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JUNK BONDS

Targeted McCain Ad Targeted Somewhat Poorly

Hmm… our secret money robot models are indicating high counterparty risk in this potential transaction? Oh what the hell, we’ll throw a cool $2 trillion at this McCain victory fund and get one of them there credit dee-fault swaps from, uh, McDonald’s. [FiveThirtyEight]


1:34 PM on Mon October 27 2008
By Jim Newell
1714 Views

  1. V572625694 says at 1:38 pm, October 27th, 2008

    I didn’t think anything would make me regret Adblock Plus.

  2. Haha… It’s really a bet, not an investment… and at 30-1 odds, why not?

  3. Deepthroat says at 1:40 pm, October 27th, 2008

    WOAH… wha happon to teh ghost in the box ebay story???

  4. thejames says at 1:40 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Schadenfreude much? O hell yes me too.

  5. Gopherit says at 1:41 pm, October 27th, 2008

    So is this a Xeno’s Paradox, kind of thing, or will Hopey ever have 100% victory listed at fivethirtyeight before the election?

    And why isn’t McCain advertising here?

  6. Serolf Divad says at 1:41 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Yeah but with those odds your $50.00 would pay off about $864.00! Whoooo! Roll those dice, baby! Roll ‘em!

  7. slappypaddy says at 1:44 pm, October 27th, 2008

    538’s projection map bears a remarkable similarity to how the country split during the Civil War. Pretty colors, too, if somewhat basic.

  8. swarm of bees says at 1:44 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Invest in FAIL!!!!!!!

  9. hockeymom says at 1:44 pm, October 27th, 2008

    math is for elitists.

  10. ManchuCandidate says at 1:44 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Oh Walnuts. US America’s decided to put it all on Black and let it ride.

  11. SayItWithWookies says at 1:45 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Sometimes you buy low and sell high. Other times you buy low and write it off when it hits zero.

  12. StrangelyBrown says at 1:45 pm, October 27th, 2008

    That’s nothing. If you look on Drudge right now you’ll see a “Calculate Your Obama Tax Cut” ad (complete with the “Support The DrudgeReport; Visit Our Advertisers” fine print) floating over the headline screaming “2001 OBAMA: TRAGEDY THAT ‘REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH’ NOT PURSUED BY SUPREME COURT”.

  13. Viva la Cynthia says at 1:48 pm, October 27th, 2008

    I was hoping no one would point that out–this is my secret giggle every time I check fivethirtyeight.com, and now maybe they’ll remove the ads. Ok, so they probably won’t remove the ads, because this just reinforces their mantra that they’ve “got them right where [they] want them.”

  14. golliwog says at 1:49 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Investing 50 bucks is like a new pair of jeans for the hobo.

  15. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  16. Worlds End says at 1:51 pm, October 27th, 2008

    hahahahhahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahasahahahahah

  17. NewSpence says at 1:52 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Not to piss on teh humor, but the ad as probably following you across a big ad network like ad.com, based on a cookie you got while visiting johnmccain.com or NRO or Fox or another of your filthy gay porn sites.

  18. Cape Clod says at 1:53 pm, October 27th, 2008

    It’s kinda like investing in Poland in August of 1939, isn’t it?

  19. Senator McCain, invest in cosmetic dentistry, you’re scaring the children.

  20. Gopherit says at 1:54 pm, October 27th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: See, I thought there were a few more things he and Palin needed to buy for themselves before the Gravy Train went off its track.

  21. JeffGoldblum says at 1:54 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Barack Obama is going to raise everyone’s taxes by 500% in order to fund a bigger tank.

  22. Gopherit says at 1:54 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Serolf Divad: In this case, when you hear,”Daddy needs a new pair of shoes,” it just might be true.

  23. TommySez says at 1:54 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Make sure you click on the ad, then don’t donate. Hee.

  24. Viva la Cynthia: Yea, I’ve been laughing at this every time I check the site - especially when the features are posted basically mocking the McCain ground campaign.

  25. NewSpence: If so, I’ve been tagged as a McCain-Palin target for months when I visit 538.

  26. JeffGoldblum: Bwah!

  27. I received in the mail a solicitation of a contribution from the state Republican committee. The letter began, “I’m like many of you. I watch Fox News and listen to Rush, but I wanted to do more.” It included a postage-prepaid return envelope, for my contribution. I stuffed it as full of crap as I could and asked them please to send more envelopes. No reply, bastards.

  28. friendlynerd says at 2:11 pm, October 27th, 2008

    What’s with “compliance fund?”

    Is this money to compel me to OBEY?

  29. CivicHoliday says at 2:14 pm, October 27th, 2008

    It’s like a long shot on a horserace, yes? I bet high on low odds, and if my scragly horse eeks out a win, I get the big bucks? No? All I get is more war and restricted reproductive rights? Well fuck that.

  30. natoslug says at 2:15 pm, October 27th, 2008

    TommySez: I clicked on it and tried to donate, but I got an error when I entered -.01 as the donation amount. The bastards don’t seem to realize I should be paid to visit their crappy campaign site.

  31. Wonks Adventure says at 2:17 pm, October 27th, 2008
  32. Hold up. Does the ad, under the names, say “compliance fund”? Looks like the IRS and FEC are onto their little borrowed-clothing scam and they need some extra lawyering-up. Seriously, if Joe the Plumber tried some bullshit like buying a new F-450 limited edition Dreadnought Destroyer for his wife and then telling the Feds, um, she actually plans to give it charity after I’ve done driving it across the country, so don’t tax me, they would lock him up in one quick-ass jiffy.

  33. ReelectTilden says at 2:23 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Yeah, I’ve been seeing that for a while, too. Do you think anyone clicks on it for any reason except to fuck with them?

  34. ReelectTilden says at 2:25 pm, October 27th, 2008

    totoro: Compliance funds are the only funds they can take according to the FEC, because they accepted public funding.

  35. Neon Trotsky says at 2:26 pm, October 27th, 2008

    I clicked the link to 538 and one of the ads that popped up was:
    TELL SENATOR OBAMA
    IT’S NOT 2004

    SPEAK OUT

    Paid for by McCain-Palin 2008″

    Um, what? Is this an attack on the “3rd Bush term” angle? Or comparing Obama to Kerry? Or simply implying that he is an anachronistic socialist from the distant past of 2004 waiting to be swept into the ash heap of history?

  36. sarcasticusername says at 2:33 pm, October 27th, 2008

    so he’s encouraging shitty investments, isn’t that kind of his whole economic policy anyway?

  37. Mista Eko says at 2:35 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Be sure to leverage yourself out 500:1 first!

  38. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:39 pm, October 27th, 2008

    …and I thought giving a trillion dollars to Wall St. was a waste of cash.

  39. Gopherit says at 2:49 pm, October 27th, 2008
  40. How can one redistribute “wealth” if there is none? Even the Arab stock markets are Rockin’ the Casbah.

    Tickle down kids, trickle down.

  41. wallythepug says at 2:50 pm, October 27th, 2008
  42. Gopherit says at 2:50 pm, October 27th, 2008

    And grampy may just lose arizona, too: http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/election_20082/2008_presidential_election/arizona/election_2008_arizona_presidential_election

    There ’s a poll on fivethirtyeight that’s even closer. This would give me the biggest schadenfreugasm ever!

  43. keepinitrealyo says at 3:04 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Yeah, like there’s someplace BETTER for him to advertise.

  44. JoeFannyPack says at 3:07 pm, October 27th, 2008

    That’s kind of like having an ad for Sarah Palin on the MENSA site. ba-dum-bum

  45. Carrie_Okie says at 3:08 pm, October 27th, 2008

    hockeymom: Karl has THE numbers. I’m pretty sure he keystered them.

  46. astroprofeddie says at 3:10 pm, October 27th, 2008

    Pie Charts are in the tank for Obama

  47. OhYeahAlright says at 3:26 pm, October 27th, 2008

    I’d actually noticed that a few times. I just assumed they saw Mr. Silver on The Colbert Report, and they still haven’t figured out the show is a satire, so they decided to buy adspace on this good Republican’s web thingy.

  48. Roll Fish says at 3:27 pm, October 27th, 2008

    “Compliance Fund” doesn’t sound very exciting.

  49. TommySez: this is a great point - bankrupt the campaign by clicking on as many ads as you see. Any suggestions on where to find said ads that actually cost the campaign a lot.

    If we make them bankrupt, that will once again speak to GOP ‘fiscal responsibility’, well, probably 25 cents at a time. It won’t reach $700b for bailout + $700b for war + stupid refund checks + numerous other things I’m too drunk to think about

  50. Serolf Divad: He’s pricing me in! Mathematically, I’d be a fool NOT to donate.

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