SAY IT AIN'T SO JOE  12:10 pm October 24, 2008

John McCain’s Brother Cussed Out 911!

by Sara K. Smith

Terrible seething venomous rage runs in the McCain family, it appears. Whereas a normal person sitting in a traffic jam would say, “man, this sucks,” John McCain’s brother Joe calls 911 to complain and then says “fuck you” to the operator who is confused about why he’s calling an emergency hotline about a common everyday occurrence.

Several fantastic points about this story: the operator called him back, and of course got his voicemail, which said something to the effect of, “I am John McCain’s brother doing very important things right now,” (like calling 911 to bitch about traffic). And then he called 911, AGAIN, to complain, AGAIN.

The most wonderful thing, however, is how much Joe McCain sounds exactly like John McCain on the phone.

Joe McCain calls 911 about a traffic jam [YouTube]

 
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{ 93 comments }

Delicious October 24, 2008 at 12:14 pm

McRage!

The Cold Sea October 24, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Petulance runs in the family. Mom and dad would throw the boys in a tub of ice cold water when they acted up. They didn’t do it enough, obviously.

Seriously, what a bunch of elitist twats, these McCains.

Styrofoam Boots October 24, 2008 at 12:15 pm

OMG LULZ, BRB… LOL!

Texan Bulldoggette October 24, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Sounds like Joe McCain is in Barry’s tank also, since this helps Brother Walnuts out so much, esp. in the Commie part of VA.

ExecutorElassus October 24, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Hey, we’re making progress! He didn’t call the operator a trollopy cunt, so something’s clearly working!

ManchuCandidate October 24, 2008 at 12:16 pm

No Traffic Flow
No Movement
No giving thanks to all the Emergencies you do
But what it is, though old so new
To fill your heart like no Two words could ever do

I just called to say FUUUK you
I just called to say how much I care, I do
I just called to say FUUCK you
And I say you can lick the taint above my ass!

Bostoprov October 24, 2008 at 12:16 pm

From 2 weeks earlier…

“Hello? 9-1-1? Yeah, this sandwich that I’m eating is awful. It’s terrible. My wife just doesn’t know how to make a sandwich. God, help me!”

“Sir? What is the nature of the emergency?”

“Fuck you, bitch. God, this sandwich sucks…” –Click…

Texan Bulldoggette October 24, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Ooh, forgot: FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES, ALAN! He was sitting in traffic for FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES!

nurple October 24, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Oddly, kind of amazing that this is not amazing. This is almost getting lost in the general shit-storm. How come events like this seem to cluster together?

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm

This is the one draw back of voting for Obama. McCain can continue the history of wacky siblings and children that we have come to expect from our Presidents.

hockeymom October 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm

wow…the mcain/palin families are just so….helpful.

Palin-Plumber2012 October 24, 2008 at 12:19 pm

McCain’s brother has Rudy Giuliani’s phone number?

Tawmn October 24, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Sounds like he has the same colorful language as his brother as well. I wonder what the parrot in the McCain household sounded like while they were growing up?

Kev-O-Tron October 24, 2008 at 12:19 pm

So douchiness runs in the family? Is it some kind of gene? Is being a complete jerk a McCain tradition?

Mumble Softly October 24, 2008 at 12:20 pm

This brightened my otherwise sad day in which I am watching global stock markets plunge to untested lows. Bravo Mr McCain. Maybe Joe deserves the VP spot instead of that cunt Palin.
The two mccain brothers could gang up on Obama and open up a can of whup ass on his …….on his……. on his ASS !!!

Panderfinder October 24, 2008 at 12:20 pm

he was all mad because he was stuck in traffic in Communist Northern
VA. you know, where his BROTHER lives!

it appears that the mccain family is as mentally stable as the buchanan family.

shellbomber October 24, 2008 at 12:22 pm

@joemccain: this traffic needs to go away!

Blue Myself October 24, 2008 at 12:22 pm

God, now 911 is in the tank.
When WALNUTS becomes Prez, the Emergency Response System is the first thing that goes.

Servo October 24, 2008 at 12:22 pm

My brother’s a HERO, goddammit!

chaste everywhere October 24, 2008 at 12:22 pm

Shouldn’t someone find out what this guy’s “very important family political project” might be?

GreatLakesNation October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

I think we can all agree that a large black man stole the cellphone from ‘Joe 9-1-1′ and called to complain about traffic. And fondled his breasts.

HuskyMescan October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

John immediately called Joe about this. I have the transcript (thanks to FISA):
John: “Did you fucking call 911 and complain about traffic, what are you trying to do to me?”
Joe: “Fuck you!”
John: “No, fuck you!”
Joe: “No, fuck you!”
John: “Fuck you!”
Joe: “Fuck you!”
(goes on for about 45 minutes)

Palin-Plumber2012 October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Hahaha, better change that voicemail after 11-4, you won’t have other political projects, unless you want to leave the message, “This is Joe McCain, I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m busy delivering a very important spoonful of creamed corn to my brother the decrepit Senator.”

tinybubbles October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

NoVa commie traffic is in the tank for Barry.

ManchuCandidate October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

[re=146726]Kev-O-Tron[/re]:
The old moldy Jerk Turds do not fall far from the Jerk Ass.

You don’t get to be a 4 star admiral by being nice.

Carrie_Okie October 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm

[re=146724]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: exactly my thinking.

nurple October 24, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Mumble – the stock market is looking for a bottom. OH I AM WINNING TODAY…

Bostoprov October 24, 2008 at 12:25 pm

[re=146734]shellbomber[/re]: You win the wittiest post award.

Texan Bulldoggette October 24, 2008 at 12:28 pm

[re=146739]HuskyMescan[/re]: (goes on for about 45 minutes)

Until Walnuts gets winded, is too weak to hang up the phone & has to call Cindy to fire up his oxygen tank. There, story ended.

shortsshortsshorts October 24, 2008 at 12:29 pm

OH MY GOD it is so clear that the 9/11 operator is in the tank. I mean, what the fuck? Joe was clearly distraught by his dementia, and this bastard treats him like he is AN EVERYDAY CITIZEN. If the government was doin’ its jawb this man would NOT be driving.

Texan Bulldoggette October 24, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=146735]Blue Myself[/re]: Naaah, he’s going to need them. But they’re going to be arm wrestling over who has to give Walnuts mouth to mouth.

Bypartizoa October 24, 2008 at 12:29 pm

On November 5th:

“Hello, 911? This is John McCain calling. A black man just won an elections that was supposed to be mine.”

NoWireHangers October 24, 2008 at 12:30 pm

I call 911 to curse out the operator when I get my period. Then I go to Target and shoot boxes of Tampax with my handgun. It really helps the cramps.

distracts October 24, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Scott Thuman looks like an arrogant jerk. Like a cross between GOB from “Arrested Development” and Chuck from “Gossip Girl.”

OzoneTom October 24, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Cindy was right, “the only way to get around the state is by small private plane.” Any state obviously. Except a state of rage.

Dave J. October 24, 2008 at 12:34 pm

That drawbridge is in the tank for Hopey, this is disgraceful.

loquaciousmusic October 24, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Don’t give the guy a hard time. Maybe he’s just a Public Enemy fan.

GlennBecksTaint October 24, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Hey Joe McCain – stop spreading the wealth with your phony 911 emergency calls!

Kev-O-Tron October 24, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Joe McCain was confused. McCain campaign policy states that all things (including traffic) are the fault of 9/11.

AdRock October 24, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Actually, I believe this is McCain’s new robo-call.

CatrinkaS October 24, 2008 at 12:39 pm

This begs for its own yard sign – Joe the Angry Brother, Joe the Insane 911 Caller, Joe the Relative, Joe the Representative of the Lunatic Fringe…

It’s really just SO unstable.

problemwithcaring October 24, 2008 at 12:39 pm

[re=146759]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Of course the operator’s in the Blackie’s tank. Did you hear the “Riot” act he gave poor Joe the Special Needs Brother?

WalnutsThePlumber October 24, 2008 at 12:41 pm

i think what you’re all forgetting is that if we hadn’t spent money on this TERRIBLE SOCIALIST PROJECT that is the capital beltway in the first place, joe mccain wouldn’t have been stuck. obviously dwight eisenhower is IN THE TANK

RadioFreeBabylon October 24, 2008 at 12:41 pm

No wonder Obama can afford to go to Hawaii to visit granny. He’s got Amy Strozzi, Ashley Todd and Joe McCain working overtime to derail what little hope McCain still had. And of course Tina Fey will have a helluva good time on Saturday with the line, “The Vice-President is in charge of the Senate!”

If I was Obama, I’d let out a few more body-surfing images, just to rub it in.

ihasasad October 24, 2008 at 12:42 pm

He’s Joe the Brother

bitchincamaro October 24, 2008 at 12:44 pm

Where’s a collapsing bridge when you need one?

Lemming Caution October 24, 2008 at 12:44 pm

[re=146719]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: that’s what I was thinking! Billy Carter, Roger Clinton…Joe McCain!

Buffy and Hildegard October 24, 2008 at 12:47 pm

This is clearly a jihadist plot (9-1-1, 9/11 — coincidence? I don’t think so!) against John McCain perpetuated by the Alexndria (pronounced “fake”) Virginia 911 operators’ union.

binarian October 24, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Clearly he’s the Billy Carter for the new millenium.

Dreamer October 24, 2008 at 12:51 pm

What did he think 911 will do about the trafic – send him a helicopter. That is one dude with major entitlement issues. Just imagine if his brother was the POTUS.

Dreamer October 24, 2008 at 12:53 pm

[re=146738]GreatLakesNation[/re]: LOL

Borat October 24, 2008 at 12:56 pm

You’d have to be really lonely to think to call 911 to complain about something. That’s the kind of thing you call your 99 year old grandmother to complain about

Viva la Cynthia October 24, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Um, that’s probably something my brother would do, so I can’t really say anything. :-/

Dreamer October 24, 2008 at 12:57 pm

[re=146739]HuskyMescan[/re]: I am betting one of them called the other’s wife an nasty name.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 24, 2008 at 12:57 pm

People, people… y’all are missing the whole point. Joe simply heard that all his niggras back on the family plantation in Mississippi were coming up out of the cotton fields and voting for the ultimate uppity niggra, and he was trying to race back there and quell the uprising. And the damn drawbridge was IN HIS GODDAMN WAY GODDAMMIT. Now do you understand?

The Neoskeptic October 24, 2008 at 1:03 pm

he did it for the LOLz, you cunt trollops!

Maus October 24, 2008 at 1:04 pm

[re=146708]The Cold Sea[/re]: “Petulance runs in the family. Mom and dad would throw the boys in a tub of ice cold water when they acted up. They didn’t do it enough, obviously.”

Yet another sign that nonstop corporal punishment only makes people bigger brats when they’re out of sight of mom and dad.

gjdodger October 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm

What was Joe McCain thinking? This is going to undo all of his brother’s momentum from Ashley Todd being attacked by that Obama supporter.

larz October 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm

If McCain wins, Palin can fire the whole 911 staff.

BruceLee5000 October 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm

[re=146717]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: KUDOS. You beat me to it by a long shot.

DangerousLiberal October 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Whatta fuckin’ douche. First the Bible Spice clothes fiasco, now this. Douches, each and every one. And who the fuck is Ashley Todd, other than a college kid with a twitter* account and an active imagination. Oh, and some not so latent racism.

Christ, I leave the country for four days, and what the f……

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm

LOL and John McCain talks about being with the working class people. How many working class people do y’all know who call up 911 and piss about traffic? Good grief. I had a little traffic trouble this morning heading into a class but I didn’t dial 911 and yell at them about it. What was he expecting? A police escort with all the flashy sounds?

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm

[re=146708]The Cold Sea[/re]: A tub of cold ice? Looks to me they should’ve done it the southern way a nice spanking.

DangerousLiberal October 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm

*Twitter–the dumbest internet thing ever invented. Now available for racists!

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm

[re=146724]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: OMG lol I so didn’t think about that.

ohboy October 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm

why does john get the motorcade but not joey?!! not fair!!!

HuskyMescan October 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm

[re=146843]Dreamer[/re]: a noun, a verb and trollop-c*nt…the McCain legacy we’ll all remember.

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm

[re=146725]Tawmn[/re]: LOL well my uncle a good long time ago used to have this awesome parrot that would actually speak and it would sometimes say “shit.” LOL. I imagine the McCain parrot with some interesting and colorful language like it’s feathers.

BruceLee5000 October 24, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=146739]HuskyMescan[/re]: FTW! Acting this out in raspy, spiteful McCain voices is AWESOME!

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=146726]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Apparently so. On some radio program (sorry I can’t remember who it was from) was saying how McCain said his family never owned slaves and it was found out he lied about that. There are some decedents of those who were slaves of the McCain family (children from the rapes) and either every year or other year or something like that the family who had a parent who was a slave all have a get together to catch up and whatnot and apparently John McCain has never showed up. Other family members apparently have but never him.

PortlandSmartAss October 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm

He was just proving the problem with big government … what was that stupid 911 operator (employee of bloated government) DOING taking his call?? And then calling him BACK?!? Clearly an overpaid and unnecessary government employee.

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm

[re=146738]GreatLakesNation[/re]: And knifed a “B” in his face.

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 1:25 pm

[re=146820]Buffy and Hildegard[/re]: It’s a union! Quick where’s Joe McCarthy when Joe McCain needs him!

edgydrifter October 24, 2008 at 1:26 pm

PEANUTS! has always suffered as second fiddle to WALNUTS! While John was pulling seven Gs in his jet-powered phallus projector, Joe was struggling to parallel park the company delivery truck. While John was trading in his starter trollop for a leggy, pill-addled heiress, Joe was trying out his best lines on the waitress at IHOP. John grunts “hennngh” and a dozen servants and bodyguards come running, and Joe can’t even get an ounce of respect from a damned 911 operator. Oh, how he must seethe with rage!

Mara47 October 24, 2008 at 1:27 pm

This is taking sibling rivalry to whole new undreamed-of heights. What a thrilling ride we’re on, Wonketeers!

HuskyMescan October 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=146919]edgydrifter[/re]: haha..the story moves me. Poor PEANUTS!

Rozalia October 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Lol!!!! That is truly fucken funny! PEANUTS!!

CthuNHu October 24, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Can we predict what happens tomorrow?

Steven Schmidt argues with a Girl Scout with a ninja merit badge over whether he should get a discount for buying Thin Mints by the pallet-load, gets beaten up and has a trefoil carved into his head with a Swiss Army knife?

Roberta McCain shows reporters 1938 photos of the family dog peeing on toddler John S. McCain III?

The Ohio McCain headquarters gets cut off from the internet, accuses the Obama campaign of “launching a highly sophisticated DOS attack,” and calls in state police, who discover that a cable has been yanked out of the wall and used as “an improvised restraint” in the server room that also happens to have a “vibrating couch, assorted bondage equipment and other sexual paraphernalia” in it?

Meghan goes on Ellen Degeneres’s show for “a very special and personal announcement”?

Miller October 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm

“Hey 911, these kids won’t get off my damn lawn and I’m too busy with important campaign business to do it myself. Fuck you.”

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

WIDTAP October 24, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Well sure the Republican s are providing great support for Obama’s campaign, but what about the Democratic Senate Candidates? Can’t a few of the Republican Senate candidates take Michele Bachmann’s lead and advocate the return of slavery as an economic fix or call for the immediate investigation of UFO sitings?

Come on Republicans. Don’t be playing favorites with Obama when so many Senate Candidates need your help too!

BobLoblawLawBlog October 24, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=146728]Mumble Softly[/re]: I’m with you. I was so bummed there was no Billy Carter or Roger Clinton to remind me what total fuck-ups lurk in the shadows of some politicos’ family trees. And now Joe. Bless you, Sir! You are a true American!

Traffic jams do suck, though.

WIDTAP October 24, 2008 at 1:43 pm

[re=147021]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]:

Are you guys kidding? We’ve had Jeb Bush’s loony brother in the spotlight for eight years now. Where have you been?

Luke Warm October 24, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Joe thinks emergency services are just another pork project in Commie Northern Virginia

problemwithcaring October 24, 2008 at 2:00 pm

It’s so obvs he uses that voicemail msg to get laid. Douche. He is in desparate need of his own reality TV show, ala Ashley Simmpson.

slithytoves October 24, 2008 at 2:10 pm

What political project? It’s not like McCain actually has a campaign or anything.

JJva October 24, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Joe of all people should know that us commies in Alexandria move a little slower than freedom loving real Americans.

The Jackson Five October 24, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Joe the Brother and Ashley the Cut-Nut are gonna cause John the Walnut to beat the living shit out of Cindy the Trollop Cunt tonight.

faketree78 October 24, 2008 at 3:20 pm

911 is in the tank!

NYNYNY October 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm

His voice message reminds me of the voice message of Timothy Hutton’s brother: “Hi, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m involved in very important acting projects.”

NYNYNY October 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Republicans having been really jerking around the police today, huh?

coolcatdaddy October 24, 2008 at 3:44 pm

At least he didn’t say “c*nt”…

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 24, 2008 at 3:54 pm

“Hey, 911, what part of my brother’s FIVE AND A HALF YEARS as a POW did you not understand? Now get that damn bridge lowered!”

peteymca October 24, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Why was Joe McCain trying to go to Maryland anyway? Maryland is in the tank!

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