Wonkette
Many new people have discovered the YouTube page of the youngish McCain volunteer who claimed she was mugged and mutilated by an eleven-foot-tall negroid Obama supporter who delicately scratched a mysterious hobbit symbol on the side of her face. But for some reason, nobody believes her, because, oh jesus, what a nut! But Drudge is still going strong with a (smaller) headline at the top of his important journalistic blog! [YouTube]
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank God for the internet.
Matt Drudge, attention whore.
This whole thing is sooooo fucking emo.
How do you think Matt is feeling about now– a bit of a sinking feeling– what kind of sick person do you have to be to think this could really happen?
With U-Tube friends like these, rite chubby?
WonderWomyn: Why so serious?
bhosp: I’m so deeply amused by this it’s shocked me in to deep refection.
WonderWomyn: I like to think that Drudge spends his days with a sickening, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach anyway. Just a default setting, you know?
ohhai. mak dis fer u.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73942503-AW
The B stands for bitter.
Remember how much fun we had with the sign generator?
Wonkette friends, I urge you to answer this challenge:
Submit your own “Joe the Plumber” video, which will run on the teevees!
http://www.johnmccain.com/joe/
WonderWomyn: Marginalized though it may be, Drudge is still running this shit on the front page. Like most Republicans, he has long since lost the capacity for what you and I call “feeling”. Do not pity him, for deep down inside, he is already dead.
AnnieGetYourFun: The hat is a constant source of confidence and joi d’vivre.
AnnieGetYourFun:
Yours wins.
AnnieGetYourFun: Put a “10-23-08 NEVER FORGET” on there somewhere and I think we have a winna!
The funny part is that after this fiasco, she’s going to get her ass whooped by some real negroids.
This whole thing makes me sad. Only because I wish that I was the one who came up with: “As someone who as actually been branded by an enraged negro, I’d like to say that your little stunt has cheapened my suffering.”
Wow, Blingees are oddly addictive. I draw the line here, though. I will not join Myface or whatever it is that kids spend their time on these days.
Let’s put a SMILE on that FACE!
I visited the Drudge thing for my first time a few minutes ago.
WTF!!!!!
How has this been the source of so much “news” over the last decade. I’ve found much more interesting “news” in my underpants over the last day or so (sorry, but it’s true).
Is the “media” really this lame. Oh right you are all smart people here, stupid question I know.
AnnieGetYourFun: Oh christ, so terrible …. I mean, “beautiful.”
To be honest I’m starting to wonder if this is performance art– Pittsburgh has a bigger art scene than all you elitists might suspect.
AnnieGetYourFun: Yes, you win! Im happy you replaced her lips.
The Post-Gazette has a revised story with juicy details, such as:
“Nowhere did she say to the officer that [the assailant] made reference to the bumper sticker. I don’t know how she came to the conclusion that he noticed the sticker. Our detectives will spend more time and get a more in-depth report,” Cmdr. Ross said.
He said the description of the robber as a 6-foot 4-inch, 200-pound black man is similar to that of a man who robbed a Liberty Avenue bank in recent weeks.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08298/922489-470.stm
AnnieGetYourFun: I know what you mean. It’s a good way to let out your frustration by retardifying a pundit.
Like Hannity! :
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73305155-Hanatee-iz-dumm-lik-a-baybee?offset=1&owner=chugs
i feel like a dirty blingee whore
Here we go!!!
“Police planned to administer a polygraph test to Ashley Todd, 20, because her statements about the attack conflict with evidence from the Citizens Bank ATM where she claims the incident occurred, police said”
Ken Layne: You make me blush, sir.
WonderWomyn: Like that chick who pretended to create art with the blood from her one million herbally-induced abortions? Oh, that was Yale.
HuskyMescan: stew: Yes indeed. This is the “payoff” for working late, on the Internets. Also, wine.
let’s send her to minnesota to work michelle’s campaign. i hear they’re lookin’
I made this for her as well.
http://tinyurl.com/5rgmat
But now that I see this blingee version I bow to you.
The ‘Drop it like it’s Hot’ dancer was a nice touch.
Ken Layne: Yet your elegant and regal avatar intimidates me.
omg “mynie” is my new favorite internet crazy, i want to know what screwed up neighborhood he was hanging out in to get branded, that has got to be one heck of a story.
what the hell did this crazy asshat say the “B” was supposed to stand for anyway? black? barack? forgot that Obama starts with an O? probably just boring old “bitch.”
stew: They still use polygraph tests?
Shai: Your obamas are not brown enough!
Mark my word, elites, this is the first salvo in the negro uprising!
OK last comment. This sad little man:
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2008/10/23/ap-skeptical-mccain-volunteer-claims-attacker-cut-b-face
wants this to be true so badly he has come up with many many many reasons why the B might be backwards:
* For one thing, the image could be flipped.
* For another thing, she could have taken a picture of herself in a mirror.
* For a third — if she were on her back, her head held by the attacker’s left arm below her chin, her head between his legs as he scratched — she’d be upside down as oriented to him.
Awwwwww. It was *such* a good story if only she did a better job faking it.
WonderWomyn: They aren’t? i’ll have to investigate that. This may be freudian evidence of racial self hatred
Shai: I think I like yours better. It’s so much more evocative. Also, does not induce seizures in epileptics.
HuskyMescan: HA! I love it. At least real babies eventually grow up, though, into functioning adults with full vocabularies.
WonderWomyn: His “for a third” explination is, uh, intersting. Police might want to keep an eye on this guy….
AnnieGetYourFun: OMG that was the best thing I’ve ever seen
american mutt: Oh come on. There’s no “real negroids” and “fake negroids.” We’re all just negroids here. USA!
I can’t wait for Feministing to wake up and start writing out our carving culture and blaming the victim.
AnnieGetYourFun: c’mon now, *all* blingees induce seizures in epileptics. And also those desperate (read: resourceful) folks who drink Robitussin for a high…
WHY do I have to work tomorrow, instead of staying up waiting for more on this story? It has me more captivated than even effing Sarah Palin. Dear God. I think I will curl around my laptop now *drool*
OMG…it’s starting to get real good…this chick was ultra-EMO. Here are her cache’d myspage frontpage and blawg
http://74.125.45.104/search?q=cache:dNPAoAhExjwJ:profile.myspace.com/index.cfm%3Ffuseaction%3Duser.viewprofile%26friendID%3D8513159+www.myspace.com/rabbitrocker&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a
http://pdfmenot.com/view/http://pdfmenot.com/store_local/46113e787207501c86d9f6b702c45bd6.pdf
stew: Woah you’re right!
aleks: I was about to start doing that just now– you know if she was attacked I’ll feel like the biggest ass in the world and I’ll buy her a nice McCain Tee-Shirt from his online store. That’s a promise! I’m not too worried about that happening though. Not after seeing that twitter.
“the wrong side of pittsburgh”
I guess that’s part of the fake America, no?
oh yeah, and I’m the guy from the youtube screenshot that ken is featuring in this post. I’m famous biatch!
WonderWomyn: For a fourth, a backwards of anything represents the opposite that thing. A forward B represents Barack, so a backwards B represents the opposite of Barack which would be McCain. So it was a McCain supporter who jackolaterned Ashley.
HuskyMescan: I feel like one now, too.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73944103-John-Gibson-on-his-day-off
Hopefully retardified enough.
Shai: You gave Michelle some righteous curves! Yeeow!
Maybe Cut-Nut was trying to carve an “I’m cool” emoticon in her face B-) and she didn’t like how it was turning out and so she stopped and blamed it on a black man.
That’s what anybody would do, right?
yay fox news comments!
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/10/23/mccain-volunteer-says-mugged-b-carved-face/comments/
sarcasticusername: shouldn’t you be better at reading sarcasm?
Maus: good call!
Maus: The sauce is a bit dry.
swinger1121: I must say, I’m not convinced by the Myspace. According to the papers she’s 20, not 23 like the Myspace profile says, though maybe that’s just wishful thinking on her part. Doubtless, though, she’s a huge faker idiot and pretty much deserves what she’s getting.
Ok, so, when did she get punched in the eye with a “padded shot glass”/”grapes in a sock swung at her perfectly still eye socket” that gave her that “eye-makeup socket area” bruise? Was that before or after the knife on the throat? Did she land on a pile of gel-filled wrist-wrests?
Got it! After getting punched in the head, she fell on the complimentary bank-sponsored plush child’s toy next to the ATM! Now I get it.
Straight from foxnews comments: Poor Girl, Bush could have ran for office again none of this would have happened!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
AnnieGetYourFun: This is the reason why Jesus created the Blingee.
Up the road, not across the street
Mug a tard, mug a tard
Negro man
Sign for McCain makes you mad as you can
Roll her and knife her
And mark her with a “B”
Send her back to Texas for Barry and me!
And it’s already falling apart: http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_594939.html
Police planned to administer a polygraph test to Ashley Todd, 20, because her statements about the attack conflict with evidence from the Citizens Bank ATM where she claims the incident occurred, police said.
Jesus, don’t these people watch Law and Order? Stupid muppet stunts are always EPIC FAIL.
PS - “OMG you are a fat slob lulz nice try with this little stunt, ms. piggy. “
He wears that hat to cover his penis.
Even Malkin thinks she’s lying:
http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/23/why-that-mccain-volunteers-mutilation-story-smells-awfully-weird/
It’s a shame because under Obama’s health care plan she would have been able to get the immediate medical attention she clearly needed. She’s biting her fat nose to spite her fat face.
At least now we know what the number one Halloween costume du jour will be! And its easy - only takes a little makeup, and maybe a fat suit.
Attend the tale of Ashley Todd
Her skin was pale and her eye was odd
A backwards B carved by a Barry fan
Who never thereafter was heard of again.
Today we are all Tawana Brawley.
My favorite two quotes from the Fox story
“Now you will be a Barack supporter!”
“Todd received a call from the Republican presidential nominee… ” What did he tell her? “At least you’re not slathering on make up like a trollop!”
AnnieGetYourFun: that Blingee is RAW.
Like Eddie Murphy.
I say, at this point, F the whole Election, let’s just decide who gets to be POTUS by having Tawana Brawley and this chick jello wrestle on the White House lawn, or foam wrestle in the Reflecting Pool. Best three out of five pins wins.
LMAO ~ My account is the avonstephie one, that is a picture of my siamese cat Daisy - she is famous!
swinger1121: congrats! I’m on there too!
swinger1121: Nope. That ain’t her. The Ashley Todd of our little drama is far too culturally and emotionally jejeune to write that way, even with her chubby fistful of Crayola markers. And because she’s such a good, good little girl, she probably knows how to spell “clothes.”
About that MySpace Ashley Todd with the “lying is the most fun a girl can have with her cloths [sic] on” and the related anarchistic blog: Nope; that ain’t her. The Ashley Todd of our little drama is far too culturally and emotionally jejeune to write that way, even with her chubby fistful of Crayola markers. And because she’s such a good, good little girl, she probably knows how to spell “clothes.”
Oh nooooes! I’ve revealed myself to be a Secret Domineditrix! Sorry, my fellow Wonketeers. I’ll never EVER do it again. God. It’s too early to drink now, isn’t it?
swinger1121: OMG, “how will you die?” “political assassination”… no doubt a self-inflicted political assassination. bleh
trondant: I love it. He’s surrounded by fairies. totally makes sense.
Okay, she’s admitted it was all bullshit: http://kdka.com/local/attack.McCain.Bloomfield.2.847628.html
Does this mean, per the Fucks News vp guy’s comments, that McCain’s campaign is over, or just that John Moody is a lying douche?