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Karate man bruises on the insideHere is the saddest thing: Times of London reporter Tom Baldwin was surprised to find two young black ladies canvassing for John McCain in Des Moines. He asks if they’re volunteers. Nope, they are temp workers from an employment agency. And one of them sheepishly admits to being an Obama supporter, while the other one warns they could lose their $10-an-hour part-time job for talking to the press. And they’re both so ashamed.

“This is embarrassing. We’re doing this because we have to live. At least none of our friends can see us. We’re from Chicago — like Obama.”

Republicans have had to hire mercenaries for this ground war. And, if the experience outside the McCain headquarters was any guide, they may not all be shooting in the same direction.

This is the state of America’s wrecked economy: The very people Palin’s klan followers hate most — black communists from Chicago — are forced to take McCain’s dirty money just so they can survive.

Republicans hire mercenaries for ground war against Barack Obama [Times of London]

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49 COMMENTS

  1. Well, that’s going to make for a convincing pitch.

    “So why should I vote for McCain?”
    “I HATE MYSELF.” (Shoves campaign literature and clipboard into person’s hands, runs off shaking with sobs.)

  2. I love the little vignette at the end. “Why, that’s, uh, catnip,” says McCain person, discreetly moving to block reporter’s view, and easing door closed with his foot. “Yes, uh, catnip. For the kitties.”

  3. Fantastic reference to Trading Places, Ken.
    But this does fit the bill as ‘job creation’.

    What do we think their campaign pitch is:

    (shrug) Vote for McCain??

  4. This cements McCain’s campaign as a metaphor for the Iraq Invasion.

    Not enough volunteers and had to hire mercs, not enough boots on the ground, under estimating your opponent, unrealistic and lousy planning/judgement, and lousy choices in secondary leadership.

  5. This is only slightly worse than having to strip for money. I don’t blame these poor women given the economy. At least they’ll be getting their emancipation in 8 days.

    And hahahahaha! McCain can’t get any non-crazy in prison volunteers!

  6. I have to go to the local McCain/Palin headquarters of fail after work for my Halloween stuff and I feel dirty already. I can’t imagine pretending for more than five minutes that i actually support WALNUTS!

  7. In the meantime, Palin has hired her own black army of canvassers, who are doing push-polls suggesting that McCain sired an African-American daughter out of wedlock. And the circle is complete.

  8. [re=151056]Deepthroat[/re]: Extra crazy with a dash of racist. Try not to blink and be sure to stare until the awkwardness is palpable. Feel free to drop stories about things you’ve learned about libruls on the internets. Don’t comb hair.

  9. If only these women had the common sense to obtain a degree from hair school or Marionella’s Beauty College, they could be making 900 bucks an hours spray tanning and highlighting the pretty Gov. Dumb minorities.

  10. Ha ha. Next thing you know some crazy mushroom-human mushmouth honky Benedict Arnoldstein is going to start tonguing the dogshit off Obama’s holey shoes.

    Never mind, Lieberman’s on the case already.

  11. NoWireHangers: I was going to mention that i couldn’t stay and chat because i had to get home in time to make sure dinner was ready when my husband and 7 children got home. or else…

  12. So they will get fired if they talk to the press. Now no names were given in the article, so I’m thinking it will take real detective work and fully stretch the resources of the McCain Iowa staff to find these 2 Des Moines working, team-leading, Chicago origin black female temp staff. And fire ’em.

    Hardly a ‘deep throat’ secure codename.

  13. Wait a minute. The WALNUTS! McMaverick Campaign pays people to canvass? Why that sounds like the kind of behavior that fringe black terrorist community organizing nut groups do. So if these girls are voting for Obama but are paid by WALNUTS! does that mean that WALNUTS! is guilty by association and is creating a national voter fraud scandal by paling around with terrorists?!

  14. Maybe these African American ladies went undercover as part of the skinhead plot to kill Obama – kind of like the movie “White Chicks” only they dressed in drag as “White Dicks” – and that’s why that dastardly plan got thwarted!!!! Tadum!! Mystery solved!!

  15. What’s so wonderful is knowing that they are probably not giving the job their all. McCain really has put together the campaign of the century.

  16. [re=151186]NoWireHangers[/re]: Oh, if only they didn’t need the money to live… they could do so much damage. Maybe carve a backwards O on their cheeks and say it was white Obama supporters in the wrong side of Des Moines that did it. Yes I know, a backwards O.

  17. Poor black women in this country have come NOWHERE in 40 years. Yes, I saw Secret Life of Bees, and I’m sure black women would rather get slapped upside the head by a white trash peach-picker and walk half way across south carolina than ring a single doorbell for McCain. Gimme my wonkitini double because this story is just SAD.

  18. [re=150997]Tra[/re]: I was gonna say, if I was really hungry, I would step up for doing a really shitty job canvassing for some candidate I hated at $10/hour. I’ve made a lot less than that; but I’m old. And I would do a really shitty job.

  19. This just goes to prove that Mav has sabotaged his own campaign by blowing money on clothes and makeup they could have bought at Target, and then using what little money they have left over to enlist their own political opponents to work for them. When is the RNC going to get it? The people they hire are not loyal to the party; they are loyal to the party’s money. And come election day, they’ll vote for the other guy.

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