Wonkette
We may mock Florida Governor Charlie Crist (pictured, center) for his weird penchant for dating women, but it is all in good fun: he seems like a very nice fellow and a good sport. Most of the time! Except, say, when it comes to John McCain, whom he now clearly loathes.
Consider: Charlie Crist endorsed John McCain for president so that John McCain could win the Florida Republican primary. Charlie Crist got engaged, out of love, and so that if he became John McCain’s VP and McCain died in office President Crist would not be the first bachelor president since James Buchanan. Charlie Crist did all these nice things for John McCain, but now McCain is fucking up everything, so Charlie Crist has put a FORK IN HIM.
He announced an extension of early voting hours in Florida, because high turnout was causing the usual confusions and awful waits and accusations of disenfranchisement. The Republican legislature had restricted them to 8 hours a day on weekdays (so basically, if you have a job you cannot vote) and 8 hours total on weekends (so the weekend lines are so interminably long you give up). Now polls will be open 12 hours a day on weekdays and 12 hours total this coming weekend!
This is good for Democracy, but bad for Republicans. Ben Smith writes, “‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’ one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.”
We cannot wait to hear infuriated Republicans’ theories about why extended early voting hours are bad. Oh wait here we go! A commenter on the St. Petersburg Times:
The headline should read:
“Crist gives ACORN more time to cheat”
Crist extends early voting hours [St. Petersburg Times]
Crist Extends Early Voting Hours in Fla. [The Trail]
Crist extends voting hours [Ben Smith]
I hafta wonder what shortshortshorts thinks of the ’stache.
Charlie Crist is a Muslin!
Yeah, everyone knows ACORN is only allowed to cheat during polling hours. Amirite?
“I got married for John McCain and all I got was this mid-riff T-shirt”
HA HA.
Democracy is clearly in the tank.
Crikey, how could I comment on the ’stache without reading this first:
“‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’”
I think Crist is in it for his own fun, though South Beach would definitely go for Walnuts then.
Crist is in the tank with the Jesus fishes
I can haz faith in humanity?
Spackle Camshaft Palin: I just procured a image of the so called tank and it is filled with elven blood http://i422.photobucket.com/albums/pp306/worldsend52/Athfepcyberneticghost.png
“‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’ one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.”
I count at least two sexual double entendres in that sentance.
This is what happens when you pick a functional retard with big tits over people who might be qualified to be VP.
Also, “‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’ one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.”
Do you think it’s an accident that Charlie is the governor of a state that looks like a dick? Just sayin’.
So, Good for Democracy is Bad for Republicans must mean:
Good for Repulicans Bad for Democracy. Yep!
So what he had a pornstache, or molestache if you prefer, that doesnt mean hes caught teh ghey. not that theres anything wrong with that. just sayin
If you’re not responsible enough to vote Republican then you don’t deserve to vote.
…I didn’t no Luigi went to FSU?!
4tehlulz: Walnuts failed in regard to picking someone with big tits also. So im going to say he just cant do anything right.
“‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’ one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.”
that one got by me didnt even notice it till i read the comments
dp action from crist, who knew
Tommy Says Soooo: Truly, after being engaged to a woman for several months, I bet it feels good to get back to blowing Florida).
That is some sexy 70’s porn!
Whatever happened to Charlie’s insta-marriage, anyway? Did she go down the memory hole?
Holy shit! My home state of Florida is actually positively effecting the outcome of an election? Rejoice!!!
4tehlulz: In response, Crist said, “My God, I just blew the whole state of Florida for John McCain, how many other states does he want me to blow?”
Holy Jesusfish popsicle! Is a republican actually trying to take Florida back from the all the heat-stroked morans? Might I eventually be able to shamelessly claim FL as my home state?
Jebediah: HURRAH!! NOW WE CAN ALL VOTE FOR NADER!!!
McCain: Dammit! How do they expect us to win this thing if they keep letting the “people” actually vote?!
Charlie’s been hanging around those Boca jewesses for too long now. They’ve finally schooled him on the notion of “DEAD TO ME.”
That crazy alliance between negroes, gays and muslins should prove to all of you non believers the end of time is near, ergo Hopey is the antichrist.
Jebediah: You know, if you want to be a true conspiracy theorist, you might wonder how FL will benefit under Hopey. If the pork goes down to Gainseville and screams, Sooey, the fix might be in.
It wouldn’t be a bad play by Crist, actually. Call up Hopey behind the scene and offer to take the porn ’stache into the tank.
Crist went to Disney World rather than be with Walnuts at a rally. That’s pretty harsh. But it makes sense if you don’t give a damn about downticket either.
4tehlulz: Does Palin really have big boobs? People keep referring to them, but I’ve never noticed them and usual I’d be the first.
Worlds End: THAT REMINDS ME OF A PAINFULLY LONG STORY
queeraselvis v 2.0: +1. Sitting shiva reverse cowboy style for Charles in Charge.
Cape Clod: Also, it should be noted that this came from a “plugged-in” Florida Republican. Were they plugged into Charlie?
aleks: Compared to Cindy’s, yes.
That pic!
ALL for ‘Stache, and ‘Staches for All!!
And, at the celebrated Pie Roast event (memories…)
Plus, the “Ni**ers Knith Attitude” tee doesn’t hurt, either…
kthx,going back to bed now,bai.
I was right walnuts cant do anything right.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/28/minnesota-mccain-campaign_n_138619.html
aleks: I say the same thing.
Apparently Crist didn’t like Walnuts’ “Sorry Charlie.”
Partially because of Palin and the other because he not a fan of Tuna.
Charlie hates that they picked Sarah over him.
I guess I might as well take this opportunity to ask- who else out there is from FL?
…and why is it so cold?
Jebediah: Hell freezing over? Red state turning blue? A gust of North East elitism?
Jebediah: I am a Jew/Cracker hybrid — always lived in FL (and no one else will take me). Methinks the cold is from the global warming.
Will somebody SHUT this woman up with all her “clean coal” and “our natural gas from God!”
senorajoselina: What part?
A native Floridaño here, bred’n’fed in the Land o’ Flowers…
Republicans critics of Crist are wrong. All the OBAMA voters CAN vote during business hours because they are on WELF…(*click!*)
Jebediah: Anna maria island here
How fucking sad is your political party when the ONLY way you can win is by keeping people from voting. Yesterday some moran put a McCain/Palin sticker on my car (I have an Obama magnet on my car). What a bunch of pathetic food wasters they are. Dear God PLEASE bring a Hopey victory. I hate these crazy fucktard Repubicans. In a Christian way, of course.
Itsjustme: Itsjustme: And let her dress the way she does in alaska:
http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/political-pictures-sarah-palin-rnc.jpg
Imagine how different the world would be if Palin had blown Florida for Walnuts…
Jebediah: senorajoselina: I don’t know how your heads haven’t exploded, I had to get the hell out of there. I feel safer in Baltimore than I did around some of the swamptrash muddin’ types down there, and the jesus fish count is way lower up here.
“plugged in? In what respect charlie?”
that pic! is that an outtake from the low-rent gay version of boogie nights?
i’m totally gay for charlie crist when he extends early voting poll hours.
How low can some people go. Allowing citizens to lawfully cast their ballots for elections? Some people have to shame. Though I just love the open admission that allowing people to openly and legally vote more conveniently is a massive disadvantage to John McCain. Next people will actually want those votes counted. McCain gets screwed again.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Robbertjan: Whos the hooker with the baby?
I mean, like she gave blowjobs to the whole state, not like she just acted her normal fool self…
[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,
and Florida wouldn’t even kiss him on the mouth until he scurried to the bathroom and brushed his teeth
senorajoselina: Ah, yes. The illusive Jew/Cracker. Crackers are so much more endearing than “fuckin’ rednecks.” Though we have plenty of them, too.
Gingah: Wow, another native! *Terrorist fist bump*
Worlds End: Ahh, way out west! I was born and raised in elitist St. Augustine, and recently transplanted to Jacksonville for work.
How the fuck is this guy this on the radio http://mediamatters.org/items/200810280016?f=h_clips
Hamster: Safer in Baltimore? One of my only experiances with that city was a guy at a bar showing me his “Stay True” tattoo, and an abdominal knife wound…
Jebediah: I just did the early voting thing here today in the “I-4 corridor” (after I was told by somebody there Monday that I had to show up between 8 and 4, after I get to work and before I get home), took about half an hour or so, and you’re such a lightweight for saying this is cold. It’s not even freezing yet! Just put some long sleeves on and suck it up!
Jebediah: Yeah, buddy!
you guys didn’t read the fine print. during the extended hours, you can only vote on butterfly ballots for bob barr or that crazy black woman who hates teh jews. so you see, it’s still good for republicans.
Hamster: Hey, some of us *like* living next to the Bermuda Triangle…
i never seen so many dominican women with cinnamon tans
Worlds End: Or this ‘tard- http://www.sacunion.com/mark/ I ranted on his worshippers a few weeks back and my comments kept getting deleted so I gave up.
My 13 year-old son told me last night that Sarah Palin was a “noob”. *sniff* I’ve never been so proud!
Jebediah: San Agustín, eh? Some of my historical buds up there have proposed the following bumpersticker: FLORIDA POLITICS – CORRUPT AND INCOMPETENT SINCE 1565
Further evidence, if any such were required, that John McCain is not “hung.”
Guppy06: We had frost this morning! FROST!!! Hahaha, at least I ditched the flip-flops for actual shoes.
WOAH, Crist with Walnuts on CNN right now.
I think he’ll call him a fruitcake on TV.
Guppy06: Jeb’s right - anything below 70 is TOO cold for this hot-house blossom…
It was obvious Florida was in the tank last year based on the Bob Allen Bathroom
polepoll.Jebediah: You cant buy a reasonable house for less than 700000 and the rent is fucking expensive, on the island that is, Also no rednecks.
http://www.beachhunter.net/annamaria/images/a_maria_water_8605.jpg
http://home.comcast.net/%7eharrington.james/anna_maria_island/bird_sunset_florida.jpg
Hey our new boy friend Charlie Crist is standing behind Walnuts now - laughing at his lame jokes and nodding every time Walnuts says my friends.
tootsieroll: Your son is awesome
Chuck Christ clearly hates America, letting all those Wahabi terrorists vote.
I’d say Fidel is fixin’ to receive the red carpet from Comrade Carlos.
No hating on FSU, y’all! It’s served me quite well (minus the Pikes–can’t help that fact), and is helping The Hope win Indiana. Bow down to the genius of the FSU poli sci programs.
P.S. Crist really is a decent guy. Too bad he’s getting hosed (and not in a good way).
Damn proud of our bisexual gov’nuh!
“Bisexual”?
I imagine, just off-camera, Chris Farley in a false moustache, glasses, grass skirt, and coconut bra dancing and singing/chanting, “DAAAA Bulls da Bulls da Bulls da Bulls da Bulls da Bulls da Bulls…”
Gingah: Haha, sounds about right! Gotta love The Nation’s Oldest City*!
*The nation’s oldest continuously inhabited European settlement.
“‘[Crist] just blew Florida for John McCain,’”
Well, after all, the state is shaped like a big penis.
If some how we lose this my parents said they want to go back to england
Worlds End: Ooooohhh, purdy….
SeminoleInDior: I can’t harbor too much animosity towards someone who supports the Everglades.
ACORN!!!!!!!1! BWAHHH!!!!!!1!
That is all.
Worlds End: My 16-year-old has checked out New Zealand residency requirements, just in case.
Jebediah: Could be worse: yesterday I saw a woman wearing socks with her sandals. I thought such things only existed in legend!
Guppy06: Haha, new to these parts? $10 says she was originally from Ohio…
Volusia Supervisor of Elections may end up giving the finger to Charlie!
http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_politics/2008/10/election-superv.html
Guppy06: Or in England. Lots.
senorajoselina: Even if she has the better tan.
I need more photographic evidence of the 1970’s gay, redneck, fraternity culture. THERE MUST BE MORE PHOTOS WITH MORE MOOOSTACHIOS!
aleks: Yes, Palin has big boobs. But she dresses a little on the matronly side, to downplay them, as big-titted women in politics or business are usually instructed to do.
Jebediah: yo … the burg.
TED STEVENS FOR PRESIDENT!
Meth Lab for Cutie: St. Pete, eh? How’s the whole indian burial mound curse thing working out for ya?
Let’s not forget that last year, Charlie made the clemency board restore the voting rights of 120,000 felons who had served their time and paid court ordered restitution. Florida wingnut Republicans were outraged.
But Crist stood firmly behind those felons and gave them the push to citizenship that he felt they deserved!
Jebediah: Odo here - and no, I have nothing to do w/ the damned theme parks…
Jebediah: ah, that must be where they built that stupid baseball stadium. i haven’t lived there in a long time but it’s a swell place.
Jebediah: West Coaster here, and the Indian Burial Curse has kept us from hurricanes for many moons…
Gingah: I have some friends at UCF whose friends have various jobs for the parks… I can’t imagine the toll that going to a theme park daily must have on a person.
I was raised in the I-4 (redneck) corridor.
freakishlystrong: Wow, the left coast is really well represented here. I guess we know where a FLonkette meetup would be centered.
Jebediah: It would be a smashing time dahling!
My cousin was Goofy in Orlando for a year. Really tall and gangly. Apparently the suited characters complain that pervs are always trying to grope them.
Jebediah: From what I’ve seen, being forced to be perky and cheerful, all day, every day, results in severe drinking issues and assorted sexual perversions. Which is kinda fun for the rest of us ’round here…
nurple: We’re getting waaaay off point here, but, at different times, I used to date both Goofy and Tigger. Life in Odo can be…different…
nurple: Hahah, in middle school, a friend of my got roughed up by an ill tempered Tigger. It was a little surreal.
I imagine the pervery is on both sides of the fur with the rise of Furries these days.
This is *SO* un-american! They should stick to 8-5, like the REAL AMERICANS in Texas!
-SP
He also said the allegations of ACORN fraud were exaggerated he doesn’t think Obama’s a socialist, and that Sarah Palin hadn’t swayed undecideds to the ticket. Ha-ha! Someone caught the truth bug!
http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/More_Florida_angst.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/21/notebook.callebs.crist/index.html
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/state/orl-capview1208oct12,0,3684013.column
Gingah: Which makes it a great escape from the shittyness that is Jacksonville.
Cape Clod: Was is “Florida” and “Republican”?
SeminoleInDior: Loved FSU and the theatre dept. No hate for the ‘Noles.
iolanthe: and she’s a Christian. Lest we forget, because she hasn’t reminded us 15 times in the last 30 seconds!
freakishlystrong: Good Republicans are Bad for Democracy?
Worlds End: Savage: “Although I’d get near 100s on certain exams, they put me at the back of the bus”
The only exam he got 100% on was when the proctologist snapped on the latex gloves and told him to bend over the table.
I am from Florida, and I like our little sunburnt gay turtle of a Governor.
My prediction is that North Carolina or Pennsylvania will be the “Florida” of the 2008 elections.
GideonGlib: I thought he was a *tall* “sunburnt gay turtle of a Governor”…
I feel sorry for Charlie Crist. His negatives are going up and he blames Sarah. If Sarah puss him for the Vice spot when Sarah is so dumb …this makes Charlie a gump.
Oh, our sometimes okay orange governor! How’s that for an October surprise; this is clearly what McCain gets for making Christ get “engaged”.
4tehlulz: And we all know what Florida looks like on the map…
4tehlulz:
“This is what happens when you pick a functional retard with big tits over people who might be qualified to be VP.”
Don’t you be messing with Katherine Harris … man I miss her … HEY EDS, can we see the horseback photo for ol’ times sake?
I say they should have 24-hour voting at Disneyworld, The Hopiest Place on Earth!!!
Vote AND Ride the Pirates of the Caribbean, just one more time (while putting Obama stickers on all of the plastic pirates!)
Man, look at that tan! I sat next to Charlie Crist when he was a lowly Education Commissioner and I was a power-crazed student body president. It was some bullshit conference on school safety in Naples, Florida. I was mesmerized by his pores and his ability to pretend that anything other could ever happen in 19050s dystopia, Naples, Florida. I’m certain he will be coming (hehe) to a Cocktober near you. Anyway I’m glad he did the right thing. In Gainesville where I now live I waited like forever to vote for my belowed Obama.
Shout from Jville here! Our gubner was a Pike???? Well that explains alot. dicks.
“’Crist gives ACORN more time to cheat’”
Funny, I know I heard Jeb Bush telling a roaring crowd of Florida Republican to vote early and often on the radio this morning. Ahem.
wow all the Florida republicans on that St. Petersburg article are REALLY mad at Crist for letting people vote.
heronimule: A Florida Education Commissioner who went on to bigger and better things?
The FL Education Commissioner who addressed my graduation at Boca Raton HS in 1969 was arrested shortly afterward for some, uh, financial impropriety.
Ah, those giddy days when Democrats were in power and all known improprieties were fiscal!
IslandGirlFL: Alas, someone else from Jax! So does the city really get pretty crazy for the game this weekend?
I see a threesome!