Wonkette death crime operative “Courtney” sends us this disturbing photo of what Obama and the blacks have done to an innocent pumpkin who wandered into their ghetto. We have a feeling this is happening to thousands of pumpkins across the nation. Oh but of course the liberal MSM gotcha media would never criticize “The One” for this, heaven forbid.

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  1. [re=149567]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Nah, I stayed awake all night skulking in my shrubbery, waiting for the Kluxers to steal my newest Obama sign.

  2. OOO, I just found this from the pumpkin’s twitter account:

    — 10:41 I’m a pumpkin

    — 10:56 Yup, still a pumpkin

    — 11:00 Woah, slow down, what do you think you’re doing with that knife?


    — 11:05 Boy, am I gonna have a great story for my blog …

  3. I posted a fake letter from jail from Ashley on my blog ( and was treated to a lovely comment from someone named “Ash’s Friend.” I will share it with all you Ash Haters:

    “As a friend of Ashley’s, you disgust me. Please stop trying to hurt her more. Can’t you see she needs support? She’s obviously in a bad place. What if it were a friend/family member of yours?”

    So sad now for The Ash.

  4. [re=149584]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That’s exactly what I did. I had two stolen until I annointed the third with dog poop AND cable-tied it onto the frame, dangnabbit. The next morning, it had been grabbed and stretched a bit, but it was still there. They never tried again.

  5. Right before midnight, that pumpkin was a glittering chariot pulled by 12 white stallions that was going to deliver McCain to the front door of the White House, but the Fairy godmother got pissed off about his lack of support for Prop 8…

  6. [re=149583]facehead[/re]: Personally, I still suspect . . .

    :::Wait for it:::

    . . . SISTER TRUTH!!!

    You know how “those womyns” are with knives!

  7. [re=149594]RadioFreeBabylon[/re]: Forward that to Sister Truth, would you? I know she cares, and has the time to write poor, misguided Ms. Todd a /i lengthy /i letter (or twenty).

  8. Having actually been sober enough to wield a knife today, I did carve up 2 pumpkins today. I did try to make the backwards-B but it came out to be a deformed ear. I admire the artists skill in keeping the inner B-holes intact.

    My only concilation is that I did do a couple Blingee like tears which this guy forgot. If he can do one with a blackeye, all is forgiven

  9. Speaking of carving backwards letters in pumpkin heads, the always-wonderful blog “Reality Based Community” ( has a headline “College Republicans Fingered in Ashley Todd Affair.” I thought I had gone to Wonkette for a minute, but they don’t seem to allow _any_ comments, much less the brilliant snark that I come here for. Good headlines, though. (Get it?)

  10. [re=149851]facehead[/re]: [from the link] ” “Twitter is already used by some members to post and/or support extremist ideologies and perspectives,” the report said”

    Like how BoA doesn’t have enough ATMs in Pittsburgh?

  11. HA! My boyfriend made this last night (yes — THIS ONE) and has been giggling all day now that it’s been shared within the wonkette world of wonders. please please keep us laughing through next tues so the tears of joy will blend more readily into a big liberal hug. We don’t care if they hate our gay socialist asses, we’re going to help them pay their bills anyways. Or maybe Sarah will build an ark for all the real americans and guide it to alaska’s shores. fresh barrels of oil, wild game, pregnant teens, and free bibles for everyone. it could be like an experiment. in survival.

  12. courtney is a friend he sent it to this morning who sent it here – lotsa fun to open up wonkette and see it with that hilarious headline. and yeah, he’s a keeper alright. we make things with our HANDS.

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