National Review Ladies Having BFF Breakup!!!

Kathleen Parker, a famous conservative person at the National Review who TRAITOROUSLY has some doubts about Sarah Palin, has received tens of thousands of wingnut e-mails from NR readers advising her to be retroactively aborted. And after Parker's latest syndicated column, which appears on National Review Online today, she will probably get an additional 450 million e-mails telling her to simplydie. One of these will probably come from NRO editor Kathryn Jean Lopez, who has posted a catty response to Parker's column on the Corner in which she promises to kill Parker after the election. So let's explore Parker's column about how John McCain picked Sarah Palin just so he could fuck her, and the resulting denouement.

In a column called "Tragic Flaw: John McCain, man," Parker opens by stating that both her husband and a random 75-year-old man with whom she was drinking wine (HMM?) have confessed that they want to fuck the shit out of Sarah Palin.

This sentiment has been echoed on NRO itself, most famously by the creep who runs the magazine.

Parker adds a new "wrinkle" to this trend among pathetic conservative males by extrapolating that John McCain, too, wants to hit that, and how better to woo a lady than offering her the vice presidency and $150,000 worth of fancy threads?

As [Robert] Draper tells it, McCain took Palin to his favorite coffee-drinking spot down by a creek and a sycamore tree. They talked for more than an hour, and, as Napoleon whispered to Josephine, ‘Voila’ 

One does not have to be a psychoanalyst to reckon that McCain was smitten. By no means am I suggesting anything untoward between McCain and his running mate. Palin is a governor, after all. She does have an executive resume, if a thin one. And she's a natural politician who connects with people.

But there can be no denying that McCain's selection of her over others far more qualified — and his mind-boggling lack of attention to details that matter — suggests other factors at work. His judgment may have been clouded by ... what?

... Clouded by the fact that he had had a RAGING BONER FOR OVER AN HOUR by that creek and had to quick offer her the job so that he could run inside, to the bathroom.

Ha ha, so gross, but DO NOT DENY that John McCain, somewhere in the back or front of his mind -- whichever part still works -- envisions a scenario in which he takes a couple of his precious Ambien and then goes after Palin like a zombie, arms stretched out to her chest, barking, "let's see 'em, HENNNGHHH?"

Kathleen Parker's column is so awesome and totally makes up for that insanely racist thing she wrote earlier this year.

Some ironically powerful idiot, however, has not found it so awesome:

Monica?! [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Because I know some of you are understandably and sensibly wondering WHY?: We're running our roster of syndicated columns through the election. Period. So that's why we published one today that is embarrassing and outrageous.

10/24 08: 41 AM

Aww! She's gonna fire Kathleen Parker. AND THEY USED TO BE SUCH BEST FRIENDS!!! Remember that delightful repartee they had on the morning of Barack Obama's Berlin speech? THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEN!

Ha ha, conservative ladies.

 Tragic Flaw [National Review]

 Monica?! [The Corner]