Wonkette
- Remember all that fretting about if Angry Radical Firebrand Michelle Obama would ruin her husband’s campaign? She has done just fine, of course, and people love her. [New York Times]
- It looks like Kim Jong Il probably had a stroke and is being treated by a French neurosurgeon, but he’s still capable of running North Korea from the hospital. Now is the perfect time for Alec Baldwin to throw him in the shark tank. [BBC News]
- John McCain might be able to call himself “the comeback kid” if he had a plan for a comeback, which he does not. [BBC News]
- Global stocks surged today and Hong Kong recovered all of yesterday’s losses. Tomorrow, le deluge. [CNN Money]
- Doctors are diagnosing more people with diabetes at earlier stages of the disease and prescribing fancier drugs to treat it, and now costs have almost doubled. Here’s an idea, America: stop eating Heath Bar Shakes and take the stairs once in a while. [Boston Globe]
- Barack Obama might still lose the election, but it would be really hard, and people would have to sprinkle some extra stupid on their cornflakes next Tuesday morning. [Chicago Tribune]
more Extra Stupid, please
the comeback codger
It would also help matters if McCain were within seven decades of being anything resembling a kid, which he is also not.
But the Globe’s in the tank, you can’t believe anything they say. Add sugar to the corn flakes!
Doctors, bah. With a garden hose and cheap whiskey, you can give yourself a colonic that will keep you shipshape for years. Desperately alone, true, but healthy.
Can’t load Trib piece. Does Trib hate Wonkette?
I’m eating my cornflakes right out of the tank…
Hopey the Distributor will distribute his own hopeflakes next tuesday.
Here in Florida we grow extra-stoopid in vast groves!
Godless Liberal: As You Like It:
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
North Korea is off the terror nation list? Wh-whaaaaa? Whatever happened to the Axis of Evil? Doesn’t anyone stay together anymore??
When I taste Heath Bar Shake, I taste liquid freedom. I taste the realized dreams of Washington and Jefferson, I taste a nation where people can live with such reckless liberty that they can consume enough calories to feed a Bangladeshi family for a week… through a straw.
National Review’s Jim Geharty finally uncovers the missing link: elusive proof of Democratic voter fraud! (But not really)
I much prefer Sweet ‘n Low to Stupid on my breakfast cereal. But then again, I also eat that faggoty elitist shredded wheat.
“Remember all that fretting about if Angry Radical Firebrand Michelle Obama would ruin her husband’s campaign? She has done just fine, of course, and people love her.”
That’s because Barack Hussein’s baby mama has kept her terrorist fist bumps to a minimum.
Once Kim Jong tha Illmatic kicks the bucket, will anything change? North Koreans have grown up in a society where they’re used to dropping to their knees and grovelling in submission to their head of state for every minor event in their daily lives, how can those people wake up the day after he croaks and say “Fuck yeah, time for some motherfuckin’ capitalism and democracy, let’s buy some Burger King Loaded Steakhouse Burgers and truck nutz”
I read that as “Barack Obama might still lose the erection, but it would be really hard”
oh god
ah the french, pallin’ around with turrists again.
Serolf Divad: He should have checked the phone book for Duran Duran before publishing. At least he offered a sheepish Mea Culpa.
http://www.moviewavs.com/php/sounds/?id=gog&media=WAVS&type=Movies&movie=Team_America_World_Police"e=breakingmyballs.txt&file=breakingmyballs.wav
mattbolt: I’m sure McCain keeps Viagra on hand
Uh oh, the NYT is totally on to Michelle: ““So many precious little babies like that one!” she said after noticing one infant near the stage. “Just completely delicious!””
BABY EATER!
Unfortunately, in this economic downturn stupid is one of the few resources still making it directly to consumers at ludicrously low prices.
Sarah, if there’s anything Americans have a lot extra of, it’s stupid. I’m expecting historic levels of it on Tuesday.
Scene: The White House
Michelle to Laura: “You know what’s the difference between you and me? I make this place look good.”
Cheap gas –> four more years!!! Me want more buttery, sugary, salty stupid!
North Korea has made progress! Not so long ago, they would have kidnapped the French neurosurgeon and had him teach a NK worker bee French and brain surgery while simultaneously directing a musical starring Kim Jong Il and his many child brides.
Stop eating period is more like it. The problem in this country is that eating well costs more than eating poorly. Much more. I’ll bet my grocery bill is 2 to 3 times a normal one, for the same number of meals. First, try not eating corn-filled, starch-based food as most of your intake. You’re left with vegetables, fruits, meats and beans - all of which cost a shit-load more than canned/boxed/shrinkwrapped food. America is getting fat because America can’t afford to not get fat.
mattbolt: !!! i always have a problem getting the heath bar chunks through the straw!!!
bearbait: It’s funny ’cause it’s true!
Why does Michelle Obama want to eat our children?
kthxbeth: “So many precious little babies like that one!” she said after noticing one infant near the stage. “Just completely delicious!”
The good part is, she could have ripped the baby’s head off and sucked out it’s innards and ‘THAT ONE!!” would probably still break 300 EV’s.
After next Tuesday all real Americans will say, “I take my coffee black, like my First Ladies.”
he could be called “the comeback kid” if he had a plan for a comeback, and in any way resembled a kid.
Monkey: but the cheap, sugar filled stuff has zero fiber, so it doesn’t fill you up and you need to eat more (you think), so while it’s cheaper, you have people eating donuts for breakfast then a frappuchino for snack, then burger and fries for lunch and needing a snack an hour after that. If they’d throw some grains and fruit and veggies in there, they could cut back a lot on the quantity. You are right, though, in that our society pushes cheap, corn syrup filled crap at people at ridiculously low prices instead of figuring out how to get healthy food to people at better prices (community gardens, anyone?). Oh, and rent Super Size Me if you have not. He notes how you are always close to a McDonald’s, wherever you are in this country.
Monkey: Have you heard of the food guy that wants to tear up the White House lawns and replace them with Victory Gardens?
What an awesome example that would be!
He reckons there are 11 acres there that could feed a lot of DC citizens.
DemmeFatale: Oooooh, that I love. What a great idea.
Monkey: I hear ya. I’ve complained mightily that it’s much more expensive (in the short run) to eat right/eat healthy.
But as Doglessliberal says, it’s cheaper in the long run because you’re talking about multiple meals coming out of the staples… or at least that’s what happens in our house.
DemmeFatale: I would love the White House Victory Gardens to happen. After all, the White House is (at least in theory, if not in fact) owned by all citizens of the U.S.
While there’s no question that Americans need to put the sugar-frosted food down (I’m looking at you, high fructose corn syrup - yeah, the Corn Council can run their ads showing anti-HFCS people to be rude assholes, but we really don’t need that much processed sugar in our food), I’m intrigued by the over-diagnosis aspect of this. I guess it seems weird to see something like diabetes - which one would think of as an objectively diagnosable disease (as opposed to controversies surrounding mental health disorders and medication) - having the tipping point on treatment pushed back, where what might have gotten a, “You’re borderline, here’s what you can do to avoid it,” is now getting, “Eh, close enough, here’s your Januvia.” Is it just a matter of the demand for quicker-fixes, or is there more going on with pharmaceutical company kickbacks than any of us wants to think?