Wonkette
You may all remember Robert Draper for his insanely long NYT article about the reverse-cowgirl firing squad that is the McCain campaign, or that book he wrote a couple years ago about George Bush being a turd. Whatever. There is news! He is a blogger now! And his blog has even more fantastical goodies about how John McCain has forced Sarah Palin to ride on the roof of the Straight Talk Express along with Mitt Romney’s dog.
Seriously, this is gossip column crack for political nerds, and O! It is such a shame there are only six days left before President McCain perpetrates a military junta from his home state of Panama, because you could read this shit all day. Today he is supposed to start blogging about the Democrats, so soon we will get to find out if Barack Obama and Joe Biden really are bickering over Joe’s Botox budget.
Robert Draper: The Home Stretch ‘08 [GQ]
Best skater haircut ever
But did McCain tie Palin to the roof of the bus and let her pee on herself?
Bob’s definitely got the bitchiness part to be a gossip columnist.
Here is Walnuts’ wonderful attack ad against Barry’s 30 minute speech tonight:
http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2008/10/29/hey-its-30-minutes-non-stop-of-barack-obama-tonight/
Images of all of American turning out to be a Katrina victim, car-lots (McCain spokesman whats-er-face doesn’t want to bailout the automobile industry, like at all) and TONS OF TAXES.
Haha. SK Smith said “reverse cowgirl”.
Mark McKinney needs some work done.
“An armada of handlers descended on McCain’s running mate like the flying monkeys in The Wizard Of Oz.”
OK, that is so gay. And I’m gay, so I know what I’m taking about.
All this infighting is really gonna piss off Cindy: “I always thought that ‘cunt’ was /my/ pet name, John.”
I demand that they start printing books about Sarah Palin being a turd. I need fresh material. I know there are some serious goodies about Sarah Palin using extra large tampons or something. C’mon!!
Robert Draper is my new teen heart throb.
“but apparently it came down to whether to make Palin look like a scripted robot or an unscripted ignoramus.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Also, this dude has a girlfriend? He looks like a young Chris Hitchens, before the booze, bitterness & water boarding got a stranglehold on him.
I bet Sarah shit more than Mittens’ dog. I mean, look what she’s doing to the campaign now!
Stupid Draper and his stupid fascinating blog is making me stupid late to stupid work.
cal: “I have just informed my girlfriend Lara that I’m now a blogger.”
She must be a beard.
Except, he needs to get his apostrophes straight. Bobby, baby, type two, then delete the first one. There used to be akeystroke for that on all my Macs, but then again, there used to be Reeves strawberry pie.
If there’s one thing I’m fervently hoping for, out of this election, it’s that I never EVER hear the word “maverick” again for so long as I live. I’d like to also never hear “Palin,” but I’d be willing to settle.
Texan Bulldoggette: There was a time before Christopher Hitchens was a drunk?
I hate to seem a bitch, but I would expect political sagacity to come to those who are beyond using Clearisil.
“An armada of handlers descended on McCain’s running mate like the flying monkeys in The Wizard Of Oz.”
I would have paid to see something like that.
This guy mentions in his blog a supposed girlfriend named “Lara.”
Yet that haircut says otherwise.
…well the roof of the bus is better than where I hear they keep Trig; I heard he rides in the luggage carriage.
cal: I think you’re right. One doesn’t “inform” a girlfriend of blogging, she discovers it as you’re involved in steamy erotic IMs with Moldovan strippers who want a green card. Besides every minute blogging takes away “we time” aka standing around waiting as she shops.
Mara47: Copy editors are rarely tedious cat owners.
Botswana Meat Commission FC:
And she’s from Canada…
Cogito Ergo Bibo: …I wouldnt mind hearing the name Palin, so long as it is always followed by the words “indicted” or “disgraced Alaskan Gov.”
Texan Bulldoggette: She “doesn’t know him any more,” so it’s cool.
Daddy, what’s a reverse-cowgirl firing squad? Is that like a Cleveland Steamer? A orgy with a lot of pissing? I’m scared, daddy!
Texan Bulldoggette: He looks like a young Chris Hitchens, before the booze, bitterness & water boarding got a stranglehold on him.
Oh, if only I could have gotten my claws into Hitchens back then. The possibilities…oh, the possibilities….wavy wavy screen, funky piano music up and over…cue environmental noises of plates and cutlery, animated conversation from various tables…pan the dark but cheerful Georgetown eatery to find a young Chris Hitchens and the preturnaturally ageless Mara47 at a table in the far back corner…they are arguing over into two sets of printer’s galleys, red pencils at the ready, their faces aglow with light from the votive candle beside the condiment cruet…And…ACTION.
AngryBlakGuy: Or say prison
Wow, Palin was ignorant on national and international issues? The things ya learn on teh tubes…
spencer: Best skater haircut ever Agreed. Also looks a bit like Christian Slater after a few bong hits.
DAmicosonegoodyear: You have sodomized my mind with that comment. I think i might hit my head against the wall.
shortsshortsshorts: Watch that ad! about six seconds in, there’s a flash of Obama on the screen for about a tenth of a second with a light behind/above his head, and I SWEAR it subliminally looks like Osama bin Laden.
AngryBlakGuy: The roof is only temporary til they figure out how to get her riding under the bus.
cal: I picture her tied to the roof of the bus bondage style complete with ball gag.
magic titty: yeah that made my morning.
Mara47: You may need to get out more. Boozing or bitterness aside, I’m not sure Chris was ever do-able. (Unless YOU were drunk & bitter.)
nurple: Hahahahahaha!
Worlds End: You’re welcome? Intertubes brain buttsecks for all!
I expect her to return to her Alaskan secessionist roots after the electoral beatdown; it will become like America’s Nigeria, a corrupt, libertarian paradise producing a new flood of e-mails like “I am an Aleutian Prince seeking to release my oil residuals in bank account.”
AngryBlakGuy: Worlds End: Agreed. Or for some here, probably “centerfold.”
Cape Clod: “An armada of handlers descended on McCain’s running mate like the flying monkeys in The Wizard Of Oz.”
I would have paid to see something like that.
…and waved as they flew her off to Pennsyldephia…
spencer: Naw. Too short and you can see his face. And to be fair, that could be rosacea, which is like grown-up acne.
Texan Bulldoggette: The great thing about Palin is that she comes across as BOTH a robot and an ignoramus.
Tommy Says Soooo: …she discovers it as you’re involved in steamy erotic IMs with Moldovan strippers who want a green card. Who you later find out is a 37 year old man who lives in his mothers basement in south Jersey.
All fixed!!!
AngryBlakGuy: yeah but he don’t mind.
P.S. Our esteemed new blogger looks like a cross between Max Perlich and good ol’ Carson Kressley.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Worlds End: …”E True Hollywood Stories”?!
shortsshortsshorts: and what’s up with the “yet” at the end? kinda like pulling your punch
cal: It’s called trickle-down theory. The rising tide of urine from the wealthy lifts us all up.
…am I the only one that thinks if this guy dyed his hair black, he would be the perfect stunt double for Keanu Reeves?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: This may have to wait for Bristol to pump out the spawn and then lose the baby fat. This is called a “two-fer” in the publishing biz.
On the other hand, it had to be hard for Sarah Palin—who has achieved all she’s achieved with a highly personal touch—to take all this ridicule under an enforced gag order.
It’s probably wrong how aroused I am by that particular sentence. I’ll have to turn in my Feminist Dyke card somewhere… is there a drop box for those?
cal: Boy, same here and you ain’t just woofin’! AND there’s that haircut…
best ad yet http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1185304443/bctid1885474357
shortsshortsshorts: and here’s a sweet ad for hopey featuring a winking bible spice
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/29/new-obama-ad-goes-after-m_n_138811.html
msnbc just was interviewing this girl was talking about iraq and said you just dont pullout of something your already in. Needless to say i had a good laugh
TED STEVENS FOR PRESIDENT!*
*–Just kidding.
I wonder if Mittens washes Ms. Maverick off like he did his Irish Setter when it shit itself due to high speeds while riding moon shot on Mittens mobile
Texan Bulldoggette: Yes, yes, I know you’re right. When am I ever going to get this crappy HOPE out of my fantasy life? *sigh*
3dollarbill: Since many of the voters these ads are trying to reach are illiterate, I judge the one with the voiceovers as more effective.
WadISay: point well taken. but perhaps they’ll take it that she’s winkin’ and starburstin’ at hopey and joe
AngryBlakGuy: I get more of a Clay Aiken vibe.
“And his blog has even more fantastical goodies about how John McCain has forced Sarah Palin to ride on the roof of the Straight Talk Express along with Mitt Romney’s dog.”
Those must be the bitch seats.
magic titty: I think SKS moonlights for Fleshbot from time to time.
I’m a little disappointed, I was at least hoping to read that the McCain cap picked Palin or pulled some of the crap they pulled as a result of heinously long ether binges in which they lost leave of their senses, blacked out, and woke up weeks later with Palin winking at them and a 10 point deficit in the polls. They actually were sober? Christ that’s sad.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
The implication here is that McCain has finally figured out that Sarah Palin, like a wayward cruise missile, has come full circle to destroy his bus.
McCain ain’t that smart.
The lead singer from Wang Chung had me until he said Tucker Eskew was a decent “person.”
how long before the “straight talk express” becomes “the under the bus BUS”?
How am I supposed to get any work done with this pesky election thing going on? I have a boulder to roll up a hill. — Sissy Fuss
So what would happen if, God help us, McPalin actually wins? Considering their aides are busy trashing each other, hello, awkward.
3dollarbill: Jeebus Hopey’s punching back just as hard. This is why they need to duel, with fisticuffs.
WhatTheHeck: And you would think he would have learned. This wouldn’t be the first missile trouble he’s been in. Hell, it wouldn’t be the second. By my count it would be the third. At least.
Mista Eko: I’d believe it.
C’mon, Wonkette–lay off the reverse cowgirl talk! I’m trying to do Very Important Work here and y’all are distracting me mightily.
I can hardly wait for the end of this debacle. How many McCain people will be getting in line to write books about how their disaster wasn’t my fault. And go on to backstab everyone else in the campaign. Almost as exciting as a reverse cowgirl with Brittney Skye.
spencer: Does the carpet match, the Draper?
I have just informed my girlfriend Lara that I’m now a blogger. She stared at me for a long moment before saying quietly, “I don’t know you anymore.” “…wait, is this why my pantyhose are stretched out all the time?”
nutcracker: You are cruel.
this is gossip column crack for political nerds
I thought that’s what Wonkette’s supposed to be…. hmmm.
She’s not on the roof because Walnuts is angry; she’s their Hood Ornament. They put her in the red leather jacket when she rides up there. Reporters, always wanting to go negative, fail to grasp it.
White people, they look so white.