HE IS DANGEROUS  5:38 pm October 23, 2008

Barack Obama Sneezes!

by Jim Newell

Barack Obama hates his friends in the media so much that he always sneezes on their feet, because he can and because he wants to piss them off. But reporters are so gay for Obama that they enjoy having his magical unicorn boogers all over their feet. So then Obama wipes his snot on the reporter’s arm. Same deal. No luck for this guy. [YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 62 comments }

Dave J. October 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm

I’m pretty sure he just gave the secret Muslin attack code when he sneezed. I heard it.

AnnieGetYourFun October 23, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Magical Unicorn Boogers would be a great name for a band. Or Palin’s next kid.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 5:42 pm

Move over sneezing panda!

slappypaddy October 23, 2008 at 5:43 pm

I’m never gonna wash that reporter again.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 5:43 pm

They say his snot made the obese thin.

Sabre_Justice October 23, 2008 at 5:44 pm

If it doesn’t bounce off the hills and scare the sheep, as we say down in New Australialand, it’s not a real sneeze.

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Unicorn Boogers cure cancer.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Quick, someone get that paper on eBay.

bitchincamaro October 23, 2008 at 5:45 pm
StrangelyBrown October 23, 2008 at 5:50 pm

“I am covered in the snot of the Leader! He favors me!”

V572625694 October 23, 2008 at 5:52 pm

[re=145406]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Nice.

Do we really only have two more weeks to make fun of the Palin family?

problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 5:52 pm

That reporter’s squeal of pleasure made the whole thing very R. Kelly-esque.

facehead October 23, 2008 at 5:53 pm

Uppity sinuses…

JeffGoldblum October 23, 2008 at 5:56 pm

This video is racist in too many ways to count.

sarahconnor October 23, 2008 at 5:56 pm

[re=145413]NoWireHangers[/re]: MASSIVE WIN

No, really, can we get a Barack Cam? Is that too much to ask? C’mon Wonkette, toss me a friggin bone!

facehead October 23, 2008 at 5:57 pm

This will become the snot heard round the world.

BeatrixSlaughter October 23, 2008 at 5:58 pm

So, he’s not a robot after all? I’m confused.

longjohnson October 23, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Marion Barry would be proud

loquaciousmusic October 23, 2008 at 6:01 pm

That dude should cut off his arm and put it in a shadowbox on his living room wall.

Ilikepigeons October 23, 2008 at 6:07 pm

new on drudge report. black gang obama supporters beat up 20 year old girl and carve B on her face. really, they said it so it must be true. obama gangs are going to take over the real america, pittsburgh.

superfecta October 23, 2008 at 6:07 pm

Will all the tags going forward be lyrics from Jesus Christ Superstar?

stolichnayaaa October 23, 2008 at 6:08 pm

[re=145451]BeatrixSlaughter[/re]: I think he was just rebooting.

Kev-O-Tron October 23, 2008 at 6:08 pm

SEE! I knew he’s not a robot!

Kev-O-Tron October 23, 2008 at 6:08 pm

[re=145451]BeatrixSlaughter[/re]: damn…

President Beeblebrox October 23, 2008 at 6:09 pm

ZOMGZ, Barry sneezes?!?

problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 6:12 pm

[re=145468]Ilikepigeons[/re]: It will be the lede on every cable news show.

iwillsavethispatient October 23, 2008 at 6:12 pm

[re=145436]V572625694[/re]: Yeah, only two more weeks AND THE FOLLOWING EIGHT YEARS!!!!! aaaaaaarghh!

Oh, wait, no, yeah, just two weeks. I read the polling numbers wrong.

Sgt. Semanski October 23, 2008 at 6:14 pm

Isn’t that headline the second-shortest verse in the Bible?

CrabtreesBludgeon October 23, 2008 at 6:17 pm

OMG, I can’t believe how endearing I found that. I am so totally, pathetically, absolutely in the tank. It’s not even funny anymore – I need to up my medz.

regisgoat October 23, 2008 at 6:19 pm

“And so, the Republican invasion was ended by the littlest bacteria which God in his wisdom put in Barack Obama’s nose.”

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Jeebus people it’s just a fucking sneeze!

The Cold Sea October 23, 2008 at 6:20 pm

[re=145483]Sgt. Semanski[/re]: “He sneezed” would be the shortest.

I hear McCain farts when he talks to reporters…really bad ones, too. You notice Sarah kept her distance last night in the NBC interview.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Let’s get some of that sneeze vapor in a vial so we can preserve it for future generations.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 6:24 pm

[re=145496]The Cold Sea[/re]: I hear WALNUTS! farts cause cancer.

V572625694 October 23, 2008 at 6:24 pm

[re=145480]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: She’s not bad to look at, but the voice makes her not even hate-fuckable. It makes me shrivel inside every time I hear her speak.

CrabtreesBludgeon October 23, 2008 at 6:25 pm

[re=145491]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: How can you say that Shorts?!?! It’s a magical Hopey unicorn rainbows sneeze. It’s the sneeze that’s going to save us from this wingnut republitard hell we’ve been living in for the past 8 years – the sneeze heard round the world if you will. It’s..oh fuck it. Medic!

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 6:26 pm

[re=145468]Ilikepigeons[/re]: Drudge is just about as desperate as WALNUTS! campaign these days.

Itsjustme October 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm

[re=145496]The Cold Sea[/re]: OMF’s! the Worst kind!

Speed Ball October 23, 2008 at 6:28 pm

WRONG.

When Obama sneezes you do NOT say “God Bless You”. You say “ALLAH GESUNDHEIT AKBAR”.

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 6:29 pm

[re=145507]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: To be honest with you, when I watched the sneeze in my heart of hearts that an angel received it’s wings.

AnglRdr October 23, 2008 at 6:31 pm

[re=145491]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “Just” a sneeze? That is a Hopey sneeze you’re talking about, there, son, not a mere mortal sneeze.

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 6:31 pm

we need to see his medical records immediately.

Speed Ball October 23, 2008 at 6:33 pm

What other “urges” is Barack Hussein fighting off hmmm?

Palin-Plumber2012 October 23, 2008 at 6:33 pm

[re=145403]Dave J.[/re]: Haha, that was my joke too… making me think it’s the truth.

Itsjustme October 23, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Wish the reporter would have said “Nigga Pleazzze”

CrabtreesBludgeon October 23, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=145516]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Well done. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem!

Ilikepigeons October 23, 2008 at 6:40 pm

[re=145479]problemwithcaring[/re]: you are correct.

Ilikepigeons October 23, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=145510]NoWireHangers[/re]: and I’m loving every minute of it.

CrabtreesBludgeon October 23, 2008 at 6:44 pm

[re=145526]Itsjustme[/re]: Ha! Totes!

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Bodily functions are in the tank?

Lascauxcaveman October 23, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=145469]superfecta[/re]: “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” would be a good tag for McCain’s traditional base being all “meh” about him.

OzoneTom October 23, 2008 at 6:52 pm

That title made me think of “Garbo Talks!”

sarahconnor October 23, 2008 at 6:55 pm

[re=145469]superfecta[/re]: What’s the buzz, tell me whatsa happenin’?

StupidGeek October 23, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Oh! That I were the sleeve on that reporters jacket! That I might touch that sneeze!

Itsjustme October 23, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Obama sneezes and the Dow finishes up. Go Figure.

sarcasticusername October 23, 2008 at 7:34 pm

OMG he sneezes just like a terrorist!

TJBeck October 23, 2008 at 7:40 pm

What, no rainbows?

Kingbee October 23, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Hail Sneezer!!

wheelie October 23, 2008 at 8:23 pm

He didn’t wipe his hands on the flag? He’s not the terrorist America-hater I once believed in.

SisterTruth October 24, 2008 at 12:31 am

Obama sneezes diamonds and rainbows.

Jukesgrrl October 24, 2008 at 1:36 am

Nancy Grace is going to investigate that sneeze. She’ll be “unleasing the lawyers” any minute.

stolichnayaaa October 24, 2008 at 11:08 am

[re=145663]sarcasticusername[/re]: A sneeze? A cough? A terrorist mucus expulsion? /ED Hill

Achoo Akbar!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: