Wonkette
This is a pretty hilarious Web Commercial from Mr. Sincere McDignity, “That One.” It makes the obvious point that if you are a dumb libtard who is somehow winning the race, you will comically start celebrating before you reach the actual finish line, and you will FAIL, and a terrible giant-bobble-head Walnuts McCain will beat you, the way the Desert Tortoise beat the Jackrabbit.
Your co-editor Jim Newell got in trouble with The Ladies over at the lady website today for casually saying he probably wouldn’t vote, because he lives in D.C., and what the hell, etc., and his pills run out on Sunday, so by Election Day he’ll probably just be crying in the tiny crack-pipe-filled back yard, hundreds of fat greasy rats just cold climbing over his head, for sport.
But he does at least have a semi-valid lazy-ass point, as Washington voters are so deep in the tank that most of them have drowned, yet they just keep voting. Ghouls, all of them.
And hell, something like a third of all voters may have already voted. Why not just get high now, and stay that way, so you’re “prepared” to deal with whatever happens, good or ill?
Because you must make sure your other loser friends and jobless relatives are sober enough to haul their ACORN-registered selves to the polls, dressed as Mickey Mouse, so they can vote for Communist Terror, forever.
And that is your Wonkette Public Service Announcement, until we get nervous and do another one in six or nine hours. It is kind of sad, to be in the tank when a Walnuts/Palin administration would provide so many laffes & gaffes. But we are willing to lose a few jokes [How about MILLIONS of jokes? -- Ed.] for the team, if it means not being burnt to death in the NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST which Palin/McCain would most surely cause.
Plus, McCain can just crap in his pants while he’s riding.
I know how Jim feels. My vote is probably not going to just put Hopey over the top… IN MASSACHUSETTS. But I’m going to go and vote anyway just so I can feel like I can be the top guy in a pile on.
President Pailin, as in for real, as in she grins at me whenever I’m clearing customs, is not funny. AT ALL.
Yeah this is one you probably want to own a piece of.
This will be my reoccurring nightmare for the next week. Only i’ll be naked, and my teeth will be falling out as i give a speech, that i am not prepared for, at the finish line.
A vote for Hopey is a massive FUCK YOU to McCain and Palin. So, that’s one reason.
This is also a bumper sticker and a campaign slogan, and whatever.
I voted last Friday… I needed to avoid the polls. I live in rural Indiana. Palin country. If Obama carries this state, I will do the Heisman pose on the lawn of every fucker around me with a McCain - Palin sign in their yard (that would be just about EVERYONE but ME).
I aint no hippy but I sure an high.
Re: [How about MILLIONS of jokes? -- Ed.]
Kudos for editing your own piece in the third person, Ken “Ed” Layne.
Anyway, even if you live in an in-the-tank state, you should vote because a bigger percentage win in the popular vote gives the future Obama presidency a greater mandate to push for their policies.
Also, there are Senators and Congressmen and the such you might want to vote for too. And don’t forget some people have important state-wide ballots about the Gay Marriage thing!
Finally, you should vote because I’m a foreigner and I can’t! It’ll really stick it to me if you do.
does the god that i worship hate me enough to allow a palin presidency? and by worship i mean deny the existence of…
I don’t think Walnuts can ride a bike because he’s old. He has one of the Hovround scooters instead. At age 72 John McCain went to the Grand Canyon!
“Why not just get high now, and stay that way, so you’re “prepared” to deal with whatever happens, good or ill?”
Done & done. Any other requests/demands?
I voted in Texas, so it doesn’t really matter, but I like to think I’m canceling out Ashley Todd’s vote. If she can vote at all.
Well I plan on voting, but only because I like to wear stickers on my clothes like I am a 3rd grader on a field trip at the local science museum.
Comedy will surely suffer under a Hopey administration.
I mean, there’s always Biden isn’t there?
sweetits: greatest comment I have read in the past 15 minutes. EVER. Kudos.
Look, it doesn’t matter where people live. We need a truly shocking, devastating, eye-popping popular vote total to maximize the political rubble entombing McCain and Palin forever. My greatest fear now is that Palin will somehow escape this race with a shred of dignity, become some kind of political celebrity, and therefore prevent me from escaping the daily choking rage I feel when I have to see her digusting face on my TV.
McCain hasn’t ridden a bicycle since his abortive escape attempt in ‘nam. He got stuck in a rice paddy, the NVA laffed their asses off, then beat the shit out of him.
On the other hand, well, your vote is just one vote out of SO MANY MILLIONS, how could it matter when Obama is ahead by so much? NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN, HEHNGNN?
WARBOMBS/APOCALYPSE-VAGINA ‘08!!
Correction: “NUCULAR HOLOCAUST”
But, my bong is in the tank, too!
Obonga!
Jim Newell, if you don’t vote on November 4, I am afraid Barack Obama will shake his head sadly at you and other youths like you who let the country down, like they do every time. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Whistleass is riding his bike drunk again?
My state hasn’t gone for a Dem Prez since LBJ and won’t this time either, but that’s life in effin blue-state hell. I’ll happily vote for Hopey anyway and vote against a bunch of local wankers too. Can’t wait to see Grampy and Bible Spice in a bitch-slap shoving match about 8:01 Tuesday night.
I tend to agree with our Editors on this one. See what happened the last time young, idealistic types put down the bong. They became this “thing”.
http://celebrityapes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cindy-mccain.jpg
I voted.
TWICE.
Because, what the hell, the lines were short… and hey, free sticker.
Goddamn, where did they get that video of Kerry on the bike? My prediction - Obama wins, Walnuts drops dead in 2010 and we all breath a collective sigh of relief that Palin is not president. She would make us yearn for “W”.
Ken I attempted this morning to convince Jim that WE need his precious vote - tank or no tank. By “we” I mean, me and all my terrorist loving friends, and all I got was mokery. I am happy others are joining my cause - thanks foreign guy who can’t vote!
And there’s me. A Minnesoter. Maybe not as important as OH, PA, or [insert McCain wet dream here] but if MN ends up a red state I’d never forgive myself. I’m still not convince Minnesota is in the tank.
http://www.pollster.com/polls/dc/08-dc-pres-ge-mvo.php
I will just stay here and type mean things about Republicans instead of waiting in line for 2 hours.
Styrofoam Boots: Obviously you have to vote. Sucker HA HA HA
*convinced*
Jim Newell:
Next, you’ll want to partition DC into separate autonomous regions.
That video looks vaguely like a French villiage…
Will we all wake up on Nov. 5 and have to learn French?
Jim Newell: Maybe, if you’re in an area that is being blanketed with official looking mail from the elections board that says “Due to expected high turnout, Democrats should come to the polls on Wednesday, November 5th”….
Maybe showing up to vote could counteract one of the morans who believe this kind of bullshit.
Oh, also, between work, family and knocking on doors for the Hopester, my schedule was already kinda packed. Now that you guys are putting out a Brazillion posts a day, I am just going to have to sleep less.
Styrofoam Boots: I KNOW….you drive around the lakes and you are in happy, hopey land. Head out to Chanhassen or Blaine and you want to drive into a wall.
Jim Newell: Point made!
I’m canceling out two of you non-voting useless weenies by voting for Walnuts. Just TRY to fuck with me. I’ll call Diebold, Inc. if I have to.
Who put two wheels on Grandpa Johnny’s walker anyway?
I’m a glaucoma patient. I’ll need the bong hit first, so I can see the ballot. I’m a big fan of Harvard studies especially when they suggest that mixing medication with pleasure ain’t nobody’s business if I do. I don’t plan to ride my bike to the polls, which is a shorter walk than to the dispensary in my small California town. I will walk, and I plan to vote for Barack Obama for president in the morning before the longer lines form. I know all the props and measures but I’m still looking at local faces. I am a lean mean green machine on that part of it. I like Ralph Nader and I plan to secretly wave to him while voting Democratic. Happy days are here again. The skies are bright and clear again. . .
How did McCain stay on the bike with that giant head? I’m confused.
Jim Newell: Enjoy your inevitable glory. SOME OF US don’t have a bigger tank to swim in. *sigh*
hockeymom: Agreed. Everywhere but Minneapolis (where I’m at) can fuck off. And since I do live in the city I can wear my 80 billion Barack shirts and buttons freely. Here’s how I’m thinking my day will play out on election day:
7:00am - Morning run
7:45am - Morning coffee
8:00am - Walk to polling place
8:15am - Take morning dump on the only McCain sign in the neighborhood (seriously, WTF?)
8:30am-6:15pm - Stand in the cold waiting for my turn (DAMN YOU MN AND YOUR NO EARLY VOTING!!!)
6:30pm-Next Wednesday - Drink. Hard.
Numbat Dundee: It’s empty.
Bong? I thought, chardonnay… do I have to start smoking weed now?
Meanwhile, where have all the Paultards gone?
Answer: They are all arguing amongst themselves on which vote is *more wasted*: write in Ron Paul, or Libertarian Barr, or Consti-theocrat Baldwin.
Jim Newell: Hmm. But what if all the Barry loving hobos wipe their asses with fliers that infrorm them they vote on Nov. 5th??
What about that?
So I’ve never voted for the winning candidate. Should I vote for McCain so as not to jinx Hopey?
I am in this until every last poll closes over in Vanatu or wherever. I despise that Rovian device of diminishing expectations. I’m like those people with fear of flying who can’t - won’t - stop obsessing about keeping the plane aloft for fear that if they stop, it’ll suddenly plunge to earth - all because they stopped obsessing.
Great ad, btw.
Rodney Badger: Um: NO.
CHRIST! Where did these half-wit fucktards get my e-mail address? The continuing unapologetic ignorance shown by these cretinous God-botherers is truly breathtaking. In typical Bitter fashion it was forwarded to me without stripping the 300 Bitter e-mail addresses he copied it to. Whoops. Let’s see -how about a timeline of crimes committed by angry old white Christard males -starting with, say, the Inquisition?
“These events are actual events from history..
They really happened!!!
Do you remember?
1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a Muslim male extremist.
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by Muslim male extremists.
3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by Muslim male extremists.
4. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by Muslim male extremists.
5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim male extremists.
6.. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by Muslim male extremists.
7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim male extremists. ( remember the pilot of this flight was from Richmond, MO)
8. In 1988 , Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim male extremists.
9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim male extremists.
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Muslim male extremists.
11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim male extremists.
12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim male extremists.
13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by– you guessed it– Muslim male extremists.
The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40’s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, he will destroy everything.
And Now:
For the award winning Act of Stupidity Of all times the People of America want to elect, to the most Powerful position on the face of the Planet — The Presidency of the United states of America .. A Male of Muslim descent who is the most extremely liberal Senator in Congress (in other words an extremist) and in his 40’s.
Have the American People completely lost their Minds, or just their Power of Reason ???
I’m sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the ‘unknown’ candidate Obama..
Bleeeeaaaaaghhhhhbwraodmfkjrvomoi.
If they showed McCain riding a Rascal® scooter I might not think this video was doctored in any way.
/s/Skeptical Late Voter
Enough electoral votes are probably in the bag (or tank), but a popular blowout is important if we can make it happen. No possible excuse should be given the legs to explain away an Obama victory. No legitimized whining about an ACORN boost. No hand-waving about a handful of treasonous swing districts. None of this bitching about the anachronistic electoral college distorting the will of the people. The landslide should bury the notion of mainstream, Main Street America supporting McCain/Palin, with a rarefied upper crust clinging to Hopey.
The Supreme Court in Brown v. Board of Education realized the importance of unanimity, down to Earl Warren inserting “unanimous” into his reading copy of the decision, which didn’t contain that word.
http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/brown/images/br0083s.jpg
Plus, the Supremes basically had to ignore enforcement for that unanimity. The nice thing for us is that we can deliver a popular mandate, with immediate electoral enforcement.
Humorless sanctimony for my rookie post? Awesome. But seriously, Jim Newell, can’t you post from your BlackBerry while standing in line at the polls? Win-win.
agitpropster: In 2012, I’m gonna write one of these, positing that Sarah Palin is the anti-Christ. Bare with me…
- Since everyone is EXPECTING a Muslim (actually Jewish, according to Falwell, but what’s the difference?), wouldn’t the devil totally throw us a curveball with a white Devil in a blue dress? That’s what I’d do.
- Christ-like appeal? You mean like thousands of dunderheads flocking to hang on her every canned word? Check.
- The bitch is evil. You know it, I know it. And damn sure Bristol knows it.
Plus, I can throw in some shit about the Mayan calendar and Armageddon. My chosen target audience will be New Age ex-drug addict Born-Agains for whom a mixing of religious symbologies without rhyme will be no particular problem. It always helps to know your customers.
“I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia…” Rev. 1:11
Go Phillies!
As a married man with 2 kids, all I will say is that the moment they announce Barack Obama has won the election, I will fuck the nearest person within a 15 foot radius. Because if I don’t make that pact with myself, I won’t get the chance to try again until the planet killing comet arrives.
I’m thinking how THIS year, yes, this year of or Lord, Two Thousand and Eight, eighth annum of the 21st century, this year could be the VERY FIRST YEAR I vote for the candidate who ACTUALLY WINS THE PRESIDENCY OF THESE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!*
* (not counting the year 2000 when I voted for Gore, natch.)
agitpropster: “These events are actual events from history..
They really happened!!!
Do you remember?
1. In 1204, Constantinople was sacked by, get this, Christians of European Ancestry!
2. In 1572, more than 8 000 Huguenots, including Admiral Gaspard de Coligny, Governor of Picardy, were killed- again, by the fellow European Christians.
3. Starting in the 1500’s, millions of Native Americans were systematically killed, and the survivors dispossesed of their lands and culture over the next 500 years, by European Christians!
And John “Walnuts” McCain is- get this- a white man of European Christian ancestry! I’m not voting for him- I know what he’s about and I can’t trust him!
Cape Clod: MA has nothing on DC. DC provided Walter Mondale with his only electoral votes outside of his home state of Minnesota. (And, while Mondale won MN by less than 1%, he won DC by something like a 70% margin over Reagan.)
ah, hell, I wish I could make it down to DC next week.
Lascauxcaveman: hahaha! Not my fault I was 16. So there.
Jim Newell: C’mon, ya gotta vote, Jimmy. Wouldn’t it be fun for a sorta soft, young, puffy white ginger like yourself to stand in line for hours and hours with a bunch of tough, testy, sweaty (perhaps rained-upon) indignant and RIGHTEOUSLY PISSED-OFF NEGROES in some sweltering middle school library on Nov 4?
You could tease them a little, wear a bunch of Palin-branded regalia and make snide, condescending remarks about “the real America” and “hard working white Americans,” “that baby-mama ho Michelle,” and suchlike.
It’d be a hoot!
shortsshortsshorts: I am old, and have been protest voting since I was a county convention delegate for John Anderson. True story.
Gore and Kerry are the only ‘real’ prez candidates I’ve ever voted for. My state (WA) is never a battleground, so I can vote for cheezy goofball 3rd-party types if I want to.
Lascauxcaveman: Whoa whoa whoa that was a bit over the hootspa, Mr. Caveman. As I am with a ginger who I love very gingerly, stand in line with teh darks, am easily angry and enjoy soap operas, I WILL DESTROY YOU.
agitpropster: Those idiots and their sky wizard
Lascauxcaveman: Yes, tough sweaty negroes like your future POTUS.
What’s with all of these fucking 10 page tomes in this thread? It’s a video of a guy falling down. We laugh. We point. We look to see if his junk flops out so we can laugh and point more. Is it really that complicated?
Lascauxcaveman: Yes I agree that Washington is full of the libtard AGENDA, as is my home in SF, but I contend that Kerry wasn’t a real person, and in fact, is not a real person. When his batteries die it will reveal a beast of a machine. Probably the scariest fucking thing anyone has ever seen, ever. He was made in the same factory as Cheney, as a prototype.
This tank everybody’s talking about, Is it a Panzser (if that’s the correct spelling)? Sherman? Tiger? or a bradley? maybe it’s a oil, gas, propane, water or a awww….SOMEBODY TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
shortsshortsshorts: My guess is robot but a crappy model
http://www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do?id=D81F2344BF5AC7BB72C32624E72B3CFF0DFFC49A6FCD178D
lizardmess: We gotta get Noriega elected. That’s the job of every Texan this year.
palmerdawg: Its filled with elven blood
I am going to slip over to Huffy P for a sec, then play some internets dominoe and awwww…………. i keep having these McCain moments.
InsidiousTuna: Oh fuck yeah. john cornyn can choke on donkey spooge.
palmerdawg: I see it as a very, very, large tank, filled with pudding. Everyone in it is not only naked, but has had their youth restored.
I see it as a very large tank, filled with pudding. Everyone in it is naked, and has had thir youth restored.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?(CAPS CAUSE I AM FUCKING MAD!) See this is what i get for not doing what i said i was going to do, *sigh* LA Times has some so called video of O with some PLO guy and McBatshit is trying to make a stink. WONKETTE get on top of this please?
“During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars. A 1998 tax filing for the McCain-led group shows a $448,873 grant to Khalidi’s Center for Palestine Research and Studies for work in the West Bank. (See grant number 5180, “West Bank: CPRS” on page 14 of this PDF.) The relationship extends back as far as 1993, when John McCain joined IRI as chairman in January. Foreign Affairs noted in September of that year that IRI had helped fund several extensive studies in Palestine run by Khalidi’s group, including over 30 public opinion polls and a study of “sociopolitical attitudes.” ———- Ben, you might want to ask McCain about his own connection to Khalidi.”
“Khalidi quote in April of 1999. “We are very proud of our work, and so very grateful to our good friend and benefactor Sen. John McCain. If it weren’t for my friend Sen. McCain’s insistence and dogged determination to help us get those grants, we would never have been able to fund our operations in Palistine and especially the key communications links setup by satellite to keep our forces in constant contact with each other over harsh terrain.”"
I got this off shit bag Ben Smith’s blog, i know, i know, I SAID I KNOW!
Goodnight Wonkette people:
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/22017#powers
Keep in mind it’s a fucking book review, but Thomas Powers is fucking MAJESTY in this.
agitpropster: I am tempted to change my nickname to “Muslim male extremist”
shortsshortsshorts: See, this is all just common sense. The fact that this has to be written is sad for us.
grendel: Thomas Powers is completely washed up, I agree. Krugman is a more familar-type, http://www.nybooks.com/articles/22017#krugman
Paul Krugman is the new librul agenda, out to destroy us all.
Oh boy, that was close. McNastyface was and probable still in bed with the group.
They can have my bong when they pry it from my cold dead hands.
I live in Jesusland, so my prez vote is worth as much as Walnuts’ “dignity.” That said, I’m voting anyway, because then I can pretend like I’m that little girl in those old-skool Shake-N-Bake commercials that none of these 15-year-old-libtards who read this site will remember.
Plus, also, I live in an actual state (unlike Jimmy Newl), so we have down-ballot Reps and Sennies and other sexy-gay-corporate-whore-whatnots to vote for. It’s not as if the self-neutered GOPpers won’t win across the board in my state anyway, but like I said, I’m helpin’ Obammy Mommy stick some crumbs onto some cheap-o chicken meats.
Seriously, you can have me put down the bong, or you can have me vote. But you can’t have both.
Vote early, pachouli-loving Pinkos. I got my “I Voted” sticker the other day, here in Illinois. I waited about an hour and forty-five minutes because the early-voter location only had ten Sequoia touch-screens handy. Um, I’m in Cook County, man. I’m still shaking my head. Whatev! I voted. Get in line and make friends. I wish it was next Tuesday already.
I posted about the McCain campaign blabbermouths today. Such fun for me, kids, so much.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/10/mccain-insiders-suffering-thinking.html
Presidents Gore and Kerry insist that you take nothing for granted! We have to absolutely DROWN these f—ers in votes for Hopey to make up for the number of Diebold machines that are in use.
I feel the same way. I’m in Illinois, and I have Rahm “mulatto moon destroyer” Emanuel as a Congressman. My vote don’t mean jack. More than likely though, I’ll show up at my polling place, high on pills, to pick up whorish libsluts, fresh off their most recent abortions.
sadderbutnowiser:
Folks can vote early in IL until the 30th (as long as they are registered!). After that, they need a valid excuse that comes with paperwork. Or they can vote Tuesday. Two girls left the line while I was there. They were “told” in their neighborhood that they could register and vote on the same day here. A lie. It was sad. They said it was their first time voting… This is my 6th presidential election, and I’ve seen more of this blatant buggery in the past eight years than I can count.
Woodwards Friend: Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of video editing in my time, and I’m going to have to say that this video is fake. Johnny McCain can’t raise his arms that high. Plus, his head is bigger.
Go out and make a difference, peoples! Vote! Volunteer! I’m helping out; why aren’t you?
Oh, tsk tsk quit your worrying about lack of comic material. The continued destruction of the GOP as a mass will continue to amuse for a long time a coming…..
agitpropster: I can’t help but feel that if this would turn out to be true I would probably be laughing my ass off.
bhosp: This is what I’m saying. My husband and I are voting absentee. In Louisiana. Do I honestly think our envelopes will even be opened? Nope. Do I want to be able to tell my grandkids we voted for That One? Fuck yes.
Jim Newell: You’re not even planning to mail it in? Just so you can use it to make out with liberal chicks? “I just couldn’t stand by and let those GOP bastards take away your right to choose…to fuck the shit out of me.” It works. Seriously.
Criminy. I hate this choking in the last week talk. VOTE, you bastards, VOTE. I don’t care how many Democrat votes your state already has. JUST DO IT, DAMMIT.
GO VOTE PEOPLE!!!! EVERY VOTE MATTERS!
InsidiousTuna: John Cornholio must go!
Anyone see Hillary Rosen bitch slap Ari Fleischer and Karen Hughes on Larry King last night?
If you don’t vote, you can’t complain about anything, ever.
Can you really go through life without complaining. So go vote.
Jim Newell: You are in danger of being kicked out of the tank. Sure your vote doesn’t really matter. But if you don’t vote, can you really complain?
free food at Cal Tort if you show them the I voted sticker you stole from someone who actually voted.
Jim Newell: Fine, don’t vote. Get ye to Pennsylvania and help get out the vote there….since you don’t have anything better to do.
I already voted, so I guess Obama can sodomize a baby now and there’s nothing I can do about it. Though I’d probably just try to vote for him a second time if he did.
You Dems have it so in the bag my advice would be to stock up on some seriously resinous type weed and just watch the results on teevee. Trust me, we righty wingnuts are soooo demoralized by Bushy-fatigue we won’t even bother to go vote, or especially vote twice, for John McCain and Kristy McNichol, I mean Sarah Palin…
I voted a week ago, and now they’re saying Fl. is “neck and neck”, my ass it is; I was the only honky I saw and the polls are mobbed. If those two nazis win Fl. it’ll be because Diebold became self aware.
freakishlystrong: So Diebold = Skynet?
agitpropster: Ugh! I wonder how many of my well meaning but dim witted friends or families will send me that or post that to their facebook page? This sort of “genius” with its clean cut “logic” of Muslim = Terrorist = Anti-Christ = Obama only proves how simple minded and stupid people are. And to think I was starting to have a restored sense in my fellow man after spending 2 1/2 hours in line to vote surrounded by my crazy gay liberal neighbors here in South Florida (otherwise known as one of those toss up states that can eff up the election)
Must go to the Obama rally this afternoon to help ease my growing anxiety (the martinis aren’t helping and the damn random drug testing leaves no other options
I voted early in Ohio on 10/15. If I can haul my ass off the couch and drive downtown, no less, to stand in line and vote, the surely you can too. I may be the laziest person on my block.
freakishlystrong: Are you in North or Central FL? South Florida is definitely a lock for Obama -its the “folksy” (read: redneck) citizens up in North/Central that can eff it up for us
I wasn’t here in 2000 but I dont think I can stand it if they blame another election on this gloriously fucked up state of mine….
sweetits: stop tempting God! You want him to sic Joe “Chosen People” Lieberman on us?!
El Topo: “An African-American won the majority of the popular vote in the most racist country in the world and after 232 years finally fulfilled the Founder’s promise of equality… AND I HELPED!”
Mr Blifil: I don’t understand, are you saying you’d fuck your kids?
Liberals, lock up your daughters!
I am registered to vote in 20 states and plan to hit each one. I will do my part.
Jim Newell: WARBOMBS/APOCALYPSE-VAGINA ‘08!!
oh my god, I want that on a t-shirt.
Oh, and, it is worth waiting in line to say you voted for the first Black President. It is corny and cheesy, but this is history. I voted early, on a machine in VA, and I still got goosebumps when I cast my vote.
I’m voting so I can get a free ice cream cone from Ben & Jerry’s…
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: right: don’t vote, don’t bitch.
Oh, and here’s some inspiration from South Africa:
http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/040414/040414_southafrica_vlg_7a.widec.jpg
agonista: or, in DC, free booze:
YET ANOTHER REASON TO VOTE THIS YEAR: Customers who bring their “I Voted Today” stickers to Johnny’s Half Shell (400 North Capitol St. NW; 202-737-0400) on Nov. 4 can turn them in for a free drink.
Co-owner John Fulchino says he’ll be whipping up a big batch of Southern Strategy, which he describes as a margarita made with bourbon instead of tequila and garnished with orange instead of lime. The cocktail’s name, he says, is “a nod to the perceived importance of winning the South in a presidential election.”
Why the free booze? “This is an important election,” Fulchino says. “We’re hoping a lot of people will vote.”
The restaurateur has no idea how many people will take him up on the deal, but he says he’ll be braced with “all hands on deck.” And he wants you to know it’s one vote, one drink. “Hopefully,” he says with a laugh, “we’ll recognize faces the first time around.”
According to Fulchino, Barack Obama has visited the seafood restaurant on the Hill several times. John McCain has yet to fish there.
And who’s Fulchino casting his vote for? “This is a bipartisan restaurant,” responds the smooth politician, whose promotion for the event diplomatically promises “a grand old party for both parties.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/28/AR2008102800940.html
My North Carolina vote is meaningful! President, senator, and governor races all could go either way!! I’m going to matter!! I never thought this would happen when I got here a few years ago. I seriously can’t even feel cynical right now. I’m sure I will again soon, but at this moment, no.
You have succintly put your finger on the main issue concerning joke loss vs. FLAMING NUCLEAR DEATH. Perhaps the scarcity of jokes will require an exchange equivalent to the NYSE? That way, we can buy some from Russia where Putin continues to ‘Put out’.
agitpropster: I’m still trying to figure out how the Bible, whose most recent chapter was written roughly either 300 or 600 years before the Birth of Islam, says the Antichrist is Muslim.
Having been a good little Fundie at one time, I know my Bible pretty well, and … there is nothing of the sort there, no Age Range given.
Don’t these people check any sources?
Oh. Yeah. What was I thinking?
Jim, when are you guys going to turn New Columbia into a breakaway republic with whom we can start a million wars forever and ever amen? Your vote for Hopey Obomba for elite Stalinist dictator for life (or longer) is an important piece in the puzzle for merging with Communist NoVA and creating a new world order capable of launching a billion Ron Paul Liberty Blimps against the Republic of Real Virginia.
Seriously, you guys. If I had known it was this cathartic, I would have started getting wasted before 9am every day.
Cape Clod: Yeah I’m voting in Massachusetts too, so I can say I VOTED FOR THE BLACK GUY to the various racist creeps and Republicans (is there a difference?) that one encounters from time to time…
Chief Grinning Eagle: I’m heading for my co-op now to stock up before the pre-vote rush. I’ll be blazing all damn day.
My vote might actually count here in Arizona! The latest poll says Hopey McChange is down by 2 in the Geezer’s own state!
Holy fuck!
lizardmess: Will be interesting to see how San Antonio goes. Hispanics were for Hillary, blacks that moved in from New Orleans are in the tank for Obama…yes, it will be interesting.
agitpropster: The obvious response is to hit the “reply all” button, type this message, and then hit “send”:
You are an idiot of epic fucking proportions. Please kill yourself. I’m not joking.
agitpropster: I’m getting the same fire down here in Georgia. Just keep your head down and let ‘em keep shootin’ those messages. Remember, if you have their attention, then they’re not out there scouting for others of us … our comrades, er, allies can get to the polls and vote.
When the Limbaugh/Hannity diversion comes on their AM radio - check local listings - make a break for it and go vote!