Wonkette
John McCain won’t speak at his “Victory Party” on Election Night, the AP just reported. Instead, he’ll “deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel’s lawn.” Really? This is what your campaign announces 10 days before the election? That you’re such a furious loser that you’ve decided, in advance, to not address your supporters at your Election Night party?
Aides said Thursday that the arrangement was due to space limitations and that McCain might drop by the election watch party at some other point.
Ha, sure, that’s the issue. “Space limitations.” There is not enough space, in Arizona, for two-foot-tall John McCain to awkwardly read his concession speech in the same ballroom where his supporters are, uh, drinking morosely.
Jesus, maybe he really doesn’t have any supporters in Arizona at all.
McCain might skip his own election-night party [AP/SF Gate]
What a maverick.
A record number of Americans will show their support for McCain by skipping McCain’s election party as well.
I will be holding a different part of my body when I vote for Barack.
Sweet Jesus. Was this announcement a concession speech?
Cuz I just pre-ejaculated.
Is there anything, at all, that this campaign has done right? I mean, come on, help me out here people…
I think this serves as the earliest concession speech in American political history.
Leave Britney alone!
Fabulous. Maybe he’s scared there’ll be riots and the angry old white people will be shooting each other like at Palin rallies?
MAVERIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It takes a special kind of douche to be a sore loser in advance.
He is just trying to get a favorable comparison by our stupid media who will say he’s dignified compared to Obama’s Victory Party of pussy and coke (the sniff-sniff kind, not the canned kind) in Grant Park.
Stay vigilant people! Don’t let them steal this shit again!
Stories like this make me warm and fuzzy:
http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7697501&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
The concession speech may be the only thing McCain says that I agree with this whole election cycle.
Did many Bothans die to bring us this information? Or am I just paranoid it’s a trap?
I bet Palin swoops into the “Self-Defeat Party” just in time to pull the switch, and all the posters turn into Palin 2012 as she raises a shotgun and lets out a cry of Jihad.
That’s what he says NOW…wait about 10 minutes and he’ll be announcing a huge party at Arizona stadium.
He can’t be there . He’ll be digging a shallow grave in the desert for a certain little Miss Mooseburger. Doing that takes time.
Wait, he’s changed his plans again — instead of giving a concession speech, he’s just going to fart in a jar and leave it at the podium. God bless America.
hockeymom: Hell yeah, Arizona Stadium. That’s in Tucson. We’ll give him a great liberal greeting here for his concession speech.
Who’d want to hang out at that funeral dirge? A thousand demoralized supporters convinced that ACORN stole the election, wincing harder and harder as each state for Obama is called by the media, before finally learning that McCain went and made a concession call to Obama at 8:30 so he could go cry alone in the back of the Straight Talk Express.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Don’t Fear the Reaper, John.
John McCain’s campaign has been modeled after Little Dorrit’s.
Biden Time: Yes.
magic titty:
Need to borrow a blue dress?
He’s in the tank.
With all the money they spent on the snowbilly’s wardrobe and makeup, they can’t afford to have an election night party.
nurple: You did NOT just play the Dickens card.
I hold McCain election parties daily. Then I wipe, flush and wash my hands. My little McCains are much less offensive than the real McCain, though.
So the Heroic American Maverick devolves into just another pathetic splatter of chickenshit. Johnny, we hardly knew ye.
I am positively GLEEFUL at this news. So much so, I’m going to type that again, in all caps: I AM POSITIVELY GLEEFUL AT THIS NEWS. God, that felt good.
Fuck you guys! He’ll be in France bailing out the latest glitch in the Large Hadron Collider.
By election night, all remaining McCain supporters will fit comfortably on the hotel lawn. Cindy always takes him for his walk there, just before bedtime.
If you just handed the whole country over to the blacks, you’d want to run and hide too.
“My friends, and select members of the press, it is with a heavy heart, but hope for the future, that I greet you here tonight.
::grince::
I have chosen this venue to tell you all, at long last, to GET OFF MY LAWN!”
This is just weird. What about all the people who love you, John McCain? What about all of your loyal frie…er, never mind.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Righttards! You’re hero just shat on your face and ran off like the coward he is!
*Your
You watch. This means there’s something up their sleeves.
His competition *is* a thick-lipped mandingo with no desire but to lure white women into his den of sin with marijuana and jazz. He’s gotta keep the trollopy cunt in line that night when whatever shattered remains of his respectability go up in a puff of bong smoke.
You also need an outdoors, sober televised appearance when your plan is to call for calm “until all the votes can be recounted.”
McCain will in fact be at Barry’s party in Chicago…. better strippers and more booze.
hockeymom: BLECCH. I can’t stand the thought of Grumpy McWrinkles defiling the memory of my Alma Mater’s awesome football team’s stadium. Oh wait, they sucked when I was there. Well, anyway, the stadium is still pretty cool.
Miller: Wow, I think I just came. Thanks!
Okay, I’m going to state the obvious here: if there’s an issue of ’space’, why the hell would you not hold your speech and election night party in a place that could hold them? What the fuck?
stolichnayaaa: WIN.
This is because he wants to be as far away from the race riots so some nut doesn’t catapult a bomb to his Walnut. We are all aware that he is planning to TRY to steal this election, right? I’m not TOO scared, since everything he tries ends up blowing up in his red ass face, but c’mon people.
Why go to all the effort of speaking from the lawn? That hotel is only a quarter-mile from his condo. He might as well just give his speech from his living room.
Wow. Methinks Mac just isn’t very good at this losing gracefully doohickey nonsense. He’s probably gonna put his fist through a wall or throw a midget (not himself) out the window or something if (when???) he loses.
If I were Cindy, I’d take a long vacation far away from Cranky Pants before he pulls out the pimp-hand on her pancake makeuped trollop face.
magic titty: Magic Titty - pre-ejaculating is just like real estate. Its all about location and timing . . .
Pathetic. And McBush was the best of the bunch! Remember Mittens? The Paultard? That REALLY old guy from the teevee show? then there was that hillbilly guy who used to be fat? Forget all their names now, but weren’t those fun days?
Where will Sarah Palin be that night? Some meth lab in Wassalia?
I figured he’d just give his speech to the bartender in the hotel lounge.
on that same night the term “that one” will used to refer to sarah palin as she thrown under the bus and tossed into the woodchipper. yippeee!
stolichnayaaa: hahahahah, you win.
I don’t blame him. The way he’s run his campaign, no one wants to hang around the people who still support it.
jilly: Paultard is above that whole Bush camp. The only crazy smart crazy insane one of the bunch.
Gopherit: Of course it will take him time, he can’t lift his arms to toss the dirt.
longjohnson: Well I can’t put it back in now, can I?!
natoslug: If you used one of these, you could skip the first and third follow-up steps.
OzoneTom: I’ve got a couple of Dutch friends in Mountain View who put one of those in. I haven’t built up the courage to let it wash me, however, as the idea of water, electricity and my testicles being in such close proximity gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Yeah, I like the theory that he’s going to be avoiding public places because his minions stole the election and the country will be in flames for a few days. I mean, it’s a crackpot theory, but I like it.
Fashizzle. What a loser. Cindy won’t have enough pills after she spends the night holding onto that whiny, pathetic prune.
“Arizona is the only state in the nation where a mother can’t tell her son that he can grow up to be President one day.”
- The late (and great) Rep. Morris K. Udall, D-Ariz.
magic titty: Yeah, its sorta like Napalm isn’t it?
stolichnayaaa: I will use the word grince forever after when referring to that strained “I pooped myself” thing Grampy does with his face. Well done.
stolichnayaaa: Wow! Nice one. I just spit man malt all over my screen. Did I just type the quiet part loud?
He’ll be with his pal, Jack Daniels,
And his partner Jimmy Beam.
Gopherit: “The Web site is operated by two conservative Republicans who say they support Obama because they want Democrats to be blamed for the country’s economic hard times.”
This may be the stupidest pro-McCain “action” yet.
Well, they expect results by as early as 9 PM, and that is technically past his bedtime.
More Stalingrad behavior. Too bad because he is a basically decent guy in a party which is imploding.
It wasn’t a victory party we could believe in anyways
American Mutt, to say Paultard is above that whole Bush camp . . . wul, that’s not saying much. That would be true of every man, woman and child, in the entire world, minus those in the Bush camp.
I think it’s loser talk, but it could be “rally talk” to get all those old duffers off to the polls to put him over the top. “Poor me. Look what they’ve done to me” and all the sympathetic oldsters will agree to work five and a half more years as Wal Mart greeters to put one of their own in the WH. That said, Why not give his speech from a bamboo cell on the front lawn? Just to remind us what we are missing.
McCain will also hold his nose–and his breath–until he passes out.
Gopherit: I am grincing with pride. Now, off to drive out to the countryside, kick my own ass, and carve a W on my face.
I hate to say I told you so, but if it weren’t for the Gawker disinheritment, I could show you the post in February where I said the general election was over. The only suspense in this whole thing was whether Hillary could put him away on Super Duper Tubersday. When she didn’t, that was the ball game.
Walnuts DOES suck particularly, but Ronald Reagan would have gotten his ass kicked this year. NO REPUBLICANS, America sez.
superfecta:
Joe Biden used to bulls eye womprats in his T-16 back home in Biggers Canyon.
Well, since AZ will be on Pacific Daylight Time with the sun just starting to set when the inevitable Tide Of Suck starts rolling in the East, it should make for some fascinating pictures. They might call this with the sun setting on the career and ambition of a great Amurrcan, et cetera. Much like the last couple weeks, it kind of writes itself.
If you carve a W or M or O on your face using the mirror, because you are a dumb ass, you will get away with it…. at least I think so…. I’m off to test this theory… toodles.
McCain supporters might be drinking morosely, Palin’s supporters will be drinking moosely.
That’s so funny he won’t even party. I guess you don’t have to being married to a beer princess. I’m sure he has all the booze he needs at home. Plus he doesn’t have to worry about anyone looking at him while he’s crying.
shortsshortsshorts: And they have craps games where he can spend the rest of his money.