GREAT BIG DEPRESSION  4:09 pm October 27, 2008

Poor Black Obama Voters So Poor They Have To Work For McCain Campaign

by Ken Layne

Karate man bruises on the insideHere is the saddest thing: Times of London reporter Tom Baldwin was surprised to find two young black ladies canvassing for John McCain in Des Moines. He asks if they’re volunteers. Nope, they are temp workers from an employment agency. And one of them sheepishly admits to being an Obama supporter, while the other one warns they could lose their $10-an-hour part-time job for talking to the press. And they’re both so ashamed.

“This is embarrassing. We’re doing this because we have to live. At least none of our friends can see us. We’re from Chicago — like Obama.”

Republicans have had to hire mercenaries for this ground war. And, if the experience outside the McCain headquarters was any guide, they may not all be shooting in the same direction.

This is the state of America’s wrecked economy: The very people Palin’s klan followers hate most — black communists from Chicago — are forced to take McCain’s dirty money just so they can survive.

Republicans hire mercenaries for ground war against Barack Obama [Times of London]


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rambone October 27, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Well, if ACORN’s experience is any example, Walnuts! better not expect Mickey Mouse to actually vote for him.

Serolf Divad October 27, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I’m trying to come up with a joke but… Jesus fuck, is this what America has come to?

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend October 27, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Is this the enthusiasm gap we’ve heard so much about?

Texan Bulldoggette October 27, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I think the surprise is that there were black people walking around in IA.

Tra October 27, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Well, that’s going to make for a convincing pitch.

“So why should I vote for McCain?”
“I HATE MYSELF.” (Shoves campaign literature and clipboard into person’s hands, runs off shaking with sobs.)

SuperRounder October 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Where are they getting the cash to bankroll this? Did they sell Piper’s Louie bag?

ronaldpagan October 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm

We should all donate $50 to the McCain/Palin Compliance Fund so he can pay his black female shills $12 an hour.

Tra October 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm

I love the little vignette at the end. “Why, that’s, uh, catnip,” says McCain person, discreetly moving to block reporter’s view, and easing door closed with his foot. “Yes, uh, catnip. For the kitties.”

Itsjustme October 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm

What next, we get a McCain flyer with our Watchtower?

magic titty October 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Fantastic reference to Trading Places, Ken.
But this does fit the bill as ‘job creation’.

What do we think their campaign pitch is:

(shrug) Vote for McCain??

dilhavarti October 27, 2008 at 4:19 pm

It’s the epitomy of Republican volunteerism: only volunteer for money!

SelfDeprecatingFed October 27, 2008 at 4:19 pm

$10 an hour to pretend to like McWalnuts? Where do I sign?!?!?!

AngryBlakGuy October 27, 2008 at 4:19 pm

…I heard one of the women was Bridget McCain.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

This cements McCain’s campaign as a metaphor for the Iraq Invasion.

Not enough volunteers and had to hire mercs, not enough boots on the ground, under estimating your opponent, unrealistic and lousy planning/judgement, and lousy choices in secondary leadership.

Gopherit October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

This is only slightly worse than having to strip for money. I don’t blame these poor women given the economy. At least they’ll be getting their emancipation in 8 days.

And hahahahaha! McCain can’t get any non-crazy in prison volunteers!

Monkey October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Whoring themselves out to the enemy. That is just so so shameful. Why does Barack Obama hate those women so much?

CollegeStudent October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Think how many Obama supporters the RNC could have paid with $150,000…

The Cold Sea October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Hopefully they sabotage the McCain campaign.

Monkey October 27, 2008 at 4:21 pm

[re=151018]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Two young black ladies”

SuperRounder October 27, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Ken, it ain’t cool bein’ no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.

freakishlystrong October 27, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Ahhh Republicans, just when you think you can’t hate them anymore, they go and surprise you…

Deepthroat October 27, 2008 at 4:24 pm

I have to go to the local McCain/Palin headquarters of fail after work for my Halloween stuff and I feel dirty already. I can’t imagine pretending for more than five minutes that i actually support WALNUTS!

Min October 27, 2008 at 4:26 pm

See, this is the problem with hired help. You just can’t convince them drink the kool-aid for $10 bucks an hour.

Electric Zen October 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm

In the meantime, Palin has hired her own black army of canvassers, who are doing push-polls suggesting that McCain sired an African-American daughter out of wedlock. And the circle is complete.

Deepthroat October 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Oh yeah, any ideas on how i should play it?

AngryBlakGuy October 27, 2008 at 4:31 pm

[re=151032]Monkey[/re]: Bridget McCain

longjohnson October 27, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Sometimes you have to work for the man, before you can work for that one.

NoWireHangers October 27, 2008 at 4:32 pm

[re=151056]Deepthroat[/re]: Extra crazy with a dash of racist. Try not to blink and be sure to stare until the awkwardness is palpable. Feel free to drop stories about things you’ve learned about libruls on the internets. Don’t comb hair.

4tehlulz October 27, 2008 at 4:33 pm

If ACORN had only agreed to McCain’s town hall meetings, this would never have happened.

The White Crow October 27, 2008 at 4:35 pm

Trading Places 2009 – Starring John McCain as Dan Aykroyd, Barack Obama as Eddie Murphy and Sarah Palin as Jamie Lee Curtis.

problemwithcaring October 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm

If only these women had the common sense to obtain a degree from hair school or Marionella’s Beauty College, they could be making 900 bucks an hours spray tanning and highlighting the pretty Gov. Dumb minorities.

chaste everywhere October 27, 2008 at 4:38 pm

ManchuCandidate: And black folk way over-represented in the line of fire.

EricSaeger October 27, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Ha ha. Next thing you know some crazy mushroom-human mushmouth honky Benedict Arnoldstein is going to start tonguing the dogshit off Obama’s holey shoes.

Never mind, Lieberman’s on the case already.

Deepthroat October 27, 2008 at 4:48 pm

NoWireHangers: I was going to mention that i couldn’t stay and chat because i had to get home in time to make sure dinner was ready when my husband and 7 children got home. or else…

senator rosewater October 27, 2008 at 4:50 pm

This isn’t anything new.

Its amazing what you’ll do when you’re hungry; when its getting cold and you need to buy a coat.

chaste everywhere October 27, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Wait, WHY were “two young black ladies” dressed up like Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy?

grendel October 27, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Sheepeater October 27, 2008 at 5:00 pm

So they will get fired if they talk to the press. Now no names were given in the article, so I’m thinking it will take real detective work and fully stretch the resources of the McCain Iowa staff to find these 2 Des Moines working, team-leading, Chicago origin black female temp staff. And fire ‘em.

Hardly a ‘deep throat’ secure codename.

NoWireHangers October 27, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Wait a minute. The WALNUTS! McMaverick Campaign pays people to canvass? Why that sounds like the kind of behavior that fringe black terrorist community organizing nut groups do. So if these girls are voting for Obama but are paid by WALNUTS! does that mean that WALNUTS! is guilty by association and is creating a national voter fraud scandal by paling around with terrorists?!

mrtrailsafety October 27, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Its either $10/hr or all the used clothing you could possibly not want. What’s not to like?

Dreamer October 27, 2008 at 5:20 pm

Now they’re gonna hunt for those two black ladies. They better collect their blood money and run back to Chicago.

SisterTruth October 27, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Maybe these African American ladies went undercover as part of the skinhead plot to kill Obama – kind of like the movie “White Chicks” only they dressed in drag as “White Dicks” – and that’s why that dastardly plan got thwarted!!!! Tadum!! Mystery solved!!

NYNYNY October 27, 2008 at 5:37 pm

What’s so wonderful is knowing that they are probably not giving the job their all. McCain really has put together the campaign of the century.

lampadadog October 27, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Obviously stealth operatives. Alien Canvassing Operatives Raid Neighborhoods.

sezme October 27, 2008 at 7:14 pm

[re=151186]NoWireHangers[/re]: Oh, if only they didn’t need the money to live… they could do so much damage. Maybe carve a backwards O on their cheeks and say it was white Obama supporters in the wrong side of Des Moines that did it. Yes I know, a backwards O.

sarcasticusername October 27, 2008 at 7:22 pm

no way this could turn out badly…jesus, walnuts’ campaign is even worse than i thought.

WithMySFValues October 27, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Poor black women in this country have come NOWHERE in 40 years. Yes, I saw Secret Life of Bees, and I’m sure black women would rather get slapped upside the head by a white trash peach-picker and walk half way across south carolina than ring a single doorbell for McCain. Gimme my wonkitini double because this story is just SAD.

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2008 at 2:12 am

[re=150997]Tra[/re]: I was gonna say, if I was really hungry, I would step up for doing a really shitty job canvassing for some candidate I hated at $10/hour. I’ve made a lot less than that; but I’m old. And I would do a really shitty job.

Czn939 October 28, 2008 at 4:27 am

This just goes to prove that Mav has sabotaged his own campaign by blowing money on clothes and makeup they could have bought at Target, and then using what little money they have left over to enlist their own political opponents to work for them. When is the RNC going to get it? The people they hire are not loyal to the party; they are loyal to the party’s money. And come election day, they’ll vote for the other guy.

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