BUSTED  7:32 pm October 23, 2008

Racial Mugging Victim Helpfully Twittered Her Terrible Tale

by Ken Layne

No way!
Is this even possible, the lameness of this? Here we have a screenshot of this gal’s Twitter feed, on a college Republicans’ site called “Life In The Field,” presumably about GOP volunteer kids. All 50 of them! Oh and then one of her Twitter buddies says, “i hope @atodd gets caught in her lie.”

Ha ha
Good lord.

But other than that, nobody on “Life In The Field” is talking about this Explosive Story! What is up, with that?

Anyway, from the rest of alleged victim Ashley Todd’s Twitter page, we learn she got a speeding ticket, and oh boy she is sure sore about those ACORN people trying to register minorities to vote, and then she is just cold twitterin’ while driving around, lost, on the “wrong side of Pittsburgh” (where blacks are), and of course she doesn’t use her phone to call Bank of America and ask where there’s a branch, because why do that? And then oh noes she gets mugged out of view of the bank security cameras, and one of Barack Obama’s brothers jumps out of the bushes and, uh, sort of gently indents a backwards “B” on the side of her face, the way you might do such a thing to yourself, using a mirror, if you were a tragic loser trying to get attention — you know, like that black Tawana Bradley!!!

Is any of this real? Because it smells like the dumbest stunt in two years of incredibly dumb stunts.

UPDATE: The Smoking Gun got screenshots of her main Twitter page before she locked access. Extra intrigue: She first claims she talked her way out of the traffic ticket, then later claims she is seeing a judge (the next day?) because she got a ticket. Maybe two tickets? Who knows, man, who knows.

EARLIER: GOP Gal Claims Savage Negro Mugged Her … For Obama!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 187 comments }

regisgoat October 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

It’s fishy, because there’s no such thing as “the wrong side of Pittsburgh.” Pittsburgh is nothing but wrong sides.

NewSpence October 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

The kicker for me?
The B is in Helvetica.

President Beeblebrox October 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

ZOMGZ a Republican got caught in the Hill District!!!1

ElectricZen October 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

No love for my investigative reporting? :)

Aw, I’ll just go chew on a dick with Katie Churchey. Me and Katie, we love to chew on that dick.

tunamelt October 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

Twitter, it leaves a shitty internet paper trail?

El Bombastico October 23, 2008 at 7:38 pm

Plus her black eye looks like it was done by the make-up artist for “The Little Rascals”. I’m surprised she didn’t Photoshop in little tweey-birds circling her head.

Oh, and Katie Churchey IS a total bitch.

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 7:38 pm

hahahahahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fin.

rambone October 23, 2008 at 7:40 pm

Ya’ll are just giving her shit cause she’s probably exploiting racial divides to gain attention while also helping rally paranoid latent racists to the side of her candidate of choice.

tunamelt October 23, 2008 at 7:41 pm

In all honesty, this election needs to end.

Only Ron Paul can save us now.

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 7:41 pm

You do know this is on FoxNews.com now, and all the commenters have decided Obama supporters are apes and criminals. The end.

Scandalabra October 23, 2008 at 7:41 pm

She looks sorta like Bristol, pre-Nieman Marcus, post Levi date.

MIRACLES October 23, 2008 at 7:42 pm

this is INCREDIBLE. Out of a Richard Wright novel or something. This is some of the greatest political theater of the election season already.

TJBeck October 23, 2008 at 7:42 pm

AngryBlakGuy is suspiciously absent… Didn’t he say something about going to Pittsburgh today?

Ken Layne October 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm

[re=145671]ElectricZen[/re]: Oh, there is love for all of you & your investigative reporting. I’ve just been doing the same stuff! The Smoking Gun is at it too! It’s like … a mugging. :(

tunamelt October 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm

[re=145689]magic titty[/re]: I tried to look for it but instead found this.

El Bombastico October 23, 2008 at 7:44 pm

The ticket she talked her way out of seems to be a U-turn ticket, while the judge ticket seems to be a speeding ticket. Seems she’s a crappy driver as well as a horrible race-riot-catalyst.

wrenchdevil October 23, 2008 at 7:45 pm

a backwards B..like you would do if looking in a mirror..
as for the black eye..her eyeball would be totally bloodshot if she were punched there..
I call Bullshit.

SwanSwanH October 23, 2008 at 7:46 pm

[re=145669]NewSpence[/re]: Sans serif, sans credibility.

Uncle Sam October 23, 2008 at 7:46 pm

I wish her twitter dialogue was a little more hard boiled. Can’t really get the mood of the scene with lines like, “This traffic in Pittsburg needs to go away!!!!”

Terry October 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Did she file a false police report? Is Miz Thang going to see an even worse side of Pittsburgh?

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

[re=145669]NewSpence[/re]: What, you expected serifs? From a Republican???

stew October 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

For God’s sake, even Malkin doesn’t believe this bullshit… “Notice how the “B” is backwards on the right cheek��if you were looking in a mirror and put it on your own face�it would appear backwards and would probably be on your own right cheek (due to most folks are right handed)��she put it on her own face but forgot it would show up backwards.”

Indee, Michelle.

CthuNHu October 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Hey, her Twitter page has pics!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifeinthefield/2962501339/

Classy!

Yay! Child labor for McCain!: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifeinthefield/2962470277/

Portrait of a fraud in motion. Wow. Somewhere Morton Downey is thanking his lucky starbursts that he did his little self-abuse before the Internets happened. And dreading the hailstorm of reporters saying, “Hey, this is so Morton Downey,” and calling him up for comments.

WoundedVeteran October 23, 2008 at 7:48 pm

It’s kinda like…George, George, George of the White House, dumb as I can be, AAAAHHHHHHEEEEEAAAHHHH, LOOK UP MY ASS AMERICA, MY PLAYGROUND IS SU PLAYGROUND, COMO ESTA WITH A BIG MUY…. and I like my hat on while I am defiled..or not.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=145699]El Bombastico[/re]: Well, you can’t type thoughtful, perfectly spelled Twitter tweets like that while driving and not make a few little mistakes.

bhosp October 23, 2008 at 7:49 pm

“Where *is* that wonderful ape?”

Too soon?

Speed Ball October 23, 2008 at 7:50 pm

Steve Schmidt should be worried about his job. Horrible, poorly thought out racial fear mongering tactics? This chick is top-tier McCain campaign inner-circle material.

Dave J. October 23, 2008 at 7:50 pm

Her latest:

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers- I’m phonebanking so let’s all work together and get John McCain elected

There’s also a photo of some guy with Meghan McCain on that site. Meghan is so obviously pregnant, it’s kind of hilarious.

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 7:50 pm

No knife made that backwards B. Someone who wanted to cut her could have really butchered her.

Seriously, what the fuck is the matter with Grampys supporters?

Speed Ball October 23, 2008 at 7:51 pm

I just read Michele Malkin’s blog for the first time in my life, and agreed with her… THIS CANNOT BE… I must drink at a feverous pace immediately.

TJBeck October 23, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Uh oh, this will cost votes in western PA:

[talking about her phone banking]
“I called during commercials and pretended I loved the Steelers.”

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=145714]Dave J.[/re]: Isn’t that cute? She has daddy’s hunchback, too.
He came upon his honestly, though. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!

JeffGoldblum October 23, 2008 at 7:53 pm

Is this the !!!OCTOBER ZURPRIZE!!! we’ve been hearing about forever? Because if so… not that great, guys.

CthuNHu October 23, 2008 at 7:54 pm

[re=145708]CthuNHu[/re]: Never mind. He’s dead.

Well, he’s probably pretty happy about that right now, at least.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm

Her Twitter page is locked? Not for me, for some possibly Mac/Safari-based reason. Anybody need the thing? And her blogs? Got ‘em. Replenish my absinthe supply that they’re yours.

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm

[re=145698]tunamelt[/re]: Oh it’s there. It’s the top story now.

tunamelt October 23, 2008 at 7:56 pm

[re=145722]JeffGoldblum[/re]: I want a better Cocktober surprise, goddammit.

stew October 23, 2008 at 7:57 pm

What’s next? Someone will claim Obama’s campaign manager gave his grandmother a Dirty Sanchez?

AnnieGetYourFun October 23, 2008 at 7:57 pm

I wonder if it’s my refusal to get involved in Twitter that makes this all so puzzling to me.

BTW, Rachel Maddow, my gay lesbian girlfriend, is on NPR today and I love her.

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 7:58 pm

[re=145708]CthuNHu[/re]: Nothing wrong with her at all. Perfectly, perfectly..

Speed Ball October 23, 2008 at 7:58 pm

This will be my Halloween costume.

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 7:59 pm

I just can’t believe Fox is running with this bogus story, that will obviously doom McCain and any credibility they ever thought they had.

Canmon (the Inadequate) October 23, 2008 at 7:59 pm

At least now I know what my Halloween costume will be.

TJBeck October 23, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Looks like Joe McCain took it upon himself to call 911…

http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/1008/Dept_of_fraying_tempers.html

ElectricZen October 23, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Oh, and Drudge has taken down the photo. Even he is backpedaling now…

ManchuCandidate October 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

[re=145689]magic titty[/re]:
Won’t Faux ever learn? Susan Smith blamed the Dark Folks till they found out she was the krazee and fucked her Repub step daddy.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

HEY YA’LL! Check this out! this victim has a kind of catch-as-catch-can artistic side. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGxhshrCssc

tednugentslover October 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

[re=145669]NewSpence[/re]: to make a totally lame typographic joke ( is there any other kind of typographic joke )….

The B wasn’t Helvetica, it was Akzidenz Grotesk. ha Ha ha.

Voyou Charmant October 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm

Couldn’t make it up if you tried; This is the headline on her myspace page: “Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her cloths off, but its better if you do.”

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=8513159

The Neoskeptic October 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm

black eyes don’t turn that black in just a matter of hours. this has Justin Zatkoff written all over it.

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=145717]Speed Ball[/re]: You just wanted an excuse to fall in love with Michelle.

jagorev October 23, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Oh, man, this is hilarious.

facehead October 23, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Look at the bottom of the screenshot from the smoking gun, she openly admits faking an orgasm for the Steelers.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 8:04 pm

This is the best schadenfreude ever: Crazy nut, desperate to help WALNUTS! torpedoes what little chance his campaign had left. Huzzah, you’ve really saved a nation you stupid bitch.

President Beeblebrox October 23, 2008 at 8:04 pm

[re=145742]ElectricZen[/re]:

SHOCK: McCain Volunteer Assaulted, “B” Carved in Face…

NewSpence October 23, 2008 at 8:04 pm

[re=145745]tednugentslover[/re]: You win, sir. In Bold.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Even better, Drudge (in an attempt to smear Barry) shot this ridiculous story into the National spotlight in the first place. Way to go Republicans, you’re really committed to losing this thing.

ChromeX October 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Drudge Has Pulled The Plug…

AnnieGetYourFun October 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

[re=145669]NewSpence[/re]: Proof that a liberal carved it!

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 8:06 pm

[re=145742]ElectricZen[/re]: Love it.

Oh Drudgey, you know you want to love Barry and his strapping manhood, but you need to rattle those noise toys that gets the rabid right in a lather and gets your page views up.

ShaqsDong October 23, 2008 at 8:07 pm

Go to cnn.com right now, scroll down to the picture of the Palin-o-lantern. Look at the story title. Thank me later.

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 8:07 pm

[re=145744]Mara47[/re]: Hahaha. Is that the shit she used to paint herself? Rulers edge, etc…

iwillsavethispatient October 23, 2008 at 8:08 pm

[re=145708]CthuNHu[/re]: That photostream is awesome… I like this picture of some guy and Ms McCain. Tip for the guy – it’s Meghan. It’s on the front of her book, dagnamit! Also, don’t refer to your volunteers as “vols”, it sounds too medical to me.

american mutt October 23, 2008 at 8:09 pm

[re=145668]regisgoat[/re]: ABSOLUTELY TRUE. That’s even fisher than the backwards ‘B’

My theory, women lack spatial reasoning and that’s why she couldn’t carve a backwards ‘B’ forwards on her face.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:12 pm

[re=145744]Mara47[/re]: I fucking hate you. There is a mirror behind her in that video. The fat rolls hanging out of the back of her pants are, um, obvious.

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 8:13 pm

[re=145759]ShaqsDong[/re]: brilliant

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 8:13 pm

D.L. Hughley! gets the scoop that Scotty McClellan is voting for Obama.

Will all the gay Republicans just come out admit your love for Hopey?

WikipediaBrown October 23, 2008 at 8:14 pm

[re=145759]ShaqsDong[/re]: OMFG that was funny!

bfstevie October 23, 2008 at 8:14 pm

This young woman very definitely could be up for a job in McCain’s Justice Department, or a scholarship to Regent University Law School.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Oh Ashley, Ashley, Ashley…I think we have the carving weapon.

I won’t post your Twitter pages here. It’s all too sad. The idea of you perfectly typing all those tweets while driving around an unfamiliar part of the wrong side of town looking for an ATM, and then to be all scratched up like that just out of camera range, too.

Golly. Jeepers.

Oh, but I was talking to my Wonkette friends. [Change POV.]

Here is the alleged victim talking about the scratchy edges of plastic rulers, and how useful they can be to the campaign. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGxhshrCssc

AnnieGetYourFun October 23, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Is it possible she took the picture of herself in the mirror? It doesn’t look like a self portrait, but could be?

Crab1 October 23, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Will someone just take this sad little girls rotten virginity so she can feel loved. Cutters just want to feel important to somebody.

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 8:20 pm

retaliation against the evil blak janitor?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe-5nr3NK34

This chick is a fucking goldmine

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Sorry for posting doubly about that YouTube vid, but, well, God.

And the MySpace epithet? Thanks, Voyou Charmant.

Liar liar…scratchy razory ruler on fire…

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 8:21 pm

There is now video of Sarah Palin calling Bill Ayers a terrorist and such, but refusal in labeling abortion clinic bombers terrorists. This, in the latest installment of her Brian Williams interview.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com

FAIL.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:22 pm

[re=145764]Rodney Badger[/re]: Oh Rodney, say it isn’t over between us!

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 23, 2008 at 8:23 pm

[re=145772]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I don’t see a camera in the picture. Seems hard to avoid at that angle.
~

facehead October 23, 2008 at 8:23 pm

She has a bunch of stuff posted on the youtube, including:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqsBlXhnFng

And, a-hem… let’s just say that if she isn’t a lesbian…. her first husband will be.

And if you want to get all Crockett and Tubbs on her ass you can investigatively watch and make fun of all her other lame videos: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23LITF08&search=tag

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm

[re=145777]Deepthroat[/re]: I’m sensing a pattern. She may have a habit of sharing stories about how she gets victimized by black dudes.

Reefpilot October 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Draft young republicans… one of my favorite leftist slogans. Doesn’t sound as cool as “England prevails,” but it’ll do.

On a non-snarky note, I erected my Obama sign today. That’s right, erected it. By the mailbox. Erected it by the box, but not in the box or under it, like Levi should have done with yup junior. Yeah.

Have an ongoing bet with my wife. I said it would be jacked/fucked over in six hours. So far it’s still standing, though I take it down at dusk to fool the hoopleheads into thinking someone else yanked it before they could get to it.

I live in asschrist NC so I expect some KKK activity and a few semi-literate anonymous threats, along with a steady steam of Joe sixpack’s empty bottles in my yard for an ongoing basis. I’m liveblogging the whole deal.

If shit goes down, Wonkette will get an exclusive.

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm

[re=145777]Deepthroat[/re]: The plot thickens! Excellent detective work, DT.

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Okay, I’ve got it figured.

Joe McCain clocked her because that damn bridge was closed.

El Bombastico October 23, 2008 at 8:26 pm

[re=145777]Deepthroat[/re]: Whoa, now that makes you think. Do you think this guy did anything but 1) be black, 2) look at her?

bond October 23, 2008 at 8:28 pm

http://hotair.com/archives/2008/10/23/mccain-supporter-maimed-for-her-politics-by-robber/

hot air sez, according to the directors of her republican club, she went to the hospital and got an mri and/or cat scan in the morning..

smellyal8r October 23, 2008 at 8:29 pm

What a tragic, sad ridiculous thing to do. I”m sure she didn’t actually hurt herself, but look at the news play she got for even half a day. I suspect there’s going to be four more years of this junk as FOX continues to claim that Obama is some sort of illegitimately elected Prez (thanks to ACORN and all) and various white women claim they are assaulted in the “bad parts of town.” Brace yourselves.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:29 pm

The quote from the police spokescop in the other thread is telling. Cops usually don’t say stuff like that about things they think are legit.

El Bombastico October 23, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=145788]facehead[/re]: There are some LARP’ing videos on there. Oh please Jeebus, let her be a LARP’er!

Jim Newell October 23, 2008 at 8:31 pm

She claims it was a “black man” who did this, but we all know that Obama’s in Hawaii.

Reefpilot October 23, 2008 at 8:32 pm

[re=145801]Rodney Badger[/re]:

Other thread? Can you link, for the little people?

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=145795]El Bombastico[/re]: I don’t know, i mean, he was kind of aggressive with that broom of his…

Delicious October 23, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=145801]Rodney Badger[/re]: The cops are in the tank.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=145799]bond[/re]: A black guy just walked by my window. He had his hat on backwards and was wearing a fannypack. I carved a gigantic Louis Vuitton symbol onto my cheek. BRB, I need to go to the hospital for a lumpectomy.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Scooter October 23, 2008 at 8:35 pm

OK, I’ve flipped on this one. Just a dumb girl seeking attention or maybe inventing an alibi to divert her parents’ attention from some other outrageous misbehavior. Take away the car keys and cell phone and make her clean out the garage or sumpin’.

stew October 23, 2008 at 8:36 pm

It has happened…police now thinking this is a fake:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/10/23/politically-motivated-mutilation-real-or-hoax/

blinky_twinkie October 23, 2008 at 8:36 pm

That “B” looks like it was licked on by kittens…

StrangelyBrown October 23, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Baller? Is that what the kids are saying now?

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Are we starting to see how obsessed this chick is with her damn posters? I think the motive and at least some of the weaponry is revealing itself before our very eyes. Is Fox watching? (The Faux News one, I mean, not Mulder.)

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:39 pm

[re=145811]stew[/re]: HA HA!!! It’s rad watching epic fail happen in real time on the internet.

iwillsavethispatient October 23, 2008 at 8:40 pm

I’m going to have to come to the poor girl’s defense here – the more evidence I see, the less likely it seems that she could possibly be faking this mugging, I don’t she has the intelligence.
Let’s use Occam’s Razor and view the evidence:
1) She twitters about crap literally all the time, especially when driving around (see driving tickets).
2) She thinks those posters she makes are “pretty”. They are literally sub-3rd Grade standard.
3) She thinks that people want to see her lame video blogs on YouTube.

It is not outside the realms of possibility that she was in fact mugged and also that the “B” was done at the time. Perhaps it was perpetrated by one of her YouTube viewers.

In conclusion, Mugged Girl / Palin 2012!

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=145811]stew[/re]: 74% of TMZ viewers can’t be wrong

nurple October 23, 2008 at 8:41 pm

I’m gonna option Tonya Harding as the lead for the Lifetime Movie of The Week “Mother Look What Happened”

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:42 pm

[re=145811]stew[/re]: All she wanted was a little viral internet action, now she may have to go to jail for filing a false police report.

twoeightnine October 23, 2008 at 8:43 pm

[re=145744]Mara47[/re]: Look at the shitty handwriting on her poster and then the shitty handwriting on her face.

american mutt October 23, 2008 at 8:44 pm

[re=145819]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: If this turns out as a lie, I am so going to make T-Shirts

Mugged Girl / Palin ’12 indeed

HeyHey October 23, 2008 at 8:44 pm

I think she’s just upset that Hasselbeck gets to go on the trial with Palin after the deposition’s done. This girl got on the news first. So there!

cmg October 23, 2008 at 8:44 pm

“The wrong side of Pittsburgh” (read: “Black side of Pittsburgh”)

REALLY? The Post-Gazette article says that she was in Bloomfield, Pittsburgh’s Little Italy Neighborhood. http://www.city.pittsburgh.pa.us/district8/html/bloomfield.html Coincidentally, per the 2000 census, Bloomfield is 84.8% White

Mara47 October 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm

[re=145826]twoeightnine[/re]: BUSTED!

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm

Liberals Ripped My Flesh

RZZZZZZ!

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=145826]twoeightnine[/re]: You are a fake assault facial handwriting expert and shit.

M October 23, 2008 at 8:47 pm

I’ve used that ATM and the fees suck, but they don’t suck bad enough to make me want to carve a B in my face with my card.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:48 pm

How many McCain Maverick Points do you get for self-mutilation? She can probably cash in on a windbreaker by now.

secretagentgirl October 23, 2008 at 8:48 pm

That “R” in Registered looks a whole lot like what her backwards “B” on her face looks like.

I’m wondering how someone kicking and screaming against a giant assailant would get such a nice clean cut line on her face like that. (Other than if she were, oh, I dunno, TRACING IT ONTO HER OWN FACE WHILE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR).

M October 23, 2008 at 8:48 pm

@cmg: Yeah, exactly. The most scared I ever was in Bloomfield was the night the Penguins won the Stanley Cup, and that was because of the celebrating Penguins fans.

Simple Disaster October 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm

The lead pencil around the eye is particularly persuasive

regisgoat October 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm

[re=145712]bhosp[/re]: On the contrary, not a moment too soon.

facehead October 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm

I AM ASHLEY TODD

THE BAD LIAR

Reefpilot October 23, 2008 at 8:50 pm

That B was carved into her? Jesus. She must be on some serious restorative shit for her skin to pink over that fast. Maybe she had some of that clay healing liquid in the Angelina Jolie assassin movie that came out earlier this year.

Could any medically trained person/biology student/mary kay rep chime in her and talk about that “B” skin carving and how the hell the skin could look like that so shortly after the “incident?”

secretagentgirl October 23, 2008 at 8:50 pm

Why no eye swelling or redness either?

Could someone who has had a black eye riddle me that one, Batman?

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:51 pm

[re=145834]M[/re]: Her ATM card! That’s it. I was wondering what she used.

smellyal8r October 23, 2008 at 8:52 pm

[re=145839]M[/re]: I’ve been plenty scared in Pittsburgh and that’s just getting from check in to the elevator at the Westin.

Rodney Badger October 23, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=145845]Reefpilot[/re]: That’s what subcutaneous bruising looks like.

OffTheRecord October 23, 2008 at 8:55 pm

[re=145838]secretagentgirl[/re]: Look at the D on drive too, how the top and bottom of the letter don’t extend past the spine. The B is the same way. If you are writing quickly the bottom of the letter will usually not meet the spine of the letter so perfectly, there will be some overlap. Okay, we are all officially ready for CSI Election.

biggyv October 23, 2008 at 8:56 pm

I live literally around the corner from the ATM in question. Bloomfield is not a “bad part of Pittsburgh” by any stretch, although I’d guess a GOP staffer from Texas might consider my neighborhood “bad,” in that black people live here.

This is a vibrant neighborhood, with restaurants on either side of the ATM, and a bar across the street. There is no way a woman could be assaulted on the sidewalk like she claims without someone intervening. None.

And there are no Bank of America ATMs in Pittsburgh. If she’s been here a while like it seems, she’d know that by now.

WalnutsThePlumber October 23, 2008 at 8:57 pm

ha ha – her twitter says after she used her pocket constitution to tell a cop a UTURN was her god-given right, then she went and drank a million lattes at starbucks, like a SOCIALIST ELITIST MMMHMM HENGGHHH

regisgoat October 23, 2008 at 8:58 pm

[re=145799]bond[/re]: These guys completely believe it! It’s too bad you can’t get disability checks for being terminally credulous.

dano October 23, 2008 at 8:59 pm

This is Twana Brawley in reverse.

gesture October 23, 2008 at 9:03 pm

OK, so I’m from Pittsburgh, and that stretch of road is really busy and at 9 PM there would be many people milling about, eating out at restaurants, etc. There are many many worse places to be. I mean, my Italian grandmother may be wicked with a wooden spoon, but this girl is crazy. Go back to Texas.

M October 23, 2008 at 9:04 pm

[re=145850]smellyal8r[/re]: Ha! That area isn’t nearly as rough as it used to be. At night, I guess it’s bad enough for one to carve a J on one’s face with your keycard, or something.

11 blocks up from the Westin (at 21st and Smallman) is some amazing coffee…but they close at 4pm. I think I might carve a C on my face (with, oh, a biscotti) for some of their coffees.

secretagentgirl October 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

You know the funniest part of her self perpetuated cutting?

Chick is gonna have a backwards B for Barack scar on her face for LIFE, baby. That’s the scarlet “I was the hoaxster” letter that might make her unemployable forever. Unless she maybe wants to move to Alaska. I hear the Governor up there is all about rewarding her friends and punishing her enemies.

President Beeblebrox October 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

[re=145863]biggyv[/re]: Yup, I agree. This former ‘Burgher says Bloomfield != bad part of town. East Liberty or the Hill District I could see, but not Bloomfield.

The comments on the TMZ page are teh best:

“8 states are now filing lawsuits to see Obama’s birth certificate. What is he hiding?! The people will not tolerate a thugocracy!”

Yes! I’m going to run the highest-profile Presidential campaign in history but I’m NOT going to let anyone, even my lawyers, see my birth certificate, because I want to make people guess and cause a constitutional crisis after I’m elected because I was really born in, uh, Kenya or something like that!

Excellent. The wingnuts are finally falling apart.

Lazy Media October 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

B is for Baron Munchhausen Syndrome.

AnnieGetYourFun October 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm

[re=145813]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Ha! Srsly. I felt out of touch when I read that. But again. I’m old enough to refuse to tweet on the grounds that it is for the whippersnappers.

fuckinredneck October 23, 2008 at 9:10 pm

[re=145887]Lazy Media[/re]: B for Bill Ayers!

Murph October 23, 2008 at 9:12 pm

[re=145830]cmg[/re]:

Really! Other reports are that the area is pretty hopping on Wed night, like getting mugged in Georgetown on M: it might happen, but lots of people would know about it.

See the second comment:
http://elfninosmom.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/ashley-todd/

biggyv October 23, 2008 at 9:12 pm

[re=145885]President Beeblebrox[/re]: East Lib isn’t even that bad anymore, now that Shadyside is bleeding over into it. But I get your basic point.

There’s no way an assault like that would take place on Liberty Ave. at 9:00.

Studge October 23, 2008 at 9:15 pm

[re=145812]blinky_twinkie[/re]: Naw, the bitch was branded, which of course means that she ain’t no MAVERICK like her hero, WALNUTS!

B is for Branded, that’s good enough for me…

vividblurry October 23, 2008 at 9:16 pm

CARVEGATE 2008.

biggyv October 23, 2008 at 9:19 pm

[re=145900]Murph[/re]: Yup. I live around the corner. No way this would have happened at 9:00 unnoticed.

It’s an old-school Italian neighborhood, where word travels fast. I was at the Italian grocer two doors down from the bank, and everyone was calling bullshit. If it had happened like she claimed, someone would have seen it and word would have gotten around.

StrangelyBrown October 23, 2008 at 9:22 pm

[re=145891]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: We should start dropping it into our Wonkette comments. Wouldn’t that be baller?

Also too though, does anyone else think maybe she really was robbed and hit, but then she decided to up the ante and carve herself in her car’s rearview while waiting for the cops to arrive? Making yourself out to be a national political celebrity can be a good way to overcome the indignity of getting robbed.

Hairy Reed October 23, 2008 at 9:26 pm

[re=145863]biggyv[/re]: I think they have black people in Texas too… maybe Pittsburgh’s are just more … northern?

OffTheRecord October 23, 2008 at 9:27 pm

[re=145920]StrangelyBrown[/re]: B is for Baller!

JeffGoldblum October 23, 2008 at 9:31 pm

THIS IS OBVIUSLY THE WORK OF TEH ILLUMINATI AND MASONS. I’M NEVER BEEN SO SURE OF NETHING!!!

lawrenceofthedesert October 23, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Maybe it’s hard for a Texas girl to distinguish Italians from blacks (anyone not blonde is “black”), and any neighborhood without churches that have marquee signs is “bad.” The alleged attack was on her head, so it’s certain that no important organs were damaged. I suggest 90 days of community service, following Michele Bachmann around with a shovel and bucket, Ringling Bros. style.

StrangelyBrown October 23, 2008 at 9:38 pm

[re=145929]OffTheRecord[/re]: That’s it — one of her friends said “bitch say ‘baller’ one more goddamn time and I’ll carve it into your face!” And the rest is history.

sk1win October 23, 2008 at 9:40 pm

You guys are not understanding: when the Black rapist (I know, it’s redundant) orally sodomized her, he aggressively imprinted his Black Man Snake ‘mark’ through her cheek. Hence the reverse B.

glamourdammerung October 23, 2008 at 9:47 pm

[re=145882]secretagentgirl[/re]: Not deep looking enough for that.

Which is a pity.

Rush October 23, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Maybe next time she can use that scalpel to slice those Lewinsky love handles off – portly pepperpot

sk1win October 23, 2008 at 9:50 pm

She used a hatchet when she should have used a scalpel. A true Republican.

Huarax October 23, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Is anyone getting some major deja vu from this story? I swear to god, something like this happened back in the Spring or so; some high schooler claimed they were attacked by pro-Obama students, but they found video evidence that they did it to themselves?

druranium October 23, 2008 at 9:59 pm

What a stupid cunt.

bitchincamaro October 23, 2008 at 10:13 pm

[re=145987]druranium[/re]: FTW.

mecmec October 23, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Gotta chime in with the other Bloomfieldians — I was in a bar about 2 blocks away when said incident occurred. It is literally impossible that no one would have noticed this. HOWEVER there is an Obama campaign office almost right across the street, which surely indicated to her that she was in a sufficiently Bad Neighborhood.

BeerdedOne October 23, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Your blogging about this lame-o, but you haven’t yet smacked down McCain for his hilarious racist video gaffe:


John McCain gaffe as he ‘agrees’ Pennsylvania is racist

BeerdedOne October 23, 2008 at 10:23 pm
gjdodger October 23, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Everybody’s forgetting the most salient point. It’s Hallo-freakin’-ween. There are makeup kits in every Wal-Green. ATodd won’t go to the hospital to have her “wounds” checked out. Hengghhh? HENGGHH?

Words October 23, 2008 at 10:55 pm

I hate to dis another chick, but, a backwards “B”? please. This guy would be in a hurry to get away, don’t ya think? Can’t believe this story is true. Many holes in her story. Believe me, I’ve unfortunately seen my share of mugged folks (male & female) and when you get beat up, you sure as hell look a ton worse than miss cutie pie w/ a small black eye & questionable B….on cheek— no way a knife did that. Hell, I’ve banged into a dorm door drunk and looked worse (minus the backwards B of course). Color me cynical.

sezme October 23, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Poor girl doesn’t even know the first rule of Fight Club.

ivenson October 23, 2008 at 11:23 pm

[re=145744]Mara47[/re]: FLAIR!

off-white working class October 23, 2008 at 11:32 pm

bet u wish u paid that ATM fee earlier “B”EYOTCH!!!!

Catalamity October 23, 2008 at 11:33 pm

I was attacked by an armed man who actually cut me. I still have scars. The average woman screams her F-ing head off when someone is cutting her. Why did no one hear her? I also rather doubt the average knife-wielding assailant has the precision and self-control to gently and apparently coolly scratch a letter into a person’s face. Not to mention that the average woman squirms and flails about when cut. At least I know I do.

bago October 23, 2008 at 11:46 pm

2 comments until the first font nerd outs themselves. Perfect.

tonehedge October 23, 2008 at 11:49 pm

She should just keep using the ‘knife’ that carved that B into her face for the sole purpose it was intended.
Carving large slices of chocolate cake to stuff her fat ugly face.

Freelance Minion October 23, 2008 at 11:50 pm

I was looking at all the other entries with hers for that group “Life in the Field,” and one of the other people had a quote that the Republican party is for “free men and not for conformists.” I can only ask, what the fuck happened to THAT Republican party, because maybe I’d be interested in that one rather than the pale losers club that exists today.

Metame October 24, 2008 at 12:05 am

Here is where she says it happened. I know that neighborhood and there would be a lot of people out and about–driving and walking–at 9PM. Also, that ain’t not Bank of America. I guess she gave up after that hour of twitter-driving.

View Larger Map

Metame October 24, 2008 at 12:23 am

On your journey to the scene of the crime you may notice that that is a full-fledged bank (not just an ATM) which would have a number of cameras around it. Turn the corner from Liberty to Pearl and there will be yet more cameras (see the white thingy hanging off the side of the building?). There is no place other than in the wide-open that the crime could have occurred. Enough time for a quick mugging, perhaps, but for the bizarre ritual Todd described? Again, it’s a busy street even at night.

On her choice of Liberty Avenue: Todd may have heard tale of Liberty Ave’s legendary status as a seedy place…but the reality of the legend has all but faded and this is not the stretch of Liberty that got it its reputation to begin with. That part is miles away in the downtown Pittsburgh area.

S.Luggo October 24, 2008 at 12:23 am

Thorazine, just not for breafast anymore.

Mr Blifil October 24, 2008 at 12:27 am

The sickest part for me was when the rapist filledl her cheeks with ACORNs and forced her to give him a “squirrel job.”

shortsshortsshorts October 24, 2008 at 12:32 am

I AM SNOW MACHINE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.

ashleyislying October 24, 2008 at 12:36 am

Disgusting. I’m tracking this stuff over at http://ashleyislying.wordpress.com/.

Besides the PERFECT ‘B’ (is that Helvetica?) in her cheek…

- The mugger followed her to her car instead of fleeing the scene
- The mugger wore only an undershirt in Pittsburgh (it was 43 degrees at the time of the attack)
- Instead of using her internet-enabled phone to find that there are NO bank of america locations in pittsburgh, she drove alone through unfamiliar neighborhoods

It’s not adding up. Shame on the cops and media for propagating this story without doing the amount of research I did in an hour with Google.

ashleyislying October 24, 2008 at 12:37 am

Disgusting. I’m tracking this stuff over at ashleyislying.wordpress.com

Besides the PERFECT ‘B’ (is that Helvetica?) in her cheek…

- The mugger followed her to her car instead of fleeing the scene
- The mugger wore only an undershirt in Pittsburgh (it was 43 degrees at the time of the attack)
- Instead of using her internet-enabled phone to find that there are NO bank of america locations in pittsburgh, she drove alone through unfamiliar neighborhoods

It’s not adding up. Shame on the cops and media for propagating this story without doing the amount of research I did in an hour with Google.

freeradical October 24, 2008 at 12:47 am

Did she carve it in herself by looking in a mirror and get it backwards???

Lemming Caution October 24, 2008 at 1:02 am

[re=145864]WalnutsThePlumber[/re]: and, what version of the constitution was that? Because that’s definitely not the one I’ve had to read a few times. Nothing about driving. A little about buttsex, but all positive.

[re=145882]secretagentgirl[/re]: nah, she’d have had to do more than that kitten-kneading to have scarring.

[re=146142]ashleyislying[/re]: the undershirt was what jumped out to me! I don’t think it’s any warmer in Pittsburgh than it is in New York tonight, and it’s pretty damned chilly out there – perhaps the mugger scratched it into her face with his frozen nipples?

BenjaminFranklin October 24, 2008 at 1:18 am

A perfectly formed backwards “B” is very shallowly scratched into the face of a McCain staffer and she refuses medical attention, allegedly by a black man who looks a whole lot, what a surprise, like Obama-what an obvious Karl Rovian scam this is. This is an attempt to appeal to racial paranoia and hate-more disgusting lies from the MCPalin crowd.

The latest Giuliani robo call is almost recordbreaking in its sleaziness. It claimed, completely falsely, that Obama is against mandatory jail time for child molesters, rapists, and murders. It turns my stomach to see the despicable libel and slander to which the Republicans have turned.

Senator Goldwater’s granddaughter and the rest of his descendants have endorsed Obama because they can’t stomach the sleaziness of the Republican campaign or the philosophy of the ‘new’ Republicans-today’s Republican party is nothing like the Republican party of Goldwater, Rockefeller, and Eisenhower. George W. Bush and Karl Rove have turned a fiscally conservative, socially moderate, small government party into a disgusting machine for the looting of the taxpayers by well connected big businesses like Halliburton and Bechtel. They favor intrusion into private matters such as whether or not a woman should get an abortion, and Palin favors the end of separation of Church and State. McCain clearly would give us more of the same as the current Administration. Their incompetence has given us huge budget deficits and a catastrophic failure of the banking and finance system. No wonder traditional Republicans like George Will and Secretary Powell are leaving the party in droves. The new Republican party’s motto should be, “Not your father’s Republican Party -Unfortunately!” Vote Obama for a return to sanity and responsibility.

Gormogon October 24, 2008 at 2:14 am

STUPID CUNT WAS AN INSIDE JOB!

Mojopo October 24, 2008 at 2:30 am

I would suspect that this twisted little knot is reading the blogs about herself. While I doubt she would visit any site unsympathetic to her hoax, one can hope that she seeks therapy. Unfortunately, I doubt she has any idea how much she has damaged the rest of her life. If she is lying, and I believe she is, it’s all going to come out in the wash and she will wear off like yesterdays news. God only knows what she will do next for attention, because she is capable of harming herself.

I don’t think anyone paid this girl to do it. But McCain should worry about his own sanity if he is willing to entertain her delusions. She has cost him the last shred of his credibility (which really wasn’t much, but still…).

This is just sick. Obama is trying to visit his grandmother and then this? Ashley, if you’re out there, you need to come clean and please get help.

The Church of Realism October 24, 2008 at 2:38 am

Twitter is:

AChurch: I’m taking a shit.
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:01:59

AChurch: OMG, It’s 16 Courics!
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:02:10

AChurch: Wow, it really stinks!
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:02:14

AChurch: Ahh shit, I go some on my hand.
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:02:15

AChurch: I’ll just wipe it on the wall.
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:02:17

Twitter is a narcissist’s wet dream wrapped in the creamy nougat of self-absorbtion.

Ken Layne October 24, 2008 at 2:52 am

[re=146022]BeerdedOne[/re]: Yeah dude, we posted that yesterday, just hit the “next page” a few times and you’ll get to it, or use the search box at the top of each page.

lizardmess October 24, 2008 at 3:51 am

I know if I was mugged the first thing I would do is Twitter about it.

freeradical October 24, 2008 at 8:21 am
Mara47 October 24, 2008 at 10:00 am

[re=146095]ivenson[/re]: Well, yes, in a pinch, but usually Pelikan, customized italic nib, Aurora black ink.

M October 24, 2008 at 10:50 am

[re=146437]Mara47[/re]: How do you like the Aurora black ink? I’ve never tried it. (Pelikan M200, EF gold nib, and either blue/black or royal blue ink…though while the royal blue looks great at first, it doesn’t hold up over time.)

DailyComicsReview October 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm

It’s over, police say she confessed to making it up. IDIOT

DailyComicsReview October 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm

Oh and look, oh wow, she’s not listed as a field rep for the College Republican National Committee lame-o “life in the field” blog. weird

LittlePinky82 October 24, 2008 at 8:16 pm

[re=146141]ashleyislying[/re]: The big thing. She didn’t take his picture on her phone! She obviously has a high tech phone that more than likely at least has a still camera on there. Why no pics? She does have a Youtube account so…

font9a October 25, 2008 at 10:36 pm

I think the backwards B is for “bunghole”

http://www.imeem.com/mtm515/music/Li-OKAbz/beavis_and_butthead_cornholio_in_coffee_shop/

Oldy but oh so prescient today.

Local Moran October 27, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=145694]MIRACLES[/re]:

Yeah, I caught a bit of a ‘Native Son’ stank on this as well.

Hilarious in its own sadly absurd way.

Be on the lookout for my fifteen minutes of fame when I accuse a well-dressed professional in the Downtown Huntsville area of accosting and forcing me to don an unflattering shade of Revlon. And maybe an all expense paid trip to Neiman-Marcus.

*goes to open a Twitter account*

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