008 at 5:58 pm

I gotta protect the natural resources growing in pants! Hiyyyyoooo! Yes!

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 6:27 pm

[re=154471]magic titty[/re]: Not sure – it was excerpted in an excellent book by Daniel Kozlovsky called “An Ecological and Evolutionary Ethic.”

3-legged Bloodhound October 29, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Another eloquent gem from that same book:
“I have all these wonderful things
to give to you if you will
promise
to sing me a song about how
everything was before
this world stuck its fat ass
in the window and shit
all over the table.”

D.R. Wagner

schvitzatura October 30, 2008 at 12:02 am

Heston, with his sporterized/apecofucked M1 carbine…damned dirty, cosmoline covered, yet marvelous apes!

schvitzatura October 30, 2008 at 12:10 am

[re=154605]Lazy Media[/re]: Or for capping a Kaliist Thugee or two…we must recover the Shakara Stones!

Sleepyhead October 30, 2008 at 7:50 am

If only there was some way I could stockpile abortions, just in case.

plowman October 30, 2008 at 10:48 am

IDIOTS! Buy AMMO, that’s what the Left will try to ban next (along with any firearm that looks ‘military’)!! “Lead poisoning, ‘cop killer’ bullets, 1000 meter lethal range” etc will be the mantra to ban just about every type of ammo out there, it’s worth the sacrife ‘for the children’, all the AK47s in the world are worthless without bullets… STOCK UP AT THE END OF DAYS SALE!!!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: