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NATION OF SLIMEBALLS

Sarah Palin Now Hates Ted Stevens’ Guts, Too

Sarah Palin took a HARD LINE against domestic terrorist Ted Stevens this afternoon after a wishy-washy first response, saying he “needs to step aside.” Take that, crook. Sarah Palin is playing a good hand here: get this douche out of the way tonight, appoint herself to fill out the remainder of his term in the Senate, quit that on Friday morning, and then campaign through Tuesday as a former Senator and Governor a.k.a. the most qualified candidate on either ticket in the last quarter-century. [LAT/Top of the Ticket]


4:14 PM on Tue October 28 2008
By Jim Newell
2821 Views

  1. You’ll be laughing out of the other side of your mouth when she takes your advice.

  2. DAmicosonegoodyear says at 4:20 pm, October 28th, 2008

    One eye’s looking at me… the other? THE FUTURE!

    Which, according to that interesting Kos link someone posted earlier, will be a wacked-out christian dominionist wasteland… like Fallout, with out the humour.

  3. magic titty says at 4:21 pm, October 28th, 2008

    She’s a real fucking maverick, that one.

  4. Smackdown says at 4:21 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I heard on NPR that state law prevents her from appointing a senator, so it means she or Senator Babyjesus will have to be voted in by the state. Which I think entails sending in a salmon that one has made one’s X on.

  5. Sarah Palin totally threw Uncle Ted under the snowmobile.

  6. Serolf Divad says at 4:22 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Maybe Stevens and Larry Craig could share a cell?

  7. People in glass houses…

  8. Why quit? She can be a sitting Governor AND Senator, and make her choice after the election!

  9. dano: It’s “snow machine,” jackass

  10. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    You see, Sarah Palin’s love is not a dump truck. It’s more like a series of tubes.

  11. MoodProcessor says at 4:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Serolf Divad:
    Keepin’ the rest of the cell-block awake with their incessant Morse Code-

  12. I can’t wait to hear what Stevens has on Maverick Spice

  13. Worlds End says at 4:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    DAmicosonegoodyear: The dogemperor diary?

  14. OzoneTom says at 4:27 pm, October 28th, 2008

    johnbpt: Thankfully, after the Murkowski imbroglio in Alaska “a bill to prevent future governors from making long-term appointments to the Senate became law — without the signature of the governor”

  15. 3dollarbill says at 4:29 pm, October 28th, 2008

    There’s that adorable rogue Palin, gone all mavricky with her opinions and stuff

  16. Sarah Palin calling Ted Stevens a corrupt and unethical politician is like an orange calling an orange orange.

  17. BigDupa: We called them Snowmobiles in North western Pennsylvania, Mofo. I myself had an Arctic Cat 440.

  18. slappypaddy says at 4:29 pm, October 28th, 2008

    So she’s a maverick, a barracuda, and a whack job—perfect GOP nominee for 2012, which will be the approximate number of bitterz left in that party.

  19. chascates says at 4:29 pm, October 28th, 2008

    If Palin was a real maverick she would say the trial found Stevens not guilty. Like the Troopergate probe found her.

  20. MoodProcessor:

    — .– — .– — .– …. . …. -. –. -. -. — .– — .– — .– …. . …. -. –. -. -. — .– — .– — .– …. . …. -. –. -. -.

  21. SayItWithWookies says at 4:31 pm, October 28th, 2008

    She should appoint White Fang. He’s cute, he’s loyal, he’s tough — what more could you need?

  22. Cape Clod says at 4:33 pm, October 28th, 2008

    “Yeah, yeah. Ted Stevens, you know, a sad day for Alaska yesterday when he was found guilty of seven felonies. But — and now he needs to do the right thing, and the right thing is — as he’s proclaiming his innocence and proclaiming, too, that he will go through the appellate process.

    OK, then he needs to step aside and allow our state to elect someone who will be supportive of those ideals of America: the free enterprise, the missions that we’re on, to win the war, those things that have got to take place in order to progress this country. Ted Stevens has got to play a very statesmanlike role in this now.”

    Has this woman ever cobbled together a normal sentance in her life?

  23. magic titty says at 4:33 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Why hasn’t she asked Barack Hussein Obama to step aside? He’s a baby killing muslim terrorist socialist redistributor Hamas loyalist ACORN half-bred anti-American black power welfare televangelist. AYERS!1!!

    There’s definitely a felony or 9 in there. What gives?

  24. 4tehlulz says at 4:34 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Smackdown: OH U! Your silly laws can’t stop the Saraccuda!

  25. wildeoats says at 4:35 pm, October 28th, 2008

    First, she didn’t blink and then she did? Or she did blink and then after Gramps said Stevens had to go, she didn’t blink and shot Ted like the wounded, aging moose he is?

    All this spastic eye movement of the Repubs has me confused.

  26. DAmicosonegoodyear says at 4:35 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Worlds End: Along those lines, si…

    What I hate about the whole thing is that if Hopey wins over the forces of Grumpy, it will easily be used to rally the Repubtards… They don’t see him as conservative as they want, and with as much damage that has been done to the government and the nation, Barry’s going to have a hell of an up-hill battle. AHHH!!!

  27. OzoneTom says at 4:36 pm, October 28th, 2008

    OzoneTom: Though actually the law gives her plenty of wiggle-room to take advantage of Jim’s excellent suggestion since it permits short-term appoinments, come to think of it.

  28. palmerdawg says at 4:36 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Did anyone see the video of them together? Fuck it i saw it on huffy P, They were so close, what happen? Talk to me Sarah!
    Stevens called the Plain-McCain get out of jail hotline, he was promptly placed on hold cause Karl Rove was on the other line, so Sarah ” I like fancy clothes ” Palin says to McNutz, what can we do? McCan’t says, i can’t do shit, not a fucking thing, you saw what happened to my friend Charles Keating………. nuff said.

  29. Gopherit says at 4:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Cough it up, stevens! Finish her!!!

  30. Sussemilch says at 4:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Nice thought, thanks. Now you’ve left me hoping he doesn’t resign and instead sits out the remainder of his term in the “cootie” section with Larry Craig.

  31. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:38 pm, October 28th, 2008
  32. blinky_twinkie says at 4:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Can one call a woman a douche? I’ve only heard it used for men, but if ever a woman cried out for appellations of douchebaggery, it’s Palin. Geeaugh.

  33. chascates says at 4:39 pm, October 28th, 2008

    grendel: and I’m betting Uncle Ted has some dope on the Straight Talker as well!

  34. queeraselvis v 2.0: Please stop talking about that guy. His bald head gives me a migraine.

  35. Cape Clod: Jesus, is that her actual quote? I was like, ha ha, that’s a pretty good spoof of something she’d say. But, no, looks like that actually IS what she said. Good lord.

  36. DieOnTheTurnpike says at 4:45 pm, October 28th, 2008

    DAmicosonegoodyear: The future, Conan?

  37. magic titty says at 4:46 pm, October 28th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Yes. Our fateful Joe says Obama winning would mean death to Israel. I’m glad he’s here.

  38. Itsjustme says at 4:46 pm, October 28th, 2008

    magic titty: By Maverick, do you mean C*nt?

  39. The Cold Sea says at 4:47 pm, October 28th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Well, he was planted and probablly paid for his efforts, afterall.

  40. grendel: C’mon, nobody wants to translate?

  41. Itsjustme says at 4:48 pm, October 28th, 2008

    grendel: Grendel, you have far too many skills to be reckoned with.

  42. Boy this is going to make the next Iron Dog Snowmobile Competition awkward. Do you think Teddy takes it out on Todd? Will the course be bathed in blood? Sarah messed with the wrong snow motor enthusiast.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  43. DAmicosonegoodyear says at 4:48 pm, October 28th, 2008

    DieOnTheTurnpike: I assume it’s the Futchum, at least… As he refuses to admit the past…

    Head like a potato! Lips like a duck!

  44. magic titty says at 4:48 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Cape Clod: She “was graduated from Wasilla”. She don’t needs no proper sentences.

  45. HuskyMescan says at 4:49 pm, October 28th, 2008

    dano: And now it’s war. Oh please god, by the powers of muthie and all witch forces, let Ted Stevens start ratting on Palin about her VECO projects.

  46. Weeping Jesus says at 4:50 pm, October 28th, 2008

    This might be the one thing Palin could say that will finally get her diehard loyalists in AK to start doing an Orient Express on her and taking turns knifing the bitch in the back. Uncle Ted is more popular there than she’ll ever be, even with a 5-to-life hanging over his head. For her to ram the old fart’s butt this bad is bound to make people wake up to what an opportunist cunt she is.

  47. HuskyMescan says at 4:51 pm, October 28th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Yay!!! McCain is saved ! he wins!! Sarah load up your stuffed moosehead and your consignment paraphernalia and Twat’s methlab. We’re going to the fucking whitehouse!!

  48. Itsjustme says at 4:51 pm, October 28th, 2008

    blinky_twinkie: Douchbagette

  49. DAmicosonegoodyear says at 4:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Itsjustme: I love those! With garlic butter and yummy snails!

  50. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:57 pm, October 28th, 2008

    HuskyMescan: Joe seems to be the only significant endorsement McCain has had in…EVER. And by my calculations, Joe’s fame timeframe is at 14:56.

  51. Atypical says at 5:02 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I for one can’t wait to see Palin in the WH because I for one have seen her in the WH.

    http://palinaspresident.com/

    Don’t forget to click to see her in action. She’s adorable.

  52. Wait, what?

    Palin: “OK, then he needs to step aside and allow our state to elect someone who will be supportive of those ideals of America: the free enterprise, the missions that we’re on, to win the war, those things that have got to take place in order to progress this country.”

    Yeah, she sounds like she knows what she’s talking about….

  53. Dee Rule says at 5:05 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Celeb Baby Specialist Dee Rule Endorses Obama for President

    As a Baby Specialist and Baby Nurse to many celebs I do believe Sara Palin is going through postpartum depression silently and is trying to hide a lot by accepting the Vice Presidensal nomination for the GOP. She cannot answer questions clearly or she just puts in whatever comes to mind without thinking. She seem so off her game and sometimes crazy like the “Putin Head Thing”. I have to put “Country First” and endorse Senator and Presidential nominee Barack Obama for President.
    http://www.BabyScheduleRuler.com

  54. One Yield Regular says at 5:06 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Speaking of Morse code, could someone please telegraph up to Alaska that the Confederacy was defeated a century and a half ago, and they should stop trying to join it?

  55. messickc says at 5:07 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Cape Clod: Amazing.

    At least Ms. South Carolina redeemed herself somewhat, but Palin… Oh. My. GOD! The more she speaks the worse she gets. Or maybe it’s just my tolerance level for her “speak” is exponentially decaying…

    I absolutely abhor her with every fiber of my being.

  56. messickc says at 5:11 pm, October 28th, 2008

    messickc: I’m from po’-ass South Alabama, and even we speak with more education than Caribou Barbie!!!

  57. She should appoint Trig. What a boon that would be for mothers of special needs infants! It would really show those baby killing Dems, too.

  58. HuskyMescan says at 5:18 pm, October 28th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: you’re right. He had all the neocons and lil shrub’d endorsements which he probably wishes never happened. …and bin Laden’s. Other than that, he’s got Joe’s!

  59. blinky_twinkie says at 5:23 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Itsjustme: Aww, but using a diminutive makes her and all the other hags sound petite, dainty, and harmless. It’s too easy to avoid responsibility for one’s douchebaggery if one is dainty. Fuck that.

  60. Smackdown: I don’t think that jives with the Seventeenth Amendment. Would she sue her own state in federal court?

  61. hobospacejungle says at 5:25 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Don’t look now but it seems Governor Palin is an evil superhero last seen on Smallville looking suspiciously like James Marsters. So much for women’s rights.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-27/sarah-palins-a-brainiac/1/

  62. Dee Rule says at 5:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Sara Palin is so lost my God!

    Postpartum depression is so serious and it can lead to madness. Women are strong people but Palin have a lot to deal with and she’s looking for attention and its the wrong type of attention for her problem. We should all come together to help her get help. Mr. Palin is doing nothing about it and the GOP doesn’t give a dam. I know Tod Palin loves the attention more than her. They’re addicted to the spotlight regardless of all the mess they have step in they still will love the applause from the miss directed crowd of Americans.

    Dee Rule, Author of The Baby Schedule Ruler
    http://DeeRule.com

  63. palmerdawg says at 5:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

  64. Itsjustme says at 5:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    blinky_twinkie: Lady Douchebag?

  65. DAmicosonegoodyear says at 5:41 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Ya’ll are so brilliant… Ya make me feel trig.

  66. zhubajie says at 5:56 pm, October 28th, 2008

    magic titty: So how come Joe doesn’t just live in Israel, serve in the IDF, etc? Men his age still serve, I believe?

    Zhu Bajie

  67. blackdontcrack says at 5:56 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Last night she would only say it was a “sad day” for Alaska and now she’s telling him to resign? I wonder who got to her? HEHNGNN?

  68. Toomush Infermashun says at 6:09 pm, October 28th, 2008

    OK, get me back on track…. is that a picture of Ted Stevens…? ‘Cause the more I look at it, I’m pretty sure it’s just a South Park frame. Gotta… quit lookin…

  69. Here is what Barbie said about Teddy a while back:

    “It is so encouraging to hear again that Senator Stevens and I are singing from the same sheet of music,” said Governor Palin. “In his address, he pushed for action this year on a natural gas pipeline. I also have the Senator’s assurance that once the state has acted on the AGIA, our Congressional Delegation will do everything it can do to expedite the federal review of the natural gas pipeline project.”

  70. slappypaddy says at 6:11 pm, October 28th, 2008

    grendel: It’s Morse to me. I gave it a swing and came up with a mess of T’s and A’s and H’s and E’s and it was making no sense to me, I thought I was channelling Drudge. I surrender, take my first-born, and here, this can of beans….

  71. estrangiero says at 6:12 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Ted is virtually bullet-proof in Alaska, I was so dissapointed in Maddow last night, MSNBC obviously has no grasp of the Alaska wingnut factor. As for Sarah, she has been into this edgeplay all along, I’m sure everyone is sick of it but: “She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. . . Remember: divas trust only unto themselves as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.”

    Its a little difficult to see in the news feeds but Ted is really quite short (same with his progeny, all short little fuckers with large misshapen heads). Its pretty comical when you are in a room with him, he starts into his tough-guy shtick and then you notice he is sitting on a stack of phone-books. For some reason I have this premonition that his son Ben is next up on the DOJ indictment list.

  72. sailingthestyx says at 6:17 pm, October 28th, 2008

    BigDupa: pretty sure that dano meant snowmobile, jackass…or did I mean donkey?

  73. sailingthestyx says at 6:19 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Cape Clod: can see why she didn’t prosper at journalism…

  74. blinky_twinkie says at 6:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Itsjustme: Nah, let’s just assume Douchebag is gender-neutral and call this dumbass Nazi bitch a douchebag.

  75. nmmagayar says at 6:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    blinky_twinkie: Mega-Douchebag?

  76. rocktonsammy says at 6:44 pm, October 28th, 2008

    She was for him before she was against him.

  77. Fivetree says at 7:07 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Oooooh, I LOVES me some GOP infighting. Can’t wait for Madame Stevens to unload on the Fraudbot and her grandfather Walnuts. You know he has dirt on the both of them and if he’s going down he will certainly take them with him. You mark my word.

  78. OhYeahAlright says at 7:30 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Seven > five and a half, but still not over 9000.

  79. ConstitutionalRiots says at 7:59 pm, October 28th, 2008

    “Govenor, I knew Ted Stevens. Ted Stevens was a friend of mine. You’re no Ted Stevens.”

  80. tom.birkland@gmail.com says at 8:09 pm, October 28th, 2008

    dano: Up in Alaska (ya know, where Ted Stevens and Sarah Palin are from) they’re called snowmachines, cheechako.

  81. blinky_twinkie: No, but you can call her a DOUCHE BAG!

  82. tom.birkland@gmail.com says at 8:18 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Dee Rule: Just one thought: WTF? Dee, are you for real? If so, find something relevant or funny to say, stat. Christ, when I was a kid, the snark grew on trees, it was too cheap to meter, and it was lying around on the ground. Now, I need a RSS feed and a fancy algorithm just to find something to giggle at. And it’s not programmed to flag “baby nurse to the stars.” Ef me.

  83. palmerdawg says at 9:19 pm, October 28th, 2008

    tom.birkland@gmail.com: Yeah,i sometimes i ask my girlfriend to de-snark me, no non-snarkers!

  84. WoundedVeteran says at 9:30 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Here it is boys, nice and stiff, Larry Craig, you grab it just above the balls, Ted Stevens, give me a couple of doulups and bob my knob like a republican in the land of the midnight sun, blow me until the sun comes up twice a year. Larry, I know I da ho, but you da bitch, and Ted, you are a CUNT!!

  85. WoundedVeteran says at 10:42 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I was going to leave this, but I can’t. I just walked my Aussie, Abbi, and my cow dogs, Miki and JR, what a crisp night….my hay is rolled, my cotton is in, and a record at that, and the night is bright.

  86. Cape Clod says at 10:47 pm, October 28th, 2008

    magic titty: I think she probably sounds like a Winston Churchill for stupid people.

  87. themightysea says at 12:45 am, October 29th, 2008

    MoodProcessor: Haha, morse code is not what will be tapped, methinks…

  88. runcrash says at 3:07 am, October 29th, 2008

    Okay, so if you are a convicted felon you might not be able to vote in elections but can you vote on the floor of the Senate?

  89. palmerdawg says at 3:38 am, October 29th, 2008

    runcrash: hmmmmmm

  90. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 6:28 am, October 29th, 2008

    Dee Rule: I disagree. There’s nothing chemically wrong with her. Her brain is just as smooth as Trig’s bottom is all.

  91. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 6:54 am, October 29th, 2008

    BTW it’s no wonder they’re BFF:

    Hasselbeck: Obviously both sides are trying to run and create image. So if we use this as, so they both have funds and are creating an image, making sure their candidates are where they need to be seen, as they need to be. I find it completely then repulsive to then - if we want to look at spending - see how Barack Obama now is going to spend what $3 million on two thirty minute ads that are going to run this week.

    Palin: “OK, then he needs to step aside and allow our state to elect someone who will be supportive of those ideals of America: the free enterprise, the missions that we’re on, to win the war, those things that have got to take place in order to progress this country.”

    Yikes, the things these bitches will do to the English language if they are given any power at all…the notion boggles the mind.

  92. dano: All normal people call them snowmobiles, and I had an Arctic Cat 44O too… damn thing went through snow like a gopher. Got buried more times than Ron Jeremey’s wang.

  93. palmerdawg says at 5:25 pm, October 30th, 2008

    Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.

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