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So many Blingees to be made!KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA]

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353 COMMENTS

  1. Ha!! This is great, although I really wish it happened later in the day so Palin could bring this asshat up 50 times at her rally, talking about what a tragedy it is.

  2. *ahem* “If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.”

    So let it be written, so let it be done.

  3. And so ends Ashley Todd’s moment in the sun. Let us reflect.

    Oooooooohh chiiiiild, things are gonna get easy-uuuurrrrrr

    Okay, now let’s laugh.

  4. The story you linked doesn’t say she made it up or confessed. I need to verify that this story is a total hoax before I start making fun of her IRL.

  5. Who could have foreseen this, it was all so credible. The backwards B, the black eye doctors called fake, the fact that her story continually changed, her remembering nothing except for all those details that made it politically motivated, and how nothing she said matched security footage or eyewitness accounts. It’s just so amazing and plausible and I can’t believe she was a liar.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  6. this is still not going to dent the wingnuts maddening denial of basic reality. i’m sure the story will have some kind of racist half-life in on-line commentary for weeks to come.

  7. Now she personally has DOOMED the McCain campaign for good! As libtards blamed Nader in 2000, let Republicans blame Ashley “B” Todd n 2008…

  8. Yee-haw! Who needs drink and drugs on a day like today. Ashley’s been a bad girl, time for her to bend over daddy’s knee for her spanking. It’ll be one she won’t soon forget.

  9. [re=146968]WonderWomyn[/re]: It’s the breaking news at the top of the page. They haven’t done a full writeup yet because they are too busy laughing at Poor Ashley Todd.

  10. If she doen’t flag her *ss back to Texass in a hurry she’s won’t have to make up a story about being smacked up in Pittsburgh. Unfortunately for her, she might be spending some time in a Pittsburgh pokey explaining herself to some actual muggers. Lets hope they do thorough pat-downs at the PPD lock-up. The great irony here is that she’ll likely be in jail on election day instead of the polls. And, the irony, in line with the nice little Reconstruction compromise allowing Southern states to disenfranchise blacks by arresting them, she cant vote anymore.

  11. God bless the librul media! I mean, Wonkette!

    Wow, how pathetic is this poor thing. I kinda wish, too, that this story had had longer play, so the McFailin campaign and FauxNews would have had more time to bring it up.

    Ah, well.

  12. Free Republic: “Tawana Brawley II. I blame Drudge for over-reporting this and under-reporting verified attacks on McCain volunteers like the one in New York City recently.”

    LOLZ! Bwaaaa! Truly an epic fail.

  13. Today is like Christmas. I wake up to multiple stories about the internal Republican meltdown, and now I have this little treat to savor. Mmmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet!

  14. it’s been fun sharing this moment with all of you. i have no doubt all of us will now receive 50 fake anthrax letters from the rove/bachmann joint office of anti-american terror hoaxes

  15. Photoshoppers pleeeze get to work on Gov. Palin/Ashley Todd version of the pix replete with red Michael Jackson leather vest and big gaudy caribou broach!!!!1!

  16. No I’m totally going to go around branding McCain staffers with backwards Bs, and nobody will believe them when they call Drudge to complain.

  17. Lies, its all lies
    Everything they say
    Lies, they keep telling lies
    We hear them everyday
    Do you think that we don’t know
    That you’re up to no good
    When you’re tellin’ lies

  18. I wrote to Moody at Fox News and got a reply. Heres what I wrote: “Sir, with all due respect to your position (and I wish you respected it more), I think your comments about that pitiful Ashley Todd were unncessarily inflammatory and devisive. What does the alleged incident in Pittsburg have to do with how much voters do or don’t know about Barack Obama? How can you possibly justify your reasoning for such a statement without admitting to race-baiting? I hope you and Fox News will make your apology for this assault on reason as prominent as you’ve made the assault itself.”

    Whomever answers his mail wrote back: “As soon as you apologize for misspelling Pittsburgh.”

    So I did. And now, I’m holding him to his promise. Everybody hold your breath now.

  19. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost. Yet I feel nothing but contempt.

    She is a, intentionally or otherwise, a race-baiting liar and deserves to be prosecuted for these spurious claims.

  20. I think it’s believable, yea, and Karl Rove promised to take her to the RNC halo ween parta. He’s gonna stick his head up her ass and wear her like a hat.

  21. I can’t find it, but someone a few weeks ago posted a youtube of Porky pig laughing his ass off. I think that would appropriate at this time.
    I sent another nice “follow-up” email to racist and KKK member (eVP of foxnews, same shit) John Moody.

  22. [re=147044]ManchuCandidate[/re]: There may be some twisted revenge seekers out there. I kinda got it for Michelle Bachman. I’d have to stop at the face mutilation bit. but make ’em say, “Ooooh, socialized medicine! Socialized medicine!” Sweet.

  23. [re=147007]Larry Fine[/re]: You know what else could happen?
    Being invaded by space apes who will anally rape the entire human population.
    The possibility of that happening is only slightly more than WALNUTS! pulling a election day victory out of his ass.

  24. I am just shocked at this tern of events. I personally believed Willie Horton was the culprit. This just shows how wrong I am about any thing to do with race.

  25. Her next rape won’t be imaginary. Wait until the Black Mamba’s of Cell Block B (as in Black Rapist) get a hold of her. Hold her down and strap it on. Good luck Ashole Todd.

  26. McAncient and Bible Spice want to know if they can have their egging-on-the-wingnuts sympathetic phone calls back.

    Actually, this election has done some good. The right wing bloggers are so sick and tired of covering for McCain everytime he reverses field that they’re starting to approach all of this nonsense with extreme caution. Michelle Malkin was one of the first to say ATodd didn’t pass the smell test.

  27. [re=147034]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Odd as it may sound, I’d opt for for the pasty fraud-frau, as she has demonstrated her willingness to do basically anything, and that scores high marks with me.

  28. So how many “colleges” did this “college student” go to? I’m guessing its a few less than Caribou Barbie, I mean even she be more educational than that.

  29. The Stormfront folks had a field day with this. Most of them still believe it’s true. They are even asking members to spread the word. God Bless America!

  30. i’m shocked i tell you, absolutely shocked. i thought for sure this poor girl’s story of negro terrorization was true. shocking. now what is fox news going to talk about all day?

  31. Munchausen Syndrome by Ashley

    What-a-fake, what-a-fake, Ashley’s scam.
    Make up her as face as fast as she can.
    Punch it and paint it and mark it with “B”
    And post it on Drudge Report as quick as can be.

  32. So, according to that Fox dude, John McCain’s campaign is officially over now, and it’s all this chickie’s fault. THANK GOD. I’m going to send her a thank you card.

  33. [re=146938]JeffGoldblum[/re]: You know, this is off topic but I really enjoyed that TV series that you had briefly with Ben Vereen back in the 70s. It didn’t last long but you were very funny on it.

  34. [re=146965]OffTheRecord[/re]: Oh, I’ll bet some bitters will be trying to make us all believe the poor girl was intimidated by Big Black Pleessmuns and confessed before being forced to watch them tear up her pretty posters real slow-like.

    Not that I’m gloating here, mind you. I feel sorry for mentally ill people, but this one? Not so much.

  35. Does Ashley know that 50 years ago they would have gone a lynchin’ on account of her lies? Stupid bitch. You stupid deranged bitch.

    Meanwhile Drudge still has the original story up. Only when you click through do you see that there are “discrepancies” in her story.

    This better blow up on a national scale. Drudge kicked this shit in to the national media stratosphere and I want to shit to hit the fan on a national level. Mother fuckers all of them. When will this damned election be over? You’ve LOST WALNUTS! Give it up.

  36. Good. Now that everyone has figured out what occurred, the wingnuts can get on with the difficult work of figuring out what really happened. After all, the “B” was backwards – what could the large black man have meant when he carve the first initial of his islamoverlord on her? What don’t the libruls want to know the answers to such troubling questions? Who gains from this cover-up?

  37. Filing a false report is a 2nd degree misdemeanor and carries a penalty of up to two years in prison. But she’ll probably get much less than that. A fine, some community service, maybe a short stint in jail. She will carry the shame and humiliation with her forever, though.

  38. To all my fellow Wonketteers who are sad that this BESTEST of all possible story arcs appears to have played itself out: Relax. I’ll bet some bitters will soon be trying to make us all believe the poor girl was intimidated by Big Blue Pleessemuns and confessed before being forced to watch them tear up her pretty posters, real slow-like.

    Not that I’m gloating here, mind you. I feel sorry for mentally ill people, but this one? Not so much.

  39. [re=147101]elcapitan[/re]: It’s kind of amazing how close this “15 minutes” thing is becoming to the actual amount of time involved. This girl whent from WTF to Hero to Suspect to Antihero to Criminal in about twelve hours.

  40. [re=147064]facehead[/re]: OHHHHH!! That’s good! That’s very, very good. And – that gives me three years or so to sharpen up the snark (jeebus knows I need it) Woohoo!!

  41. But it is nice to speculate that if she does have a scar from this epic fail incident it will at least be fitting, because the “B”itch is indeed “backwards.”

  42. [re=147115]stolichnayaaa[/re]: It really is amazing. I was telling my friend about it over IM: “The McCain Boston Red Sox girl has admitted it was FAKE” and he said, “Who?” It was impossible to get him up to speed on the whole thing because it happened so fast.

  43. Man, she is so dumb.

    If she was really smart she would’ve had one of her dude-party douchebag friends paint himself up in blackface for the security cameras.

    Well, better luck next time.

  44. When my caretakers read me this story, I told them, “Unplug the iron lung!” (I use one recreationally, trying to empathize with those with special needs).

    I then drove over to the local Republican headquarters and shaved a big letter D (for Douche) on all their heads. Well, I would have, but the place is boarded up and there were some 6’4″ white rednecks milling about….

  45. Don’t you see you libtards! This is a ploy! McCain is too smart for you. He’s got you RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS TO. Just wait.

    Bradley Effect. October Surprise. My friends lie to pollsters! You’ll see!

    Can’t wait to see you on suicide watch on Nov 5th!

    /asshattery

    (Actually, seriously, let’s buy this woman a cake or something–I feel like i’m ten, i’m Richy Rich, and it’s my birthday)

  46. Poor little Ashley must not have any friends at all to tell about her little fraudulent plans, or one of them might have told her what a stupid, stupid, stupid plan she had.

    Donuts & bacon, yo. Donuts & bacon.

  47. you know, ya’ can’t make this crap up. oh, wait, they did.
    special thanks to fox for conceding the election. which one of mccain’s advisors okayed that?

  48. So, another cruder Rovian storyline eats dust:

    1) look what happened to me
    2) they did this to me
    3) maybe this didn’t happen to me
    4) no it didn’t happen to me
    5) you made me behave this way
    6) you all made me behave this way because you think differently than me
    7) why are you all treating me so unjustly?

  49. Unlike yesterday when Drudge had the story up, no big flashing siren retraction. I will personally shit in his fedora if I ever see that self-loathing ghey.

  50. Is there any way I can contribute some eye make-up remover to Ashley? Or maybe we can ask Grampy Warbucks for $150,000 towards Ashley’s therapy?

  51. This whole ordeal reminds me of a joke my uncle told me when I was a kid about “three pickets to Tittsburgh.”

    To make a long story short, it ends with St. Finger pointing his peter at you.

  52. Well in fairness. When her boyfriend beat the shit out her last week she claimed she fell into a door. She needed a new excuse this week. You know Ashley if dinner had been ready on time all of this could have been avoided.

  53. Seriously, are we surprised that Drudge seems oddly inexperienced at fending off the self-pitying stories from headcase 20 year old women who only want to get on his site?

  54. [re=147165]dougbob[/re]: I just don’t understand this fascination with BOOKS. It’s a
    waste of time. TV is a much better alternative. I haven’t read a
    single book since about 6th grade or 7th grade.

  55. [re=147045]Mara47[/re]: And you should apologize for your pedant-baiting spelling of “devisive”, too. But apparently Mr. Fox VP didn’t catch that one.

  56. I think we should all cut the poor girl some slack.

    She’s young. I’m sure that, as she gains wisdom with the years, her race-baiting techniques will improve and she’ll be as credible as any other Fox News host.

  57. [re=147161]StrangelyBrown[/re]: They probably won’t mention it again and just let their bitter haters keep thinking that it is a reason to keep “that one” out of the White-mans House.

  58. [re=147147]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: Oh, there will be a scar but my guess is it’ll be shrouded from public view by the eternal GOP facial bukakke she’s so rightfully earned.

  59. Goddamit! I missed this breaking news by being out to lunch!
    But I’m glad I was part of a full-fledged Wonkette investigation.

    WOOOHOOO!!

  60. Cant wait to see this on Olbermann’s show. It shoudl also be a leading story on every media outlet – that some fucktard made such an over the top attempt to race-bait

  61. So the Fudge Report finally got on board and decided to declare this a fake. But what is really funny is the sweet BHO ad on the homepage. The same homepage that is disparaging BHO without mercy (or facts).

  62. This transcends epic fail and soars into the realm of ultimate, super-ultra deluxe fail.

    [re=147178]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: The Freeper comments are priceless. Some are disappointed it wasn’t real, others are convinced she was an Obama plant. Let the wingnut paranoia begin:

  63. [re=147178]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Win. This is the best comment there: “Yep. Thanks a lot stupid girl.

    Here comes the libs field day.”

    Hahaha, suck it, freepers. And Angelina Jolie was a hotter cutter too.

  64. [re=147178]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Fan-fucking-tastic. She’s a McCain volunteer, but the Freepers have “outed” her as a Pautardian saboteur. Ameros FTW!

  65. Following the evolution of this episode, I think we can predict that, pretty soon, the right-wingers will say that the chick is really an Obama supporter who staged this whole thing in a lame attempt to discredit the McCain campaign.
    We’ll be hearing this on Fox News before the end of the day.

  66. [re=147184]Austingunner[/re]: Speaking of Halloween. It happens on the Friday before the election. What surprise lurks in the hearts of politicos and evildoers for next weeks News Dump? Who will be exposed as a cheat, a fraud, a crossdresser, as having teh geh? Halloween is Xmas in Wonkette-i-stan.

  67. It wasn’t the backwards ‘B’ that made me doubt her, it wasn’t the phoney-looking black eye, it wasn’t the fact she was out of sight of the security cameras, it wasn’t not getting medical attention…but when she quoted the black dude from the “wrong” side of Pittsburgh as saying, “That’s for supporting John McCain!”, well, then I knew it was bullshit. Nobody in Pittsburgh city talks that way, black or white.

  68. What makes it more pathetic is that all the Democratic materials feature the letter O for Obama, not the letter B. If she’d had a brain in her head, she would have carved herself with an O and avoided the mirror mistake! Hahahaha!

  69. [re=147178]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Here’s my favorite:

    “Yep. Thanks a lot stupid girl.

    Here comes the libs field day.”

    Might be the only correct thing they’ve ever written!

  70. [re=147105]NoWireHangers[/re]: Now, now. That talk of lynchin’ is exactly the type of thing bougie blackies try to NOT think about, Nowire. We reserve thoughts like that for Sunday service with the good Rev. Wright, ok? Today is Happy Implode-a-Friday!

  71. At the Freeper site about 1,200 commenters have written “come to think of it that “B” did look backwards, like she wrote it looking in the mirror!” and then “hey I think I noticed that too!!!111”
    Geniuses, they are.

  72. [re=147219]edgydrifter[/re]: [re=147218]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: [re=147217]President Beeblebrox[/re]: [re=147210]StrangelyBrown[/re]:

    Freeperland is always great for a laugh. My favorite comments are by the people who are saying this idiot has now sunk McCain. Yes. The whole McCain failure. It’s all the fault of this secret Paultard/Obama plant and her lie 11 days before Nov 4th.

  73. [re=147230]whiteasasheet[/re]: I’m surprised she didn’t quote him as saying “That’s for supporting former POW John McCain and his freedom-loving agenda of prosperity and tax cuts!”

  74. [re=146938]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Oh I know! But she and McCain did call her so…. They still believed her story. I’m glad Obama didn’t go that far and instead spent time with his grandmother.

  75. [re=147188]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Quelle horreur! I ashame myself very much. Pedant-baiting in such parlous times, too; unforgivable. You got anything to drink?

  76. [re=146966]JoeFannyPack[/re]: Apparently the police got surveillance tapes from the cameras at the bank she claimed to went to and it wasn’t her there. They also did a polygraph.

  77. Fox News headline!

    McCain Worker ‘Confesses’
    She Made Up Attack Story

    It would up their credibility if they would replace the quotations with animated gifs of Hannity doing the universal hand gesture for “QUOTE”.

  78. Man, I thought October could never be better than 2006 with Mark Foley’s AIM gifts to the world.

    But this one-ups it.

    My wife is going as ashley todd for halloween and I’ll be the imaginary unidentified black male. Question: Should I carry a toothpick, or a swiss army knife plastic toothpick that’s been disengaged?

  79. i knew it i called it on the first post, the guy was carvin the ‘B’ for Bitch, then he blew his load and lost interest..wait, she lied? NOO WAYYY!! Serves me right i had a whole bi-racial rape fantasy thing in my head. oh well whats next?

  80. [re=147046]LuxMentis[/re]: Exactly. She knowingly did this scam to the police to slam Senator Obama and Obama supporters. I hope something happens to her. Police don’t like it when you waste their time like that.

  81. Even the National Review is eating its words . . .

    http://corner.nationalreview.com/

    Re: Assaulted Volunteer Story [Andy McCarthy]

    In view of the developments noted by Jonah, I have removed the picture and allusion to mutilation from my prior post. I have not deleted the post because I am not trying to purge the fact that I appear to have jumped on the news report too early. I’m not apologizing, because the story is news and it would have been discussed whether I’d posted on it or not. But I do wish I had waited until we could be reasonably sure it was true.

  82. [re=147111]Rodney Badger[/re]: oh, if only it were a felony, that would be the most delicious justice. Anyone this stupid deserves to have their voting rights taken away. Except in Texas they let felons vote after they finish serving their sentence…probably because they just go ahead and kill most of them before they can get let out of jail.

  83. It was reported that Palin and McCain called the girls family offering their sympathy and condolences on the vicisous attack…. Wonder if they are going to call them back and tell them, “Look, tell that little bitch that she had damned well better learn to tell better lies if she wants to be a true Republican”

  84. [re=147289]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Oh yeah. Probably some intern from Pittsburgh whose mother still tells him he should have gotten that gig at KDKA, I mean, with their connections and all.

  85. [re=147270]dearmurray[/re]: Speaking of that arsehole, I am sure he will downplay it as one kooky person. HOWEVAH, said nutter was a volunteer on the campaign, NOT like Ayers or Wright. Though Ayers probably would carve up someone…probably Hannity.

  86. [re=147289]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=147289]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Oh yeah. Probably some intern from Pittsburgh whose mother still tells him he should have gotten that gig at KDKA, I mean, with their connections and all.

  87. [re=147088]Gopherit[/re]: I couldn’t find the “victim” reference at Drudge, but two items there bothered me enough to comment on. One is a poll with some past success showing Obama and McCain a point apart; not likely, but still disconcerting to see.
    Much more disconcerting was a Gallup poll that showed 75 percent of 18-24 voters are waiting until election day, while a much higher percentage of seniors will vote early. That gives the weatherman a huge sway over results in battleground states, with advantage to McCain’t, who should do best with seniors. An election day ice storm in Pennsylvania and Ohio, and things could get uncomfortable.
    Young people need to learn the old Chicago saying about elections: vote early, vote often. I’m sure that many a fine Chicago ancestor will punch a card for Barry, but we need the kids, too.

  88. As part of her punishment, she should be forced to pay $60.00 to the Obama campaign – the amount she reported stolen – and she should be forced to get a blue B tattooed on her cheek, so she will be forever marked as “that one.”

  89. [re=147309]azw88[/re]: Nope, ’cause her confession and subsequent charge for lying to the police are simply more attacks from a gotcha police department and city prosecutors. The Mavericks will carry on with the meme as usual – the darkies did it.

  90. [re=147010]totoro[/re]: I hope it has changed over the years, but you DO NOT want to spend a night in the Pittsburgh Metro holding cell waiting for Monday Morning’s Araignments Judge. I bailed people from there and saw the ‘temporary holding compound’ in Hue in 1969. I would have preferred Hue.

  91. I wonder if she specifically wanted to make campaign news, or whether this is somebody with a richly developed case of Munchausen’s Syndrome who thought making it political might get her a bit more attention. I suppose, either way, it’s all come to pass.

    Seriously, I’m very glad that something violent and frightening didn’t happen to her.

  92. Drudge actually has the “She made it up!” headline on the front and center. I wonder how many minutes before it goes down, never to be mentioned again.

  93. [re=147111]Rodney Badger[/re]: I wonder though because she’s twenty. I don’t think she’s considered a juvie though is she? It will be interesting to see what the police does with this.

  94. [re=147348]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: My old roommate got popped in Pittsburgh for a DUI. They put him in the overnight cell without even frisking him. He had a joint in his shirt pocket. He said he was lucky there were only a couple other guys in that night, so they all got stoned without causing a riot. True story.

  95. [re=147212]bitchincamaro[/re]: Not South Korea but perhaps North Korea or China. I don’t think the people of South Korea do that stuff.

  96. [re=147231]OutOutBlogger[/re]: Exactly. And plus the “O” would’ve been easier to do and run. Plus she had a cell phone with her and didn’t take his picture? C’mon she has a Youtube account with that janitor man.

  97. Well predicted, I guess you wonkette guys totally called that this was a fake! Seemed obvious to me too, but I guess Matt Drudge and Fox News, which also had a big headline about this, were just a little slow on the uptake. What else is new?

  98. [re=147246]mdotsota[/re]: I’m now wondering about a Lifetime movie. ;) Fox would probably do it though since it’s up their ally or perhaps give her a show or something.

  99. [re=147178]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Awesomest comment at Freeper in response to this story: “Now it will be harder for us to run Rev. Wright ads because everyone will scream ‘oh look, the nasty Republicans are appealing to racism again.'”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m so happy right now, champagne would be redundant.

  100. [re=147261]JSDC007[/re]: Hey how perfect because he now is saying he wants to run for Congress in 2010. I guess Ms Todd will be free by then?

  101. I find it fabulous that the add on Pittsburgh Live that I see features a jack-o-lantern with a kitty face. If pumpkins with a backwards B carved in them aren’t all the rage this Halloween, I don’t know what will be.

  102. Apparently todd told police she’d had mental problems before (shocking, I know). And now I’m wishing I’d mentioned something I noticed last night: those dilated pupils. That’s consistent with a variety of drugs, street and otherwise. One of the “otherwise” drugs is for bipolar disorder. All those YouTube productions are the product of two manic phases, perhaps?

    And yes, yes, I *do* enjoy parlor analysis very much. Especially with sherry…where’s the sherry….?

  103. i think i saw missy in that JESUS CAMP movie.
    how much you want to bet she was home schooled?
    it’s like we have to stay drunk 24/7 just to keep up.

    by november fifth i’ll need a liver transplant.

  104. This just gets better and better. The Pittsburgh, PA press conference was held by the asst. chief, who is an African-American woman. She’s talking about how ugly this could have turned. Oh, the self-righteous, black pain. I love this woman–the chief, and kinda’ Ashley, too.

    Now McWalnuts campaign is clarifying they never paid this nutcase.

    Yeah, like that makes a difference.

    And the crowing CNN anchor is bragging they didn’t show it and blaming Fox.

    I just realized I’m liveblogging CNN. Sorry about that.

  105. [re=147409]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You know, she was interrogated by the Spanish Inquisition.

    Now I’m just waiting for the Mean Janitor to endorse Joe the Plumber.

  106. [re=147496]East of Sweden[/re]: Unexpected!

    I wonder if the Mean Janitor has any idea this is going on. Ignorance = bliss, in this case?

  107. But wait…. how’d she get the black eye? I mean… I can see the whole self-mutilation thing with the letter B — but you’ve got to be one determined soldier to give yourself a black eye.

  108. [re=147090]WIDTAP[/re]: No, this only means he will lose PA. FNC will soon explain how this hoax will actually boost McCain’s numbers in OH, FL, and NH.

  109. Whatever… I think physcotic cutting is hot. And this shows her creative, spunky, “thinking out of the box side”. go crazy cutting chick!

  110. [re=147105]NoWireHangers[/re]: 50 years? The last lynching was in 1981 to Michael Donald, 19, the night after an all white jury returned a hung jury verdict during a trail of a black man charged with killing a white policeman in Mobile. That is if you don’t count the time when three texas good ole boys tied James Byrd to the back of his truck and dragged him for three miles. A pathologist testified that Byrd was alive as he was dragged by a tow chain around his ankles until his head, shoulder and right arm were torn off by a drain.

  111. [re=147227]Bigfoot[/re]: “Little bit slutty, lit bit nutty–I’d hit it.”

    Me, too, if it were a hit-and-run and my hands were full (left hand, anyway).

  112. [re=147438]Mara47[/re]: I really hope the police do some sort of mental evaluation before just believing her about her “mental issues.” It seems to me a lot of planning went into this whole ordeal. Even though she sucked at it she still put a lot into it. Sorry but this isn’t a mental issue at all.

  113. [re=147568]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Oh yes I remember reading about those events. Simply awful. I wonder if this girl got her ideas from that? So sad.

  114. [re=147230]whiteasasheet[/re]: And the incident was alleged to have occurred at Liberty and Pearl, about three blocks from West Penn Hospital and across the street from a large Catholic Church.

  115. [re=147045]Mara47[/re]: Might want to clean up your spelling of “divisive”, too, while you’re at it. Just ’cause you’re trying to look extra-smart and extra-snarky when you write back to this tool.

  116. [re=147613]LittlePinky82[/re]: I’m not letting her off the hook. I’m sure there are many reasons for her behavior, and we might even find out which is the real one, but what remains is that she put the world at risk: no shit. I would be very happy to see her stuck in a padded cell somewhere forever, if only as something parents could point their kids toward when telling them how important it is to keep taking their meds when they go away to collitch.

  117. was emailed this by a friend at work, it’s on craiglist

    Will you “B” mine? – w4m – 20 (Liberty Ave, Bloomfield)
    ——————————————————————————–
    Reply to: pers-891957192@craigslist.org [?]
    Date: 2008-10-24, 2:58PM EDT

    I was on Liberty Avenue near (but not exactly at) the Citizen’s Bank near Pearl, and I caught you out of the corner of my eye. You were a 6’4″ 200 lbs black man, and, I must admit, you’re way sexier than any of the 72 year old men I’ve been hanging out with recently.

    I know I might not be exactly your type, but I’m wondering, will you “B” mine?

  118. [re=147637]iolanthe[/re]: Catch up, honey. We’ve visited that station of the cross already and have had a couple of good laughs over it. Two old ladies saying their rosaries in nearby pews had to tell us to shush.

  119. [re=147449]echoman2000[/re]: “how much you want to bet she was home schooled?”

    And now Bob Jones U and Liberty College are offering her full scholarships. The two of them are actually in a bidding war. BTW–I just made that up, but it sounded so feasible, I thought is best to add a disclaimer, lest my political commentary sink to the level of Drudge rather than living up to the fine journalistic standards of Wonkette. America’s most reliable news source.

    Wonder when America’s Investigative Reporters on PBS will come knocking at wonkette’s door.

  120. [re=147171]dearmurray[/re]: For that alone I would ask you to marry me, if my beautiful musician husband hadn’t recently snatched himself an ID and an icon and started posting here. But I’ll remember you in case the musician thing doesn’t pan out in the long run.

  121. [re=147377]Weeping Jesus[/re]: I once had to bail a guy on Christmas Morning, he was thrown in at about 12:00 (still dressed as Santa). His cell mates were a tranny hooker and the night chef from the Eat ‘n’ Park just a few blocks south of where little miss toddy said she was lifted.

  122. [re=147641]Mara47[/re]: Well I wouldn’t go that far with the world at risk but maybe that general area. Thankfully the security cameras got enough evidence to show she was lying. Now the College Republicans don’t want her anymore.

  123. [re=147229]magic titty[/re]: Okay. I’ll even spell-check myself this time ;-) I’m gonna say… “Still waiting, John. You promised!” And then I’ll threaten to tell his wife about us. Do you think she’ll care, or does the Bergdorf’s account pretty much cover it?

  124. Decoy says at 3:25 pm, October 24th, 2008 – ReplyBut wait…. how’d she get the black eye? I mean… I can see the whole self-mutilation thing with the letter B — but you’ve got to be one determined soldier to give yourself a black eye.

    Black eye is easy. Break your own nose – that shit is hardcore. Nobody does that. Even the woman that killed her kids and blamed it on the imaginary dude that broke into her house couldn’t do that.

  125. [re=147660]LittlePinky82[/re]: Oh, if this had cost Obama the election, you can be darn sure the world would have gotten the ultimate short end. That’s what I meant. (Imagine two bright, heartbreaking eyes blinking at you) Is that okay?

  126. Oh, the redstaters make me so happy. Observe the paranoid delusion:

    “Which direction was she trying to influence it?

    bk October 24th, 2008 at 3:05 p.m. CDT (link)

    Was she trying to turn people off toward Obama?

    –or–

    Was she trying to make it look like McCain people planted it and therefore help Obama?”

  127. [re=147326]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Are you talking about the Nazi AP/Gfk poll? Yeah that poll was conducted in nuremburgH(sp?) germany. Maybe…

  128. I blogged last night on some off the wall rightie sitey I stumbled on like a lying sociopath looking for a Pittsburgh ATM (wasting way too much time on this hobby). I joked to this hostile room that the Ashley story probably wasn’t exactly precisely true and laughed at the racists on the site who bought it without hesitation and tweaked them about “hey, Obama is about to be your president so you better get used to it.” Some Klannish lady responded to my post that “you obviously don’t know what it’s like to have a large man who’s 5x stronger than you hold you down and carve your face.” And I was thinking, Scarlett, girlfriend, you have one active fantasy life.

    And it suddenly hit me: the story was widely believed because all those Scarletts out there WANTED to believe it, because something about the fantasy made them go, like, all wiggly. I learned something about righty Klangirls last night: a lot of them are going to secretly vote for Barack. So don’t be surprised if his victory in Real America is even more virile and potent than expected.

  129. Ashley Todd, a walking advertisement for the need for universal (psychiatric) health care. Please, America, don’t let another one slip through the cracks.

  130. [re=147111]Rodney Badger[/re]: Every time she applies for job, the form will ask if she’s ever been of a crime. She’ll have to say “yes” and then explain all the sorry details. If she lies, say “no,” well, getting caught won’t help her record, either.

    Zhu Bajie

  131. [re=147212]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yes! I remember a prof from Japan telling me once that their pols are always apologizing for things, but only the suicides were sincere!

    Zhu Bajie

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