world government

John McCain Is President Of Namibia!

Note to RNC: Increase Namibian ad spend.Looky The Economist has a nifty Interactive Feature that shows, conclusively, the only place in the world where people like John McCain is in sub-Saharan Africa! (Namibia is known, colloquially, as “the West Virginia of Africa.”) Iraq or Cuba would also take him, but we doubt he’d accept the offer.

It is so cute when The Economist tries to explain to the rest of the world how our retarded electoral college works. It is also very charming when they include a weird graphic of two naked furries on a see-saw, like characters from Equus, to illustrate how Obama is kicking McCain’s ass. Also WTF Moldova, what did Barack Obama ever do to you, that you would “lean McCain” like that?

Vote Obama or McCain: Global Electoral College [The Economist via Boozhy]

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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67 comments

  1. Serolf Divad

    I suspect that in some of these countries the only people with Internet connections are the landed gentry whose grip on power has largely been funded by the American right… or maybe the name “McCain” just sounds a lot like the name of a local fertility goddess or something.

  2. Darehead

    Namibia — where neocon spawn Angelina had her first million dollar baby, no? Not sure how to connect the dots to McCain though.

  3. AngryBlakGuy

    …I guess we now know how Barack Obama raised 150 million dollars last month; through Nigerian email scams!!!

  4. Larry McAwful

    The United States would carry 437 electoral votes, not 432. It’s got 435 through its representatives, plus two for its senators, plus three for Washington DC. Get it right!

  5. mattbolt

    How hard is it to submit a vote? I mean, is it an online thing where a snickering Wisconsin teenager can just go “huh huh, yeah, I’m from like, Mongolia and I love Obama.”

    I find it hard to believe that enough people in all of these countries gave enough of a shit about a foreign country’s election that they’d go online to find some magazine, any magazine, where their voice could be heard in a pointless poll

  6. magic titty

    [re=146464]mattbolt[/re]: But don’t you know we’re that shining light on a hill of a thousand points of light!? They all look to us for the guidance.

  7. Dreamer

    Cuba in the tank for McCain -how long before we see that in an RNC ad. I think they are that desperate.

  8. Neon Trotsky

    He’s got Iraq and Cuba, let’s see if McCain can rack up the rest of the extended Axis of Evil!

  9. Larry McAwful

    [re=146473]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Dammit, math is hard. I quit.

    But if every country gets two senators, then the United States should only get two, too; otherwise the Global Senate will be too crowded and they’d never get their lunch orders straight.

  10. Dreamer

    [re=146464]mattbolt[/re]: Hey, my uncle lives in a city in Somaliland (not the one where pirates rule, but the peaceful one) and he regulary reads The Economist. People in other parts of the world I find are more engaged in American elections because they know how much they are affected by American Foreign Policy.

  11. JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=146481]Larry McAwful[/re]: We’ll just send them all a Grilled Rueben, with extra Russian and a side of Slaw.

  12. queeraselvis v 2.0

    On behalf of Andorrans, Lichtensteiners, and Luxembourgers everywhere, I call DISENFRANCHISEMENT!

  13. Neon Trotsky

    Obama currently has 100% of the vote in Uzbekistan. Perhaps this confirms Barry’s secret Muslimness as the president of Uzbekistan is named Islam Karimov…

  14. Rozalia

    Here, in the Canada, we’re almost 90% in the tank for Obama. Yet, last week, in our third general election in five years, my moronic fellow countrymen voted back in that fuckfaced neocon, Steven Harper. The good news on that is he has no power to do what he’d like to do which is to fuck us all over like Bush did to you guys. So, there is something to be said about the parliamentary system of government. Just keep on voting in minority governments, doesn’t really matter who. They’re always outnumbered by the elected opposition parties, so therefore have no balls…..

  15. Grumpyshoes

    That map has Obama leading in the USA popular vote 80 – 20. Where’s the Drudge headline for that one?

  16. Baseproduct

    Even Vietnam is against John McCain…. sad. You live somewhere for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS and you can’t even take 50%?

  17. mattbolt

    [re=146498]Rozalia[/re]: The reason Harper won was the exact same reason Bush won in ’04. The guy that the Dems/Liberals fielded was a lame duck, and voters went with the current guy rather than testing the weirdo.

    Parallels between Stephane Dion and Kerry:

    [x] Weren’t their party’s first choice, were really no-name 3rd place guys in the leadership race until they somehow beat out the star candidates through a bizarre series of alliances
    [x] Painted as being out-of-touch, French pussies by conservative rivals
    [x] A compromise candidate, not as charismatic or charming as people were hoping
    [x] Got fucked by a long, hard smear campaign (Swift boated vs. Dion’s Tax on Everything’d)
    [ ] Both forgot Poland

  18. Dreamer

    OMG, Iceland is like a third world country now. It’s getting two billion dollars from IMF. I should start reading Naomi Kline’s “The Shock Doctrine.” She’s on to something.

  19. Barack Like Me

    [re=146475]freakishlystrong[/re]: Isn’t this whole thing skewed/rigged to reflect just paid Economist subscriber’s votes? I tried to vote and all I got was a sign-up screen. Or is it because I’m in the USA that I’m an elite that thinks that we’re better than everybody else and not allowed to vote for free?

  20. ManchuCandidate

    [re=146514]mattbolt[/re]:
    Don’t forget the smugness that we wouldn’t be hit financially like US America has been hit. Not that we export some 70% of our total exports to US America or anything…

  21. aleks

    Oh man, I’m going to Namibia in December to teach for a year and I’ve been stocking up on Obamawear.

  22. grendel

    The real question is: How does Paraguay feel about their imminent colonial overlords when the elite right wing flee to live on the Bush compound?

  23. Terry

    [re=146454]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

    A friend emailed this morning parroting the RNC’s spin. Just HOW did Obama get all that money? Why won’t he come clean about who gave it to him, etc.

    I told him that everytime Palin speaks on television, millions of people immediately go to Obama’s website and donate money. THAT’s where the donations are coming from.

  24. FlownOver

    C’mon, Libya! Get with the program! How can we know who to put in charge of the nukes if you guys won’t speak up?

  25. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    There are like 5 people in Namibia, so there’s a good chance at least 3 or 4 of them are angry colonialist Germans hoping for a hundred-year occupation by the vaterland.

  26. JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=146531]Nathalie08[/re]: It’s like the painter I hired to do the hallway and up the stairs. He charged extra because it needed an extra coat.

  27. Styrofoam Boots

    McCain winning in Africa?! Clearly, they’re voting based on race.

    I still think Obama has it locked up though—if he can win Botswana.

  28. bluebrazos

    The only reason Walnuts carries any of those countries is that Lucifer is on the ballot as a third party candidate in places like Namibia and Macedonia. Naturally, that draws support away from Barack.

  29. protpisys

    I’m thinking we have 10 days left to get this right…we’re gonna need some goddamn boots on the ground…

  30. One Yield Regular

    Dagnabbit, those Papua New Guineans need to get off their lazy butts and get down to the polling station.

    Oh, and there are like 25 computers in all of Cuba. I’d bet a heaping plate of moros y cristianos that Cuba’s going McCain because Lincoln Diaz-Balart thought this was important enough to urge the whole Miami Cuban community to get on-line and vote for the sake of the motherland.

  31. mfundo

    Namibian who things that this is absolutely NOT FUNNY. We are all shearing for the black guy over here. Not to be racist or any of that crap, we just prefer a not so dinosaur looking guy. Even thou you guys all look the same to us.

Comments are closed.