Which Oval Office Hell Demon Will You Be For Halloween?

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John McCain has been asking everyone “Who is the REAL Barack Obama?” and, ha, we’ve finally smoked him out; here is the Real Barack Obama, a bird-faced hellcop space lord clutching a dead kitty, staring at the camera, trying to rape John F. Kennedy. He’s with, uh, Jim Webb there in the dunce cap. You’ve been warned. Anyway, what will you readers be for that yearly celebration of evil, Halloween? Let’s have a contest! Whoever sends us the funniest “political” costume photo by this time next week will win a special prize… to be determined later? Probably a pack of smokes or a few used dildos, don’t hold your breath. [Gawker]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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44 comments

  1. Gopherit

    [re=149416]Serolf Divad[/re]: I’m gonna be really pissed if Obama catches a bullet. We need 5 or 6 NFL lineman on his SS detail, stat.

  2. magic titty

    [re=149405]Gopherit[/re]: Ominous tones from a doomed old man. Also, Why are they quoting only Reuters and Zogby, famous for GOP leaning polls. Newsweek has Obama up by 13. And he’s ahead 5-6 points in the early voting.

    The GOP will have to cheat to win.

    Anyway, I’m going to the Halloween party as a bottle of Wild Turkey.

  3. Gopherit

    [re=149431]magic titty[/re]: If this kind of stuff keeps up, I think we’re all going to our Halloween parties in a bottle of Wild Turkey.

  4. Toomush Infermashun

    Wait, just for the record, prior to the inundation of photos – Gu911iani in Chorus Line and Jesse Ventura in full Wrestlemania outfit are off limits, right?…

  5. PoliTacky

    I’m going as a ‘sexy’ Joe Lieberman… it’s basically an old ‘California Raisins’ costume, a speedo and a Yamulke.

  6. facehead

    I plan on being an extremely annoying female minority on the internet; my costume consists of an entire pantsuit made out of vacuum tubes, and whenever anyone mentions anything about race, I crap all over everyone nearby, and then hand out long pamphlets of outrage, which no one will read.

  7. Borat

    [re=149480]Lazy Media[/re]: yes, the Ashley Todd outfit is perfect and doesn’t require much extra spending in today’s battered economy:
    (1) Sweatshirt from no-name school, probably one Caribou Barbie went to
    (2) eyeliner*
    (3) fingernail clippers (for scratching)
    (4) twitter account

    *not required if you are willing to let a friend slap you around a bit (or are good at getting into bar fights)

  8. wallythepug

    I went to a Halloween party last night and there were four Sarah Pahlins. The best one had a baby (doll) in a snuggly in front and a gun hanging over her shoulder in back.

    I had suspected there would be multiple Sarahs, so I went as Holly Golightly instead.

  9. Terry

    [re=149416]Serolf Divad[/re]:

    Let’s wish the Obama family happier lives than JFK’s family had/has.

  10. OffTheRecord

    One of my friends is going to be McCainenstein. It shall be awesome. I am mad that I didn’t think of it first. And also that I am a girl so I wouldn’t have made a very good McCainenstein.

  11. Servo

    I was thinking of dressing as “Ronald McCainOld”. A right wingnut clown with fish-belly white skin, a cancerous growth, urine-yellow teeth, a bible in one hand, and an automatic rifle slung on my shoulder. Problem is that I just don’t have that runty physique.

  12. Darthhippy

    We all know that on December 12th 2008 the supreme court is going to rule on precedent. Obama won the debates, most likely the popular vote and the electoral college. But since Mickey Mouse voted 75 times at every polling place, John Mccain won.

  13. PoliTacky

    [re=149489]magic titty[/re]: If I had gone with the “2 Yamulkes fashioned into a bra” joke, would I be anti-Semitic and sexist?

    Maybe I should go with my backup idea: I’ll carry an oversized bible with a picture of Joseph McCarthy plastered on it, construct a giant talking asshole costume and go as Michele Bachmann.

  14. Crab1

    This year is too easy. I will be Trig Palin. I’ll just wear a onesie and drink myself retarded. Git R’ Done? Got r’ done!

  15. Deepthroat

    [re=149442]Serolf Divad[/re]: Thanks, i was looking for evidence of Zogby’s in-teh-tankness for John McCain all morning (7 minutes) and failed miserably.

  16. Deepthroat

    Also… I’m going to be heading to my local McCain/Palin compound to stock up on my costume needs and I’m trying to figure out exactly how i’m going to play it. I think they just might be desperate enough at this point to start giving away campaign crap for free, but who knows…

    So, after i get the goods in hand, do i laugh manically and just yell “SUCKERS!” as I run out with a big ‘ol Obama bumper sticker on my ass, or do i play the elitist snob and politely inform them that, “actually, this if just for my Halloween costume. I figured that with Obama’s 150 trillion dollars for the next week, poor Johnny boy could use a few bucks.”

    Either way, I can’t wait to shame all of you with the awesome awesomeness of my costume piktuers!

  17. Ophelia Butts

    OMG – I had that same witch costume! It was called “Superwitch,” and I lovedlovedloved it because it looked scary.

    Er, I’m old.

    And I think I may go as “barefoot and pregnant,” with a Palin campaign button. I will have rollers in my hair, be wearing WAY too much makeup, and carrying a bottle of tequila. Later in the evening I may speak in tongues.

  18. 3-legged Bloodhound

    Maybe it’s because I’m on my period, but that picture of JFK made me cry. From Kennedy’s Camelot to Palin’s cameltoe, we haven’t come a long way, baby.

  19. sadderbutnowiser

    [re=149431]magic titty[/re]: “The GOP will have to cheat to win.” Oh, phew, thanks, THAT makes me feel better. So not.

  20. themightysea

    [re=149806]3-legged Bloodhound[/re]: Palin can not have cameltoe, because she only wears leg-skimming skirts — in a private ‘fuck you’ to Hillary, Palin flaunts her shapely ankles.

    What do you think Palin’s hair feels like? I really want to pat the top of her head, and see if the hairdo is as hollow as the skull. It’s one reason I’m curious about the Palin Parade that every halloween party will have — I betcha it’ll take them lots of time and chemicals to get the look just right. Not 150,000$ worth, but still.

  21. palmerdawg

    John McNutty nutz and Sarah “I shoot moose” Palin have been wearing their mask year round, no wonder the GOP’s looking for their candidate.

  22. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Erm, if the bag of used dildos is used, I think I’d rather hold my breath around them, you betcha.

  23. sanantonerose

    [re=149788]Ophelia Butts[/re]: Not so old. I had that costume, too! But it was a hand-me-down…

  24. Fact_Chucker

    [re=149414]Worlds End[/re]: I can’t think of less reassuring words than “The Secret Service is on it”. I mean, they were outwitted by the likes of Sirhan Sirhan and John Hinckley, who wouldn’t exactly outscore Moriarty on the SAT. That’s always assuming they aren’t being controlled by J. Edgar Hoover’s brain in a jar (and a lovely frock).

    What I want is a bunch of black, trigger happy, ex-boxer, ex-Special Forces, Hell’s Angels who have converted to the Nation of Islam and are doing coke to keep them paranoid.

    It’s a big country. There have got to be a couple of them out there.

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