great big depression

Poor Black Obama Voters So Poor They Have To Work For McCain Campaign

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Karate man bruises on the insideHere is the saddest thing: Times of London reporter Tom Baldwin was surprised to find two young black ladies canvassing for John McCain in Des Moines. He asks if they’re volunteers. Nope, they are temp workers from an employment agency. And one of them sheepishly admits to being an Obama supporter, while the other one warns they could lose their $10-an-hour part-time job for talking to the press. And they’re both so ashamed.

“This is embarrassing. We’re doing this because we have to live. At least none of our friends can see us. We’re from Chicago — like Obama.”

Republicans have had to hire mercenaries for this ground war. And, if the experience outside the McCain headquarters was any guide, they may not all be shooting in the same direction.

This is the state of America’s wrecked economy: The very people Palin’s klan followers hate most — black communists from Chicago — are forced to take McCain’s dirty money just so they can survive.

Republicans hire mercenaries for ground war against Barack Obama [Times of London]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • rambone

    Well, if ACORN’s experience is any example, Walnuts! better not expect Mickey Mouse to actually vote for him.

  • Serolf Divad

    I’m trying to come up with a joke but… Jesus fuck, is this what America has come to?

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    Is this the enthusiasm gap we’ve heard so much about?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I think the surprise is that there were black people walking around in IA.

  • Tra

    Well, that’s going to make for a convincing pitch.

    “So why should I vote for McCain?”
    “I HATE MYSELF.” (Shoves campaign literature and clipboard into person’s hands, runs off shaking with sobs.)

  • SuperRounder

    Where are they getting the cash to bankroll this? Did they sell Piper’s Louie bag?

  • ronaldpagan

    We should all donate $50 to the McCain/Palin Compliance Fund so he can pay his black female shills $12 an hour.

  • Tra

    I love the little vignette at the end. “Why, that’s, uh, catnip,” says McCain person, discreetly moving to block reporter’s view, and easing door closed with his foot. “Yes, uh, catnip. For the kitties.”

  • Itsjustme

    What next, we get a McCain flyer with our Watchtower?

  • magic titty

    Fantastic reference to Trading Places, Ken.
    But this does fit the bill as ‘job creation’.

    What do we think their campaign pitch is:

    (shrug) Vote for McCain??

  • dilhavarti

    It’s the epitomy of Republican volunteerism: only volunteer for money!

  • SelfDeprecatingFed

    $10 an hour to pretend to like McWalnuts? Where do I sign?!?!?!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I heard one of the women was Bridget McCain.

  • ManchuCandidate

    This cements McCain’s campaign as a metaphor for the Iraq Invasion.

    Not enough volunteers and had to hire mercs, not enough boots on the ground, under estimating your opponent, unrealistic and lousy planning/judgement, and lousy choices in secondary leadership.

  • Gopherit

    This is only slightly worse than having to strip for money. I don’t blame these poor women given the economy. At least they’ll be getting their emancipation in 8 days.

    And hahahahaha! McCain can’t get any non-crazy in prison volunteers!

  • Monkey

    Whoring themselves out to the enemy. That is just so so shameful. Why does Barack Obama hate those women so much?

  • CollegeStudent

    Think how many Obama supporters the RNC could have paid with $150,000…

  • The Cold Sea

    Hopefully they sabotage the McCain campaign.

  • Monkey

    [re=151018]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Two young black ladies”

  • freakishlystrong

    Ahhh Republicans, just when you think you can’t hate them anymore, they go and surprise you…

  • SuperRounder

    Ken, it ain’t cool bein’ no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.

  • Deepthroat

    I have to go to the local McCain/Palin headquarters of fail after work for my Halloween stuff and I feel dirty already. I can’t imagine pretending for more than five minutes that i actually support WALNUTS!

  • Min

    See, this is the problem with hired help. You just can’t convince them drink the kool-aid for $10 bucks an hour.

  • Electric Zen

    In the meantime, Palin has hired her own black army of canvassers, who are doing push-polls suggesting that McCain sired an African-American daughter out of wedlock. And the circle is complete.

  • Deepthroat

    Oh yeah, any ideas on how i should play it?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=151032]Monkey[/re]: Bridget McCain

  • longjohnson

    Sometimes you have to work for the man, before you can work for that one.

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=151056]Deepthroat[/re]: Extra crazy with a dash of racist. Try not to blink and be sure to stare until the awkwardness is palpable. Feel free to drop stories about things you’ve learned about libruls on the internets. Don’t comb hair.

  • 4tehlulz

    If ACORN had only agreed to McCain’s town hall meetings, this would never have happened.

  • The White Crow

    Trading Places 2009 – Starring John McCain as Dan Aykroyd, Barack Obama as Eddie Murphy and Sarah Palin as Jamie Lee Curtis.

  • problemwithcaring

    If only these women had the common sense to obtain a degree from hair school or Marionella’s Beauty College, they could be making 900 bucks an hours spray tanning and highlighting the pretty Gov. Dumb minorities.

  • chaste everywhere

    ManchuCandidate: And black folk way over-represented in the line of fire.

  • EricSaeger

    Ha ha. Next thing you know some crazy mushroom-human mushmouth honky Benedict Arnoldstein is going to start tonguing the dogshit off Obama’s holey shoes.

    Never mind, Lieberman’s on the case already.

  • Deepthroat

    NoWireHangers: I was going to mention that i couldn’t stay and chat because i had to get home in time to make sure dinner was ready when my husband and 7 children got home. or else…

  • senator rosewater

    This isn’t anything new.

    Its amazing what you’ll do when you’re hungry; when its getting cold and you need to buy a coat.

  • chaste everywhere

    Wait, WHY were “two young black ladies” dressed up like Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy?

  • grendel
  • Sheepeater

    So they will get fired if they talk to the press. Now no names were given in the article, so I’m thinking it will take real detective work and fully stretch the resources of the McCain Iowa staff to find these 2 Des Moines working, team-leading, Chicago origin black female temp staff. And fire ’em.

    Hardly a ‘deep throat’ secure codename.

  • NoWireHangers

    Wait a minute. The WALNUTS! McMaverick Campaign pays people to canvass? Why that sounds like the kind of behavior that fringe black terrorist community organizing nut groups do. So if these girls are voting for Obama but are paid by WALNUTS! does that mean that WALNUTS! is guilty by association and is creating a national voter fraud scandal by paling around with terrorists?!

  • mrtrailsafety

    Its either $10/hr or all the used clothing you could possibly not want. What’s not to like?

  • Dreamer

    Now they’re gonna hunt for those two black ladies. They better collect their blood money and run back to Chicago.

  • SisterTruth

    Maybe these African American ladies went undercover as part of the skinhead plot to kill Obama – kind of like the movie “White Chicks” only they dressed in drag as “White Dicks” – and that’s why that dastardly plan got thwarted!!!! Tadum!! Mystery solved!!


    What’s so wonderful is knowing that they are probably not giving the job their all. McCain really has put together the campaign of the century.

  • lampadadog

    Obviously stealth operatives. Alien Canvassing Operatives Raid Neighborhoods.

  • sezme

    [re=151186]NoWireHangers[/re]: Oh, if only they didn’t need the money to live… they could do so much damage. Maybe carve a backwards O on their cheeks and say it was white Obama supporters in the wrong side of Des Moines that did it. Yes I know, a backwards O.

  • sarcasticusername

    no way this could turn out badly…jesus, walnuts’ campaign is even worse than i thought.

  • WithMySFValues

    Poor black women in this country have come NOWHERE in 40 years. Yes, I saw Secret Life of Bees, and I’m sure black women would rather get slapped upside the head by a white trash peach-picker and walk half way across south carolina than ring a single doorbell for McCain. Gimme my wonkitini double because this story is just SAD.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=150997]Tra[/re]: I was gonna say, if I was really hungry, I would step up for doing a really shitty job canvassing for some candidate I hated at $10/hour. I’ve made a lot less than that; but I’m old. And I would do a really shitty job.

  • Czn939

    This just goes to prove that Mav has sabotaged his own campaign by blowing money on clothes and makeup they could have bought at Target, and then using what little money they have left over to enlist their own political opponents to work for them. When is the RNC going to get it? The people they hire are not loyal to the party; they are loyal to the party’s money. And come election day, they’ll vote for the other guy.