Surrender!Not that we’re going to start believing everything Fox News reports/decides, but you know that Ashley Todd cut-nut ghost-negro racist fantasy that thrilled America for a single night? According to the executive editor of Fox News, America’s White/Poor Family News Channel, “Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.”

But there is still time to take it all back, as Fox News executive vice president John Moody wrote his gloomy prognosis this morning, when gullible people (Drudge, wingnuts, etc.) still believed Ashley Todd’s pathetic bullshit:

If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee.

If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.

There we go, then. Ashley Todd, an official representative of the Republican Party and a campaign worker in the critical battleground state of Pennsylvania, made a massive game-changing gamble for her candidate, John McCain — it was a perfect Willie Horton moment, but it was really a Tawana Brawley/Morton Downey Jr. moment, and it finished the life of this miserable racist Texas twat, Ashley Todd, who hoped to end the winning campaign of Barack Obama before he became America’s first (half) black president.

And instead of keeping a sane distance from this fishy fucking story until the facts were established, the McCain campaign jumped on this, with both McCain and Sarah Palin personally calling Ashley Todd and/or her family. They bought in.

Moment of Truth [Fox News]

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  • El Bombastico

    They both owe a call to that poor maligned janitor. He’s the real victim here.

  • NoWireHangers

    Now can we brand an F on WALNUTS! fat cheek for FAIL?

  • FreshCliches

    It’s not over yet; they’ve still got the Saul Alinsky/Satan card.

  • johnnypantalones


    Seriously though, the fallout from this will be like chocolate Christmas heroin orgasms for all.

  • GreatLakesNation

    The Tank is officially full.

  • Blue Line

    [re=147274]NoWireHangers[/re]: Yes, but it has to be backwards.

  • thejames
  • dougbob

    Okay. fox news can go off the air and take a well-deserved break until nov 5th.

  • CollegeStudent

    there’s nothing left to say

  • NoWireHangers

    The hypocrisy of the wingnuts is what kills me. The utter raging hypocrisy. They’re always screaming about Obama supporters being nuts who play the race card. Only nuts are see are wing nuts. Only race cards I see are played by wing nuts. Only screams of “kill him” are screamed by wing nuts. Fuck you, morans. Please leave the country when you lose in 2 weeks.

  • NewSpence

    Ashley Todd is Sarah Palin’s Down Syndrome baby.

  • Sussemilch

    Meanwhile, Barack has the television off, and is sharing stories with his ailing grandmother.

    There’s never been a bigger contrast in American politics.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Guess we’ll be hearing an apology from Sean Assity tonight. Hahahahahaha, oh, that hurt.

  • twoeightnine
  • Hairy Reed

    [re=147274]NoWireHangers[/re]: Brand? No. Just scratch.

  • FMA

    [re=147291]NoWireHangers[/re]: And if they need any help leaving the country, I know of this guy who owns a bunch of land in South America somewhere.

  • echoman2000

    cut nut city limits.

  • HeyHey

    I’m glad that when I picked out an Obama yard sign, I chose “Texans for Obama.” In the back of my mind was the fear that another Texan would do something shameful, maybe even newsworthy. I never could have imagined someone doing something this sick and stupid though. I’m naive enough to hope that McCain and Palin called to ask “really?” Regardless, they both need to spend a hell of a lot of time condemning this now. The rest of their lives would be a good start.

  • Hairy Reed

    [re=147281]GreatLakesNation[/re]: So… does that mean Biden can’t dunk any more journalists into it?

  • dano

    I just realized who Ashley Todd looks like. It’s Ann, George Michael’s girlfriend from “Arrested Development”!

  • CrabtreesBludgeon

    Shit, I’m WAY too giddy right now. The election is still 11 days away and I’m imagining the victory parties. And I’m in San Francisco, so you know there’s gonna be some crazy ass shit going down around here. This can’t be good – must wipe. taste of victory. out of mouth! Quick – someone talk me down!!

  • JeffGoldblum

    If the whole of the Liberal Jew-Run Media don’t pick up this story and run with it all the way to November 4th I’m going to be sad.

  • chaste everywhere

    Here’s what Moody really said, and I quote:

    “If Obama’s baby mama story about Palin dumping a dead moose on her lawn with ‘niger lover’ written in lipstick on its butt turns out to be a hoax, the race-issue is forever tainted by bear-baiting and the Phillies–who are SO in the tank for Thomas the Tank Engine–will carry Tampa Bay.”

    Can’t you homos ever get anything right?

  • BarthexDeRosa

    The ‘B’ stands for “MORON”.

  • problemwithcaring

    Its hilarious how the wingnuts try to reconcile this is with the whole Tawana Bradley thing..(Foxx is STILL getting mileage out of that) The sputtering deathrattles of American racists are fucking hilarious.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    That’s the night that the lights went out in Penna. Hahahahahaha!

  • american mutt

    I so need to get laid on Nov 4th otherwise this will have all been for nothing.

  • SixThirty

    [re=147305]Hairy Reed[/re]: Might I point out that one can scratch an “M” (for Maverick!) in the mirror without fear that it will be backwards

  • Liverspots

    I look forward to Nate Silver now raising Obama’s win percentage to 100000%.

  • magic titty

    He just *loves* getting letterz from his fans.

  • JeffGoldblum

    [re=147315]dano[/re]: Ann-hog’s coming? Well, alright.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=147325]american mutt[/re]: Do they allow conjugal visits in Penn prisons? If they do, Ashley Todd may have some time to spare.

  • Rodney Badger

    Before anyone starts to feel sorry for her, remember that her fake mugger is black. She is a race baiting bigot who deserves whatever scorn and mockery you lot are capable of heaping upon her.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=147291]NoWireHangers[/re]: I hear that Australia is their country of choice. A fitting payback for giving us Paul Hogan and Men at Work.

  • Dave J.

    [re=147315]dano[/re]: “Her?”

  • oompapa

    Fox News headline: McCain Worker ‘Confesses’ She Made Up Attack Story

    Why is the confession in quotes? Did the police waterboard Ashley Todd?

  • JeffGoldblum

    John McCain must be dropping C-bombs like it’s his last day on earth.

  • dano

    Drudge got totally Rick-Rolled on this one.

  • Tra

    If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.

    Yes. It was not in any way, shape, or form the fault of the network that spent the entire campaign screaming “terrorist,” called Michelle Obama a “baby mama,” and asked whether Colin Powell dancing meant he was getting ready to support Obama. Not even partially.

    It was all the fault of a 20-year-old nutjob. That is all.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    I’m tuning in to watch the weeping and gnashing of teeth on Brit Hume’s “Fox All-Star Roundtable” tonight, you betcha. I can hardly wait to tune in on Nov 5th to see Fred Barnes off himself on live TV.

  • twoeightnine

    Best possible punishment? One day in jail, November 4th.

  • JeffGoldblum

    [re=147338]Rodney Badger[/re]: People are starting to feel sorry for her? Who? Show yourselves, newbs.

  • andmeilikethesauce

    Why couldn’t she have just scratched an “O”? And, of course, punched herself in the face? Well, partial credit, anyway.

  • american mutt

    [re=147338]Rodney Badger[/re]: Wait wait. Who’s feeling sorry for her?

  • spencer

    [re=147338]Rodney Badger[/re]: Not only that, I’m fairly certain what she did is a pretty clear form of Terrorism. She was using the incident to achieve political goals. She didn’t use violence, but unless she has no clue about the history of race relations in America, a retaliatory attack would clearly be her fault.

  • Rodney Badger

    [re=147316]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: The party will be in Oakland.

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=147316]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: Diebold machines and the American high school dropout rate. There.

  • PopeyesPipe

    This is by far the best Reichstag fire/public rape fantasy of this cycle. God speed Ashley. God speed.

  • RadioFreeBabylon

    Hannity’s soon to be heard spin:

    It is just sad how the leftwingliberal Obama crazed media is being so cruel to this poor girl who clearly needs help. We wish her well. In the meantime…WrightAyersUnrepentantFlagerFirstTimeBeenProudBitterClingingtoGunsAndReligionSocialistCommunist!

  • Dr. Zoidberg

    \[re=147316]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: Ok, ok! Uh…uh…Obama is a half-breed Muslim terrorist who is gay for Ayers, and everyone knows this but the liberal media won’t discuss it because they are IN THE TANK for gay Muslim terrorists and Walnuts has the secret facts that prove this and he has had them for FIVE AND A HALF years but won’t disclose the facts until Election Day and then he and CaribouBarbie will be swept into office on a tide of commie hippie liberal blood!

    *whew* How’s that?

  • elcapitan

    Ashley Todd = Steve Bartman.


  • Fivetree

    I am just waiting for some pyschotic tramp in Michele Bachman’s Minnesota district to carve a backwards “E” into her cheek (for Elwyn) and say that she was mugged by a wood nymph. I forsee self inflicted facial carvings all across the land.

    I can’t wait for Keith Olbermann’s special comments here. I am not sure what segments fits: Worst Person in the World or Best Dumb Crimminal – because the backwards “B” is the funniest/stupidest thing ever and a clear giveaway that the dumb twat stood in front of a mirror and did it herself.

  • Rodney Badger

    [re=147359]american mutt[/re]: [re=147355]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Nobody yet, but be on guard for it. As someone pointed out in another thread, if this was 50 years ago, black dudes would be swinging from trees.

  • Mara47

    Gosh, he (Moody @ Faux) hasn’t posted that apology yet. I guess it was the “pedant-baiting devisive” that let him think he could squirm away from the promise he made (through his stoolie) that if I fixed “Pittsburg” for him, he’d fix his “Ashley Todd Story = Who Is Barack Obama?” screed.

    So now, I’ll fix “Pittsburg,” all right. I have a friend at KDKA. Film (or whatever the hell they use nowadays) at eleven.

    Hey. Don’t pfonk with a Scorpio who’s had this much to drink….

  • Godless Liberal

    Can we instead tattoo a giant H “for Hussein” on her other cheek, and by that I mean her ass?

  • Godless Liberal

    [re=147396]Godless Liberal[/re]: The fuck did I mix up “” with ()?

  • Borat

    Does that mean that someone spoke to their enemies? For shame!

  • elcapitan

    [re=147402]Godless Liberal[/re]: It makes more sense like that. Literally.

  • Godot

    Our editor apparently likes to insert extra D’s into peoples names. It should be “Ashley Todd” and “Tawana Brawley”, not “Ashley Dodd” and “Tawana Bradley”. Get it right, Ken Layde.

  • BaghdadBounce

    why isn’t there a wikipedia page on Ashley Todd yet?

  • coolcatdaddy

    [re=147386]Rodney Badger[/re]: And, if this were fifty or sixty years ago, the nutz at Palin’s orgasm rallies would be wearing brownshirts.

  • Sarah Palin (

    I’ve got a three o’clock appointment with my stylist! YOU BETCHA!!

  • Mark Narwhalberg

    [re=147315]dano[/re]: The fact that she made it up was as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.

  • Giant Robot

    [re=147281]GreatLakesNation[/re]: Let’s save one seat in the tank for Joe the Plumber. I bet he comes out for Obama by noon Saturday.

  • CrabtreesBludgeon

    [re=147365]problemwithcaring[/re]: [re=147374]Dr. Zoidberg[/re]: Phew. Thanks guys. Diebold machines combined with the thought of WALNUTS! & Caribou Barbie being swept into office pretty much burst my happy Hopey bubble. Not so much the HS drop-out rate though – education is for commie elitist libruls. (Sorry pwc!)

  • PrairiePossum

    So the Republican nuts who whined about Obama waiving the white flag of surrender in Iraq are now waiving the white flag of surrender. Oh, I love karma.

  • thatonegirlsays

    Can there be a Children’s Treasury of Ridiculous Republican Stunts-Election 2008 Edition? I think this would fit in quite nicely.

  • Crow T. Robot

    While I don’t think this is the end for them (Not like they will quit now), I do think this pushes us from 97% chance to win to 98%.

    But mostly, to say that seeing conservatives exposed for the race-baiting, lying, class/religious war fuck-ups they are fills me with glee…

    & I mean glee–i want to fucking dance. i’m buying a great big goddamn pizza smothered & stuffed with cheese & pepparoni & drinking myself sick tonight. Glorious day–kaloo kalay.

  • monty


  • problemwithcaring

    [re=147429]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: I meant the dropout rate stuff only in the context of not being able to reaed the Diebold machines. Yea, other than that – VOUCHERS and Oil Rigs for ALL!

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=147380]Fivetree[/re]: The ‘B’ factor may even qualify it for…mmmmBushed.

  • wonk_the_heck

    cool, i just saved a bundle. i don’t need a big-hair wig, expensive makeup
    and designer clothes for halloween anymore. i was gonna go as Palin but
    now i can get some frump clothes at Value Village and go as Ashley Todd.
    a lump of coal should do my eye makeup. with my size 14 sensible lady-pumps
    from the Hadassah Bazaar i should be able to pull it off, if i shave my beard.

    best of all? no real mutilation will be required.

  • monty

    [re=147448]monty[/re]: red bull is your friend

  • Voyou Charmant

    [re=147281]GreatLakesNation[/re]: Dont worry, the Obama camp can afford more tanks.

  • Worlds End

    those fox comment are fucking insane check this one out.

    Why do you Obama supporters continue to dodge the truth?

    Just because the Natural Born Citizen story has NOT been told by your censored stations doesn’t make it a SMEAR. TRUTH IS NEVER A SMEAR.

    Unreported truth is a cover-up. This is what your Democrat owned news media (MSM) is doing.

  • The Decider

    I’d give my next paycheck to see how warm her welcome is when she goes back to work with the College Republicans.

  • Dr. Zoidberg

    [re=147448]monty[/re]: I’m terribly, terribly sorry. It’s my elitist upbringing, you see. I went to school, and, to my shame, graduated high school.

  • Giant Robot

    In other headlines today, Palin’s makeup artist is the highest paid staffer on the campaign and John McCain’s brother calls 911 and says “Fuck you” to the dispatcher.

  • CorkPopper

    Posting again: the following comment at Freep just gave me a double chocolate heroin orgasm: “now it will be harder for us to run Rev. Wright ads because everyone will scream ‘oh look, the nasty Republicans are appealing to racism again.'”

    I hope these right wing race baiting fucktards take a long, long time to ponder just how much karma is a bitch.

  • LittlePinky82

    Now that’s waving the white flag of surrender.

  • Datsun510

    [re=147281]GreatLakesNation[/re]: Let’s start a second tank.

  • The Church of Realism

    I personally like the Ashley Dodd typo at the top. One of Dodd’s kids trying to get even with him or something, that would be funny.

  • Datsun510

    [re=147330]Liverspots[/re]: FiveThirtyEight! Home of Nate’s famous “Solid Blue Pie!”

  • TeddyS

    Ashley sends more comedy material to SNL. Writer Seth Myers should ask for a reduction in pay because this is getting so easy.

  • monty

    [re=147468]Dr. Zoidberg[/re]: ok ‘pology excepted, now go carve a big E in your left asscheek for me.

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=147461]Worlds End[/re]: In light of all, this maybe we just have to accept that a certain amount of “teh crazy” will always exist in the US and there’s nothing we can do about it. I seriously doubt there is ever any hope of setting some of those Fox nuts straight. That said, mandatory euthanasia?

  • tiger

    HAW HAW…it’s funny cuz McNasty and Sarah CALLED her…they couldn’t figure out what some cop in PA could. Volumes, my dears, speaks volumes…

  • kudzu

    Well, shit, if Fox News says it’s over, I–by golly–believe it (I feel so dirty).

  • natoslug

    As a left-wing nutjob, let me be the first to say “Thank you, Ashley Todd. You are a fine example of Republican morals and virtue. Sure, you may be a racist twit and a truly horrible artist, but your incompetence inspires me to believe there is no fucking way John McCain will get elected with people like you helping him. So a million starbursts to you, Ashley.” Please, no more hating on this heroic woman.

  • tiger

    I can already see Amy Poehler about to give birth and STILL do Ashley…god i hope

  • american mutt

    [re=147474]CorkPopper[/re]: Karma is work of the devil for those fundies. You need to say Satan is a bitch and then they’ll understand.

  • OzoneTom

    [re=147386]Rodney Badger[/re]: “That One” whistled at me!

  • Decoy

    Someone Make Us Up The ‘B’

    All your Bases are belong to us.

  • Vewol Mevemont

    Comments have been disabled at FoxNews. They did the same thing yesterday when the hoax first came out. Wait a second, no they didn’t. Surely a coincidence.

  • GreatLakesNation



  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    If only she had carved a “W” in her cheek, and claimed that it was Michelle Obama that had attacked her, crying out “Die whitey die!” then people would have believed her.

    However, this whole incident has left the GOP floundering, as their next move was to have Sarah Palin carve an “O” into her forehead, and claim that she too had been attacked by a black man at the ATM at Saks.

  • CrabtreesBludgeon

    [re=147429]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Shiiiit. Yep, glee has now been officially replaced with usual Dem depression, suspicion & fear. Thanks!!

  • Jedd

    This election has finally succeeded in breaking down the last barriers in the division between truth and lies.

    They have become one for the Republicans.

  • Beef Supreme

    What you libtards don’t realize is that this “cut nut” is actually a liberal socialist Noobama supporter who is posing as a right wing nut who pretended to be mugged and mutilated by an Obama supporter in order to trick Fox News into claiming the election is over due to race baiting.

    Once all this information comes out, which it will, soon, presumably in a Free Republic forum, then Walnuts will take a 50 point and launch victory missiles into Iran.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=147328]SixThirty[/re]: Yes, but someone as bright as Todd attempting to carve an “M” into her cheek would have naturally ended up with a “W.”

  • x111e7thst

    [re=147474]CorkPopper[/re]: I found that, with practice, I could inject the contents of the syringe into my vein just at the onset of orgasm but how to work in the double chocolate? I confess myself baffled.

  • blader



    Hannity will find a negro/immigrant/college professor/lib-based conspiracy at the root of this episode…that some darky sympathizer put her up to it.

  • Crazybroad

    Dontcha y’all know that Sarah Palin will find some way to spin this, and blame it all on Obama. Seriously, she’s been completely delusional about everything else…You betcha! ;)

    [re=147627]Beef Supreme[/re]: They’re so friggin’ desperate over at the McCain camp these days, the GOP pulling something like that would not surprise me in the slightest, ridiculous as it seems.

  • Name Pun Phenh

    She’ll never get into a black fraternity now.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=147655]One Yield Regular[/re]: crap. I meant “Dodd.”

  • Crab1

    [re=147294]NewSpence[/re]: we are all sarah palin’s down syndrome baby.

  • S.Luggo

    The opera isn’t over until the crazy lady cries wolf.

  • Fact_Chucker

    [re=147456]wonk_the_heck[/re]: Post pictures. Naked ones. And don’t shave the beard too close (I think you know what I mean).

  • josereyes.theroof

    I didn’t realize that it was over… ’til it was too late, too late. But if I ever needed you, would you be there? — Ashley Todd, borrowing from The Streets, to FoxNews

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